A Mother's Love
by Loridhhp
Summary: Sequel to "A Mother's Hope". Lorelai and Luke face parenting challenges unlike any they had ever faced. Love heals even the most unreachable child and teaches lessons in the process. Come be inspired by the power of love and moved to tears of joy. LL, RL
1. Chapter 1

**Here it is! Finally! The sequel to "A Mother's Hope". This story will bounce around in the time line so I hope I won't confuse anyone. It will make sense when you read it. If you haven't read "A Mother's Hope", please do as it will explain things in greater detail, especially Rory's back story. I hope you enjoy this. As always, there will be a dramatic story line, but it will also have lots of romance and humor as well. Most of all, it will hopefully be inspiring to anyone going through the same situation as Lorelai and Luke. And yes, there will be a happy ending! Lol! So enjoy! And don't forget to press the pretty purple button and review. :D**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman- Palladino.**

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Welcome to our crazy world**

A small boy sat in the middle of the floor rocking back and forth rhythmically. His tiny body swayed to an unheard beat as he slowly rocked. His expression was one of peaceful contentment, his bright blue eyes focusing on one thing only; the spoon he wiggled deftly in his chubby fingers. The world around him did not exist as he rocked and wiggled his spoon.

His mother sat down on the floor next to him, mesmerized by the sight. She reached out and stroked her son's mop of dark curly hair, the result of many haircut refusals, and gasped as the boy jerked away from her as if burned by fire. She pulled her hand back, afraid to incur yet another one of her son's screaming fits. He didn't like to be touched, hadn't since he was a toddler. There was no snuggling with him, no kisses, no tickles, no hugs; only screams. The reality of it brought tears to her eyes.

The boy continued to rock, oblivious to his mother's presence. He stared intently at his spoon from the corner of his eye, the fingers of his right hand keeping the spoon in constant motion. No sights or sounds could distract him from his self-imposed isolation. His mother watched him as he rocked with the quiet concentration of a Zen monk. She found herself beginning to rock along with him. They rocked together, side by side, a tandem unity of fluid motion; together, yet separate.

The boy's father watched from the doorway, his arms crossed. He watched as mother and son sat and rocked. He wasn't used to seeing his wife so still, so caught up in the moment. She picked up a spoon from the floor and began to wiggle it in her fingers exactly as her son did. A tiny smile played on his lips as he watched his wife get lost in their son's peaceful solitude. He found his own breathing slowing to match the rhythm of his son's rocking. Tranquil. Yes, that was the word that came to mind. The scene before him was tranquility at its most poignant.

A pair of tiny arms wrapped around his legs, breaking the moment. He looked down to see his daughter's big blue eyes and happy grin. He ran his fingers through the soft light brown curls that framed his little girl's face, a face that was the image of her mother's. The precocious four- year old scurried into the room to join her twin on the floor. She saw her mommy imitating her brother and figured this was a new game. She wanted to play too. She sat down next to her brother and rocked along with him and their mother.

The boy eventually realized that he wasn't alone in his rocking and spoon flapping. Both mother and sister were there caught up in the moment with him. Suddenly he looked over at his mother. He stopped rocking and looked her straight in the eyes. She sat still, holding her breath, as she gazed into the curious eyes of her son. Then it happened: he smiled! It was brief and fleeting but it was there, a smile of recognition. She cried out and grabbed her boy, kissing him on his pink cheeks. He flinched and looked away. The rocking continued with greater intensity.

The mother stood up and rushed over to where her husband stood. Tears shone in her eyes and a smile brightened her face. She wrapped her arms around her husband and he enveloped her in his loving embrace. He could feel her tears soaking into his flannel shirt as she sniffled. He caressed her long dark curls and pressed a tender kiss to her head as she leaned against his shoulder.

"Luke, he looked at me. He looked right at me and smiled." Lorelai Danes looked up at her husband and gave him a watery smile. "He's in there somewhere. I know he is."

Luke was at a loss for words. He sighed and held his wife while he watched his son rocking, lost in his own little world. The little boy continued to rock, his gaze on nothing in particular, while his twin sister rocked along with him, a happy smile on her face. The hypnotic serenity of the scene playing out before him caused Luke to reminisce. His thoughts traveled back to the moment it all began.

"I can't believe I have to do this again," Lorelai groaned, as she waddled down the hallway of the hospital. "Just because your daughter won't stay head down and keeps turning, I have to go through this agony again!"

"Oh, so now she's MY daughter," Luke argued, as he followed Lorelai to the maternity wing. "It's not my fault that you've got two rambunctious babies in there who won't stay put! Sounds like they take after YOU!"

"Don't start with me Luke," Lorelai seethed. "I've got no ankles. I can't see my feet, let alone reach them. I've got heartburn from hell, and I haven't been able to sleep comfortably in months! I'm tired and cranky, and I'm not looking forward to having two doctors push and shove on my big fat belly just so they can get Rosemary's babies here to move into the proper position for birth! It hurt like hell the last time!"

"You done yelling at me or should I brace myself for round two," Luke growled, as they approached the nurses station in the maternity ward.

"Can't we just go home and let them turn themselves," Lorelai whined, giving the Gilmore pout for good measure.

"No. Now get a grip and let's get these rugrats back where they belong," Luke stated as the nurse looked up.

"Can I help you," the nurse at the desk asked. Lorelai groaned but said nothing.

"My wife is here for her second fetal version in three days," Luke said calmly.

"Name," the nurse inquired, as she looked at her computer screen and prepared to type.

"Lorelai Danes," Lorelai said with a tired sigh.

"Okay Mrs. Danes, come on back and we'll get you prepped and ready for Dr. Rubin," the nurse stated, as she escorted Lorelai and Luke into a nearby room.

Lorelai undressed and put on a gown. She hated being exposed in the back, so she put another gown on backwards to cover her completely. Luke helped her up onto the examining table and she lay back, resting her head on the paper-covered pillow. She felt uncomfortable all morning, crampy and more hormonal than usual. Her lower back hurt so she positioned herself on her side while waiting for her Obstetrician. She was promptly greeted by several strong kicks to the ribs from her stubborn babies. They were in a breech position and apparently refused to turn head down in the birth canal.

"Ah Lorelai, I see you're back again," Dr. Rubin announced, entering the room, file in hand.

"Yes I am," Lorelai replied. "I just can't get enough of this place; the poking and prodding, the cold gel on the belly, the having to pee every five minutes during an exam, oh and my favorite… the thrill of having my huge belly pushed, shoved and twisted, all in an effort to turn these rascals head down into the position for birth. I'm thinking about moving my bed in here, maybe do a little redecorating, hang a few posters on the wall…I need a focal point during labor so why not Bono?"

Dr. Rubin laughed and set down the file on the desk. "Well let's see what we're dealing with before you go hiring redecorators. Now if I could get you to put your feet in the stirrups please…"

"Aw jeez," Luke grumbled, causing Lorelai to giggle. "Do I really have to be in here for this?"

"You really think I'm going to let them squash my baby laden tummy like Play Doh without you here," Lorelai said with raised eyebrows. "Suck it up Cool Hand, I need you."

"Yeah, well the claw marks in my arms and hands still haven't healed from the last time," Luke complained. "You took chunks of flesh out of my forearm, not to mention ripped out quite a bit of hair on said arm so you need to find another masochist to hold your hand."

"You ARE kidding right," Lorelai asked with wide eyes. She turned on the pout full force. "Twenty-six hours of labor with Rory! At least I had breaks between contractions. This was ten minutes of excruciating pain!"

"Well before I can torture you again Lorelai, I'm going to have to do an amniocentesis," Dr. Rubin stated, looking up from a sheet-draped Lorelai. "You're beginning to dilate and I want to make sure your babies' lungs are mature in case you go into labor early."

"But I'm not due for two weeks," Lorelai said, panic beginning to build in her voice.

"It's just a precaution," Dr. Rubin stated calmly. "Your babies are breech and, in this position, if you went into labor, there's a chance the umbilical cord could prolapse and cause complications. I'll do the amniocentesis and then we'll do the fetal version. You stand a better chance of avoiding a c-section if the babies are positioned head down in the birth canal."

"Is it going to hurt," Lorelai inquired pensively.

"Not nearly as much as a fetal version," Dr. Rubin replied smiling. "Don't worry: you'll get a shot of local anesthetic to numb the area. Just relax Lorelai. I'll be right back."

After Dr. Rubin left the room, an ultrasound technician entered, wheeling the ultrasound equipment. She lowered the sheet on Lorelai's waist and lifted the gown up above her burgeoning belly. Lorelai was glad she had followed Maria's advice and used vitamin E lotion on her belly throughout her pregnancy. She was relatively free of unsightly stretch marks. The technician squeezed a blob of blue gel on Lorelai's belly and began to run the ultrasound over the expanse of taut skin.

"Ah! Here we are," the technician stated. "Wanna see your babies?" She turned the monitor screen toward Lorelai and Luke. "Yep, you were right: I see two little babies, lying on their sides, content as can be. This position is called a transverse breech. If we can get them turned head down, and staying head down, you should be able to deliver normally."

Dr. Rubin entered and gave Lorelai a shot of lidocaine in her abdomen at the spot the ultrasound technician felt was safe. Once it was determined where to draw a sample of amniotic fluid that wouldn't interfere with the twins, Dr. Rubin retrieved a syringe with a rather large needle. Luke averted his eyes as Lorelai gripped his hand in a white knuckled show of nervousness. Using the ultrasound as a guide, Dr. Rubin inserted the needle into Lorelai's belly and drew a syringe full of amniotic fluid. Just to appease Lorelai, he placed a Barbie Band-Aid on the incision site.

"I'll be back in a few minutes and we'll begin turning your babies," Dr. Rubin said smiling. He headed off to drop the sample to the lab.

"I really don't want to do this again Luke," Lorelai said softly, her voice trembling.

"It's going to be okay Lorelai," Luke soothed, "I'm going to be right here through the whole thing. I managed to not pass out seeing that ridiculously large needle so I'm good."

"I can't wait to get off this table," Lorelai groaned. "My back is killing me."

Dr. Rubin returned with another doctor and they positioned themselves on opposite sides of Lorelai's expansive belly. The ultrasound technician guided the equipment over Lorelai's abdomen, as the doctors planned out their course of action. They then placed their hands over each baby.

"Are you ready Lorelai," Dr. Rubin announced. Lorelai nodded while trying to do her breathing exercises to calm her nerves.

The doctors began to gently push Lorelai's abdomen, trying to coerce the stubborn babies beneath to move. The pressure became deeper as each baby slowly changed position. Lorelai panted and moaned, while doing her breathing exercises and keeping a death grip on Luke's hands. Luke sat at the head of the table, looking down at Lorelai's red face. She continued to pant as tears slid down her cheeks.

"Stop! Please, it's too much," she panted, choking back a sob. The doctors halted their movements, giving Lorelai a chance to compose herself. Luke brushed the tears from her cheeks and kissed her forehead. When Lorelai was calmer, the doctors continued to push the babies slowly. Lorelai moaned, groaned and grunted while trying to deal with the pain. After several more stops and starts, the procedure was finished. Dr. Rubin watched as the ultrasound technician ran the equipment over Lorelai's friction reddened abdomen. The twins were now head down and not so happy about it.

Lorelai looked over at the monitor and saw her babies writhing and flailing their tiny arms, fists clenched and mouths open in silent protest. She could feel their kicking and punching. It only added to the residual pain she was feeling from the fetal version. Seeing her babies in obvious distress kicked her maternal instincts into high gear and she did the only thing a hormonal mother to be could do: she promptly burst into tears.

"Lorelai, your babies are fine," Dr. Rubin said assuredly. "They're just not too happy right now, but they'll settle down in no time." Lorelai continued to sob. "Take some time to rest. I'll check up on you in a bit and then you can go home," Dr. Rubin remarked.

Lorelai held onto Luke as she wept, finding comfort in the softness of his flannel- covered chest. He kissed her tears away and tenderly rubbed her belly in a circular motion. He could feel his babies' frantic movements beneath. As he gently soothed the aggravated flesh, he could feel the movements calming. He kissed his wife's big belly while he rubbed.

"Now you two settle down," Luke said softly to the baby-laden bump. "Mommy has had a rough time today so don't go worrying her any more than she already is." His response was a hard kick under his hand. He grinned like a little boy and looked up at his wife. Lorelai had stopped crying, but now had a look of panic on her face.

"Luke! My water just broke," Lorelai gasped. She looked down and saw the sheet getting wetter by the second.

"What do you mean your water just broke," Luke repeated in shock.

"Crap! Now I'm having contractions," Lorelai panted. "Go get Dr. Rubin! And call Rory. I need her to bring my bag from home. Luke!"

Luke turned around and rushed to Lorelai's side. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not ready for this, not today," Lorelai said barely above a whisper, her voice trembling. "I thought we'd have more time to prepare. I mean we're having twins Luke. Twins!"

"Everything is going to be fine," Luke said gently. "You've given birth before. I will be right here through the whole thing. Just rest. I'm going to call Rory and your parents and get Dr. Rubin."

Rory Huntzberger sat at her desk, typing her latest article on her computer. She glanced frequently at her notes, wondering if maybe she'd been too extensive in her research. She was always incredibly organized, making pro/con lists, taking detailed notes and printing off tons of information from the Internet. Today was no exception. She glanced at the mounds of paper stacked neatly on her desk and sighed. Since starting her job at the Hartford Courant, she found herself reveling in the work she loved, the work she thought she'd never be able to do again.

She stood up to head to the break room for more coffee when her cell phone rang, startling her. She thought it might be Logan, wanting to meet her for lunch, but the caller ID said otherwise.

"Luke! Hey, what's up," Rory answered.

Rory listened for a moment then ended the call. She called Logan and gathered her things. Her mom was having the twins! She notified her supervisor and headed for the elevator. After all that her mother had done for her in the two years since a car accident nearly took her life, she owed it to her to be there for this big event. She waited out front for Logan to pick her up.

The waiting room in the maternity ward of St. Joseph's Hospital was soon filled with family and friends. Emily and Richard Gilmore paced the floor, impatiently waiting for news of their daughter. Rory and Logan arrived with Lorelai's bag from home. Sookie left Jackson home with their kids: she wouldn't miss her best friend giving birth for anything. After all, Lorelai had been there for the births of her three kids. She was so determined to be there for her friend that she left work early, letting Manny take care of preparing dinner at the Dragonfly.

Lorelai's labor was slow to progress. Her contractions were strong and yet, after many hours, there was little dilation. Luke never left her side. He sat behind her in the bed and she leaned against him, exhausted after each contraction. He stroked her hair, kissed her cheeks, and rocked her gently in his arms between contractions to sooth her. She moaned and occasionally cried softly. Every fiber of her being was wracked with pain. Luke gave her some ice chips to suck on. She gave him a wry smile, as she was too exhausted to pelt anyone with them.

"Ah! God! Get them out, get them out, get them out," Lorelai groaned, as another strong contraction bore down.

"You're doing fine, Lorelai," Dr. Rubin said, looking up from his position at the end of the bed. "You're dilated to five centimeters now. I can see a head in the birth canal. It shouldn't be long now."

"Ah, no, something's wrong," Lorelai grunted. She felt the urge to push but she knew it wasn't time. "I need to push."

"I want you to hold back Lorelai," Dr. Rubin stated. "Keep breathing. It's not time. I'll tell you when you can push."

"Ah! Luke!" Lorelai cried out as a sharp pain tore through her.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," Luke said, leaning close to her ear.

Lorelai screamed as another searing pain ripped through her abdomen. Dr. Rubin jumped up and alerted the nursing staff to prepare an operating room. Lorelai looked down and saw blood soaking the top of the sheet that was draped over her lower half. She screamed, alerting Luke who also saw the blood and had to fight the urge to vomit. He felt light headed as he tried to listen to Dr. Rubin. He heard the words 'ruptured placenta' and 'heart rates dropping'. The room began to spin.

Lorelai was rushed into the OR for an emergency c-section. By the time Luke was gowned and masked Lorelai had been put under anesthesia, the mask covering her nose and mouth. Luke stood helplessly nearby, trying not to get in the way. Within minutes he heard the cries of his newborn, a boy. He cut the umbilical cord and watched as the team of doctors and nurses quickly cleaned his son and wrapped him up. Next came the cries of his new daughter.

Luke briefly held his new babies, one in each arm, as he looked over at an unconscious Lorelai. He kissed his wife's cheek, tears rolling down his face.

"You did it hon, you did it," He whispered into her ear. "They're so beautiful Lorelai. Our babies are here. Welcome to our crazy world kids," Luke cooed, kissing tiny cheeks.

**A/N: You like? Please review and let me know. I love reviews. They inspire me to write faster.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter! I hope you all like it. Lorelai finally gets to meet her babies. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You guys rock! Note to Katlyn: Don't worry, Rory and Logan will be in the story. We'll see more of them as it progresses. Jamie: I can't really answer your exponential amounts of questions, but if you keep reading the answers be be revealed. So thank you reviewers! You make my day! Enjoy and please leave a review: it's motivation for me to write faster.**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino.  
**

**Chapter 2: Sweet pea and Spud**

Luke barely had time to study his children's features. They were whisked away to the neonatal intensive care unit for further assessment and monitoring. He stood by helplessly, as the team of doctors closed his wife's incision and cleaned her up.

"Congratulations Luke, on your beautiful babies," Dr. Rubin announced, coming over to shake Luke's hand.

"H- how is she," Luke stammered, nodding toward Lorelai. "Is she going to be alright?"

"She's going to be fine; exhausted, sore and possibly groggy from the anesthesia, but she'll be okay," Dr. Rubin stated, as he began to remove his mask and gown.

"And our babies," Luke asked with some trepidation.

"They will be monitored in the NICU, due to possibly aspirating on fluids and the stress of delivery," Dr. Rubin assured. "We want to make sure the twins' lungs don't become infected. If all goes well, they should be moved to the nursery in a few days. On a positive note, the amniocentesis showed their lungs to be fully matured."

"I'll be back," Luke said wearily. "I want to give my family the good news."

"Lorelai will be transferred to recovery and you can see her shortly," Dr. Rubin said. "Once she wakes up from the anesthesia, she'll be assessed and moved to a room."

"Thanks for everything Dr. Rubin," Luke said, shaking the doctor's hand.

"You take good care of that lovely wife of yours," Dr. Rubin said smiling. "She's a pistol."

Luke laughed. "Yeah, but she has a way of growing on you," he said. "I wouldn't trade her in for anything. Wait till she sees those beautiful babies! I'm going to have to fight her for time with them!"

"You're one lucky man Mr. Danes," Dr. Rubin affirmed with a chuckle. "You'd better go tell the family before they come barging back here."

"Oh, so you're familiar with Emily Gilmore," Luke inquired with a laugh.

"She's legendary around here," Dr. Rubin laughed. "I'll check on Lorelai in a bit. Go be a proud new daddy."

A weary Luke walked out into the waiting room and grinned at the sight before him. It was now almost three in the morning, and the waiting room more resembled an airport terminal during flight cancellations than a hospital. There were sleeping bodies everywhere; propped up against walls, slumped against each other, even sprawled out on couches. Some anxious family members paced while awaiting news of their loved ones.

Richard Gilmore sat on a couch, head thrown back, mouth opened, as little snores escaped his lips. Emily sat next to him, cradled in his arm, her head cushioned against her husband's shoulder. Logan sat on another couch, head bowed down in sleep, with his sleeping wife curled up in his lap. Even Sookie found a spot to curl up in and sleep. Luke cleared his throat loudly, causing heads to bolt upright and bleary eyes to focus.

"It's a boy," Luke announced. "And a girl," he proudly added.

"And Lorelai? How is she doing," Emily inquired, coming over to embrace Luke.

Luke rubbed his disheveled head and sighed.

"Luke? What's wrong? Is Mom okay," Rory said nervously.

"She'll be fine," Luke said, guiding everyone to sit. He flopped stiffly into a chair himself for the first time in many hours.

"But something went wrong," Sookie asked, her voice on the edge of panic.

"Lorelai's labor was hard," Luke began, "and she wasn't progressing or dilating. Anyway, she suddenly felt the urge to push and Dr. Rubin told her it wasn't time yet."

"Luke, what happened," Emily snapped impatiently.

"All of a sudden she felt this sharp pain and screamed," Luke said, turning white at the memory. "There was so much blood," He stated, barely above a whisper.

"Oh my god! Luke," Rory cried as she wrapped her arms around him. She felt sick.

"One of the twins placenta ruptured and they rushed Lorelai into surgery for an emergency c-section," Luke said rubbing his eyes. "The babies are in the NICU being monitored in case they swallowed any fluid. Dr. Rubin says they should be able to transfer to the nursery in a couple of day, barring any complications. Lorelai is in recovery. They had to put her under so she hasn't seen the twins yet. I'm going to go see her in a bit."

"So Mom is going to be okay," Rory asked, wiping tears from her cheeks.

"She'll be sore but she'll be fine," Luke stated.

"Look son, since Lorelai is in recovery, why don't you take some time to get something to eat, maybe a nice cup of tea in the cafeteria," Richard said.

"Why don't we all go," Emily motioned. "There's no sense in sitting here waiting for Lorelai to wake up. Let's give her some time to rest. God knows she needs it."

The first sensation Lorelai was aware of was pain. Sharp, searing pain. She had no idea where she was, but she felt nauseous. She moaned softly as she tried to open her eyes. She was groggy and light headed. She licked her parched lips and swallowed thickly, trying to shake the fog in her head. The first object her eyes were able to focus on was a fluorescent light on the ceiling, the glare from which made her shut them tightly again. She opened her eyes again and looked around.

"Where am I," She inquired softly. "Where's Luke? Where are my babies? I don't hear them," she added, panic rising in her chest.

"You're in recovery Mrs. Danes," a nurse stated calmly. "You've just had an emergency cesarean. Your son and daughter have been brought to the neonatal intensive care unit for assessment."

"Are they okay," Lorelai squeaked out, tears filling her eyes.

"They're strong and have quite the lungs," the nurse soothed. "Dr. Rubin wants to make sure they don't develop any infection in their lungs due to possibly aspirating on fluid."

"What happened," Lorelai asked.

"One of the twins had a rupture of their placenta which caused distress. You hadn't dilated enough, so they had to perform a c-section and deliver them," The nurse said.

"It hurts and I feel sick," Lorelai said weakly.

"I want you to take this," the nurse said, offering Lorelai a small cup of orange colored liquid. "It will help with the nausea. You're feeling ill from the effects of the anesthesia. It will pass. I'll get you something for the pain. Right now I want you to rest. Your husband should be back shortly. I believe he went to spread the good news and get a bite to eat."

Lorelai drank the contents of the cup and sank back against the pillow. She wasn't sure what was worse… the pain from the incision or the cramping in her uterus. The room was still spinning from the residual effects of the anesthesia. She wanted Luke there to hold her. Two fetal versions and she STILL had to have a c-section! It wasn't fair. She didn't even get to see her babies being born or hold them before they were whisked away. The nurse came back with a shot for the pain and soon Lorelai was slipping into a grateful sleep.

Luke sat on a chair next to the bed. Lorelai had been moved to a room after spending a few hours in recovery. She was still sleeping five hours later. Emily and Richard, Rory, Logan, and Sookie came in briefly to see Lorelai but decided to leave to catch some sleep. Luke knew they would return later in the day. He slept for a while in the chair but was awakened by the sound of soft moaning. He looked over at Lorelai and saw her blinking to clear her vision.

"Luke," Lorelai whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

"I'm here babe," Luke responded, as he leaned over and kissed her cheek and stroked her hair.

"I missed it," Lorelai murmured, her eyes welling up. "I missed our babies being born," she choked out and began to cry.

"Oh Lorelai, don't cry, please," Luke begged as he cradled his sobbing wife. "Everything is going to be fine."

"But I missed it and I can't get that back Luke," she sobbed, wiping her eyes.

"You have a lifetime to make up for not being conscious for their births," Luke soothed. "I was there and saw it all."

"Tell me," Lorelai said sniffling. "I want to know everything. Don't leave anything out."

Luke climbed up next to Lorelai in the bed, and cradled her in his arms, as he told her the story of their babies' births. He proudly related the fact that he hadn't passed out with all the bodily fluids flowing. He described, in as much detail as he could remember, the c-section and subsequent cutting of the umbilical cords. Lorelai listened intently, becoming drowsy in the softness of Luke's flannel-covered chest. She was more exhausted from her ordeal than she realized.

"I want to see them Luke," Lorelai said, looking up into Luke's eyes.

"They're down in the NICU," Luke said lamely. "I don't think they will bring them here."

"Then I'm going to them," Lorelai said, trying to sit up. She groaned. "Help me Luke. Please. I need to see them."

"Don't move," Luke said, as he gently climbed out of the hospital bed. "I'm going to find a wheelchair, then I'll help you into it."

"Do we get to do wheelies down the hallway," Lorelai inquired with a crooked smile.

"Only if you're good," Luke chuckled.

"I'm always good! How do you think I got these two rugrats," Lorelai retorted with a sassy grin.

"Glad to see you're feeling better," Luke announced, kissing her sweetly on the lips.

"Nah, still feeling like crap," Lorelai replied with a smile, "but the thought of you cutting umbilical cords on two slimy babies makes it all worth while."

Luke went to the nurses' station and retrieved a wheelchair for Lorelai. He pulled the door closed to Lorelai's room. After pulling a nightgown from Lorelai's bag, he helped her into it, being careful not to hurt her. She had a large bandage covering her lower abdomen and a catheter. She didn't even remember them putting in a catheter, she was in so much pain. Well, underwear was out of the question. Luke pressed the controls for the bed to lift the head as high as it would go. He then assisted a grunting Lorelai to a full sitting position. She swung her legs painfully over the side of the bed and grabbed Luke around the neck. He helped her into the wheelchair and covered her with a blanket.

"Wait," Lorelai called out, as Luke began to wheel her to the door. "Aren't you forgetting something?" She eyed her bag and looked up at Luke.

"Ah jeez, Lorelai," Luke grumbled. "Please don't make me put those horrid things on you."

"I wore them when Rory was born, and I've saved them all these years," Lorelai stated with a pout. "I have to wear them. You wouldn't deny a woman in pain? Please." She gave him the face and Luke was a goner.

"Alright! Stop with the pouting," Luke groaned, retrieving the desired items from Lorelai's bag. "Stupid, dirty old things. Ridiculous, embarrassing, childish…" he mumbled under his breath.

He turned to Lorelai and shoved her feet into a pair of old worn out bunny slippers.

"Happy now," he asked, rolling his eyes.

"Very," She said, wiggling her bunny-covered toes. The blue eyes, faded floppy ears, and pink nose poked out from under the blanket. "Let's go see our babies," she said grinning.

Luke pushed the wheelchair while Lorelai held on to the pole containing her IV and catheter bag. They stopped outside the NICU and looked in the window. There were isolets everywhere, each containing a tiny newborn. Nurses made rounds to each isolet to check vitals and monitor equipment. Parents wearing gowns and gloves sat near their babies, some in rocking chairs holding impossibly tiny bundles, some only touching their babies through openings in the isolet. Lorelai's joyous mood dissipated at the sight and her thoughts went to her babies.

"I want to see them," Lorelai said softly, looking up at Luke with misty eyes.

"Okay, let's go," Luke sighed, pulling the door to the NICU open and pushing the wheelchair through.

"Can I help you," asked a nurse inside.

"Yes, we're here to see our babies," Luke said. "The last name is Danes."

"Ah Mr. And Mrs. Danes, yes," the nurse said smiling. "My name is Sandy. I'm the nurse assigned to your beautiful twins. Come this way and I'll introduce them to you," she said to Lorelai. "They were actually in two neighboring isolets but cried so much that we put them together. They've been content ever since. They have a special bond with each other."

Nurse Sandy escorted the new parents to an isolet in the back of the room. Unlike the others, this isolet didn't have a lot of equipment monitoring it. Oxygen was being pumped in and IV lines were attached but nothing drastic. Lorelai looked into the isolet, blinking back tears at the sight before her. The enormity of it hit her all at once: these were her babies, hers and Luke's.

"Are they going to be okay," she said, her voice quivering with emotion.

"Believe it or not, these two are quite a pair," Nurse Sandy said. "Your son here is actually the quiet one, very sweet, likes to cuddle," she noted. "Your daughter, on the other hand, is a pistol! She's got a pair of lungs on her. She doesn't like to be apart from her brother. She's fussier and more vocal. Do you have names picked out for them?"

"I was thinking Thing 1 and Thing 2," Lorelai joked with a tearful giggle.

"We are not calling them Thing 1 and Thing 2," Luke snapped. "Don't mind her: She's still loopy from the Demerol," he added with a crooked grin.

"George and Gracie? Ricky and Lucy? Ozzie and Harriet? Fonzie and Pinky? Come on Cool Hand, help me out here," Lorelai said, rattling off names. She couldn't believe they hadn't picked names for the babies. She had been referring to them as Sweet pea and Spud, even after finding out the sexes.

"We are not naming them after TV characters either," Luke stated, "Or cartoon characters!" Lorelai shut her mouth and smiled.

"I guess I won't know what to call them until I hold them," Lorelai finally conceded. "Can I? Hold them I mean."

"I don't see why not," Nurse Sandy replied. "They're actually doing well, no problems yet. Will you be breast feeding or bottle feeding?"

"Breast feeding," Lorelai answered, peering into the isolet once more.

"Okay, good. Why don't we make you comfortable and see if we can't get Sweet pea and Spud to bond with Mommy," Nurse Sandy said cheerfully. Both Luke and Lorelai laughed.

Luke helped Lorelai into one of the comfortable rocking chairs near the isolet. He placed the blanket on her lap and Nurse Sandy placed a pillow over that, explaining that it would be more comfortable for Lorelai after her c-section. Luke sat next to Lorelai as Nurse Sandy brought two little bundles over, placing one in Luke's arms and one in Lorelai's. She opened the blanket to study her son.

Lorelai touched ten tiny toes and gasped as ten perfect fingers gripped her own, and then one hand sought out the tiny rosebud mouth. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times, then yawned contentedly. Lorelai ran her fingers through the downy soft dark brown fuzz that covered his head. He had her eyes and Luke's mouth. His nose was kind of a toss up, not quite hers and not quite Luke's. Lorelai wrapped her boy up in his blanket again and lifted him so she could kiss his sweet pink cheeks.

"Why don't you try nursing him," Nurse Sandy said, leaning over Lorelai and her son. "Your milk won't come in for a couple of days but newborns benefit from the colostrum or pre milk."

Nurse Sandy showed Lorelai how to prop the baby on the pillow so that it wouldn't aggravate her abdomen. Lorelai had bought nursing nightgowns, so she parted the fabric slit and removed her left breast. She tickled the corner of the baby's mouth with her nipple and he turned toward the breast, pulling the nipple into his tiny mouth. As he began to suck gently, Lorelai stroked his soft cheek with her finger and rubbed his fuzzy head. He made little mewing sounds as he nursed. Lorelai wiped a drop of moisture off his cheek, only then realizing it was her own tears dropping onto her son's cheeks.

Luke had been studying his daughter and was amazed: she looked exactly like Lorelai, same beautiful eyes, cute nose and perfect lips. The only difference was her hair. What little she had was light brown, the way his was as a baby. She squirmed and wriggled in his arms, kicking him with her tiny feet. Luke noted she had Lorelai's feet too and her rambunctious energy. The tiny mini Lorelai screwed up her beautiful face and began to howl her protest at being unwrapped. She flailed her tiny arms, fists ready for battle, and began to cry in earnest.

"Hey Sweet pea," Luke cooed to his baby, "Are you jealous that your brother is getting all Mommy's attention?" Luke lifted his daughter up to kiss her cheeks and she promptly latched onto the tip of his nose, causing him to laugh. "You ARE your mother's daughter after all," he chuckled. "Sorry, I can't help you with that. Mommy's got the food, not me. Uh, Lorelai, wanna switch? Miss no name here is hungry."

"Aw, do I have to part with my little man," Lorelai asked, pouting. "He's so quiet and sweet, aren't you, my little Spud."

"A man of few words," Luke said looking over at his son, who was now sleeping peacefully in his mother's arms.

"Like his Daddy," Lorelai said, kissing her baby tenderly on his forehead.

"You know we can't keep calling them Spud and Sweet pea," Luke said wryly, as he switched babies with his wife.

Lorelai brought her rambunctious baby girl to her right breast and giggled, as the infant greedily latched on and began suckling in earnest.

"That's my girl," Lorelai announced, beaming with pride. "Never turn down an opportunity to eat," she told her nursing daughter. "Although the cow is dry at the moment, so you'll have to deal with it."

"You're not going to name her Lorelai are you," Luke asked.

"What! Again? I'm not loopy this time," Lorelai laughed. "She IS a pistol though," she added and then thought for a moment. "I've got it! Emily Ann, after both our mothers; Emily Ann Gilmore Danes. Gotta keep the family name going. What do you think Emmy?" The infant grunted in response and continued sucking. "See, she likes it."

"Just as long as she doesn't terrorize the maids," Luke chuckled.

"Hey! Mom's had the same maid for a year," Lorelai said. "She's really mellowed out."

Luke ignored Lorelai's last comment. "You son, look like a Michael."

"Hey Mikey! He likes it," Lorelai exclaimed with glee.

"On second thought, no," Luke said shaking his head.

"Matthew," Lorelai announced. "Matthew Lucas Gilmore Danes." Luke smiled.

**A/N: Yay! The twins have names! Please review and let me know what you think. I love reviews! They make me write faster!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here we go! Chapter three is up! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You all totally rock and made this old lady's day! Does happy dance :) In this chapter: Matthew and Emmy meet the grandparents and big sister, and Lorelai recovers from her big day, but not before facing one more hurdle. Relax people, it's not that bad! I actually had to go through it and what the nurse says was true in my case! Makes you want to read and find out huh? Enjoy! Please be my coffee and review! :)**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino.**

**Chapter 3: One step at a time**

Richard and Emily Gilmore stood at the NICU window watching their daughter and son-in law holding two tiny bundles. Emily noticed the look of joy on the daughter's face, as she held her baby to her breast. Luke couldn't stop smiling, as he marveled at the newborn in his arms. Nurse Sandy greeted them at the door and escorted them in to see their new grandchildren. Lorelai and Luke were so caught up in their babies that they didn't notice the elder Gilmores quietly walking over to them.

"Congratulations to the both of you," Emily said, announcing their presence. "How are you feeling Lorelai?"

"Like I've been poked, prodded, kneaded, pummeled from the inside by that creature that burst out of John Hurt's belly in Alien, and then gutted after about 12 hours," Lorelai replied with a chuckle.

"Must you be so graphic? Really Lorelai, a simple 'I'm in pain after a long labor and c-section' would have been sufficient," Emily said rolling her eyes.

"Yes, but it wouldn't have gotten the same reaction," Lorelai stated, smiling. "But yes, now that you mention it, I AM in pain, but the med they gave me is taking the edge off it."

"So can we hold these beautiful babies," Richard inquired, as he and Emily sat next to Lorelai and Luke.

"I might be persuaded to part with this one for a moment, but I don't know about Lorelai," Luke laughed. "Apparently she and her tiny clone are conspiring against us."

"I have to train her early Luke," Lorelai giggled. "See, she already has the pout down pat!" Lorelai placed a squirming Emmy in her grandmother's arms. "Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Emily Ann Gilmore Danes."

"Oh!" Emily gasped and stared at the infant in her arms. Her eyes filled with tears, and she didn't try to contain them as they slid down her cheeks. She was so moved that Lorelai would name her daughter after her. She touched the baby's downy hair and stroked her cheek. Emmy reached up and grabbed one of her grandmother's fingers.

"She's beautiful Lorelai," Emily said softly. "I can't believe how much she looks like you as an infant. She's a carbon copy. I feel like I'm holding you all over again."

"Except that Emmy doesn't have a big head," Lorelai said, smirking.

"All babies have big heads Lorelai," Emily retorted. "I'm sorry that you can't let that incident go. It was so long ago. Yes, I said things to you that I will always regret and I'm sorry. You needn't bring it up at every opportunity. I have enough guilt of my own."

"You're right Mom," Lorelai soothed, seeing her mother's obvious discomfort at her lame joke. "Let's leave the past in the past and focus on right now. Unlike Rory, who looked like one of the Coneheads from Saturday Night Live at birth, Emmy and Matthew have perfect shaped heads. At least there's one plus for having a c-section!"

"Hey! I heard that," a voice called out from across the room.

"Hey hon," Lorelai said, greeting her eldest daughter. "You're still Mommy's favorite Conehead! Come meet your baby brother and sister. This is Emily Ann Gilmore Danes, and that sleeping bundle is Matthew Lucas Gilmore Danes."

"Wow! She looks just like you Mom," Rory marveled, as she studied the newborn.

"That is the consensus," Lorelai stated.

"Except she doesn't have your huge head," Rory added, smiling.

"Oh, good god," Emily groaned shaking her head. Lorelai just laughed. "Like mother, like daughter. I swear you encourage her in her sarcasm," Emily snapped.

"Well she IS my daughter," Lorelai announced, beaming with pride at Rory. "Hug the mommy," Lorelai said, putting her arms out to Rory, who in turn gave her a big embrace.

"How are you feeling," Rory asked, as she rubbed her new sister's fuzz covered head.

"Do not launch into the disturbing analogy you so gleefully recounted to your mother and I when we arrived," Richard warned his daughter, when he spotted a wicked gleam in her eye.

"Aw, come on Dad," Lorelai smiled, "that was some of my best stuff."

"The alien bursting out of John Hurt's stomach bit," Rory inquired with a smile.

"You go through not one, but TWO, fetal versions and 12 hours of labor only to have a c-section anyway, and tell me if you'd feel differently," Lorelai retorted with a pout.

"Poor Mom," Rory said, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. "Well, the worst is over now and you have these two great babies to show for it."

"That's what I keep telling her," Luke added, putting an arm around Lorelai's shoulder and leaning over to kiss her tenderly on the lips.

Lorelai leaned into the warmth of Luke's embrace and sighed. It really had been a rough twenty-four hours, and she was so exhausted she felt she could sleep for a week, but seeing those two tiny bundles being given such loving attention from their grandparents was worth it. She had been sitting with the babies for several hours and was beginning to feel tired. She just didn't want to leave them in the NICU. After visiting with her parents and Rory, she began to feel sleepy and closed her eyes.

Luke noticed that Lorelai was asleep in the rocker and he motioned the guests aside. Everyone agreed that Lorelai needed as much sleep as she could get while in the hospital, because that would be a luxury when she came home. They said their goodbyes, kissing a sleeping Lorelai on the cheek without waking her, and left to catch some rest themselves. Luke brought the wheelchair over next to the rocker and locked the brakes. He gently shook Lorelai until she opened her eyes. She gave him a glassy stare, yawned and then groaned. The pain was back with a vengeance.

Luke moved the IV pole to the side and, as delicately as he could, helped Lorelai up from the rocker and into the wheelchair. She couldn't even stand upright and leaned over, holding her lower abdomen until Luke helped her to sit. He covered her with the blanket and brought Emmy and Matthew over so she could kiss them. He placed the sleeping twins back in the isolet and wheeled Lorelai back to her room. She grimaced and moaned softly, biting her lower lip, as the cramping returned full force.

When they reached the room, Lorelai's face was flushed and she was sweating. A nurse noticed and came to take Lorelai's temperature.

"Mrs. Danes, you're running a fever," the nurse announced. "It's actually not that uncommon. I'd like you to walk around. Believe it or not, it actually helps lower the fever."

"I can't," Lorelai groaned. "It hurts too much."

"Yeah, really, what good is putting her in more pain gonna do," Luke interjected gruffly.

"I'll bring your wife something for the pain," the nurse stated, "but it really will lower the fever having her take a short walk around the halls."

"Let's just get it over with," Lorelai groaned. "I'm tired and hungry."

"Dinner will be arriving shortly," the nurse stated. "I'll be back with some percocet for the pain."

"Luke, help me up," Lorelai said softly.

"You're not really gonna walk around," Luke barked in disbelief. "You just had major surgery!"

Lorelai sighed. "Please, let's just get this over with."

Luke rubbed his scruffy jaw. He was just as exhausted as Lorelai, but if she were willing to walk, then he would suck it up and be there for her. "Okay, but I'm staying right beside you," Luke said. "I don't want you falling over."

He locked the brakes on the wheelchair and put up the foot rests so Lorelai could place her bunny slipper-clad feet onto the floor. After removing the blanket, Luke wrapped his arms around Lorelai's back and gently pulled her to a standing position. She grunted and groaned, holding on to him. He could feel her body trembling from pain and fatigue, her beautiful features contorted with silent signs of that pain. She panted through the stabbing pain in her abdomen, unable to stand fully erect. With one hand, Lorelai held onto the IV pole, while the other hand put gentle pressure on her bandaged abdomen.

Luke walked beside his wife as she very slowly walked down the hall, her face wearing a look of determination, the pain evident in her glistening eyes. One step at a time, Lorelai made her way down the corridor. Luke kept his arm around her waist as they walked. It broke his heart to see her bent over, taking slow shuffling steps like a frail elderly woman, in her ridiculous bunny slippers. Knowing Lorelai for as long as he had, made Luke aware of her every nuance. He noticed now how her chin trembled slightly, her breath catching as she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

"Lorelai, are you okay," he inquired when she stopped halfway down the maternity ward corridor. "You don't have to continue. We can just turn around and go back to the room."

"It just…hurts," Lorelai whispered, as two fat tears slid down her cheeks. She tried to hold it back, but she was exhausted, and apparently still hormonal.

"Let's get you to bed," Luke replied, brushing the tears from Lorelai's face.

"Hey! Not so fast sailor! That's what got me in this mess in the first place," Lorelai chuckled, sniffling back her tears.

"Come on, Crazy Lady," Luke said laughing. "Maybe they'll bring you some chocolate pudding for dinner."

"Mmm… pudding. Now THAT would take my mind off my agony," Lorelai sighed, giving Luke a watery smile.

"You'll have some dinner, some nice pain meds and sleep, so I can go home and catch some much needed rest myself," Luke said, helping Lorelai back down the hall.

"You're not staying with me tonight," a surprised Lorelai asked. "But I need you here."

You'll be fine," Luke stated. "Besides, husbands are not included in the 'rooming in' perk, only newborns."

"Not fair," Lorelai whined, pout fully in place. "I need to snuggle with my hubby. It's hard enough dealing with the fact that I can't keep the twins with me tonight."

"Come on," Luke soothed, sensing another meltdown coming. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

"Okay, but you're climbing in bed with me and I won't take no for an answer," Lorelai said as she slowly made her way back to her room.

Once in her room, Lorelai walked over to the bed. Luke pulled back the covers and lifted the head up to a sitting position. Lorelai sat on the edge and slid back onto the mattress with a groan. She turned her body and brought her legs up. The effort caused her to cry out in pain. Luke removed her slippers and began to rub her swollen feet. He looked up and noticed Lorelai wiping at her tear stained face.

Luke hated seeing his wife in so much pain. Lorelai was trying to be so strong, but it was getting harder to keep it together. Where was the nurse with her pain med? Luke climbed up on the bed next to Lorelai and she leaned against him, moaning softly and sniffling back her tears. The nurse finally arrived with the percocet and Lorelai's dinner. Lorelai took the pill and swallowed it with the water on her tray as the nurse set up her tray table.

"What is this," Lorelai said turning her nose up at the plate in front of her. "This isn't food! Even I can make food that looks better that this!"

Luke had to agree: the contents of the plate looked pretty unappetizing. "Can you wait a bit longer to eat," he asked Lorelai.

"Are you going to get me some REAL food? Cause I can wait for that," Lorelai replied hopefully.

"Well I sure as hell am not eating that crap," Luke said. "I'll go out and get us some real food and then we can eat together. So, can you hold off a while longer? I know how you Gilmore women need to eat regularly or you get really cranky."

"What!? I never get cranky! I'm always an angel! How can you say that I get cranky if I don't eat! I just can't eat THIS. It looks like someone else already did and didn't like it! I'm not cranky, just hungry," Lorelai ranted.

"I rest my case," Luke stated. They gazed at each other for a moment and Luke smiled. Lorelai caught on and a wide grin spread across her face. They both burst out laughing.

"Ooh! Stop! Laughing hurts," Lorelai gasped, grabbing her abdomen. "Start running Burger Boy. And make it hot, greasy and nutrient free. This new mommy is gonna need all the energy she can get."

"Your eating habits still repulse me," Luke grunted, making a disgusted face. "I'll be back," he added, leaning over to kiss her tenderly on the lips. "Have I told you how beautiful you look and how happy I am to be a new dad?"

"Really? Even though I nearly ripped the flesh off your arms and screamed enough obscenities to make a sailor blush?"

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't make your feelings known as dramatically as possible," Luke said smiling. "I'll be back. You rest up. You're gonna need your strength to consume the intestine clogging meal you requested."

Lorelai leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes. The pain was beginning to subside and she was finally able to relax. What a day it had been! She smiled, thinking about Luke bonding with his new son and daughter. He had always avoided interaction with babies, never really liked them and their jam hands and unpleasant bodily functions. Yet when she saw him with his infant niece Doula, she knew that something had definitely changed. Now seeing his awe in his babies both astounded and moved her. He was so gentle and loving with them. Lorelai smiled softly then yawned and dozed off.

The aroma of cheeseburger permeated Lorelai's dreams, causing her to inhale the delightful scent deeply. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times to clear her vision. Before her stood her knight in blue flannel, a bag of sustenance for her, and a grin spread across his face. She pushed the button to raise the head on the bed as high as it would go. Luke set the feast out on the tray table and slid it over her lap. He then toed off his boots and climbed up on the bed next to her, giving her a kiss.

"You brought me cheeseburgers and fries," Lorelai cooed with adoration for her Burger Boy.

"And onion rings and a large chocolate shake," Luke added, opening the salad he picked out for himself. "If you're not too full afterwards, there's pie for dessert."

"Pie! Luke will you marry me?" Lorelai laughed and took a huge bite out of her burger.

"Already did," Luke stated, smiling as she wolfed down her meal, while making happy moans of hunger fulfillment. "You're gonna throw up if you don't slow down," he warned.

" Are you kidding? This is the first meal I've had since breakfast YESTERDAY," Lorelai mumbled with a mouth full of food. "I've been too nauseous to eat anything until now, so let me enjoy it. Mmm… so good."

"I swear your stomach is lined with cast iron," Luke marveled, shaking his head. He stabbed another forkful of grilled chicken salad, chasing it with a swig of water from the bottle sitting next to Lorelai's shake.

Lorelai belched, then giggled. "Excuse me. Man I can't wait to go home and eat your cooking again! You have me spoiled."

"No, I have you eating real food and not that crap that's full of chemicals, that rots your insides," Luke reiterated calmly. "If you are going to nurse, you're going to have to eat better. Remember, everything you eat passes on to the babies through your breast milk."

"Look who's been reading baby books," Lorelai retorted. "Look, I cut down on my junk food, and I'm even eating those horrid green things, but I draw the line at coffee restriction! I need my caffeine to function!"

"You can have your precious coffee," Luke said, "just not so much of it. One cup of leaded is all that your system can handle before affecting you."

"So one giant cup," Lorelai asked hopefully.

"No, one normal mug size," Luke stated, ignoring Lorelai's pouting. "When you stop nursing, you can have more."

"Maybe I shouldn't start," Lorelai mumbled, frowning.

"Do it for Matthew and Emmy," Luke said, playing her heartstrings like a virtuoso.

"Okay," Lorelai conceded. "But don't expect me to like it!"

After they finished eating and Luke had cleared away the trash, he settled back on the bed, taking Lorelai in his arms. She sighed as she leaned against him. He stroked her hair and rubbed her arm. She gazed up at him, her eyes glassy from fatigue, the redness and bags under her eyes evidence of her ordeal. He knew he had to be a sight as well, having not slept much himself in two days. All he wanted to do was go home, take a hot shower and crawl into bed.

"Have I told YOU just how happy I am to be a new mom," Lorelai asked softly.

"Never would've guessed," Luke snorted, giving her a blazing smile.

"I know I've been a handful today…" Lorelai began.

"To say the least," Luke interrupted.

"But I want you to know, that I couldn't have done this without you Luke," Lorelai murmured, rubbing his flannel-covered chest.

"Yeah, well, you almost had to," Luke said sheepishly. "I almost passed out more than once."

"Well, I know how you are with bodily fluids and hospitals in general," Lorelai stated, kissing his scruffy cheek. "It just makes what you did even more incredible."

"It was probably the most disgusting, yet beautiful, experience I've ever had," Luke chuckled.

"And I don't want you to ever forget it," Lorelai whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "I need you to always remember it, because I missed it. I need to experience it through your eyes."

"I will recount the full experience, in all its disgusting detail, whenever you want," Luke promised. "As gross as parts of the birth experience was, for you, I'd go through it again." He pressed a soft kiss to her temple. She turned and sweetly kissed his lips.

"That's okay. I think I'm good with these two for a while," Lorelai said. She paused a moment, then added, "You'd really have more kids with me?"

"If these two don't drive us to the nut house, yeah I'd consider it," Luke chuckled. "Wouldn't you?"

"Well considering the 'nut house' according to you is Stars Hollow, then we're already there," Lorelai giggled. "Let's see how we do with Matthew and Emmy first, cause I have a feeling that if Emmy has my personality we're in for trouble."

"So that's why your mother was gloating," Luke said

"Hello! Prophesy fulfilled! I've been hearing since I was ten: 'Lorelai, I hope to god that one day you have a child who acts just like you'. Well, I figured that since Rory turned out okay, I was free of the curse, but no!" Lorelai sighed and shook her head. "I have a feeling I'll be apologizing profusely to my parents for the next eighteen or so years!"

"Well I wouldn't worry about that now," Luke soothed, giving her a hug.

"Yeah, maybe it won't happen," Lorelai mused. She stifled a yawn and rubbed her eyes.

"And if it does, I will lock her in her bedroom till she twenty-one," Luke smirked.

"Yeah, but if Emmy's anything like me, she'll know all the ways to escape," Lorelai said smiling. She was falling into a cozy relaxed state and fought to keep her eyes open.

"Then Mr. Baseball bat and I will have a nice chat with all her prospective boyfriends," Luke declared. He could tell Lorelai was fading fast by her even breathing.

"You're gonna be such a great dad," Lorelai sighed as she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

**So what do you think? Press the pretty purple button and make my day! Reviews make me write faster. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been really distracted with trying to find a place to live in the next couple of weeks. My daughter is coming home, after being in a residential facility for two years, and I need to find a place for us to live. The next chapter probably will take a while to write as well, but rest assured, I won't give up on my story. Once I move and things settle down, I'll have more time to write. Thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. Reviews are really encouraging, so please keep them coming. They really keep my spirits up during this hectic time of moving. Have a great day and Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. Gilmore Girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino. This story is for entertainment purposes only.**

**Chapter 4: Coming home**

Rory awoke early knowing today was going to be a busy day. Her mother was coming home with the twins today. After spending four days in the hospital, Lorelai was ready to come home and Rory was planning the big welcome home party. Both Matthew and Emmy were doing well, and now the entire town of Stars Hollow was ready to meet them.

Rory yawned and sighed, as she turned to snuggle up to Logan. His warm body offered a comforting retreat for her already spinning thoughts. To do lists cluttered Rory's waking thoughts, making it impossible to enjoy the moment with her husband. She tried to halt the cacophony in her head by reveling in the feel of Logan's arms around her, and the deep even breaths coming from the still sleeping form next to her. She dozed off again, content in the serenity the early hour brought.

"Morning Ace," Logan muttered, brushing a lock of hair from Rory's face. He kissed her softly on the lips, as he stroked her cheek to rouse her from her slumber. She sighed and opened her eyes, blinking a few times to clear her vision. She loved waking up like this; all warm and cozy, her hubby by her side. Rory yawned and stretched, then wrapped her arms around Logan, returning the kiss.

"I'm not running late, am I," Rory inquired, trying to catch a glimpse of the clock on the nightstand.

"I think you're good," Logan replied, sitting up. He yawned and ran his fingers through his tousled blond hair. "I'll go put on a pot of coffee while you take your bath."

"You gonna bring some to me," Rory asked as she sat up and threw off the covers.

"Maybe," Logan replied with a smirk.

"What's the look for," Rory asked, as she swung her legs off the side of the bed.

"Nothing Ace," Logan said, shaking his head and smiling. "I'll set you up with a travel mug so that you don't end up with a coffee bath. I'm sure your mother might enjoy the aroma of her coffee bathed daughter, but I prefer you a bit less caffeine smelling. I do like that new body lotion you bought though."

"Well, maybe you can help apply it in places I can't reach," Rory said smiling, as she fitted her legs into her prosthetics. Once the limbs were secure, she stood up and headed for her closet to pick out something to wear.

"Are you flirting with me Mrs. Huntzberger," Logan inquired with a wicked grin. "Cause I've gotta tell you, if you keep it up, you'll never get in that bath."

"Look who's keeping it up," Rory giggled, as Logan grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into a crushing embrace.

"What can I say," Logan retorted. "I've got the hottest wife around."

"I'd love to continue this topic, but if I don't get in the bath, I'm going to be late," Rory stated, pulling away from Logan. "And if I'm late, Babette and Miss Patty will be setting up for the homecoming party, and I don't even want to think about the outcome of that. I'm still having nightmares about the x-rated bachelorette party they threw me!"

"Please! Honor is still talking about it! I think she's jealous cause your mom has the strangest and coolest assortment of friends," Logan said laughing, as he remembered his sister's explicit recounting of the event.

"Although it was cool to see my grandmother turning five shades of red, it was still kind of embarrassing," Rory said, blushing slightly at the memory.

"We will continue this discussion tonight though," Logan said with a wag of his eyebrows.

"Most definitely," Rory replied, giving him a sweet kiss. "I'll be waiting for that coffee mister."

"I'm on it," Logan said as he headed into the kitchen.

Rory headed into the bathroom and turn on the faucet in the tub. After adjusting the water temperature and adding some bubble bath, she undressed. The last items she removed were her prosthetics. She sat on the edge of the tub to remove them and carefully placed them against the wall. She then turned her body toward the tub and slid into the warm water. Before the car accident, Rory used to hate small tubs that wouldn't accommodate her body length for proper soaking. Now she smiled and shook her head at that thought. Having her legs amputated at mid thigh meant she didn't have to worry about the size of the bathtub anymore.

It used to really bother her, having no lower legs, but after the battle Rory went through, she felt so happy just to be alive. She fought hard to regain use of her voice, her muscles, to be able to express herself, and repair from the spinal cord injury that nearly left her permanently paralyzed. Every day brought new challenges and Rory faced them gladly. She had the love and support of her family and Logan and that made all the painful rehabilitation worth it. She may have lost her lower legs, but Rory regained the full use of the rest of her body.

After washing her hair and rinsing it, Rory leaned back against the bath pillow and giggled. Memories of that now infamous bachelorette party filled her head, prompted by Logan's earlier remarks.

_Rory was opening the gag gifts her family and friends ceremoniously piled on the table in the center of Miss Patty's dance studio. Patty had arranged for the gathering to be held there since she had plenty of room to accommodate everyone. She even locked the doors, once the guests had arrived, so no uninvited crashers, meaning Kirk, could enter. The atmosphere was in full party mode, with loud music and enough food to feed an army. Patty even made her famous punch._

"_What is this," Rory exclaimed, holding up a freshly unwrapped gift. "Omigod! No! Patty!" Squeals and laughter erupted from the partiers._

"_What? It has five speeds, comes in four different colors and has six different attachments," Patty announced proudly._

"_What the hell is that Patty," Babette screeched. "It looks like somethin' you attach to a boat to make it go! Jeez, if I whipped one of those out on Morey, he'd have a heart attack," Babette exclaimed, breaking into fits of laughter._

"_I'll bet Logan has a blast experimenting on you with that thing," Honor said, laughing._

"_Wait! Here Doll, you have to wear this when you use that," Babette said handing Rory a small box. Rory opened it to find a couple of scraps of practically see through material, held together by a few ribbons of lace._

"_Oh, wow, um thanks Babette," Rory said, blushing._

"_Here hon," Lorelai said, handing Rory her gift. "To help you keep your strength up on the wedding night." Rory opened the box and pulled out an assortment of edible underwear, a candy g-string, presumably for Logan to wear, assorted flavors of massage lotion, a few bags of x-rated gummy candies and a huge lollypop shaped like a certain part of the male anatomy._

"_Lorelai! Are you insane," Emily gasped. "You are giving your child pornographic edible items!" Emily turned bright red at the gifts her beloved granddaughter was receiving._

"_Tasty pornographic edible treats Mom," Lorelai corrected giggling. "Besides, Rory's not a child any more."_

Logan could hear laughter coming from the bathroom as he opened the door to hand Rory her coffee. She was lounging against the back of the tub, her eyes closed, and she was giggling. He sat on the edge of the tub and ran his fingers through her wet hair, startling her. She jumped and opened her eyes.

"You okay Ace," Logan asked, smiling. He handed Rory the travel mug and Rory took a sip.

"Yeah," Rory replied, smiling. "I've definitely got to get to Mom and Luke's before Patty and Babette do, or there will be penis shaped pacifiers attached to the gifts, and boob shaped nipples for the bottles. I don't trust them, especial Miss Patty."

"Yeah, she still pinches my ass every time she sees me," Logan chuckled.

"Poor Luke has had to put up with it for far longer," Rory said sympathetically.

"Well, Pruney, you'd better get out of the tub and get going," Logan said, "or your mom and Luke will be there before you."

"You ARE gonna help me with the lotion, aren't you," Rory inquired with a playful grin.

"Well, we can always do damage control when we get there, so there are no inappropriate decorations," Logan smirked, as he helped Rory out of the tub.

"Are you gonna help me set up," Rory asked, surprised.

"Sure, why not," Logan replied. "If Patty is too busy groping me, you'll be able to get more accomplished."

"Ah, nice plan Huntzberger, taking one for the cause," Rory stated, with mock seriousness.

"So you didn't just marry me for my good looks," Logan chuckled.

"Oh I did," Rory said smiling. "The intelligence is a nice bonus."

"I'll give you a nice bonus," Logan teased. He pulled Rory in close and kissed her passionately.

"Definitely gonna be late now," Rory panted softly, as Logan cupped her face.

"Less work for us," Logan whispered. He pulled Rory in for a deeper kiss, as his hands began to explore her body.

"Would you like that lotion now," Rory asked breathlessly, as Logan released her towel, letting it drop to the floor.

Lorelai sat up in bed, propped up by pillows, an infant on each breast. She knew she should enjoy it now because it wouldn't be long before nursing both babies at once would be out of the question. She held each baby like a football, their little heads up against each other, their bodies tucked under her arms, as they each lay on a pillow. Lorelai's abdomen was still very tender so she had to be very careful where she placed them. She stroked their fuzzy heads as they nursed.

Even though they were only four days old, Matthew and Emmy had very different personalities. Lorelai stroked Matthew's soft pink cheek, as he suckled on her right breast. He was quiet, yet observant. He noticed everything around him with those big blue eyes of his. He rarely cried, but would frown and make little squeaking noises, his lower lip trembling. Emmy was quite different. She not only observed everything, but had to be a part of it too. She voiced her needs loudly, with wailings worthy of a future drama queen. Lorelai giggled, as Emmy scrunched her tiny face and grunted while pushing Lorelai's breast with her little fist.

"Hey, baby girl," Lorelai cooed, rubbing Emmy's back. "You know squashing the boob isn't gonna make the breakfast come any faster." Emmy released her nipple with a pop and let out a hefty belch, causing Lorelai to laugh harder. Emmy seemed surprised at the sound that came from her own mouth. She blinked, hiccupped and latched onto her mother's breast again.

Luke entered just in time to hear his daughter belch. "I see breakfast is to your liking, huh Emmy," he chuckled, bending down to kiss his baby girl on the top of her head.

"She has the Gilmore appetite, that's for sure," Lorelai giggled. "That was the first time she came up for air! Apparently, she thinks I'm a cow. She's been trying to milk me with her tiny fist, and she's got some strength for such a tiny baby."

"And how's my little spud doing," Luke said, rubbing a now sleeping Matthew's head gently.

"He's an angel, just like his Daddy," Lorelai purred, tipping her head up to kiss Luke.

"Come here son," Luke grunted, taking Matthew into his arms. "How about we do some male bonding, while I get you dressed for your big day. Mommy doesn't think I can do this, but we know better, don't we? I promise not to make you wear that ridiculously cute outfit your grandparents bought you."

"Daddy's funny," Lorelai cooed to Emmy. "He thinks Grandma and Grandpa won't notice that you guys aren't wearing the designer baby duds they bought you. He wants to hear Grandma give him a ten-minute lecture on the proper etiquette of receiving gifts. Mommy has already heard that lecture a million times and can recite it by heart. He also forgets that I helped pick out those ridiculously cute outfits you're going to wear home."

"You know, it's not like she understands a word you're saying," Luke grumbled, laying Matthew in the isolet. He opened his eyes and yawned, stretching his arms above his head. "Okay Matthew, here's the deal. You wear the cutesy outfit today to please your mom and grandparents, but after that it's jeans and t-shirts for you buddy."

"Does he get his own tiny plaid flannel shirt too," Lorelai asked giggling. "Ooh! How about his own backwards baseball cap?"

Luke ignored Lorelai's ribbing, and instead focused on changing his son's diaper. He was still getting the hang of it. He opened the tabs on the diaper with care so as not to disturb the stump of umbilical cord that had to be cleaned as well. When he lowered the front of the diaper he gagged and turned away as Lorelai burst out laughing. Now that Lorelai's milk had come in, the twins were finally getting nourishment, and Luke was greeted by his first byproduct of that nourishment.

"Jeez! What the hell is that," Luke exclaimed, gagging.

"Matthew's first present for Daddy," Lorelai said, laughing.

"It's like tar! That's disgusting," Luke grunted, holding his nose. "It's black! That can't be normal."

"Hon, it's very normal," Lorelai replied, smiling. "Don't feel bad. I had the same reaction with Rory. The first poop is called meconium and it's tarry like that cause it's the lining of a newborn intestinal tract. Don't worry. It will be normal pretty quick."

"Man that's a lot of crap," Luke uttered as he began to wipe Matthew's bottom.

"Oh come on," Lorelai, said rolling her eyes. "You have a niece! Don't tell me you've never changed her diaper."

"Uh, no! I left that disgusting task to her mother," Luke muttered, as he finished wiping Matthew. "Whoa! Jeez buddy, you're really trying to get the old man," Luke exclaimed as Matthew let loose a stream of urine. Luke jumped back, covering the boy with the diaper.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that you have to keep him covered while you change him," Lorelai announced, laughing as Luke checked his shirt for collateral damage.

"I should've known," Luke grumbled, fastening the tabs on a new diaper.

"You so remind me of Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom," Lorelai teased, laughing.

"Stop," Luke growled. "Give me a break will ya? I'm new to this and your laughing at me isn't helping."

"You wanted to be a hands on dad," Lorelai reminded him. "It gets easier. Until you have the projectile spit up, explosive poops, diaper rash, colic, and other fun aspects of new parenthood."

"I can do this," Luke said gently to Matthew. He put antibiotic ointment on the umbilical stump, just as the nurse instructed. Matthew frowned and squeaked out his displeasure at being dressed. He flailed his tiny arms and legs, as Luke struggled to dress him. Once he was completely dressed in his two-piece outfit with matching booties, he settled down and looked around with big blue eyes.

Lorelai carefully eased herself out of bed, taking care not to pull on her bandage. She shuffled slowly over to the other isolet with Emmy on her shoulder. Luke watched as Lorelai expertly changed Emmy's diaper, completely unfazed by the tarry surprise it contained. He watched her dress Emmy in the tiny pink ruffled dress with matching pink frilly socks and crib shoes. Emmy was even less thrilled with being dressed than her brother and howled her protests loudly. Lorelai kissed her pink cheeks and sang softly to her and Emmy settled down. Luke couldn't help but smile at the sight. Lorelai was in full Mommy mode.

Once Lorelai had showered and dressed, Luke grabbed her bags and took them down to the car. Lorelai refused to part with her beloved Jeep, which she finally decided needed a name because that's why it kept breaking down: it was angry at not being named like everything else in her life. So Betty was relegated to the back of the driveway to make room for Barney, the new SUV, which would accommodate them, two car seats and tons of baby necessities. Luke loaded everything into the back of Barney and went back to retrieve Lorelai and the babies. They were finally going home.

When the checkout was completed, Luke assisted Lorelai into a wheelchair and gently placed a baby in each of her arms. He looked down at the two tiny bundles nestled in their mother's arms with such love. Lorelai, sensing his presence, looked up at him, her face beaming with joy. Luke smiled at her, understanding her unspoken message. This was the completion of her whole package, the life she'd been dreaming of. These two sleeping babies in her arms, the product of their love for each other, made their life together complete. They were now joined in body and soul, and would live on in the next generation.

Lorelai was tired. All she wanted to do was go home and climb into bed, but she knew that half the town would be gathered in her house awaiting her, and the twins, arrivals. Sure enough, as they pulled into the driveway, they were greeted by two huge cardboard storks, each with a baby bundle hanging in its mouth. On each bundle was the name, date of birth, weight and length of each baby. Pink balloons were attached to one stork and blue to the other.

"So much for a nice quiet homecoming huh," Lorelai sighed tiredly, as she turned to face Luke.

"Not in THIS town," Luke grumbled, turning off the ignition and unbuckling his seatbelt. "Those nut jobs have probably violated some fire code by cramming a hundred people in our living room."

"Luke, hon, have you never been to any of the parties I've thrown here," Lorelai asked, grinning. "It'll be fine. They just want to see the babies and welcome me home. There will be no wild shenanigans, or they will have to deal with the wrath of one hormonal new mommy. Did I just say 'shenanigans'?"

"I believe you did," Luke said smirking as Lorelai giggled. "Fine. They can congratulate us and see the babies, but no one handles them except immediate family. They spent two days in the NICU. I don't want them getting sick."

"Darn! I was gonna have Kirk baby-sit so we could hit the town one night," Lorelai said, a wicked gleam in her eye.

"Over my dead body," Luke growled, the vein visible in his forehead. Lorelai burst out laughing at his agitation. "Stop! You know you're not funny sometimes," Luke snapped.

"Like I'd let Kirk watch the babies," Lorelai exclaimed. "Please! The man still lives with his mother! Not to mention, I think he really traumatized Paul Anka when I put him in Kirk's Doggy Day Care that one time. Poor Paul Anka! He's probably hiding in our bedroom closet right now!"

"You ready," Luke asked as he helped her out of the car. "If this party gets to be too much, I'm kicking everyone out. You're already tired and you look like you're in pain."

"I just need to eat something and take a percocet and I'll be fine," Lorelai stated, wincing as she climbed down from the seat of the SUV.

"Mom! Hey, you're home," Rory exclaimed as she walked over to her mother and gave her a huge hug.

"Easy, sweets, I'm kind of sore right now," Lorelai groaned, as she kissed her daughter on the cheek. "Hey Logan," She said, smiling at her son-in-law.

"Rory, why don't you help your mom in the house, while I help Luke bring in all the bags," Logan said to Rory.

"I'll take these two," Luke said, gesturing to the two baby carriers on each hand, "while you get the other bags."

Lorelai couldn't help but smile, despite the increasing soreness from her c-section, at the sight of Luke standing there, a diaper bag slung on each shoulder and a baby on each arm. He grinned back at her as he motioned for them to head into the house. Lorelai walked slowly, her arm linked in Rory's. Who'd have thought she'd be leaning on her daughter for support, when only two years ago Rory was in a coma with life threatening injuries. Lorelai wasn't sure Rory would live, let alone ever be able to stand or walk again.

When they opened the door, they were greeted by a house full of friends and neighbors. Richard and Emily were the first to greet them, each taking a baby from Luke. Lorelai was surprised that it wasn't the ruckus gathering she had expected. Music was playing softly. Sookie had filled the kitchen with a buffet of food and drinks. Everyone was sitting enjoying themselves. The decorations were abundant and a table was piled high with gifts for Matthew and Emmy.

"It's very low keyed," Lorelai whispered to Rory. "Your doing?"

"Of course," Rory replied. "I didn't want you or my new brother and sister to be overwhelmed when you first got home. You wouldn't believe how Babette and Miss Patty had this place set up when Logan and I got here. I'll tell you later."

"Spill," Lorelai ordered, pulling Rory next to her on the couch.

Luke kept a careful watch on Matthew and Emmy, making sure Patty and Babette weren't suffocating them with kisses. Everyone wanted to see them and he made sure they could look but no touching. He glanced over at Rory and Lorelai, who were deep in conversation. Lorelai suddenly let out a belly laugh and doubled over in hysterics with Rory following suit. He loved to see her laugh. Despite her pain, Lorelai really seemed to be enjoying herself.

When the party was over, the house cleaned and the guests thanked and sent home, Luke shut all the lights and headed upstairs. Lorelai was already dressed for bed and was sitting in bed, nursing Emmy. Matthew was asleep in his bassinette next to the bed. Luke kissed his son and tucked his blanket around him. After undressing, Luke climbed into bed next to Lorelai. She looked exhausted but happy as Emmy fell asleep at her breast.

"It was a good day wasn't it," Luke whispered, kissing Lorelai sweetly.

"It was a very good day," Lorelai whispered. "I'm so glad to be home."

**I hope everyone liked this. Please review and make my day a happy one. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the wait! At least it wasn't a month this time! Lol! Still really busy with life, but I promise not to forget this story. I hope you can all follow it, since it goes back and forth on the time line. Please review! It's very encouraging to me and gives me incentive to write faster. In this chapter, we'll get to know the twins better as it begins to set up for the present day story line. I still have some more chapters to write leading up to it, but they'll be eventful. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Baby Matthew and Baby Emmy give you all drooly smiles and giggles! :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the characters I create. All others belong to AS-P! This story is for entertainment purposes only.**

**Chapter 5: Smiles**

Lorelai stood in the doorway, enveloped in Luke's arms. She loved the warmth and security he provided. She leaned her head back against his shoulder, as he turned and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. She could feel him behind her, gazing at the same scene she was, the sight of their children rocking together on the floor. Matthew and Emmy sat side by side, rocking in tandem.

Lorelai was still overcome by Matthew's first deliberate eye contact, the first real hope she felt in a long time. She wanted so much to believe it wasn't a fluke; that Matthew really was reaching out to them. She watched him staring into space again, his blue eyes focused on nothing in particular. Emmy rocked with him; enjoying the game and the attention it brought her as well. She giggled and waved at her mother.

"Look, Mommy! Look Daddy," Emmy called out. "See, I can help with Matty. He likes me to rock with him."

"You're doing a great job, Sweetpea," Lorelai said, giving her little girl a tender smile. "Just remember not to touch him. He doesn't like it."

"If he bites me again, can I bite him back," Emmy asked. Her furrowed brow and pout was a carbon copy of her mother's.

"Emmy, you will not bite your brother, no matter how many times he bites you," Luke sternly stated. "He doesn't know any better. He can't tell us when something is bothering him."

"But Daddy, it hurts when he bites or hits me," Emmy whined, getting up from the floor. She came over to her parents and wrapped her arms around her mother's legs. "Why can't Matty play with me? I play his games all the time. He won't share either."

"Well, you're not great at sharing yourself missy," Lorelai stated, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "Matthew doesn't know how to play."

"I can teach him," Emmy said excitedly. "Rory says I'm really smart! I can teach Matty to play, if he'll let me."

Lorelai didn't know how to respond to her little girl. How do you tell a four year old, even a super smart one, that her brother is different? How do you explain autism to a child? Lorelai looked down at Emmy's innocent face and was moved by the eagerness she saw. Her little girl wanted so much to connect with her twin, to help him any way she could, that she was willing to endure Matthew's physical aggressions. Lorelai reached down and picked Emmy up, cradling her to her in a huge hug.

"Sweetpea, you are one special kid, you know that," Lorelai asked her daughter. "You are so smart and you're right: I think we should all teach Matty to play." She covered Emmy's face with kisses, causing the child to break out in a fit of giggles.

"Daddy won't play," Emmy teased, looking at her father. "He doesn't like to play like Matty does."

"Says who," Luke gasped, grabbing his daughter from Lorelai and tossing her in the air. "Daddy will do whatever it takes to help Matthew, even if I have to sit on the floor and rock until my butt falls asleep." Emmy laughed harder as Luke caught her.

"Daddy, you're silly," she said, bringing a small hand up to stroke her father's scruffy cheek. Luke kissed Emmy's fingers, as she rubbed his cheeks, and he tousled the light brown curls that fell over her shoulders.

Lorelai had moved away from the pair to watch Matthew. Sometimes it really broke her heart to see her little girl laughing and playing, so full of life, while her boy was lost in his own solitary world. She didn't want Emmy to see the tears she was rapidly blinking back. While Emmy was very outgoing and could be a handful, she was also very sensitive, especially in the last couple of years. Lorelai wanted Emmy to enjoy the joyful moment with her daddy, not worry over her mommy's tears.

Lorelai sat down on the couch, never taking her eyes off Matthew. Even as Luke was tickling Emmy and Emmy was squealing in delight, Matthew showed not the slightest bit of interest. It was as though they weren't even there. Matthew had stopped waggling the spoon in his fingers and tossed it on the floor. He stood up and began to pace the floor in circles, making random sounds.

"Um ma un na, um ma un na, um ma un na," Matthew repeated over and over like a mantra, as he paced around the room, swaying side to side. "Ee oh, ee oh, ee oh, ee oh," Matthew chanted to no one in particular.

Lorelai could hear the soft crinkling sound of his diaper as he walked in circles. Emmy was completely toilet trained for over a year, but Matthew showed no sign of even recognizing what a toilet was, let alone how to use it. Lorelai had taken to making Matthew his own clothes as well, since he hated to be dressed and would strip in public. She made little one-piece jumpers that zipped up the back so he couldn't undress constantly. They were made from the softest cotton she could find, as Matthew was very sensitive to anything rubbing against his skin. She learned this as a result of his many tantrums and public displays of nudity.

Matthew continued to pace the floor, babbling away, his little bare feet always in motion. Emmy scooted down from her father's arms and joined her brother, pacing right along with him. Luke came over and sat next to Lorelai on the couch. He put his arm around her and she leaned into him. Both parents watched the scene before them with a mixture of amusement and sadness. It would have been comical if it was two young children at play, but the reality of it all broke their hearts.

After a while, Matthew walked over to the TV and stood in front of it, rocking back and forth. He just stared at the TV without making a sound. Emmy seemed to understand what her brother wanted. She skipped over to the cabinet and retrieved a tape.

"Mommy, Matthew wants to watch Scooby Doo again," she said. "Can I put the tape in?"

"Sure Sweetpea," Lorelai replied. Emmy put the tape in the VCR and the cartoon canine and his human companions came to life again.

Matthew stood directly in front of the TV, mesmerized by his favorite show. He smiled broadly at the TV, his little face lighting up. Lorelai sat, remembering the first time she'd seen him smile. He used to smile so much when he was a baby, but now those smiles were less and less. She sighed, lost in her own memories, as Matthew bonded with the cartoon dog.

"Luke! Come here! Check this out," Lorelai exclaimed from the nursery. She was changing Matthew's diaper and the six month old was preoccupied with his toes. Luke entered the room as Lorelai finished closing the tabs on the new diaper. She leaned down and blew a raspberry on Matthew's exposed belly. The boy squealed with glee, flailing his little arms and legs. The more Lorelai blew raspberries on his belly, the harder the boy laughed. He grabbed two fists full of Lorelai's hair.

"Hey stinker! Mommy needs that hair," She giggled, dislodging herself from Matthew's grasp. "Gah! Don't eat it," She laughed, retrieving strands of hair from his mouth.

"Tell Mommy: 'that's what you get for tickling me'," Luke said, coming up behind Lorelai.

Emmy lay on her stomach in her crib, pushing herself up on her hands. She watched intently, as her brother squealed at his mother's antics. She began to giggle along with her brother, her huge smile showing off two tiny teeth on the bottom. She laughed so hard that she lost her balance and plopped head first onto the mattress, smearing a line of drool into the sheet. Luke spotted her and picked her up.

"Whoa Sweetpea," he chuckled. "Easy does it. What about you? You need a change too?" He lifted her up over his head, causing her to squeal and drip a line of drool onto Luke's nose.

Lorelai laughed as Luke wiped his nose. "I already got to Drooly there. Unless she bust out a surprise for Daddy in the last ten minutes, she's good to go."

Luke sniffed Emmy's diapered bottom and grinned. "No presents for Daddy. I can't believe we have to dress them up to have dinner with your parents."

"Where else would they get to wear the fancy duds," Lorelai stated simply. "You know my mother can't stop buying them cute outfits. She's just so excited that she's actually going to get to see these two grow up. So suck it up Daddy. We have to dress for dinner and so do they."

"At least it's only once a week," Luke grumbled. "And I'm not wearing a tie!"

"You rebel," Lorelai purred in his ear. She kissed him on the cheek. "Will you wear the tie later for me? And nothing else?"

"I think I could be persuaded," Luke said smiling. Emmy grabbed Luke's nose. He made a face and she broke out in a fit of giggles. Matthew, now dressed in his new velour suit with the tiny red bow tie, followed suit, grabbing his mother's nose. Lorelai made a honking sound and Matthew threw his head back and laughed.

"Look at you Matty! You look like a mini version of Grandpa," Lorelai chuckled. "He's so gonna get a kick out of your new duds. Tomorrow it's back to baby jeans and cute little t-shirts."

"So how long do you think Emmy's frilly dress will last before she pukes on it," Luke wondered.

"Once we get there? About ten minutes," Lorelai replied, snapping a spit up bib on Emmy. She snapped one on Matthew as well. "There. Now you guys are all set."

Once the twins were secured in their carriers and strapped into the SUV, they headed off to Hartford for dinner with the Gilmores. Lorelai had to admit, she was enjoying the weekly dinners with her parents far more than she used to. Yes, her mother could still drive her crazy, but they were learning to really listen to each other, and even apologize when they stepped on each other's toes a bit too hard. What made it even more enjoyable was that Rory and Logan now came to Friday night dinners, making it a real weekly family gathering.

When they arrived, they found that Rory and Logan were already there. After being greeted by the maid, they were ushered into the living room for drinks. Matthew and Emmy were still asleep from the drive, so Lorelai left them in their carriers and set them on the floor between her and Luke. Richard handed Luke a beer and Rory and Logan their drinks. Lorelai frowned at the club soda, but since she was still breastfeeding she knew not to complain about it.

"So Mom, I can't believe that you've had the same staff now for what… over a year," Lorelai inquired, taking a sip of her club soda.

"Well yes, I've decided that it just wasn't worth the aggravation to constantly discharge the help for trivial infractions," Emily stated, placing her drink on a coaster.

"Going soft on us Grandma," Rory asked smiling. Lorelai snorted a laugh.

"Come on Mom," Lorelai commented with a raised eyebrow. "I can't picture you giving up that much control. I think you'd have an aneurysm or something."

"For your information, Lorelai, I've let go a great deal of the anger I used to carry around," Emily explained. "I have no need to take it out on the help anymore."

"That's right," Richard added. "Not to mention that every agency in Hartford knows you and their employees are still terrified of you. I believe they have an indoctrination just for prospective hirees in our home." He smiled, taking a sip of his drink.

"Oh Richard, stop," Emily scolded, unable to contain her own smile. "You make me out to be…"

"Hitler," Lorelai interjected with a smirk.

"Really Lorelai," Emily snapped. "I wasn't THAT bad. Was I," she asked more subdued.

"Uh…yeah," Lorelai said, nodding. "But you've definitely gotten better. I haven't seen the vein pop in your forehead when the maid puts the silverware on the wrong side of the plate in a long time."

"Your mother is working hard to improve her frustration tolerance and let go of some of her control issues," Richard said proudly. He leaned over to kiss Emily on the cheek. "I must say, I'm very proud of her for her considerable efforts in this endeavor."

"So what's the secret to your success Emily," Logan inquired. "My parents could definitely use some help themselves."

"Well, if you must know, it's Maria," Emily announced with a smile.

"Our Maria? Miss stay-in-the-moment Maria," Lorelai asked. "I didn't know you two were such close friends."

"She's been helping with some of my anger issues," Emily stated calmly.

"But you don't believe in therapy, Mom," Lorelai said confused.

"She's not a therapist Lorelai," Emily replied evenly. She had a feeling she was about to become the butt of another Lorelai joke.

"Yes she is," Lorelai commented, smiling. "She's a physical therapist."

"I am very aware of what Maria does for a living, Lorelai," Emily said growing impatient. _Stay in the moment_.

"But you said she was helping you with your anger issues," Lorelai said. "Maria is not a psychologist. She's not qualified to shrink your head."

"She is not shrinking my head," Emily snapped. "Oh for god sakes, Lorelai! I talk to the woman! She helps me find some sanity so I don't have a stroke from dealing with your snide remarks and sarcastic jokes."

"I see hanging with Maria is really workin' for ya there, Mom," Lorelai said smirking.

"Dinner is ready, Mrs. Gilmore," the maid announced, as she entered the room.

"Thank you Maggie," Emily replied.

"Yeah Mags, you saved the day," Lorelai chided. "I wouldn't want Mom to have a stroke." Maggie smiled, as she turned and headed into the kitchen. Luke shot Lorelai a glare and shook his head.

"Let's all head into the dining room, shall we," Emily said, as she stood.

Everyone exited the living room. Luke carried the twins, who were now awake, in their carriers. Lorelai hung back and waited for her mother.

"You certainly take a sadistic pleasure in torturing me, Lorelai," Emily sighed. Lorelai put her arm around her mother's shoulder.

"It's only because I love you," Lorelai replied innocently. "And I like to see how long it takes to get a rise out of you. You are getting better, I must say."

"Don't think I won't tell Maria what you said tonight," Emily stated with a smile.

"Great! And I'll definitely hear about it from her," Lorelai groaned. "You do know I was kidding right? I think it's great that you've been talking with Maria. She's actually helped me a lot too."

"Now if she could only help you with that compulsive need you have to drive your own mother insane," Emily remarked, taking her seat at the table.

"What can I say? I can't wait to get my hands on my inheritance," Lorelai deadpanned. "I want to build an amusement park for the kids. I'll call it Wacky World. There will be rides, roller coasters, a zoo and the world's largest food court."

Everyone stared at her for a moment, until Matthew and Emmy burst out laughing. Suddenly the whole room was filled with laughter. The meal went well, with pleasant conversation and a delicious dinner. Luke and Lorelai each fed the babies their rice cereal. They were just beginning on solids but Lorelai continued to breastfeed them. She found it hysterical to watch them trying new textures. The look on their faces as they dribbled most of the food down their chins was priceless.

After dinner, everyone retired to the living room. Rory and Logan played with Emmy, making the baby giggle with glee. Even Richard had to fight for time with his granddaughter. Lorelai noticed Matthew grunting, his face twisted into his characteristic pout. She excused herself and brought him up to the nursery her parents had set up.

Lorelai changed Matthew's diaper. Unlike his sister, who didn't seem to mind being messy, Matthew seemed extra sensitive to messes. Once he was clean, Lorelai snuggled him against her shoulder. He rubbed his face into her dress, smearing drool into the fabric. She rubbed his back soothingly as he continued to fuss. When he began tugging at the front of her dress, she understood why he was fussing.

Lorelai carried Matthew over to the rocking chair and sat down. He had begun to whimper now. Lorelai quickly parted the bodice of her dress and undid the hook on her nursing bra. She cradled Matthew on her arm, as he latched onto her breast and nursed. He continued fussing, until Lorelai began to rock him in the chair. She began to sing softly to him as she stroked his soft dark brown curls.

Emily came looking for her daughter. She was about to enter the nursery when she was taken aback by the sound of singing. She stood just outside the door and listened. She had no idea that Lorelai could sing so beautifully. When Lorelai was a teenager, Emily would constantly scold her for playing her rock music too loud and singing at the top of her lungs. She thought the girl did it just to get on her last nerve ending. But now she felt differently as she listened to Lorelai sweetly singing a lullaby to her baby.

Emily stood in the doorway, unnoticed by Lorelai, and observed the tender moment between mother and son. Lorelai looked almost angelic, with her long curls draped over her shoulders, framing her face. She looked down at Matthew as he continued to nurse. She sang softly and rocked. Emily could feel the tears stinging behind her eyes. How could she possibly view her only child as a disappointment, when seeing her now only proved what a great mother she was? She had judged her daughter so harshly, for so many years, without trying to understand her. Lorelai looked up, seeing her mother in the doorway, and smiled.

"Please don't stop singing on my account," Emily said gently, coming into the room.

"Ugh! I'm not that great a singer, Mom," Lorelai stated, blushing slightly. "I only sing to the babies cause they seem to like it."

"You have a beautiful voice, Lorelai," Emily said, coming over to where Lorelai was sitting.

"Uh, thanks Mom," Lorelai replied, smiling. "Matthew loves when I sing lullabies. Emmy loves when I sing Broadway show tunes!" She giggled and gazed down at Matthew, who was making contented little sighs as he suckled.

"She's quite the character, that daughter of yours," Emily stated as she sat in the chair next to Lorelai. "She reminds me so much of you as a baby. Your father adores her."

"Well, she's definitely not Rory, that's for sure," Lorelai said, stroking Matthew's pink cheek with her index finger. "Emmy is much more outgoing, although she's good at getting her brother to laugh."

"He's an angel," Emily cooed, fingering the boy's fine curls. "You must be so proud."

"I am, Mom," Lorelai nodded. "You wanna burp for Grandma? Come on sweet boy, share the love." She removed him from her breast, readjusted herself, and held him on her lap. Matthew burped loudly, and then smiled a drooly smile, causing Lorelai to giggle.

**I hope you all like it. Please leave a review and make my day. I'll even do the happy dance! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow! I finally had a chance to finish this chapter! This past month has been hectic. I moved and my daughter came home to live with me again. I didn't have my computer hooked up for a while so I couldn't write! Oh, the withdrawals! I should be able to write faster, although now I have to fight for computer time with my kid! Teenagers! :) Thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed so far. You guys rock! I'm going to treat you to some Luke and Lorelai wonderfulness to make up for my absence and the long wait. You still love me right? (big puppy dog eyes and pout) I'm making the face, so please review and let me know you're still with me.**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. Amy Sherman-Palladino owns Gilmore Girls. Lucky her! "Annie's Song" is written by John Denver. "Longer" is written by Dan Fogelberg. This story is for entertainment only. No infringement intended.**

**Chapter 6: You fill up my senses**

Lorelai sat on the couch in the living room one evening, relaxing after a long day. Matthew and Emmy were certainly more than a handful. Months had past, with new teeth, new words, newfound strength to stand and finally take those first tottering steps toward independence. Everything was right on schedule. Lorelai sat, sipping a cup of fresh steaming coffee, while pondering how fast they grew. Time seemed to fly at warp speed.

She smiled as she listened to Luke putting the twins down to bed. He offered to give her a break, seeing how exhausted she was. She had begun to work full time again at the Dragonfly, leaving Matthew and Emmy in the care of a babysitter. Being the owner had its privileges though, and Lorelai often found ways to skim hours off her schedule so she could spend time with her babies. Now that the rambunctious twosome were bathed and tucked into their cribs, she could hear Luke talking to them through the baby monitor that sat next to her on the end table.

She decided to peek in on him. She loved to watch Luke settle the babies down at night. He was really getting into the dad role, jam hands and all. As Lorelai climbed the stairs, she could hear the sounds of guitar strings being tuned. That was a first. She'd seen the old guitar that Luke had leaning against the wall of his apartment many times, but just figured it was one of the many mementos from his youth, now discarded to gather dust with the trophies and other remnants of the past. She'd never heard him play and thought nothing of it. Lorelai stood in the doorway and could see Luke sitting in the rocker with his back turned toward her.

He began to finger pick a melody softly on the guitar. He could actually play! How did she not know this? Lorelai gasped as Luke began to sing a John Denver tune. Oh my god. There would be mocking for sure. Luke liked John Denver? Wow! Not only did he like John Denver, he had a great singing voice! Lorelai stood with her mouth hanging open as she listened to him play and sing softly to their babies.

"You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest," Luke sang gently. "Like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean, you fill up my senses, come fill me again. Come let me love you. Let me give my life to you. Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms, let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you, come let me love you, come love me again."

Lorelai listened as Luke hummed the third verse and followed with a reprise of the first verse. His voice was clear and sent chills throughout her body. She found herself becoming moved by the simplicity of the song and the tenderness with which he sang it. She padded into the room, glancing over at her now sleeping babies in their cribs. She came up behind Luke and placed a hand on his shoulder. He didn't startle, so she assumed he knew she was watching him the whole time. He looked up at her, his eyes misty with unshed tears, which he quickly blinked away.

"Hey, how come you never serenaded me like that," Lorelai whispered softly, as she rubbed his back.

"I guess I just haven't felt like playing," Luke shrugged, as he ran his hand along the fret board lightly. "I'm surprised I even made it through the song without stopping." Luke held up his left hand and waggled his fingers. "No calluses."

"I didn't know you could play," Lorelai whispered into his ear, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "All this time, you've never once picked up a guitar. Is this another one of those Luke Danes mysteries that you like to surprise me with?"

Luke stood up, placed a finger to his lips, leaned over the cribs to check on Matthew and Emmy, and then motioned Lorelai toward the door. Lorelai reached in and stroked Matthew's curly head, then tenderly brushed a finger along Emmy's pink little cheek before heading out into the hallway to join Luke. She closed the door silently and turned to find Luke in their bedroom, sitting on the bed, guitar in hand. He had a far away gaze and a tiny smile played on his lips, as he sat lost in thought.

"Penny for your thoughts," Lorelai offered, as she entered the room.

"It's a dollar," Luke replied with a cocky grin. "Inflation."

"No way! Seriously? Man, Rory owes me a lot of money," Lorelai giggled, as she flopped down on the bed next to Luke. "Will you take a rain check? I'm short on singles at the moment."

"You can pay me in kisses," Luke chuckled. "One for each penny."

"With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you," Lorelai sang, wrapping her arms around Luke's neck. "With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you. Oh lover, I'll cover you!"

"Ten bucks? I'll take it," Luke exclaimed. "As long as you stop singing. You're gonna wake the babies."

"You had better have a lot of thoughts for that steep price," Lorelai giggled.

Luke sighed and began to pluck the strings of the guitar, playing a simple song. Lorelai listened quietly as he played. Despite not having calluses on his fingertips, Luke played the chords with the expertise of someone who'd been playing for many years. Lorelai didn't recognize the song, but the melody captivated her. She leaned against Luke's shoulder as he played.

"Wow, you're good," Lorelai sighed. "How come I've never heard you play before? Afraid I'll mock your choice of song? I never would've pegged you for a John Denver fan."

"Yeah well, my dad liked him. He used to sing Annie's Song to my mom and play it on guitar," Luke recalled. "He said it was her song. He never wanted anyone to know that he played guitar and he only played for Mom and us kids. He loved to play for Mom especially. He wasn't the most romantic guy, but singing and playing guitar made him feel connected to her. She found it romantic and loved him for it, even though he wasn't the greatest singer."

"When did you learn to play," Lorelai inquired, stroking his upper arm.

"My dad taught me when I was a boy," Luke replied. "Even though Dad wasn't much of a singer, he could play really well. Besides, it was something we could share that we both enjoyed."

"So why did you stop playing," Lorelai pressed.

"When Mom died, Dad stopped playing," Luke stated sadly. "He just didn't have the heart. This was his guitar. I played through my teens, but when Dad passed I wanted nothing to do with it any more. I didn't want to get rid of Dad's guitar so I just propped it up in his office. Today was the first time I've picked it up in years. I wanted to play for Matthew and Emmy the way my dad played for me and Liz."

Luke looked down, his eyes clouded with tears. He blinked rapidly a few times to clear his vision and began to play another song. As the opening strains began, Lorelai recognized the tune from her youth. It was a Dan Fogelberg song that was popular on the radio. Luke stopped playing and shook his aching fingers. If he wanted to play for the twins as they grew up, he'd better get some calluses fast. He started playing the opening bars of the song again, wincing slightly as the strings dug into his tender fingertips.

"This one is for you Lorelai," Luke announced with a grin. "And do not tell everyone about me serenading you! That's all I'd need is for Patty to hound me into performing at one of her crazy talent shows. This talent is for the Danes family only. If you tell anyone, I will just deny it."

"Shut up and play already," Lorelai exclaimed. "I wanna hear my song. Who knew I'd marry my own troubadour."

"I am not a troubadour," Luke grunted. "You mock, I stop singing and playing and you'll never hear me again."

"I'm sorry," Lorelai said quickly, hugging him around the neck. "I'm sorry! No mocking. I promise. Please play my song, pretty please with sugar on top."

Luke glanced over and spotted the familiar pout on his wife's beautiful face. He couldn't resist her when she looked like that. He cupped her chin in his hand, pulling her close, and kissed her tenderly on the lips. He pulled back and smiled, causing Lorelai to melt inside. She beamed a radiant smile of her own in response. Luke looked down and began to play again, as Lorelai draped herself over his shoulder, nestling her cheek against the soft flannel.

"Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean, higher than any bird ever flew, longer than there've been stars up in the heavens, I've been in love with you," Luke sang, as he played the old guitar. "Stronger than any mountain cathedral, truer than any tree ever grew, deeper than any forest primeval, I am in love with you."

Luke continued to play and sing. Lorelai listened silently, mesmerized by his voice and the lilting strains of the guitar. Luke never ceased to amaze her. Just when she thought she had him figured out, he surprised her with another hidden facet of his life. She couldn't believe that the monosyllabic self-imposed hermit had such depth and talent. Since they reconciled, and eventually married, Luke was more willing to share these hidden sides with her. He was everything she'd dreamed of.

As Luke finished the song, Lorelai sighed in contentment. This was one of those moments she wanted to keep forever, recalling it when she was having a bad day. She knew that, no matter how hectic her life got, no matter how stressed out she felt, the thought of her loving husband singing and playing guitar for her would be able to bring a smile to her face, just like the one she wore now. She quickly wiped a tear from the corner of her eye with her finger and then turned to kiss his scruffy cheek. Luke stopped playing and shook his stinging fingers.

"I think I love Musical Luke as much as I love Ranting Luke or Sappy Luke," Lorelai cooed as she took his left hand. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed each reddened fingertip. "Does this count toward the thousand sweet kisses I owe you for your thoughts?" She smiled playfully at him and continued kissing his hand.

"Keep it up and you'll have your debt paid off in no time," Luke said, smiling.

"I want to make sure I thank you for serenading me tonight," Lorelai said softly. "That was possibly one of the sweetest gifts you've ever given me."

"I can see now why my dad loved to play for my mom," Luke remarked, running the fingers of his right hand through Lorelai's hair. "I also see why he kept that particular talent hidden. He was kind of embarrassed about showing his sentimental side."

"Like father, like son," Lorelai stated, caressing his hand against her cheek. "I wish I could've known him. He sounds like he was a great guy."

"He was," Luke said, nodding. "He probably would have thought you were nuts too, just like I did when I first met you, but you have a habit of growing on people and you would have won him over in no time. Yeah, my dad would've liked you."

Luke got up and leaned the guitar against his dresser. He turned to see Lorelai stretched out across the bed with the sweetest smile on her face. He couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she looked in her sweat pants and pink camisole top. She turned and leaned on her elbow, causing the thin strap of her top to slip off her shoulder. She brushed her fingers through the mass of loose curls that fell over her shoulders. She looked perfect from the top of her head to the tips of her red polished toes. Lorelai patted the bed invitingly and Luke climbed into bed next to her.

Lorelai snuggled up next to Luke and draped a leg over his. She rubbed a hand along his t-shirt clad chest and began to kiss the soft material. She kissed her way up to his neck and followed the line to his jaw, where she placed tiny kisses all along it, ending at his waiting lips. She greeted his lips with soft moist kisses, filled with rising passion and tenderness.

Luke opened his mouth to invite her deeper, as his hand slid up her back, coming to rest in the silky waves at the back of her head. He drew her closer, breathing in the essence of her perfume mingling with the scent of her arousal. Who knew that playing a guitar was such an aphrodisiac? He decided then and there that there would be much more serenading in the future. The sweet taste of her desire lingered on his lips, as he stroked her arms with his fingertips.

Lorelai felt Luke's feathery touch along her arms and moaned softly. The sensation set her nerve endings on overdrive. As Luke began to trail kisses along her neck to her shoulder, she felt as if her body was humming in harmony with his energy. His touch was so delicate, yet it was electric. She could barely contain her desire as Luke kissed and caressed her entire being, undressing her as he went along. She held him close as he continued his tender ministrations, inhaling sharply as he reached her most intimate places.

Luke shed his own clothes. He could sense Lorelai opening for him, body and soul. His own body trembled with the mixture of their energies and the overwhelming love he felt for her. Lorelai was his wife and the mother of his beautiful children. She was a dynamic force to be reckoned with, yet inside that caffeine fueled whirlwind beat a tender loving heart.

As their joined bodies moved together, Luke nestled into Lorelai's neck, humming Annie's Song softly. The vibrations against her highly sensitized skin propelled Lorelai toward her release. When he began to sing softly, she lost herself in ecstasy as every fiber of her being reverberated with her passion. He joined her in his own sweet release and then collapsed into her arms while she pressed kisses into his muscular shoulder. This was a moment he wanted to savor; the tender expression of their devotion to each other.

"You definitely fill up my senses," Lorelai whispered into Luke's ear, her breath warm and punctuated by the occasional sigh of contentment.

"It wasn't too sappy, was it," Luke inquired, as he brought himself up to lean on his elbows.

"I love the sappy," Lorelai cooed. She kissed him softly on the lips and pulled back to smile at him. "You're usually all gruff and grumpy. I love that I get to see your sweet, tender side."

"Only you," Luke whispered. "And the kids. Don't wanna scare them too much. At least not while they're young. But when the boys start callin' for Emmy, they'll have to pass muster or deal with the wrath of the grumpy diner guy."

"The longer we're married, the more I learn about you," Lorelai said softly, as Luke rolled onto his back. "How come you never shared these talents all the years that we've known each other?"

"Uh, well, I didn't because I know how you like to mock," Luke stammered. "These intimacies like my ability to give massage or play guitar, and yes even sing, are rooted in my personal family experiences. I just wasn't comfortable opening that side of me up."

"So what changed that," Lorelai asked as she snuggled up against his chest.

"When we broke up and you slept with Christopher, I was angry and lost," Luke began. "I felt like you had betrayed me and everything that I stood for. It took me a long time to process my part in it all, and when I did I realized we both were to blame. I knew that if I ever had the chance to get you back, I'd do things differently."

Lorelai lay silent for a moment, waiting for Luke to continue.

"When Rory wrecked her car and was injured so bad, I knew I needed to be there for you," Luke said. "I needed to open up and let you in, so I did."

"And here we are," Lorelai sighed, "happily married with two rambunctious toddlers."

"Yeah, but they're definitely growing on me," Luke smirked. "I never thought I'd ever be the dad type, you know, but when April came along I learned a lot. It scared the crap outa me, but I learned that I could do this parent thing."

"I just wish you would have included me more," Lorelai frowned.

"That's the main reason I decided to open up, Lorelai," Luke said nodding. "I want to do this right. No more secrets between us. I will include you in my life fully. That means sharing parts of me that I always kept to myself, even at the risk of your mocking."

"I could never mock the singing and guitar playing," Lorelai said sweetly, kissing him on his bare chest. "Not when you have this magical power to turn me into a puddle of goo."

"That sounds disgusting," Luke chuckled, rubbing the top of her head. He could feel the tremors against his body, as the laughter bubbled forth from deep inside her.

"That's right, a puddle of goo," Lorelai gasped, laughing. "If you keep up being all sweet and sentimental Sappy Luke, I'm gonna pull an Alex Mack and dissolve in a puddle of liquid."

"Who's Alex Mack," Luke inquired, shaking his head. He was afraid to find out.

"Alex Mack? The Secret World Of Alex Mack? Popular TV show on Nickelodeon back in the '90s?" Luke looked at her like she had grown another head. "Rory and I used to watch it all the time and wish we had her mutant powers. She could melt into a puddle of liquid at will and slide under doors and stuff," Lorelai said with glee. "I figured it would be a great power to have to escape from those occasional dinners with the folks. It'd be a lot easier than shimmying down the drainpipe or climbing out my bedroom window."

"You are so much work," Luke marveled. "That is proof positive that TV rots your brain."

"Hey, I could have said that I'd melt into a puddle of green acid like goo like one of those aliens on the X-Files," Lorelai reasoned.

"I rest my case," Luke conceded with a smile. "Come here Crazy Lady." He pulled her up to kiss her full on the lips. "There will be no more talk of goo tonight."

"Ooh! You said goo! Dirty!" Lorelai burst out laughing.

Luke groaned and rolled his eyes. "So much work," he reiterated. "I'll show you dirty," he growled, pulling her head down to playfully bite her neck. She squealed and laughed harder. "Shh! You're gonna wake the babies," he mumbled into her neck.

"You started it mister," Lorelai growled, with a huge smile and a waggle of her eyebrows. "Now finish it."

Luke pinned Lorelai against him and continued his playful nibbling of her neck. He suddenly tickled her along her ribs, causing her to shriek in surprise. She quickly rolled off him as he laughed. Their merriment was broken by the sound of wailing coming from the baby monitor on the nightstand.

"This is so your fault," Lorelai admonished, wagging her index finger at him. He shrugged and gave her an apologetic smile, as she threw on his t-shirt and headed to the nursery.

Lorelai returned a few moments later with a sniffling Matthew in her arms. Luckily Emmy slept through her brother's cries. Lorelai climbed back into bed and lay back, cradling her boy against her chest. She stroked his dark curly head soothingly, as he rubbed his face on Luke's shirt. Lorelai kissed Matthew's head and smiled at Luke.

**So, to quote one of Lorelai's guilty pleasures, Olivia Newton John...If you love me let me know! Press the pretty purple button and make my day! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everyone! I finally finished this chapter! Sorry it took so long. I had company (my mother) visiting from out of town for two weeks, so I had very little time to write. This chapter may seem fluffy, but I assure you it's very important to the story. Matthew and Emmy celebrate their first birthday and other baby filled wonderfulness. Today is my birthday too, so I would love some wonderful birthday reviews as presents! Lol! I hope people are still reading and enjoying this story. Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed in the past. You guys are awesome! :D Now I'm off to have some Happy cake of my own, and yes, I am actually wearing a birthday tiara...all day...much to the dismay of my teenaged daughter! Lol! Now on with the story!  
**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino.**

**Chapter 7: Baby talk and Happy cake**

Matthew snuggled up in his mother's arms. A loud noise had woken him from his peaceful slumber and frightened him, so he did the only thing a tiny boy could do; cry for his mother. It worked for she came bounding into the room to him. He stood up in his crib and reached a chubby hand out to her.

"Mama! Up," Matthew sobbed, reaching for his mother.

"Mama's here sweet boy," Lorelai cooed, as she picked him up. "Did Mama wake you up? You can blame Dada for tickling Mama. Let's go tell him how mad you are for losing your beauty sleep."

The little guy would have continued to wail, had his mother not been so soothing. Lorelai rocked him in her arms as she made her way back into her bedroom. She stroked his soft curls and kissed his head as she held him close. Matthew wiped his tear filled eyes with his tiny fist and rubbed his face on his mama's t-shirt. He wrinkled his little nose for a moment in confusion: his mama looked like his mama, but smelled like Dada!

Matthew crawled off his mother's belly and rolled in between her and his dada. He knew he wasn't in his crib any more and figured it must be playtime. He sat up and began to slap his father on the stomach.

"That's right Matty, let Dada know how mean he was to tickle Mama," Lorelai giggled.

"Don't encourage him," Luke growled. "Oof! Hey now! Why are you smacking me for anyway? It was Mama's screech that woke you up."

"Da da da da Dada," Matthew intoned with glee as he drummed on his father's stomach.

"See! He knows who's to blame," Lorelai said laughing.

"Come on you," Luke said, as he scooped up his baby boy and blew a raspberry on his little round belly. Matthew chortled with delight. "Time to go back to sleep before you wake up your sister."

"My turn," Lorelai said plainly. When Luke gave her a questioning look, she added, "You got to put them to bed earlier. Now I want my time with them."

"What? Are you gonna wake Emmy up just so you can put her to bed," Luke inquired with a confused shake of his head.

"Yeah sure, cause I love to hear her scream like a banshee when I wake her up out of a dead sleep," Lorelai snarked. "I'm just gonna sit and rock this squirming little bug while I watch Emmy sleep. Come on Matty," Lorelai said softly, taking her boy from his father's arms. "Time for little babies to go nighty night."

Lorelai carried Matthew back into his room and placed him on the changing table. She quietly changed his diaper and gathered him up in her arms again. She walked the floor with him, as he yawned and settled against her shoulder. Lorelai could see Emmy sprawled out in her crib, blanket tangled around her, her little thumb in her mouth. She looked so peaceful. Lorelai focused her attention back on Matthew, who was wrapping her hair around his chubby fingers as he snuggled against her shoulder. She rubbed his back and kissed his silky curls as she gently rocked him in her arms.

"Hey little boy," Lorelai whispered, as Matthew looked up at her and blinked his sleepy eyes. "Stop fighting it. You know you're tired. Go to sleep so Mama can snuggle up with Dada."

"Uhn," Matthew grunted, reaching a small hand out and leaning over. "Dis? Dis?"

"What do you want Matty," Lorelai inquired, as her baby boy continued to wriggle in her arms, reaching out for something beyond his grasp.

"Mama, dis," Matthew pleaded again.

"You want this," Lorelai asked, spotting his favorite blanky in his crib.

"Dis! Dis Mama," Matthew exclaimed excitedly, reaching out with both hands. Lorelai leaned over and retrieved the coveted blanky from the crib and handed it to her son.

"Say blanky Matty," Lorelai encouraged softly. "Blanky," she repeated, pronouncing each syllable carefully for him.

"Banky," Matthew repeated, cuddling the soft blue receiving blanket to him and wrapping the edge around his fingers.

"Close enough, sweet boy," Lorelai whispered as she smiled at her son. "Now go to sleep or Mama will have no energy to plan the big first birthday bash for you and your sister."

"Banky," Matthew repeated softly. "Banky, Mama."

"I see that, baby," Lorelai whispered, taking a seat in the rocking chair.

Lorelai rocked in the chair, cradling Matthew in her arms. She stroked his head, as he bunched his beloved blanky up in his little hands. He rubbed the edge against his cheek and yawned. She patted his diapered bottom as he drew his legs up, curling and uncurling his tiny bare toes on her arm. He sighed, yawned again, and drifted off to sleep.

Luke listened through the monitor in the bedroom, his arms behind his head, as he lay stretched out in bed. He loved how Lorelai would make up her own bedtime stories to tell the twins and would do goofy character voices, which made them both laugh. Sometimes she would sing softly to them when she thought no one was listening. As huge a ham as she was, she was surprisingly shy about singing in front of people. She didn't think she could sing well, yet she had a beautiful singing voice. Now though, everything was silent for some time.

Luke sat up, listening to the stillness. He threw back the covers, grabbed his boxers and slipped them on. He padded across the hall to the nursery and peeked inside. There was Lorelai, sitting back in the rocker, her mouth slightly opened, as she slept as soundly as the baby boy who was curled up in her arms. Luke stepped over to her and brushed a lock of hair from her face. He placed a soft kiss to her head and she opened her eyes, blinking at him sleepily.

"Come on sleepy girl," He whispered. "Let's get this little guy in bed so we can snuggle."

He gently lifted Matthew from her arms and carried him to his crib. Once he settled the boy down, he looked over at Lorelai and noticed she was still in the rocker and had fallen back asleep. He shook his head and smiled as he scooped her up and carried her back to their bedroom. He placed her down on the bed and she immediately sighed and rolled over on her side. Luke climbed in next to her and she snuggled against his chest.

Rory pulled into the driveway of her old home the next day and smiled. She turned off the ignition and grabbed her purse. Before she even reached the front door she could hear it, the squeals of laughter from her siblings. She opened the front door, knowing all too well that there was no knocking on the door of the Crap Shack. Her mother wouldn't hear of it. Lorelai had to remind Rory that the Crap Shack would always be her home, no matter where she lived.

"Hey Mom," Rory called out from the foyer, just as a screeching Emmy toddled by on her toes, wobbling from side to side.

"Gotcha," Lorelai exclaimed, as she scooped up Emmy and tickled her belly. "Oh hey Sweets. You wanna help me tag team the terrible twosome?" Emmy continued to chortle as she tried to wriggle free of her mother's grasp.

"Down," Emmy demanded, kicking her tiny feet. Lorelai set her on her feet and she took off into the living room as fast as her wobbly little legs could carry her.

"I don't know how you do it," Rory marveled, as she watched Matthew and Emmy chasing each other around the coffee table, while they babbled to each other in a language only they could understand.

"I've had to get a complete transfusion," Lorelai said smirking. "That's right, I no longer have blood running through my veins. It's pure coffee! Juan Valdez would be proud. I've decided to stop making the coffee and have elected to just chomping it down by the bowlful with some milk or flavored creamer."

"That's disgusting," Rory groaned, making a face.

"Breakfast of champions," Lorelai stated with a smile.

"No, that would be Wheaties," Rory corrected, "and I doubt that you're eating anything remotely resembling a whole grain."

"Hey now, I had some cheerios with the kids this morning," Lorelai announced proudly. "Cheerios are whole grain! It says so on the box."

"Was that before or after your bowl of coffee grounds with milk," Rory inquired, giggling.

"After," Lorelai laughed, as she walked over to the couch.

"So you're running on caffeine and pure exhaustion," Rory commented with a grin.

"Exactly," Lorelai sighed, plopping down on the couch. She propped her feet up on the coffee table, effectively blocking the path of her energized babies.

Emmy had been running around the table when she collided with her mother's outstretched legs. The impact caused her to fall back onto her diapered bottom with a crinkly thud. Matthew figured this was part of some new game, so he too let his legs give way as he landed on his butt near his sister. Emmy, startled by the abrupt end of her travels, began to pout, her lower lip quivering.

"Aw, don't cry Emmy," Rory soothed, as she reached over and picked her sister up. "Mommy thinks it's funny to watch you guys fall on your butts."

"I do not," Lorelai gasped, trying to stifle a giggle. When she saw the look on Emmy's face, she burst out laughing. Emmy clung to Rory and buried her face in Rory's chest. "She has you wrapped around her manipulative little finger," Lorelai exclaimed.

"Don't listen to her Emmy," Rory said to her baby sister, as she kissed her on the head. Emmy turned to face Lorelai, a gleam in her eyes.

"See! She's such a faker," Lorelai chuckled. "Look at the face! I know that face! I perfected that face! I used it to get whatever I wanted from my parents when I was little! THAT my friend is the Gilmore pout! It actually supercedes the Rory face in its manipulation abilities."

"No," Rory gasped, snapping her head down to look at her sister. Emmy looked up at her with wide innocent eyes and suddenly her pout spread out into a huge toothy smile. "You stinker," Rory said, laughing. "You are your mother's daughter!"

"I told you," Lorelai gasped, doubled over with laughter.

"I can't believe I fell for that," Rory giggled. She tickled Emmy's belly and the girl squealed with laughter.

"Don't feel bad," Lorelai stated. "While I am clearly the foremost expert on the Gilmore Pout, she still manages to pull it off with me now and then."

"And with Luke," Rory inquired.

"Every single time," Lorelai giggled, picking up Matthew and sitting him on her lap. "But not you," she cooed to Matthew. "Emmy may have Daddy wrapped around her little finger, but you're Mommy's little man. You don't need to show off to get the attention from all the girls. All you have to do is smile."

Matthew watched his mother's animated fuss over him with quiet amusement. He gave her a toothy grin of his own and she wrapped her arms around him in a big hug. He stiffened a bit and wriggled out of her embrace.

"Down," Matthew commanded, while trying to free himself from his mother's grasp.

"Not so fast there Speedy Gonzales," Lorelai said, standing up with Matthew in her arms. "Mommy is worn out. You and the Roadrunner over there are getting penned for a while. Mommy needs a break."

She carried Matthew over to the pack and play and placed him in. He sat down and began to reach for one of his toys. He didn't seem to mind playing by himself. Emmy, on the other hand, hated the pack and play and did everything she could to avoid the imprisonment of the playpen. She screamed until she was emancipated. After seeing to Matthew, Lorelai curled up on the couch again next to Rory, placing a still sobbing Emmy in Rory's arms.

Rory jostled her baby sister in her arms, trying to sooth her. Eventually Emmy fell asleep on her shoulder. Rory lightly stroked her sister's soft curls and kissed her flushed little cheek. She could feel Emmy's warm breath on her neck and hear the soft sucking sounds as Emmy sucked her thumb. It was so nice having baby siblings, but Rory began to yearn for one of her own. She wondered how Logan would handle being a father.

"Sookie's making chocolate cake," Lorelai announced suddenly, startling Rory from her thoughts.

"What," Rory inquired in a daze.

"Chocolate cake? For the twins' birthday? Hello? Earth to Rory," Lorelai said softly, trying not to wake Emmy. "That's why you're here…to help me plan the party?"

"Oh, right," Rory responded distractedly. "Mom, can I talk to you?"

"Sure, hon," Lorelai replied. "Is everything okay? I mean, I don't see you as much now that you're a married working woman."

"Everything's fine," Rory stated. "Things are really good. I'm settled in at work and things couldn't be better between Logan and me."

"But…," Lorelai began.

Rory thought for a moment about whether or not she was ready to divulge her desire to start a family with her mother. Lorelai was still a bit overprotective of her since the accident. Maybe she wasn't ready for the full time commitment of motherhood. After all, she was just settling into her career at the Hartford Courant. She still had plenty of time to have a baby. She shifted Emmy on her shoulder and sighed.

"Logan and I were having a discussion one day about if I was capable of having children," Rory began.

"Oh my god, you're pregnant," Lorelai gasped, bouncing in her seat.

"No! God no," Rory exclaimed. Emmy startled but fell back to sleep almost immediately.

"Don't do that to Mommy," Lorelai whispered loudly, her hand on her chest. "So you and Logan were having a discussion about children?"

"I told him that the doctor says I should be able to conceive and carry a baby without any problems," Rory stated. "I was just thinking that I'd really like a child."

"Now," Lorelai inquired. "You're still getting your life back on track."

"I know," Rory replied, rubbing Emmy's back as her sister sucked her thumb. "I was just thinking that's all. I haven't even mentioned it to Logan yet. I don't know if he's ready for parenthood yet. It's just that I love spending time with Matthew and Emmy and I think I'm handling them just fine when I baby sit for them."

"You're a great big sister, hon," Lorelai said softly as she stroked Rory's arm. "But watching your brother and sister occasionally is one thing. Raising a child of your own is different. You have challenges most mothers don't have to deal with."

You don't think I could do it," Rory asked in surprise and a bit of disappointment.

Lorelai gazed at her daughter. Rory's very existence was proof positive that she could do anything if she really wanted it. As a mother, there is nothing harder than watching your child suffer and fight for her life. Rory had a quiet strength that never ceased to amaze her. Lorelai was sure that Rory's strength would help her accomplish any goal she set her sights on. But becoming a mother with the physical challenges that Rory had would be another battle. Lorelai didn't want to see her daughter struggle.

"It's not that, sweets," Lorelai said with a sigh. She gave her daughter a small wistful smile. "I guess I just worry about you. That's what mothers do."

"I wouldn't be having a baby alone, Mom," Rory assured her. "I'd have Logan. I see how he is with the twins. I think he'd make a good dad. The important part is that we'd be parents together. I'd have support. Not to mention, I'd also have you."

"Well, being the world's greatest mother does have its perks," Lorelai chuckled. She leaned over and kissed Rory on the cheek. "If you really want to start a family, then do it. Just promise me that if you have a girl you won't name her Apple or any other fruity name. And stay away from those weird celebrity names. I swear those famous moms were higher than me when they gave birth!"

"So Pilot Inspektor is out huh," Rory giggled. "Although I was kind of leaning toward Newspaper Writer for a boy. We'd call him Newsy for short."

"Ew! Over my dead body," Lorelai exclaimed. "If you must go with a fruity name, how about kumquat? Gah! Too dirty! Ooh! I know! Pez! Pez Huntzberger…you can't go wrong with candy!"

"What? As a name? Ew," Rory giggled. "How do we always wind up in these discussions?"

"Your mother has a weird sense of humor? Whatever you decide to name my future grandchild will be fine with me," Lorelai said, smiling. "So…you okay now?"

"I'm great," Rory answered with a nod. "So what else are we having besides chocolate cake?"

Lorelai excitedly went on with the plans she'd made, asking Rory for her opinion. There was so much planning for an event that would come and go in the blink of an eye. When the big day arrived, the two celebrities were arrayed in their finest attire. Never had two babies looked so cute or received so much attention. Matthew and Emmy barely had time to run around: they were constantly being picked up and cuddled.

"Patty, I need my son," Lorelai said, as she extricated Matthew from Miss. Patty's arms, where he'd been for the last half hour.

"This sweet boy? I could just eat him up," Patty cooed, pretending to chomp on Matthew's belly. Matthew grabbed her hair and squealed in delight.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Lorelai chuckled, securing her son in her arms. "The birthday boy needs to get ready to have his cake and eat it too."

"Patty, are you mauling my son again," Luke asked, coming over to Lorelai with Emmy in his arms.

"Guilty as charged," Patty laughed.

"The day you start pinching his butt, I'm coming after you," Luke warned, a twinkle in his eye.

"You promise," Patty inquired with a wink. Luke turned red, as Patty let loose a belly laugh. "Relax Doll, I know you Danes men are off limits. Besides, the only men I like in diapers are the ones who want me to be their mama, if you know what I mean."

"Oh my god, Patty, you are so bad," Babette screeched, pulling Patty to the side. "Did you see Eastside Tilly's new hairdo? It looks like someone shoved her head in a blender and put it on puree!" The two women burst out laughing and stumbled over to the table to get more of Patty's punch.

"Remind me never to put our kids in any of Patty's classes," Lorelai said, staring at Patty and Babette, who were standing by the drink table cackling like hens.

"You do and I'm coming after YOU," Luke growled near her ear.

"Is that a promise," Lorelai challenged, with a giggle. Luke just smiled and walked away with Emmy. "Come on Matty. Let's go bring out that birthday cake Aunt Sookie made for you. Emmy gets her own cake, so there's no fighting."

"Mmm," Matthew said, as he clapped his hands together. "Happy cake!"

"That's right, birthday boy," Lorelai remarked. "Happy cake for you!"

Lorelai and Luke set the twins in their high chairs, placed a large bib on each and secured the trays. Emmy banged on the tray with her tiny hands and kicked her little feet in excitement. Matthew watched her and laughed. He didn't pound his tray the way Emmy did, preferring to rock back and forth while clapping his hands. Everyone gathered around as the lights were dimmed. Sookie entered holding two little round cakes, one in each hand, with a lit candle in each. Luke and Lorelai each took a seat next to a high chair as everyone sang Happy Birthday.

"Happy happy you you," Emmy sang along.

"Happy cake," Matthew chimed in, reaching out a hand toward his own cake.

"No no, hot," Lorelai exclaimed, taking hold of his hand. She and Luke blew out the candles and Rory turned the lights back on.

"Lorelai, you're not really going to let them eat that are you," Emily asked.

"Oh it's okay, Emily," Sookie replied. "I made these especially for them. I made a sheet cake for us."

"Oh my," Emily exclaimed, placing a hand over her eyes as Emmy dug into her cake with both hands. "I can't watch."

Emmy shoved fists full of cake into her mouth, licking the icing off, but managing to cover her face in chocolate cake in the process. When she rubbed the cake in her hair, Emily intervened with a wet washcloth. Matthew, on the other hand, gingerly picked small pieces of cake off with his fingers and ate them. He enjoyed running a fingertip through the icing, checking the consistency. Unlike his sister, he stayed fairly clean.

"Emmy definitely takes after you," Luke noted to Lorelai, as he removed the decimated remains of Emmy's birthday cake from her tray.

"Oh, you should have seen Lorelai on her first birthday," Emily remarked.

"Did you feed me my cake on a silver spoon," Lorelai joked, as she wiped a protesting Emmy's face with the washcloth.

"No Lorelai, I had the maid eat it for you," Emily retorted. "When no one was looking, you managed to reach across the table and stick your hand into the beautiful cake I had custom ordered from Dortoni's Bakery. You ruined it before I even had a chance to take a picture of it!"

"Well, you know my love of all things sweet," Lorelai shrugged, taking the cloth to Matthew's cake filled hands.

"That was nothing compared to the time you dumped your entire plate of spaghetti over your head," Richard chuckled. "Your mother had to hose you off in the kitchen sink!"

"You completely ruined the beautiful dress I'd just purchased, not to mention what it cost to have the antique Oriental rug cleaned," Emily stated.

"So that's why I had to eat all my meals in the kitchen when I was little," Lorelai exclaimed.

Rory smiled, watching the scene before her. She leaned over to Logan and whispered, "So what do you think? Are we ready for that," she asked, nodding in the direction of her siblings.

"If that's what you want then I'm in Ace," Logan replied with a smile.

**Did you like? Please make me a happy birthday girl by leaving a review! :D I'll even update faster!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Do you love me? I actually wrote and posted the next chapter pretty quickly! I figured I'd do it now, because I may lose my internet after tomorrow until I can play catch up on the bills.** **I will however keep writing, so that when I do get internet restored I can post the next chapter quickly to make up for it.** **So if I don't post for a while, that's why. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this. It's not your typical fan fiction, that's for sure, but I'm glad you're all interested. I really love hearing what you all think about my story and any questions you may have regarding the subject of autism. Please keep the reviews coming! They really do make me write faster! :D**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino. This story is for entertainment only. No infringement intended.**

**Chapter 8: Signs and beginnings**

Lorelai sat on the couch, watching Matthew as he stood in front of the TV. He was entranced by Scooby Doo and watched the same video over and over. It was one of the few things that seemed to pacify him. She leaned against Luke and sighed, enjoying a few moments of peace. If watching the cartoon dog and his companions unmask nefarious ghouls repeatedly kept her boy from having a meltdown, then bring it on! Although, now she could repeat the dialog word for word!

Emmy tired of watching the same video all the time. She stomped over to the TV and pushed the eject button on the VCR.

"Emmy, no," Lorelai exclaimed, jumping up off the couch.

"But Mommy, Matty watches Scooby Doo all the time," Emmy whined. "I wanna watch The Little Mermaid!"

Before Lorelai had a chance to intercept, Matthew shrieked and lunged for Emmy. He grabbed her by the shirt and bit her on the arm. Now Emmy shrieked and shoved her brother to the floor just as Lorelai scooped her up. Lorelai carried Emmy to the couch and handed her to Luke. She turned to see Matthew flailing on the floor, kicking and screaming. The boy flipped onto his stomach and began banging his head on the floor hard, as he screamed and cried.

Lorelai dropped to the floor and tried to comfort her son. He threw his head back and screamed, as he fought to free himself from her embrace. He kicked his mother with his little feet and pinched and scratched her arms. Lorelai tried desperately to soothe her boy, but he wanted none of it. Luke checked Emmy's arm and determined that the bite was superficial, yet she cried hysterically. He looked up to see Lorelai being pummeled by Matthew and sprung into action.

"Matthew, stop it," Luke's voice boomed out, as he grabbed his son from Lorelai. "Stop screaming," He barked at the little boy, who was struggling to free himself from his father's tight grip.

"He doesn't understand you Luke," Lorelai snapped, panting from her struggle with Matthew. "Let him go!"

"No Lorelai," Luke growled. "I've had it with his tantrums! You don't bite your sister," he yelled at Matthew, causing the boy to scream louder as he tugged at his ears.

"Yelling at him isn't going to help or make him stop," Lorelai pleaded desperately.

"Well, what is," Luke roared. "How long are we supposed to let him run the show around here? They tell us he has autism, and we're just supposed to let him throw fits and bite Emmy? Look at you Lorelai! You're bleeding and covered in bruises!"

Lorelai didn't know what to say. She was overwhelmed and getting a headache from the screaming coming from both of her children. She watched as Luke went over to the TV, popped the video back into the VCR and pressed 'play'. Scooby Doo came back to life once again and Matthew sat up and began to rock, as he sniffled back his ragged sobs. Lorelai got up off the floor, without a word, and went upstairs.

She was visibly shaking, as she entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and winced. Her hair was a disheveled mess of tangles. She stripped off her shirt and tossed it on the edge of the sink. There were several small bruises forming on her chest where Matthew had kicked her repeatedly. Far worse were the bruises covering her arms from where he had pinched her. She learned that the triceps muscle is extremely sensitive to being pinched. She ran a washcloth under the faucet and applied it to the bleeding scratches where Matthew's nails had dug into her forearms.

As she cleaned the scratches and applied antibiotic ointment to them, she could hear Emmy still crying downstairs. Matthew had stopped, obviously content that his routine had been restored. Lorelai found some gauze bandage and placed it over the largest and deepest scratches, securing it with the roll of paper tape she kept in her first aid kit. She pulled on her shirt, careful not to snag the bandaged wounds and looked in the mirror again to fix her hair.

A sickening feeling came over her as her thoughts tormented her. _What if we can't reach him? What if Matthew will always be like this? How are we going to get through this? My poor baby boy! I don't know what to do! I don't know how to help him. _Her chest tightened as the panic rose through the core of her being. Her face crumpled as the tears came. She sank down on the lid of the toilet, wrapped her arms around herself and began to cry. Her whole body shook with wracking sobs, as she let loose her inner pain. When did things start to go so very wrong with her boy? Lorelai wept as she recalled the first signs that something wasn't right with Matthew.

Lorelai sat at the kitchen table with a box of animal crackers, the twins next to her, watching her every move. They were two and a half years old. Emmy watched as her mother pulled a few animals out of the box and began to make them talk to each other.

"Hey Mrs. Giraffe, I'm gonna bite your head off," she growled as the tiger. She made the tiger chase the giraffe around the table, as Emmy giggled.

"Oh no, Mr. Tiger, you'll never catch me! I'm too fast for you," Lorelai intoned in a high voice as the giraffe.

"I'll help you," Lorelai said, in a goofy voice, as the hippo. "I'll sit on him!" The hippo caught the tiger and sat on him.

"More, Mommy," Emmy cheered, clapping her hands.

Lorelai continued her animal cracker play while Emmy joined in, babbling her own contributions. Lorelai looked over at Matthew, who sat quietly eating his crackers. He didn't seem to notice the activity going on around him, or even care to join in. Lorelai figured he was going through a phase. He had a far away look on his face, sort of dreamy, as he studied each cracker before nibbling on it.

"Hey Matty, wanna play with us," Lorelai asked her little boy. Matthew looked at her and blinked a few times, before turning back to his crackers.

"Like this, Matty," Emmy offered, showing him how to stand up the animals and make them walk. "Rarrrr," Emmy growled, giving voice to the lion.

Matthew still didn't look very interested in playing.

Lorelai was about to engage him further, when the phone rang. She jumped up and headed in the living room in search of the misplaced phone. She dug it out of the couch cushions and answered. A minute later, she was rushing around like a mad woman, gathering the twins and some toys for them. She grabbed the phone again and dialed Luke at the diner.

"Luke," She said breathlessly when he answered. "Rory is in labor! The baby is coming! Logan just called. I'm on my way to get you. The kids are all packed and I'm loading them in the car." She paused a moment while listening and rolled her eyes. "No, I won't forget to lock up the house. I'll see you in a few."

Lorelai strapped Emmy and Matthew into their car seats and tossed the diaper bag and toys in the back. She climbed in the driver's seat of the SUV and started it, glancing back at the twins before pulling out of the driveway. She couldn't believe Rory was having her baby already! It seemed like only yesterday that she and Logan announced that they were going to be parents. They had tried for some time to conceive, and were beginning to worry, when it finally happened. They were both so overjoyed.

Lorelai reached the diner and Luke ran out. He walked around to the driver side and opened the door. Lorelai got out and threw her arms around his neck.

"We're gonna be grandparents," she squealed, jumping up and down on the balls of her feet.

"Did you call your parents," Luke asked, getting into the car. "You know your mother will never let it go if you forget to call them."

"I was waiting to get you first," Lorelai said, as she climbed into the passenger side and shut the door. She buckled herself in and grabbed her cell phone from her purse. She dialed her mother's cell, in case she was out and about, and waited for her to answer.

"Hi Mom, it's Lorelai," Lorelai greeted her mother. "Yes, I know I'm the only one who calls you 'Mom,' and therefore I don't need to identify myself," Lorelai said into the phone, as she rolled her eyes. "I just called to tell you that Rory is in labor. Logan is with her at the hospital right now. He said her contractions are pretty strong so this kid may just slide out like crap from a goose. No, it's not funny Mom and no I wasn't referring to my grandchild as crap. I just picked up Luke from the diner and we're on our way now. Okay, we'll see you and Dad there. Bye."

"This kid may just slide out like crap from a goose," Luke repeated, questioningly. "I'm surprised your mother didn't have a stroke when you said that."

"Almost," Lorelai replied. "I get a lot of mileage from the shock value. The horrified gasp alone…priceless!" She chuckled and turned to check on the twins. "So guys, are you ready to become an aunt and uncle?"

Emmy looked up from the picture book she was looking at and smiled. Matthew continued to stare out the window, as the scenery flew by. It was as if he didn't hear his mother. Lorelai frowned as she tried to get Matthew's attention. He finally looked her way and gave her a small smile.

"Luke, do you think there's something wrong with Matthew," Lorelai inquired, turning to face Luke.

"No, why," Luke replied, keeping his eyes on the road.

"I don't know," Lorelai mused. "Something just seems off with him."

Why? Cause he's not as chatty and outgoing as your clone back there," Luke smirked.

"I'm serious, Luke," Lorelai frowned. "Maybe we should get his hearing checked. He isn't talking like he used to and I swear a bomb could go off at Babette and Morey's and he wouldn't even blink! Maybe he's having trouble hearing. He has had quite a few ear infections."

"That he gets from you," Luke added. "Maybe he's just quiet and shy. Remember when he went through that clingy phase with you? Maybe he likes his solitude."

"Like his daddy," Lorelai smiled. "So he's a chip off your block huh."

"I wouldn't worry so much," Luke said, placing a hand on Lorelai's and giving it a squeeze. "But if it'll make you feel better, we'll make an appointment to get his hearing checked."

"Good," Lorelai nodded, turning back to check on the kids again.

Emmy was babbling to her picture book, telling the story in her own words to her stuffed toy lizard, Mr. Wiggles. She was quite smart for her age and, like her big sister, loved books. She had a great imagination and would create all kinds of wonderful play scenarios. Lorelai loved to play along with her. Her little girl was as bright and outgoing as she was. She had Rory's brains, but her charm and personality.

"Is Mr. Wiggles being a good listener," Lorelai asked her daughter.

"Yes, Mommy," Emmy giggled. "He likes it." She hugged her lizard buddy to her and kissed his smiling mouth.

"And how about you, Matty," Lorelai inquired of her boy. "Do you like Emmy's stories?"

Matthew turned to look at his mother and smiled but said nothing. He then turned his attention to one of his brightly colored toy cars. He picked it up and began to study it in his hands, turning it over and over with rapt fascination. He had that strange dreamy look on his face again. Lorelai frowned and grabbed Luke's arm and shook it.

"See! That's what I'm talking about," she exclaimed, motioning behind her with her head. "Look at him. Don't you think it's weird?"

Luke glanced in the rear view mirror at his boy. "That our son likes his toy cars? Maybe he just likes to figure out how things work," Luke shrugged. "I used to take stuff apart as a kid and put it back together again. I loved trying to figure how things worked. That doesn't make me weird, and I don't think Matthew is weird either."

Lorelai sighed. "I don't know. Maybe you're right and I'm imagining things. I still want to get his hearing checked though."

"We'll call Dr. Peters tomorrow," Luke said reassuringly. He leaned over and gave Lorelai a peck on the cheek and a bright smile. "Today, let's just concentrate on Rory and our first grandchild being born."

"I'm gonna be a grandma," Lorelai sighed, wistfully. She gave Luke a brilliant smile of her own.

Rory lay back against Logan, after yet another grueling contraction. He sat behind her in the bed, pillows propped behind him, holding his wife throughout her labor. Rory didn't have her prosthetic legs on, so instead of stirrups she braced her thighs over Logan's bent legs, using him for leverage. She puffed, trying to maintain her breathing as another contraction began. They were coming faster now and stronger.

"Come on Ace, you can do this," Logan coached, as he wiped the sweat from her brow.

"I don't know how my mother did this for twenty-six hours," Rory groaned, as the contraction subsided.

"You're doing great," Dr. Rubin said from the end of the bed, where he was checking for dilation. "It seems like only yesterday that I delivered your brother and sister. How are they doing?"

"They're good, getting big," Rory nodded. "Oh god, here it comes again," she grunted, as another contraction hit.

"Hang in there, Ace," Logan said, kissing her cheek. "It'll be over soon. I hope. How is she looking Doc?"

"You're almost completely dilated Rory," Dr. Rubin announced, as he looked up from a sheet draped Rory.

Outside, in the waiting room, Lorelai and Luke sat and waited. When they arrived, they were actually surprised to see Mitchum and Shira Huntzberger in the waiting room. They made small talk as they waited, focusing more attention on the twins than the Huntzbergers. Neither Lorelai nor Luke had much tolerance for Logan's parents, since they treated Rory so badly. They knew they had a right to be there for the birth of their grandchild, so they handled themselves cordially, if not friendly.

Emily and Richard, on the other hand, made no pretense about their feelings for their former close friends. They were still appalled at how the Huntzbergers treated Rory like she wasn't good enough to be a part of their social circle, let alone date their son. Rory was just as good as the Huntzbergers! She was a Gilmore! Although now she was a Huntzberger by marriage, just as Emily became a Gilmore, and that meant responsibilities to the family name.

Emily knew all too well about the responsibilities that came from marrying into a wealthy, prominent family and about not fitting in. Richard's mother treated her far worse than the Huntzbergers treated Rory! She could do nothing to please Trix, no matter how hard she tried. She hoped that Rory wouldn't be put in that situation with her in-laws. As it was, Rory was about to give birth to the Huntzberger heir, the next generation in a long line of highly successful Huntzbergers. She knew that Mitchum and Shira were expecting a boy to carry on the legacy.

"So Lorelai, how is it handling twins," Shira said, with an overly sweet smile.

"Um, it's great," Lorelai replied, putting on just as fake a smile for her.

"They must really be a handful," Shira noted.

"Well, it's no problem. I have Luke to help me out. He's so great with them," Lorelai said, smiling at her husband.

"What's the matter with your boy," Mitchum asked, nodding toward Matthew, who was sitting on the floor by his mother, rocking slightly back and forth, while staring into space.

"Nothing," Lorelai snapped, trying to keep her composure. "He's just tired. It's been a long day for him," She continued, in a calmer voice. She watched Matthew, as he stared at nothing in particular.

Rory let out a yell, as she rode another brutal contraction. "I feel like I need to push," she panted. "I need to push now!"

"Okay Rory, on the next contraction I want you to bear down and push," Dr. Rubin announced from his position at the foot of the bed.

"Aaaah! Logan, this is so your fault," Rory grunted, as the next contraction began.

"Me? What did I do," Logan replied, grimacing as Rory clamped his hands in a death grip.

"I don't know," Rory whined. "You're supposed to blame your husband when you're in excruciating pain!" She screamed and began pushing.

"I can see the head," Dr. Rubin announced. "You're doing great Rory. A few more pushes and you'll be a mom."

Rory leaned forward, Logan wrapping his arms around her as he held her to him. She pushed, her face turning beet red from the effort. After what seemed like an eternity, she felt a sort of release, like a cork popping out of a bottle, and heard the first cries of her new baby. She leaned back against Logan, panting, her hair stuck to her from sweat. Logan squeezed her tightly as Dr. Rubin placed a squirming, slimy newborn on his wife's belly, the cord still attached.

"Congratulations," Dr. Rubin said. "You have a beautiful daughter."

He clamped the baby's umbilical cord and gave the scissors to Logan to cut it. He cut the cord, watching as the nurse wiped his daughter down with a towel. He glanced down at Rory, as she held their baby girl. Tears were streaming down her face. The tiny infant had light blond fuzz on her head and looked like him.

"You did it, Ace," Logan whispered in Rory's ear. "She's beautiful, even if she has no hair and, at the moment, looks like a naked mole rat!" He burst out laughing, as Rory smacked his arm.

"She does not," she said, fighting the urge to giggle. "Hey baby girl." Rory kissed the top of her daughter's head, as the infant snuggled into her body.

"It's a girl," Logan cried out, as he entered the waiting room. He couldn't help but notice his parents' faces fall at the news. "She's beautiful and Rory is doing great."

Hugs and cheers broke out among the Gilmore and Huntzberger clans. Everyone spoke at once, trying to pry information from the exhausted new father. Logan tried his best to field all their questions, before returning to Rory. Emmy, awoken from her nap by the ruckus, chattered away, clapping her hands with glee. Matthew sat on the floor, quietly watching the whole scene, then turned back to his toy car.


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's the next chapter finally! It took me forever to think of a name for Rory and Logan's baby! So I picked my own daughter's name. Lol! At least her first name anyway. It gave me some great writing material though, so it worked. Sorry it took so long to post this. I've been having computer problems and I'm no genius when it comes to fixing computers. I did start writing chapter 10 though while I had no internet, so you won't have to wait so long to read it. I have decided to write one more story after this, to complete this trilogy. Someone suggested that I expand my oneshot story "Letting Go" into a chapter story. I'm going to rework it and write a new story that fits in with the other two. It will be called "A Mother's Legacy". I'll write it after this one is finished. I hope you like this chapter. Things are going to start moving along now in the story. Please review and let me know how you like it. Reviews are the coffee that makes me do the happy dance and write faster! Lol! Thanks so much to all who reviewed!  
**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino.**

**Chapter 9: Two pudding mongers and a little mermaid**

Lorelai sat in the waiting room She decided to let the Huntzberger clan visit Rory first. Besides, Matthew didn't like crowds and would squirm and try to get away. She took the time to feed Matthew and Emmy while waiting. They were already overtired from the long day and getting bored with their toys. They sat next to Lorelai, munching on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and sippy cups full of milk. Luke had gone down to the cafeteria and surprised the kids with chocolate pudding cups. When Lorelai turned on the pout, he produced one for her too, turning her frown into an elated grin.

Emmy handed Lorelai her pudding cup to remove the lid so she could eat it. She bounced up and down, with her spoon in her mouth, in anticipation. Once the lid was removed, she dug into the creamy chocolatey goodness with gusto, spooning it into her mouth as fast as she could. Lorelai had to laugh. Emmy was definitely her child! Emmy used her little index finger to scrape the remnants of pudding from the cup, not wanting to waste a bite.

Matthew turned his unopened pudding cup in his little hands, studying it as if he'd never seen anything like it before. He glanced over at Emmy, who was devouring her pudding, and turned back to Luke. He handed his father the pudding and waited patiently, as his father tore the foil lid back and removed it. When Luke handed the pudding cup back to Matthew, the boy held the cup for a moment, staring at the plastic spoon in his right hand. Matthew wiggled the spoon in his fingers up near his face and watched it out of the corner of his eye. He then caught the stunned looks on his parents' faces and gave them a smile, digging the spoon into the pudding.

"Did you see that," Lorelai exclaimed, grabbing Luke's sleeve and shaking it. "I'm telling you, something isn't right!"

Matthew ate his pudding, giggling as Emmy tried to lick her cup clean and wound up with a chocolate ring around her mouth.

"What? I don't see a problem, Lorelai," Luke shrugged. He watched his boy lick his pudding cup the way his sister did and then laugh when he had a ring around his mouth too. "Matthew is fine," Luke stated with a nod. "A bit eccentric maybe, but he seems okay."

"I can't believe you can't see it," Lorelai frowned. "I mean, he seems fine now, but I swear he zones out on us."

Matthew finished his pudding and chased Emmy around the room, as the two of them giggled. He caught her and gave her a big hug, knocking her off balance. The two of them fell on the floor laughing. Luke scooped them both up, one under each arm, and brought the wriggling tikes over to Lorelai.

"Ugh! Jam and pudding hands," Luke groaned, placing his two sticky offspring on their feet and holding them in place, as Lorelai wiped their hands and faces clean with a wet wipe.

"You love it, admit it," Lorelai smirked, wiping a squirming Matthew's mouth. "All clean, Mr. Copycat. Whatever Emmy does, you're gonna give it a shot too huh?"

Matthew smiled and tilted his head, looking at his mother from the corner of his eye.

"You are such a flirt," Lorelai said, laughing. She gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

Matthew yawned and put his arms up to be picked up. Lorelai lifted him onto her lap. "Wore yourself out little man," she inquired, kissing the top of his curly head. "We're gonna go see your new niece soon. Do you want to see Rory's new baby?"

"Wanna see Rory's baby," Emmy chimed in when Matthew didn't answer.

"You do," Lorelai gasped. "Well, I think we can sneak in. But you have to be very quiet so you don't wake the baby." She bent down to stroke her daughter's light brown curls.

"I be quiet," Emmy said, nodding. "Shhh…" Emmy placed her little index finger to her lips to show her mother that she could indeed be quiet.

"It looks like you guys wore out Daddy," Lorelai giggled, glancing over to see Luke sitting next to her, with his head against the wall, eyes closed.

"Wake up, Daddy! No night night," Emmy said, giving her father a slap on his stomach as she stood between his legs.

"Hey you," Luke growled playfully, as he suddenly grabbed Emmy and tickled her belly. She let out a shriek of surprise and burst into a fit of giggles. "Daddy's not sleeping, silly girl, but you should be."

"No Daddy! Wanna see the baby," Emmy giggled, as Luke tickled her.

"Luke, she just finished eating chocolate pudding," Lorelai warned. "If she barfs on you, you get to clean the both of you up."

They were interrupted by a cacophony of voices, as Logan appeared, escorting his parents back to the waiting room. Lorelai watched as Mitchum shook his son's hand and gave him a pat on the arm before turning to leave with his wife. Shira smiled and actually gave her son a kiss on the cheek before leaving. Logan spotted the Gilmore and Danes clans watching the scene with raised eyebrows. He gave them a sheepish smile and a shrug, then motioned for them to come back to see Rory.

Emily and Richard headed down the hall to Rory's room. Lorelai wanted to be the last to see her daughter. Her baby just had a baby of her own and Lorelai wanted to savor those first moments of introduction with her first grandchild. She was a bit nervous actually. She felt too young to be a grandmother. And how would this affect her relationship with Rory? Rory was a mother now, with a daughter of her own. Would it bring them closer or create more distance? Rory had Logan for support to raise her baby girl. She had no one when she raised Rory. Things were about to change and the pang in her heart told her that it really was time to let go. Rory was no longer her baby girl, but a grown woman, a wife and now mother. Life sure moved fast.

"She's beautiful," Emily announced, breaking Lorelai from her thoughts.

"You and Dad aren't going to stay for a while," Lorelai asked softly, stroking Matthew's back, as he slept on her shoulder.

"I have an early meeting tomorrow, Lorelai," Richard replied.

"Yes, we're both actually very tired," Emily added. "We'll let you have some time with our new baby now, but we'll be back tomorrow to relieve you."

"Fat chance, Mom," Lorelai chuckled. "You're gonna have to pry my granddaughter from my arms with a crow bar!"

"Richard, do we have one of those in the trunk of your car," Emily inquired of her husband, a wicked gleam in her eye.

"I do believe so," Richard said, grinning. "If not, I'm sure I can borrow the jaws of life from the local fire department for a nice donation."

Lorelai gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"Goodnight Lorelai, Luke," Emily said, smiling. She kissed Emmy and Matthew on the top of their heads. "Goodnight, my dear babies. You behave for your mother."

"Good night Mom," Lorelai said, leaning forward to give her mother a peck on the cheek. "Night Dad," Lorelai said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Lorelai decided that Matthew and Emmy had enough excitement for one day, as they were both fast asleep. She didn't want to wake them and then have to deal with the crankiness that ensued, so she gently placed Matthew in Luke's arms and headed down to the maternity ward. Luke didn't seem to mind not seeing the new addition to the family: he would see her soon enough. He wanted Lorelai to have the opportunity to see Rory, so he stayed in the waiting room with his own sleeping little ones.

Lorelai walked down the hall until she came to a room with the name Huntzberger on the doorway. The door was open and she could hear a tiny newborn's cries. She stood still in the doorway for a moment, taking in the sight that greeted her. There was her only child, exhausted and absolutely glowing, as she sat up in bed, her husband at her side. Logan sat next to Rory, leaning over to gaze in awe at his new baby girl. He had a huge smile on his face, the smile of a new father who was completely in love with his baby.

Rory looked positively radiant and she cradled her newborn daughter in her arms. Lorelai knew that look well. She had the same look on her face when she got to hold Rory for the first time. She silently watched her daughter bond with the next generation and her eyes filled with tears. Less than five years before, she had almost lost her then only child in that horrible car accident and now, against all odds, not only did Rory survive that accident, but she was now bringing forth new life. The sight of her daughter celebrating those first hours of new motherhood was so overwhelming for Lorelai that her tears spilled over, coursing down her cheeks in glistening rivers. The sob that escaped her alerted Rory to her presence.

"Mom," Rory exclaimed, looking over at the doorway. "I was beginning to think you'd gone home."

"Well, I was considering it," Lorelai said in a voice choked with emotion, "but I figured I'm here, I might as well take a peek at the kid." She chuckled, wiping her tear stained cheeks with her fingertips.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Ariel…"

"You named her after the Little Mermaid? Oh Emmy's gonna love that! Was there Demerol involved in this decision," Lorelai joked.

"That's what I was wondering," Logan piped in.

"Stop you two," Rory frowned. "I happen to love that movie. It was one of my favorites when I was a little girl. So no mocking my name choice! Besides, you didn't hear her whole name."

"If her middle name is Belle then there will be much mocking," Lorelai giggled, placing her finger near the tiny girl so she could grab it.

"Oh you're funny," Rory said, rolling her eyes. "Her full name is Ariel Lorelai Gilmore Huntzberger. I didn't want to give up the family name either. Grandpa was ecstatic, by the way."

"The fourth generation Lorelai," Lorelai murmured, her eyes beginning to tear again.

"I wanted to name her after the most important person in my life," Rory stated, cuddling her baby girl close. "Next to you of course," she added, patting Logan's hand.

"Can I hold her," Lorelai choked out, trying not to cry again.

Rory placed Ariel into her mother's arms. Lorelai studied her newborn granddaughter's features as best as she could through her teary eyes. She brought the baby up to kiss the light blond fuzz on her tiny head. The infant opened her eyes and yawned, stretching her arms above her head. Ariel had almost no eyebrows but her eyes were just like Rory's…just like her own. Otherwise she was a Huntzberger for sure.

"She's so beautiful," Lorelai whispered, as Ariel wrapped her tiny hand around Lorelai's index finger. "I can't believe I'm a grandma. Hey Ariel. Don't you let that sea witch take your voice, or she'll have me to deal with. Of course, if Prince Eric comes looking for you he'll have to get through Grandpa first."

"Not if Daddy kicks his ass first," Logan smirked. "No one gets to my princess without my approval."

"Was your father as over protective with Honor," Rory inquired.

"When he wasn't working or away on business," Logan said, smirking. "He was more concerned with keeping MY ass in line. Honor knew how to take care of herself as far as getting around his rules."

Lorelai didn't hear a word of the exchange between Logan and Rory: she was mesmerized by her granddaughter. She rocked Ariel in her arms as the infant fell asleep.

"I'm so proud of you hon," Lorelai said softly, turning to gaze at her daughter with misty eyes. "You're gonna be a great mom."

"I learned from the best," Rory replied, leaning against her mother, her eyes heavy from exhaustion.

"Well, I'll let you get some rest," Lorelai stated, handing Ariel to Logan. "I've got to get your brother and sister home and in bed. They tried so hard to stay awake, but not even chocolate pudding could keep them from finally passing out."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Rory said, yawning. "Bring Matthew and Emmy then. I'm sure Ariel will be ready to greet her adoring public once she gets her beauty sleep."

"Yeah, well all princesses need their beauty sleep," Lorelai acknowledged, "otherwise the prince wouldn't be able to deliver the kiss of life to wake them, so they could live happily ever after."

"Mom, you've watched way too many Disney movies," Rory chuckled.

"Blame it on your sister," Lorelai giggled. "All Emmy wants to watch are her Disney princess videos, when Matty isn't obsessed with Scooby Doo that is."

"Well who doesn't love Scooby Doo," Logan stated with a grin.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Lorelai said, kissing Rory on the cheek. "You did good, babe. Mommy is so proud!" She hugged Rory tightly. "I love you sweets."

"I love you too, Mom, now go on and let me get some sleep," Rory replied with a yawn.

Luke hadn't moved since Lorelai placed Matthew in his arms. He just sat, holding two sleeping toddlers, not daring to shift his weight lest they wake up and scream. His arms were falling asleep. He grimaced, feeling the drool soaking into his shirt, as Emmy sucked her thumb on his right shoulder. Matthew was positioned against his left shoulder, his hot breath tickling Luke's neck. He had to smile though, noting how both of his children had an arm around each other, as if hugging in their sleep. They always seemed to gravitate to each other.

Luke had recently built toddler beds for them with intricately carved headboards. He built them to accommodate the growing toddlers. The beds could easily be converted to fit single sized mattresses. He had wanted to wait before setting the new beds up but, since Emmy had taken to climbing out of the crib at night, he knew it was time. On more than one occasion, he or Lorelai would check on them before retiring for the night, only to find Emmy in Matthew's crib, curled up next to him, thumb in her mouth, Mr. Wiggles tucked under the arm that was draped over her brother.

Luke closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall as he let his mind drift. What if something was wrong with Matthew? For the most part, he seemed fine. On the other hand, there were times when he would drift away, space out as if he couldn't hear or see them. Maybe it was time to have the doctor check him out. Luke had never raised a child from birth, but Lorelai had, and he trusted her. If she felt something wasn't right with their son, then something wasn't right. Who was he to argue with her experience?

But what if something was wrong with Matthew? What if he was losing his hearing? How would he deal with that? He was still so new at this parenting thing. He hadn't gone through any real health scares with April except for the appendicitis that led to her hospitalization. Even then, he called Lorelai for support because it freaked him out. This was his boy and Matthew was so young. He decided that he wouldn't let his mind run scenarios that he had no way of knowing were true. He and Lorelai would take Matthew to Dr. Peters and start from there.

"Well don't you all look cozy?" A voice next to him started him. Luke opened his eyes to see Lorelai standing next to him, smiling.

"I was just thinking," Luke replied in a hoarse whisper.

"Right," Lorelai smirked. "With your eyes closed and your mouth hanging open? I could've sworn I heard a snore too."

"You did not," Luke snorted. "I was thinking, not sleeping. You wanna take one of these," he said, gesturing to the sleeping twins. "My arms are numb."

"Come on baby boy," Lorelai whisper, lifting Matthew gently from his father's arms and positioning him against her own shoulder. "Daddy's cranky. It's way past his bedtime."

"Am not," Luke grunted, standing up with Emmy in his arms. He picked up the diaper bag while Lorelai grabbed the bag of toys.

"So is she as cute as everyone says she is," Luke inquired, as they headed for the elevator. He pushed the 'down' button and waited for the elevator to arrive.

"She looks like Logan," Lorelai remarked, "right down to the light blond fuzz on her head. Her eyes are Rory's though. I'd recognize them anywhere."

"It's good that she got something from your side," Luke nodded. The elevator arrived and they got in. Luke pressed the button for the first floor as the doors closed.

"They named her Ariel Lorelai Gilmore Huntzberger," Lorelai announced wistfully.

"After The Little Mermaid? Emmy's gonna love that," Luke chuckled.

"She's the fourth generation Lorelai in my family," Lorelai said, smiling.

"So that's why your father was on cloud nine," Luke said. "The Gilmore name lives on."

They exited the elevator and headed for the doors leading out to the parking lot.

"She named her after you," Luke noted. He looked over at Lorelai and smiled.

"She named her after me," Lorelai repeated with a beaming smile. "And The Little Mermaid," she added with a giggle.

They loaded the twins into their car seats, being careful not to wake them, and placed the bags in the back. The ride home was quiet, which actually surprised Luke. He figured that Lorelai would be talking incessantly about the new addition to the family. She sat in the passenger seat, gazing out the window, a sweet smile on her face. Every now and then she'd sigh, turn to him and smile, then turn back to the window.

They were both exhausted when they arrived home. They each unbuckled a toddler, grabbed a bag and walked up to the front door. Luke unlocked it and Lorelai headed upstairs with Matthew. She could hear Luke locking up for the night behind her. She was in the process of changing Matthew's wet diaper when Luke entered the room with Emmy. Lorelai swiftly change Matthew into his pajamas before her groggy boy woke fully. Luke changed Emmy into her pajamas as she whined about not seeing the baby.

Once both children were freshly diapered and in pajamas, they were tucked into their beds, blanky and Mr. Wiggles in hand. Emmy rolled over and popped her thumb in her mouth. Matthew wrapped himself up in his blue blanky, rubbing it against his cheek as he yawned. Lorelai kissed her babies goodnight, rubbing their backs as they rapidly fell back to sleep. Even in their own beds now, they both had to sleep next to each other. The two little beds were placed side by side with a little nightlight between them.

Lorelai shuffled into the bedroom, completely spent from the long day. She grabbed a pair of pajamas from her dresser and headed into the bathroom. She quickly changed for bed and washed and moisturized her face. She was brushing her teeth when she heard a soft rap on the door. Luke entered, dressed in his usual sweat pants and t-shirt. He grabbed his toothbrush and stood at the other sink. It was funny how something so mundane as the bedtime ritual could bring such a feeling of warmth and security.

They left the bathroom, turning out the light and dropping dirty clothes in the hamper, as they made their way to the bed. Nothing looked more inviting, after spending many hours sitting in uncomfortable waiting room chairs, than that bed. They climbed in and cuddled up close. Luke lay on his back as Lorelai draped an arm and leg over him.

"Good night Grandpa," she sighed sleepily, kissing him tenderly.

"Good night Grandma," he replied, returning the gesture. Lorelai giggled and yawned.


	10. Chapter 10

**Here the next chapter. It actually didn't take me too long to write this time! Most of it was written today, actually. Even though this was a very angsty chapter, it was one of my favorites to write. I love to write raw emotion and by the time this chapter is done, you'll just want to give poor Lorelai a hug! We are beginning to get into the meat of this story now. Please review and make my day! It really does make me write faster. I'd start writing chapter 11 now, but as it's 3:30am I really need to sleep! Lol! I'll start it tomorrow so everyone can find out the aftermath of this dark day.Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! You are all awesome!**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino.**

**Chapter 10: Questions**

Time marks the passage of life's treasured moments, of births, first smiles, and the joyous laughter bubbling forth from a chubby baby. Time marks events, birthdays, holidays, triumphant accomplishments and goals. Time also marks change, the passage of moments in increments so seemingly small that they go unnoticed. But eventually these small moments add up and become part of the big picture. It is in the big picture that questions are answered, as time brings clarity to the puzzling moments.

Lorelai and Luke brought Matthew to his pediatrician to have his hearing checked. Everything was normal. His vision was normal as well. Blood work showed no signs of illness or disease. Matthew was a healthy two and a half year old boy. Relieved to find nothing physically wrong with their son, Luke and Lorelai decided that Matthew was just quirky and a bit eccentric.

As time passed Matthew began to slowly change. He stopped interacting with other children. Even Emmy received very little attention from her brother. He stopped using the words that once rolled off his tongue at a year old and whereas Emmy now spoke in full sentences, Matthew didn't utter a word. Dr. Peters was concerned with Matthew's lack of language skills and referred him to a speech therapist for an evaluation. At three and a half years old, Matthew should have had an extensive vocabulary. He showed no interest in working with the speech therapist and became increasingly agitated around new people.

He zoned out much more frequently now and preferred objects to people. He didn't like to be picked up or hugged and had to have a very rigid routine. If the structure was broken, he would melt down and tantrum. These tantrums could last hours. It was now painfully apparent that Matthew was not developing normally. Luke and Lorelai could no longer ignore the signs. Their boy was nowhere near ready to begin preschool in the fall.

The bells above the door rang out as Emmy bounced into the diner one day. Lorelai was right behind, holding Matthew's hand. Emmy climbed up on a stool at the counter and began spinning it. When she spotted her father coming out of the kitchen with his hands full of plates, she abruptly stopped. She rested her head on her hands, her elbows on the table, and turned on the full hundred-watt smile.

"Daddydaddydaddy," Emmy called out. "Hi Daddy!"

"Hey Sweetpea," Luke answered, giving her a quick kiss on the top of her head as he passed by with the plates full of food.

"I'm hungry! I want a cheeseburger and French fries and chocolate milk," Emmy rattled off for her father.

"Me too," Lorelai announced, sitting Matthew at a nearby table. "Except I want coffee with mine. Emmy, come sit next to your brother. Matty, what do you want?"

When Matthew didn't respond, Emmy chimed in, "He wants grilled cheese. He always wants grilled cheese Mommy."

"Two cheeseburgers with fries, a grilled cheese, two chocolate milks and one coffee coming right up," Luke said, writing it down on his order pad. He put the order in to Caesar in the kitchen then grabbed a mug and the coffee pot for Lorelai.

Matthew sat at the table staring at himself in a spoon. He then held the spoon up and wiggled it in his fingers next to his face. He rocked slightly back and forth as he wiggled the spoon. Lorelai was glad for the lull in the diner. Less people meant less stress for Matthew. Lorelai sipped her coffee as she watched his unusual behavior.

Luke brought their food out and placed each plate in front of the intended recipient. Emmy grabbed the ketchup bottle and tried to pour some onto her cheeseburger with no success. Lorelai took the bottle from her, added ketchup to her burger and made a good sized puddle for her to dip her fries in. She gave herself a puddle of ketchup and one for Matthew too. He completely ignored his mother and began to dip his grilled cheese into the ketchup puddle then take little nibbles. He ate his fries with just as much attention to detail, one fry at a time, each bite dipped in ketchup.

The bells above the door rang out once more. Lorelai looked up to see Rory entering with Ariel in her stroller. She jumped up and helped her daughter wrestle the bulky stroller through the doorway and then pushed it over to the table where Matthew and Emmy were. Emmy jumped down from her chair and ran over to see Ariel. She greeted her little niece with a hug and began to unbuckle the toddler.

Luke came over with a high chair for Ariel and Rory placed the squirming baby in and fastened the tray. She snagged a fry from her mother and popped it in her mouth as she pulled up a chair. When she spotted the frown on Lorelai's face, she smiled and wrapped her arms around her mother, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Mommy doesn't like when you take her fries," Emmy scolded her sister.

"That's okay Emmy, Mommy takes my fries too, so she doesn't really mind," Rory said, grabbing another fry from her mother's plate and dragging it through the puddle of ketchup.

"Hey thief, get your own fries," Lorelai said, swatting Rory's hand.

"See, I told you," Emmy giggled. Lorelai grabbed one of Emmy's fries and ate it. "Hey! Not fair Mommy!"

"All's fair in love and French fries," Lorelai replied to her little girl, as her elder daughter giggled. "Remember Emmy…sharing is caring," Lorelai stated solemnly.

"I bet Barney doesn't have to share his French fries," Emmy grumbled with a pout.

Lorelai smiled and placed one of her fries on Emmy's plate.

"Here Ariel," Emmy said, handing a fry to her little niece. "You can have one of my fries."

Ariel took the fry in her pudgy hand and stuck the tip in her mouth. She chewed a bite then stretched her arm out toward Emmy's plate.

"Here baby girl," Rory said, taking the fry and dipping it in some ketchup. She handed the fry back to her daughter and watched as Ariel licked the ketchup off.

"Mmm," Ariel said, as she stuck her fry out for her mother to try.

"Thank you, Mommy loves French fries," Rory said, pretending to take a bite of the fry in her daughter's outstretched fist.

A group of kids from the high school came bounding in, chattering away as they pulled two tables together. Kirk was getting into a debate with Luke over whether the croutons in his salad were parmesan or garlic.

"They're croutons," Luke snapped. "What difference is it if they're parmesan or garlic!"

"Garlic makes me break out in hives, " Kirk whined.

"They're little pieces of toasted bread," Luke roared. "Pick 'em off if you don't want 'em!"

"Hey! Is someone gonna take our orders," one of the teenagers called out across the room.

"Hold your horses," Luke bellowed. "Kirk! Eat the damn croutons or don't! I don't care!"

"But if they're garlic, then I'll have garlic crumbs in my salad," Kirk said. "I don't have any antihistamine on me. Mother always says to carry some just in case. I keep forgetting."

Lorelai watched as Matthew began to tug at his ears and rock back and forth, as the once quiet diner became loud and boisterous. Patty and Babette entered laughing uproariously at the latest gossip.

"You shoulda seen 'em Patty," Babette screeched. "He was runnin' down the middle of the street naked and she was chasin' him screamin' while shootin' at his ass with a BB gun! Oh! Sorry kids," she added, noticing the little ones.

"I'll bet his girlfriend isn't gonna fair much better," Patty howled. "Luke, be a doll and bring us a couple of iced teas."

"We were here first," a pimply-faced boy snapped.

"Oh pipe down," Patty called out, "You'll get served."

"Oh Rory, doll, we didn't see you," Babette exclaimed, rushing over to plant kisses on Ariel's cheeks. "Look at this gorgeous baby, would ya! I could just eat her up!"

"Can't you just make me another salad without the croutons," Kirk called out to Luke, who was in the kitchen.

Luke rushed out from the kitchen, stuck his hand in Kirk's salad and threw a fistful of croutons into the trash. "There! Eat it or get the hell out," he roared at the trembling man.

"How do I know where that hand has been," Kirk grimaced.

"That's it! Out!" Luke grabbed Kirk by the back of his shirt and tossed him out the door. "Any other complaints?"

Matthew had decided that he'd had enough. He let out a shriek and began hitting himself on the sides of his head with his fists. Emmy jumped up from her seat and ran over to Rory. She climbed up into Rory's lap and began crying. Matthew continued to scream, sliding down off his chair onto the floor, arms and legs flailing, kicking and hitting anyone within reach.

"Mommy, make him stop," Emmy sobbed. "I don't want him to bite me again."

"Matty, baby, come on," Lorelai said, as she tried to gather her tanrumming boy in her arms. "It's okay Matty." He struggled even harder in her embrace, as he pinched her arms.

"Mom, we need to get him out of here," Rory said.

"Check out the little brat havin' a meltdown," one of the teens called out.

"Yeah, if I acted like that when I was little, my dad woulda throttled me," another boy retorted with a laugh.

"You think this is funny," Lorelai yelled. "You think we just encourage this kind of behavior?"

"Lorelai, honey, calm down," Patty stated, trying to defuse the situation.

"No! I won't calm down! I'm sick and tired of people looking at me like Matthew's tantrums are all my fault," Lorelai said, her voice strangled with emotion. "I didn't do anything wrong and I'm not a bad mother!"

"No one said you were sugar," Babette said, sympathetically.

"What the hell is going on out here," Luke growled, coming out of the kitchen. "Jeez Lorelai, get him out of here!"

"I'm trying! He won't move," Lorelai yelled back.

"Take him home! Now! He's out of control," Luke barked. He strode across the room in four steps and picked his screaming son up off the floor. Matthew kicked his father and Luke, in his frustration, turned the boy over and administered a few swats to his bottom.

"Oh, so you think spanking him is gonna get him to snap out of it," Lorelai cried out in frustration.

"What do you want me to do, Lorelai," Luke bellowed. "I've got a diner to run! Just get him home and we'll deal with this later!" He stormed off into the kitchen to retrieve orders.

"Fine! Come on Emmy," Lorelai yelled, gathering their things. Emmy continued to cling to Rory, crying.

"No Mommy, I wanna stay with Rory," Emmy sobbed.

"Look Mom, I'll take Emmy with me for a while," Rory said, lifting Ariel from the high chair. "I'll take her to a movie so you have some quiet time to settle Matthew down."

Lorelai said nothing but continued to make her way outside, dragging a screaming Matthew. She opened the SUV and wrestled him into his car seat. Rory followed behind, pushing Ariel in her stroller, as Emmy trotted along side. Once Matthew was fastened snuggly into his seat, Lorelai removed Emmy's car seat and walked over to Rory's car. She installed the seat in the back, next to Ariel's. She looked at her own car, parked in the space ahead of Rory and could see Matthew flinging his head back against the seat, his screams muffled by the closed car door.

Rory looked down at her mother's arms, noticing the bleeding scratches for the first time.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," she said, with genuine concern. "If I'd have know that Matthew was going to meltdown this bad, I wouldn't have suggested we meet at the diner for lunch."

"You couldn't have known, hon," Lorelai said wearily.

"But you're hurt," Rory said softly, pointing out the scratches on her mother's arms.

"I'm fine. I've gotta get him home before he hurts himself," Lorelai murmured. "The last time he did this he ended up banging his head so hard on the coffee table that he had to get stitches."

"Oh my god, Mom," Rory gasped. "When did it get so bad?"

"I don't know," Lorelai mumbled, her eyes filling with tears. "Luke and I have been fighting and I just don't know what to do."

Rory wrapped her arms around her mother and held her. "Maybe it's time to seek out a specialist in child development," Rory muttered softly in Lorelai's ear. "You can't go on like this, Mom."

"I'll talk to Luke about it," Lorelai said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I've really got to get Matthew home."

"I'll bring Emmy back later," Rory said. "She'll be fine. I know this really upset her, but she'll be okay. She loves to play with Ariel and I'll take her to a movie to get her mind off it. We'll see you later."

"Thanks for doing this, sweets," Lorelai said, giving her daughter a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Lorelai scooped Emmy up in her arms and showered her with hugs and kisses, then set her down again. She returned to her car and climbed into the drivers seat. Looking into the rear view mirror, she could see that Matthew had removed his shoes and socks and was struggling to pull off his shirt, the harness preventing him from accomplishing that goal. He was still screaming in agitation, his little face tear stained, the sides of his face red from pummeling himself. She started the car and headed home.

Once the car began to move, Matthew calmed down slightly, the movement soothing him. Within a few minutes, his screaming had settled down to hoarse, gasping sobs. He grabbed his beloved blanky from the seat next to him and bunched it up in his hands, hugging it to his body. Lorelai decided to take advantage of the lull and drove around for a while, hoping he would fall asleep. She was exhausted, the kind of exhaustion that could only be compared to battle fatigue. Every muscle in her body ached and her head felt like it was going to explode. Her stomach was in knots and her nerves still trembled, ready for the next battle. She sighed and drove around town, listening to Matthew's ragged breathing and muffled sobs.

After driving around for a half hour, Lorelai decided to head back home. Matthew had stopped crying and was now staring out the window. Lorelai pulled the car into the driveway and shut off the engine. She sat back for a moment and took a deep breath. She dragged herself out of the car and walked around to retrieve Matthew. After opening the door, she was greeted by her son's weary countenance. She unbuckled him and lifted him from his car seat. His body hung limp in her arms. He no longer snuggled against her or gave her hugs. No sooner had she set him on the ground to retrieve his discarded clothing, than a neighbor decided now was a perfect time to mow his lawn. The sound startled Matthew and set him off again. He screamed and began to strip the rest of his clothing off. Lorelai, also startled, slammed her head on the door frame in an effort to get out of the vehicle.

Now she was angry! She had finally gotten her son to calm down and now he was agitated again! She cussed as she rubbed the growing knot on the top of her head. When she turned, Matthew was completely naked and running around the front lawn in circles, with his hands over his ears. Some of the neighbors, alerted by Matthew's screaming, had gathered on their front lawns to view the spectacle.

"What are you looking at," Lorelai shouted to her nosy neighbors.

"Sugar, you need some help," Babette inquired, running over from her porch. "Waddaya starin' at? Stop gawkin' and give her some privacy," she screeched at her neighbors.

Matthew stopped running long enough to pee on the lawn, to the horrified gasps of the neighbors, and Lorelai took advantage of that moment to scoop him up under one arm as soon as he finished. She carried her squirming naked boy quickly to the house, as Babette gathered Matthew's clothes from the lawn and followed her. Once inside the privacy of her home, Lorelai dashed upstairs with Matthew and brought him to his bedroom. She diapered him and put a sleeper, that she'd cut the feet out of, on him backwards so he couldn't remove it.

"Lorelai, sugar, I put Matthew's clothes on the couch. Ya need anything else while I'm here," Babette called out from the bottom of the stairs.

"Thanks Babette, but I've got it," Lorelai called out. "Luke'll be home soon."

"Call if you need anything, doll," Babette yelled up the stairs. "And don't worry about the nosy neighbors. I'll set 'em straight!"

"Thanks again Babette," Lorelai shouted over the roar of the lawnmower. She gasped as she remembered the windows were open in the house. "Wait! Babette, could you please shut all the windows for me? The lawnmower is driving Matthew crazy."

"Sure thing doll," Babette yelled back, as she ran around the house shutting all the windows.

Lorelai tried to soothe Matthew, as he cried and rolled around on the floor holding his ears.

"Lorelai! I closed the windows. I'm gonna go," Babette called out. "Morey, I'm comin' home," she screeched loudly, as she exited through the side door.

Luke pulled his truck up in the driveway and turned off the ignition. He sat for a moment rubbing his temples. He had a throbbing headache and wasn't looking forward to what surely would be round two with Lorelai. Matthew's increasingly out of control behavior was putting a serious strain on their relationship. He sighed and got out of the truck, slamming the door behind him in frustration.

The house was quiet, as Luke walked up the porch steps. He tried the front door but it was locked. He pulled out his key and unlocked it. He turned the knob, expecting the door to yield to his efforts, only to slam his shoulder against the unmoving object. He let lose a string of obscenities, as he rubbed his shoulder. Apparently Matthew was still in rare form, as Lorelai must have bolted the door to prevent him from running out into the street. After trying the other doors, to no avail, Luke climbed in through Rory's bedroom window, which was unlocked.

It had been hours since the debacle in the diner, and Luke could only hope that things had settled down. He surveyed the premises, spotting Matthew's discarded clothes and shoes tossed carelessly on the couch. Everything else seemed to be intact. He could hear the repetitive clacking of Lorelai's sewing machine emanating from their bedroom, and he drew in a deep breath as he ascended the stairs. He peeked into the twins' bedroom. Emmy wasn't there but Matthew was sound asleep, face down, on his knees, with his butt in the air and his blanky bunched under his chest. He silently closed the door and walked across the hall.

The door was ajar, the light from the bedroom illuminating the darkened hallway with a ribbon of soft glow. Luke pushed the door open slightly and braced himself. He peered in and spotted Lorelai diligently at work at her sewing machine. She was making little one-piece jumpers for Matthew that zipped up the back. The texture of certain fabrics seemed to irritate their son and he often stripped naked, usually in public places, much to the embarrassment of his overwrought parents.

Luke entered and softly stepped up behind Lorelai. He placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump and jab herself with the pin she was inserting into the seam of the sleeve on the latest garment she was working on.

"Crap! Luke, you scared the hell out of me," She scolded, placing her bleeding fingertip into her mouth.

"Sorry," he muttered, backing away. He sat down on the bed and began to untie his boots. "We seem to be short a kid," he commented, as he removed his boot.

"Emmy is with Rory," Lorelai replied shortly. Apparently she was still angry with him.

"Did Matthew eat dinner before he passed out," Luke inquired, making small talk.

"No, I didn't feed him! I just let him scream for hours till he finally fell asleep," Lorelai snarked. "Yes, he ate."

"Why the hell are you going off on me," Luke snapped, throwing the other boot across the room in anger. "I just asked you a question!"

Lorelai spun around from the sewing machine to face him, her eyes blazing with pent up anger.

"Why the hell am I going off on you, Mr. I've-got-a-diner-to-run," Lorelai repeated loudly. "I needed you today Luke! I needed you to help me with Matthew! I can't do this all by myself," she lamented, the pitch of her voice rising along with her frustration.

"What the hell was I supposed to do," Luke growled, "I was working!"

"Jesus, Luke, I've had to give up going to the Dragonfly and work from home because Matthew needs constant supervision, and you're complaining? What about me," Lorelai shouted. "We can't keep a baby sitter, so I have to stay home and deal with him. I needed your support today and you wouldn't help!"

"If he's that hard to deal with, then don't come into the diner with him anymore," Luke roared. "Then you won't have to worry about him having a meltdown!"

"I was meeting Rory for lunch," Lorelai yelled. "I needed to get out and feel normal for once!"

"Well obviously our kid is not normal, so we can't live a normal life," Luke shouted, standing up. "You don't think I need a break too? Working at the diner IS my break from this insanity!"

"This 'insanity' is our son," Lorelai shrieked, "and he needs help!" She inhaled a ragged breath, letting it out slowly in an effort to calm herself down. "WE need help," she added, her voice choked with pain.

"Maybe he needs to be in some kind of mental hospital," Luke stated wearily.

Lorelai snapped, her anger and frustration mounting a stranglehold on her good sense.

"Get out," she screamed at the top of her lungs, as she shoved Luke toward the door.

"Lorelai," Luke growled, "You're gonna wake Matthew!"

"I don't care," she screamed. "If he wakes up, YOU can deal with him! I'm done! Now get the hell out!" She shoved him through the bedroom door and slammed it shut.

Luke paced outside in the hallway, debating whether or not to confront Lorelai, but decided it was best to let her calm down. This was beginning to be a regular occurrence and he didn't know how much more he, or their marriage, could take. He padded over to check on Matthew, certain that the boy would be awake, but found him sleeping soundly. The little boy was in a deep sleep, completely spent from the day's events. Luke dragged his exhausted body downstairs and flopped down on the couch to wait for Rory to bring Emmy home.

Luke's mind was buzzing with questions. What now? Would Matthew ever be normal? What was really wrong with him? Why did he tune everyone out? Why did loud noises send him into an apoplectic fit? Why did he stop speaking? Why the intense fascination with inanimate objects? How was this affecting poor little Emmy? Did she feel left out because of all the attention her brother was getting?

Luke must have dosed off because a knock at the door startled him. He jumped up and let Rory into the house. He'd forgotten to unbolt the front door. Rory handed him a sleeping Emmy and inquired about her mother. Luke filled her in. She needed to get Ariel home, but told Luke to tell Lorelai she'd call her tomorrow. After Rory left, Luke carried Emmy upstairs and put her to bed.

Luke closed up the house and turned off the lights. He dragged his sore body upstairs to check on Lorelai. He wasn't sure she'd even let him in the room, let alone their bed, but he needed to try to make things better. The bedroom was dark, but Luke could make out Lorelai's form in bed. He could hear her sniffling and figured she was awake. He quietly undressed and pulled on a pair of sweat pants. Lorelai remained silent. He went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, then returned to the bedroom. Lorelai still said nothing.

Luke climbed into bed and lay on his back. He could tell by her ragged breathing that Lorelai was crying. It broke his heart. He turned to her, brushing the tears from her cheek gently with his thumb and whispered, "I'm an ass. And I'm sorry… for everything. I love you so much, Lorelai."

"I'm sorry too," Lorelai choked out. "Matty needs help and so do we."

Luke kissed her tenderly, taking her into his arms, as she wept uncontrollably.


	11. Chapter 11

**Here's the next chapter and you only had to wait a week this time! I made it extra long too! We will see how Lorelai fared after her bad day and Matthew will finally get a diagnosis. I love reviews. They inspire me to write faster, so please leave a review and let me know what you think! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. If you want me to do the happy dance again (and believe me, it's truly a sight to behold!) please press the pretty purple button. I stayed up till 6am to finish this chapter and post it for you all. Okay, need sleep now before I start drooling on my keyboard from dilirium! Lol! **

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino.**

**Chapter 11: Answers**

"Mommy! I gotta go potty! Mommy? I gotta go pee pee bad!"

The monitor crackled next to the bed with Emmy's persistent pleas. Lorelai opened one swollen eyelid partially and groaned. She didn't want to move. She closed her eye and felt the bed shift as Luke got up and padded out into the hallway. From the monitor, she could hear him open the bedroom door and Emmy running for the bathroom. Her head still hurt and she slipped back into an exhausted sleep, knowing Luke was tending to the kids on his day off.

Luke listened outside the bathroom door, waiting for Emmy to finish.

"Don't forget to wash your hands," Luke called out through the closed door.

"I need help Daddy," Emmy said. "I can't turn on the water."

Luke opened the door and turned the faucet on in the sink. Emmy stood on her toes and placed her hands under the water. Luke moved her foaming hand soap near her and she pressed the pump, dispensing a foamy pillow of soap into her hand. She rubbed her hands together then rinsed them under the water. After drying her hands, Emmy started for the door.

"Wait," Luke said, stopping the little girl in her tracks. "Flush please," he said, pointing to the toilet.

Emmy giggled. "Sorry Daddy," she said as she flushed the toilet. "Daddy? Can you make pancakes for breakfast? Matty likes pancakes. If you make him pancakes, he will be happy and won't cry so much."

Luke was touched by his little girl's genuine love for her brother. "Let's take the monitor with us and you can help Daddy make pancakes. Let's let Matty and Mommy sleep for a while. They both had a hard day yesterday."

"Can we make chocolate chip pancakes for Mommy," Emmy inquired. "Matty beated her up bad. He doesn't mean it. He jus' doesn't know how to talk and tell us what he wants. He didn't mean to hurt Mommy but she was crying. I saw her."

"Well, I think Daddy had something to do with Mommy crying as well," Luke muttered guiltily.

"Mommy says chocolate chip pancakes make her happy and I want her to be happy," Emmy said, nodding. "Chocolate chip pancakes are like little kisses for boo boos. Mommy needs her boo boos kissed, like she kisses Matty and me's boo boos."

"How did you get to be so smart," Luke wondered aloud, as he scooped up his little girl in his arms.

"I watch TV with Mommy," Emmy said proudly. Luke laughed as he carried her downstairs to the kitchen.

Lorelai tossed and turned in bed, plagued by disturbing dreams. An incessant ringing was making her want to scream. She was vaguely aware of what was causing the annoying sound, but she had no desire to answer the cell phone next to her bed. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She'd spent the entire night crying and had gotten very little sleep. Now, try as she might, she seemed doomed to another day of sleepless exhaustion. She yanked the covers over her head, hoping that whoever was trying desperately to reach her would just get a clue and leave a message.

Luke and Emmy were busily preparing pancakes for breakfast, Emmy chattering away, when they were startled by frantic knocking on the front door. Luke wiped his hands on a dish towel he had wrapped around his waist, and told Emmy to sit at the table till he came back. He opened the door and a frantic Sookie barged in. She immediately caught sight of Luke's disheveled appearance, the t-shirt, sweat pants, hair sticking up at all angles and bare feet.

"Oh my god! Did I wake you," She inquired, noting the bags under his tired eyes with a frown.

"Nah, I've been up for a while," Luke shrugged. "Emmy and I are making breakfast."

"Have you seen Lorelai? I've tried calling her but she won't answer her cell," Sookie exclaimed. "She was supposed to organize the Blackwell baby shower! I can't reach her and I don't know where anything is and the guests are supposed to be arriving in two hours! I'm in charge of the food. That's what I do! Lorelai was supposed to take care of everything else." She was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Calm down, Sookie," Luke said, pointing toward the stairs. "She's upstairs in bed. She had another bad day with Matthew yesterday."

"Oh no! Is she okay," Sookie gasped, clamping a hand over her mouth.

"I don't know," Luke answered honestly. "She hasn't spoken much. Go on up. I've gotta get back to my pancakes before they burn."

Sookie trotted up the stairs and knocked on the bedroom door. "Lorelai honey, it's Sookie." A groan alerted her that her friend was at least somewhat conscious so she entered. "Lorelai, why aren't you answering your phone? I've been trying to reach you. You were supposed to come in today remember? The Blackwell baby shower?"

Lorelai mumbled something from under the blankets.

"Honey, I can't understand you," Sookie replied. Lorelai threw the covers back and glared at Sookie, her eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying.

"I said Janet can handle it. The paperwork is on my desk. The decorations are all in my office," Lorelai snapped impatiently. "Everything was already taken care of. Just have Janet get Marie, John and Andy to help her set up. And if they balk, sic Michel on them."

"Hold that thought," Sookie said, raising a finger as she pulled out her cell phone. She dialed the Inn and directed Michel on who to find and what to do. She then had him transfer her to the kitchen so she could check on food preparations. The cake was done and Manny was already following the menu for the event that she'd left him. Now to the matter at hand. She snapped her cell phone shut and tossed it into her purse.

"Now are you gonna tell me what's wrong," Sookie inquired of the back of her friend's disheveled head. "I'm not leaving till you do."

Lorelai rolled over on her back and sighed, as Sookie sat on the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong honey," Sookie said gently, giving her friend a pat on the arm. "Luke's downstairs making pancakes and you're up here wallowing? Coffee is brewing and you're hands aren't wrapped around a mug of it? Are you two fighting again?"

Lorelai could feel the tears stinging behind her eyelids again, as she tried to keep her composure. She ran a hand through her tangled curls, wincing as she rubbed over the huge knot on her head. She really didn't want to talk to anyone, but this was Sookie and she knew her concerned friend meant well. She just wasn't sure how long she could keep from falling apart again. She looked away and took in a ragged breath, letting it out slowly, while she tried to think of what to say.

"I'm surprised Hello Magazine hadn't already alerted you," she said thickly. "Patty and Babette were at the diner when the mother of all meltdowns took place."

"Matthew had another tantrum? But Luke was there right? I mean, he helped you deal with him didn't he," Sookie asked.

"See that's the thing Sook," Lorelai exclaimed, bolting upright. "He didn't! He yelled at me to get him out of the diner cause he was working!"

"No! No wonder you look like crap," Sookie speculated. "How long did it take you to calm Matthew down this time?"

"Well, including the half hour break while I drove him around in the car and came home to round two, I guess about four hours on and off."

"Yikes! Oh sweetie…why didn't you call me," Sookie said, wrapping her arms around her friend. "I would've come over to help you."

"Sookie, you've got three kids of your own to deal with," Lorelai groaned. "You don't need to be dealing with mine as well."

"But that's what friends are for," Sookie said softly. "I'm here for you hon, you know that. You shouldn't have to deal with this by yourself."

"You're right," Lorelai said, in a strangled voice. "I should have had my husband to help me, but he doesn't want to deal with Matthew. Matty's getting worse and Luke is spending more time at the diner! I'm so tired of all the tantrums, the screaming, the stares in public…it's driving me crazy! I need a break!"

Sookie nodded, the wheels in her head spinning. "Honey, you stay home today. We've got it under control. Now I have something to say and I don't want you to shoot it down before hearing me out."

Lorelai nodded, wiping stray tears from her cheeks.

"You and Luke need some time alone with each other," Sookie began, a plan forming in her head. "You need a vacation."

"I can't take a vacation," Lorelai muttered.

"What happened to that not shooting me down before hearing me out thing," Sookie inquired, throwing here hands up in the air.

"Sorry," Lorelai murmured, looking down and picking a fuzz of her blanket.

"Take a weekend and go somewhere," Sookie stated, earnestly. "I'll come and stay with Matthew and Emmy. Jackson can handle our brood for the weekend. He's really getting that daddy thing down," she giggled. "You and Luke need to relax and talk, not fight, about what's going on with Matthew."

"I can't leave you to watch the twins alone," Lorelai said, frowning.

"If I need help, I'll call Rory and Babette is right next door," Sookie reassured. "At least think about it."

"I will," Lorelai whispered, feeling overwhelmed by her friend's gesture.

"You're my best friend honey," Sookie said, her eyes misting up. "I just hate seeing you like this."

Lorelai hugged her friend and lay back down, rolling onto her side and tucking the covers up under her chin.

"I've gotta head back to the Inn and make sure Michel isn't terrorizing staff while they're trying to set up for the shower," Sookie giggled. "I'll call you later. And answer the phone next time!"

Lorelai gave her a small smile and a slight nod. "I will. And thanks Sook…for everything."

Sookie gave Lorelai's hand a squeeze and then rushed out to get back to the Inn, leaving Lorelai alone with her misery. At least Matthew was quiet this morning. Too quiet. Was he still sleeping? Curiosity won out and she rolled out of bed with a groan and padded to the twins' bedroom. She pressed a cheek to the door and listened for moment. When she didn't hear anything, she cracked the door open and peeked inside. There was Matthew, sitting on his bed, blanky bunched up in his little hands, rocking back and forth, oblivious to everything around him. He didn't even notice when his mother opened the door wide and entered.

"Morning sweet boy," she said softly, as she approached him. She walked over to his bed and picked him up. He didn't smile or even acknowledge her existence, just held his blanky. She changed his diaper and placed one of the jumpers she'd made the night before on him. She didn't bother with socks and shoes. He would only have them off within seconds.

"I think Daddy is making us pancakes Matty," Lorelai cooed to her boy. "We love Daddy's pancakes, don't we? Let's go get some before Emmy eats them all."

Luke was listening through the monitor as Lorelai carried on a one sided conversation with Matthew. She sounded better than last night. At least he hoped she was in a better mood! He poured a cup of coffee in anticipation of her imminent arrival in the kitchen and set a plate of chocolate chip pancakes down next to it. Next to that, he placed a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. While Lorelai fed Matthew last night, he doubted she herself ate anything.

Matthew was the first to arrive, silently padding into the kitchen and taking his seat at the table. He immediately drank the orange juice before him and picked up his pancake and took a bite. Luke tried to cut it into smaller pieces, but Matthew liked his pancakes dry and ate them with his hands. The boy looked tired and listless, but at least he was calm this morning. He seemed more withdrawn, if that was possible, and ignored his father and sister.

Lorelai shuffled into the kitchen shortly after her son, still in her pajamas and bare feet, her hair a mess of tangles. Her eyes were still puffy. She gave Emmy a kiss on the head and turned to Luke.

"You made me chocolate chip pancakes," she said softly with a small smile.

"It was Emmy's idea," Luke said. "She wanted you to be happy and so do I. She said that chocolate chip pancakes were like kisses for boo boos and she didn't want you to be sad."

"How did I get such a smart daughter," Lorelai choked out, her eyes welling up again. She leaned down and hugged her little girl, kissing her cheeks. "You sure know how to make Mommy's boo boos feel better."

"You too," she added, wrapping her arms around Luke.

"So am I out of the dog house," Luke inquired, holding her close.

"No, but you're getting there," she smirked, taking a seat.

Lorelai ate breakfast with her family. Things were fairly quiet after yesterday's excitement. No one wanted to upset the apple cart, so they all tried to keep to Matthew's routine. Lorelai decided to take a bath to ease her sore muscles. Luke set Matthew up with his Scooby Doo video, while Emmy looked at her books, saying the words she recognized out loud. Eventually both children fell asleep and Luke carried them up to their beds to nap.

Luke entered the bedroom to check on Lorelai. He didn't see her there so he made his way to the bathroom and, seeing the light coming out from under the door, he knocked softly. He opened the door to find Lorelai in the bath, a mask over her eyes. Her freshly washed hair hung over her shoulders. She sighed and lifted the mask. She motioned for him to join her so he undressed and climbed in behind her.

"The kids are asleep," Luke murmured, as Lorelai leaned back against him.

"At the same time," Lorelai marveled. "What did you do? Hit them on the head with a mallet to knock them out?"

"I think Matthew's still exhausted from yesterday and Emmy fell asleep while reading her books," Luke said. He paused for a moment. "About yesterday…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you to deal with Matthew by yourself."

"No, you shouldn't have," Lorelai said, tensing slightly. "I needed you and you couldn't let Caesar take over for a bit so you could help me get him out before he completely lost it."

"Like I said, I'm an ass," Luke muttered, hanging his head in shame.

Lorelai sighed raggedly. "Luke, we need to be together on this. I think it's time we find a specialist in child development to test him. If it's not medical, then something else is going on. These tantrums aren't normal and neither are Matty's behaviors."

"I hate to say this but your parents have tons of contacts," Luke interjected cautiously. "Since we're having dinner with them tomorrow night, we may as well see if they can help."

"Ugh! You know how much I love getting them involved in the drama," Lorelai sighed, "But I guess it couldn't hurt. They're already noticing Matthew's behaviors. I thought Mom was gonna have a coronary last week when he had a tantrum and broke one of her valuable vases!"

"Yeah, well she still wants to be a part of your life Lorelai," Luke pointed out. "Maybe getting referrals to specialists will make her feel like a part of the solution."

"And make her feel needed," Lorelai added. "Speaking of needing, I need my hubby to kiss my boo boos and make them all better," Lorelai said with a pout.

"I'll kiss anything you want, if it gets me out of the dog house," Luke muttered, holding her close. He could feel her sadness over Matthew's situation.

"Love me," Lorelai whispered hoarsely, as she held onto Luke's arms. "Make it stop hurting," she choked out, the tears spilling over once more.

"I'll always love you, Lorelai," Luke whispered into her ear. "I promise, I won't leave you alone to deal with Matthew ever again. We're in this together."

Luke drained the tub and helped Lorelai out. She was still crying softly, as he dried her with a towel and carried her to their bed. He knew she was still recovering from yesterday's events. He gently laid her on the bed and climbed in next to her. He kissed her tenderly, from the large bump on the top of her head, to the tips of her toes. He massaged her sore muscles, kneading them in his hands as she moaned, partly from pain, partly from arousal. He made love to his wife with all the tenderness he could give her. She continued to softly weep, feeling his warm body cradling her own with his love and the promise of unity. She needed him more than ever. She needed his comfort and gladly accepted it, along with his heart and soul.

The remainder of the day was fairly quiet. Matthew sat and rocked or watched his Scooby Doo video. He was very drawn into himself, acting as if no one else existed. Emmy read her books with Luke, showing him how she recognized the words. She ones she didn't recognize, Luke read to her several times until she knew the new words. Luke would rather have attended to some projects, things around the house that needed fixing, but he promised Lorelai that he would help with the kids. She was exhausted and spent most of the day in bed.

"Daddy, is Mommy okay," Emmy inquired of her father, as she sat on his lap.

"She's just really tired Sweetpea," Luke said, rumpling Emmy's hair.

"Can I go up and read to her," Emmy asked enthusiastically.

"Sure, but if she's sleeping, don't bother her okay," Luke instructed.

"Okay Daddy," Emmy said, jumping down from her father's lap and scampering upstairs.

She peeked into her mother's bedroom and spotted her mother lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hi Mommy," Emmy chirped, as she climbed up on the bed next to her mother.

"Hey baby," Lorelai said, smiling. She gathered her daughter in her arms and hugged her.

"Are you feeling better, Mommy," Emmy inquired, snuggling up against her mother.

"I'm feeling much better, baby," Lorelai replied, kissing her girl on the top of her head.

"Are you still sad about Matty," Emmy asked, wide eyed.

"A little, but it's okay, Sweetpea," Lorelai reassured her. "I know Matty doesn't mean to hurt us."

"He doesn't play with me like he used to," Emmy stated, sadly. "I miss him. I want the old Matty to come back."

"Me too, Sweetpea, me too," Lorelai sighed. "Thank you for helping Daddy make breakfast."

"Did it make you happy," Emmy asked, hopefully.

"Happier than Ernie in a tub full of rubber duckies," Lorelai giggled. Emmy giggled too.

"Mommy, wanna hear me read," Emmy inquired, proudly. "Daddy showed me new words!"

"I'd love for you to read to Mommy," Lorelai responded with a grin. "Did you know that Rory used to read to me too? She was really smart, like you, and she loved to learn new words. She could read when she was four."

"I like to read," Emmy stated. "I read to Matty and tell him stories, but he doesn't care. He just plays with his cars." She looked sad for a moment.

"Well, why don't you read me a story Emmy," Lorelai said. "I'll listen."

Emmy read and made up stories to tell her mother. Lorelai really did enjoy spending time with her little girl. Emmy was such a special child, so full of life, a sweet girl. Lorelai wanted more than anything, for her family to be whole. Emmy was so sensitive to her brother's troubles. She didn't want to see her little girl suffer because of Matthew's problems. Tomorrow they would talk to her parents and get some resources to help Matthew.

Lorelai and Luke stood outside the Gilmore residence, a child attached to each.

"I'm not ready for this," Lorelai announced nervously.

"It'll be fine," Luke said, reassuringly.

"But Matthew is dressed up and he hates to dress up," Lorelai responded, swallowing back the anxiety rising in her throat. "He'll be streaking around the house, screaming, before dinner is even served! If he pees on their expensive rugs, I'm gonna get holy hell from them!"

"Lorelai, relax," Luke groaned. "You're on much better terms with your parents. Stop worrying about what they might think and focus on getting their support. And breathe for cryin' out loud! You're white as a sheet! You're gonna pass out before we even get inside."

Lorelai let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and rang the bell.

The maid answered and ushered them into the living room where Richard was making a pitcher of martinis.

"Why hello Lorelai, Luke," he acknowledged, as he poured the drinks. "I assume you'd like a nice cold beer," Richard inquired of Luke.

"Sounds good," Luke replied, handing Emmy a cup of apple juice and one for Matthew.

"And how are my grandkids," Richard boomed, lifting Emmy into his arms and giving her a hug.

"I can read Grandpa," Emmy exclaimed with a huge grin plastered on her face.

"Really? Well, that's wonderful," Richard replied, excitedly. "Now we can read the New York Times together when you come over."

"Oh Grandpa, you're silly," Emmy giggled, knowing her grandfather's penchant for reading that big newspaper that had lots of words and not so many pictures.

"Matthew, my boy, you're looking very dapper this evening," Richard said to his grandson. Matthew just walked in circles, drinking his juice and staring into space. Richard frowned.

"Um…Dad, where's Mom," Lorelai asked, trying to distract her father from commenting on Matthew's odd behavior.

"Oh, she's upstairs looking for something," Richard replied cryptically. "She'll be right down.

"Oh, okay," Lorelai said, downing the contents of her glass in one swallow. Richard raised an eyebrow, but poured her another martini, as she ate the olive distractedly. "I thought Rory and Logan were coming tonight with Ariel."

"They are," Richard replied. "Logan had a meeting, so they're running a bit late. They should be here shortly."

"Um, Dad, there's something that we'd like to discuss with you and Mom," Lorelai stated, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "About Matthew," she added.

"There's something we'd like to discuss with you too," Emily said coming into the living room. "Hello Lorelai. Hello Luke. Now where are Matthew and Emmy," she wondered out loud with a smile.

"Hi Grandma," Emmy exclaimed, jumping up from her hiding place behind the couch and running over to give her grandmother a hug. "I can read!"

"Well, aren't you a smart girl," Emily proclaimed, smoothing Emmy's wayward curls.

"Grandpa wants me to read the newspaper with him," Emmy said, making a face.

"Oh Richard! Not every little girl is like Rory," Emily laughed.

"Are you talking about me already? I didn't think we were that late," Rory remarked, entering the room with Ariel in her arms and Logan at her side.

"Richard, is the doorbell broken? I didn't hear it just now," Emily said frowning. "I thought Rupert was supposed to fix that? What good is it to have a handyman if he's so incompetent he can't repair a doorbell? Remind me to fire him tomorrow."

"I heard the doorbell when Lorelai and Luke arrived," Richard commented.

"We were about to ring the bell when the maid opened the door," Logan confirmed. "She must have seen us coming."

"Oh…well in that case, I won't fire Rupert," Emily stated. "Come and sit down. We were about to discuss Matthew."

Lorelai flashed her daughter a look of panic, as Rory looked down guiltily. She set Ariel in the playpen that Logan had set up and joined Logan on the couch across from her mother and Luke.

"I understand that Matthew has been increasingly difficult to deal with at home," Emily began. "And Rory informed me of his worsening tantrums in public as well."

Lorelai shot Rory a look. "Well, he's been really overwhelmed lately," she said, staring down her daughter.

"That's not what I heard," Emily reiterated. "Screaming, biting, pinching, hitting, stripping naked and urinating on the lawn…need I go on? I mean really, Lorelai! This most certainly seems like much more than improper behavior."

Lorelai sighed, any irritation she had with Rory disclosing the severity of Matthew's behaviors with her mother fading, as her sadness returned. She stared down at her hands, placed in her lap, as she tried to remain calm.

"Your mother and I have also noticed Matthew's strange behaviors in our home as well," Richard remarked.

"I'm sorry if Matthew isn't the perfect grandson you both wanted," Lorelai exploded, tears of frustration welling in her eyes. Luke placed his hand on hers and gave it a squeeze.

"Lorelai! We are not trying to ostracize you," Emily exclaimed, shocked at her daughter's outburst. "If you'll just listen, I have a suggestion."

"Mommy, what's ostridge size," Emmy inquired, climbing onto her mother's lap.

"It's just a big word that grown ups use to sound…well…grown up," Lorelai replied, wrapping her arms around her little girl. "You said you had a suggestion, Mom? We're listening."

"Well, I was taking to Margery Whitestone, who is on the Children's Hospital Fundraising Committee with me," Emily began. "She overheard me talking to my friend Helen Osgood, who's also on the committee, about Matthew's strange behaviors and tantrums. Margery is a nurse and she mentioned that it sounded like Matthew has autism. She asked if you had him diagnosed yet and I told her that Matthew had seen numerous doctors, but nothing could be determined. She wrote down the name of a child development specialist at Children's Hospital. She thinks he could help. Now I know how much you both hate when I interfere, but I just thought this Dr. Reitman could at least see Matthew. Apparently, he's highly recommended."

Lorelai took the paper from her mother and gazed at the name and address written on it.

"Now what were you and Luke going to discuss regarding Matthew," Emily inquired, after a moment.

"Uh…nothing," Lorelai choked out, giving her mother a small smile. "You beat us to it."

"That is, we were going to ask if you had any contacts of specialists we could take Matthew to," Luke chimed in, rubbing Lorelai back soothingly. "Thank you Emily. We really do appreciate this."

"Yes, thank you Mom," Lorelai said softly. "I'm sorry I blew up at you before. I've just been under so much stress lately." Lorelai sniffed and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Apology accepted," Emily said gently.

"Dinner is served," the maid interrupted.

"Thank you Maggie," Emily nodded, rising from her seat. "Let's take this conversation to the dining room, shall we?"

Everyone made their way into the dining room. Rory walked alongside her mother.

"I'm sorry, Mom," she said apologetically. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble by talking to Grandma. She just wanted to know what was going on."

"You did good, hon," Lorelai said softly, giving Rory a kiss on the cheek. "And you saved me from what possibly could've been a very embarrassing situation. You know I'm not real good at asking my parents for help…still."

"Let me know how Matthew's appointment with Dr. Reitman goes," Rory stated, as she sat down next to Logan.

The rest of the evening was much more relaxed, until after dinner when Matthew had decided he'd had enough of the uncomfortable clothes he was forced to wear. He began to strip out of them but was intercepted by Luke, who brought him upstairs and changed him into one of his comfy one-piece outfits. Emily actually commended Lorelai on her genius in making him garments that he couldn't remove, causing Lorelai to grin from ear to ear at the praise. Matthew and Emmy eventually fell asleep on the floor near Ariel's playpen. As they loaded their kids in the car, Luke and Lorelai felt a real sense of accomplishment. Now they could get some real answers to their many questions.

The much anticipated day finally arrived. Luke left work early and Lorelai took the day off: she couldn't focus anyway. They dropped Emmy at Sookie and Jackson's and headed to Hartford. Lorelai would have rather left Emmy with her mother, since she was closer to the doctor's office, but Emily had appointments that afternoon that she couldn't reschedule. Lorelai promised her mother that she'd call her that night with the news.

Lorelai and Luke walked into the Child Development Center at Children's Hospital, each holding onto one of Matthew's hands. The small boy was very tense in the new environment. After checking in, they were led to a quiet room where Matthew was given a series of tests and observed through a two-way mirror as he interacted with his parents. Then Luke and Lorelai watched through the window, as Matthew interacted with the staff, while Dr. Reitman asked them questions.

"Can you tell me about Matthew's development as a baby," Dr. Reitman inquired, a note pad and pen in his hand.

"Everything was normal at first," Lorelai explained. "He did everything when he was supposed to, just like his sister."

"He sat up a six months, walked alone at a year, he smiled and did everything his sister did," Luke added.

"And his speech? Did he have a vocabulary," Dr. Reitman asked, writing down on his pad.

"Oh yes," Lorelai answered enthusiastically. "He spoke his first words at eight months and was putting words together into small sentences at a year."

"But eventually he stopped speaking altogether," Luke frowned, staring at his son through the two-way mirror.

"When was that," Dr. Reitman asked.

"I guess he stopped speaking at around two," Lorelai surmised. "We just figured he was going through a phase, all shy and clingy. We figured he'd talk again when he was ready. He stopped communicating period. Not even pointing or gesturing."

"And how does he react to his environment," Dr. Reitman inquired, taking notes.

"Well, at first he was very inquisitive, a sweet boy, but laid back you know," Lorelai stated. "When he was I guess like two and a half, he started having tantrums, which I figured were normal, right? They don't call them the 'terrible twos' for nothing."

"Yeah, but his tantrums got worse as he got older and more violent, I guess you could say," Luke added. "He would tantrum whenever he heard a loud noise, especially sirens and lawnmowers. He would freak out if anyone messed with his routine. If I have to watch that damn Scooby Doo video one more time, I'M gonna have a tantrum!"

"See here's the thing Doc," Lorelai said, leaning forward in her chair. "While lawnmowers would make him go all Tasmanian devil… kicking, pinching, biting, scratching…other times, especially if he's engrossed in something, a bomb could go off and he wouldn't flinch!"

"How is Matthew's interaction with his peers," Dr. Reitman asked.

"He used to be very close to his twin sister, when he was a baby," Luke said. "Now he pretty much ignores her. He doesn't play with other kids either. He'd much rather play with a stupid spoon or the hose to the vacuum! He finds shiny objects fascinating."

Matthew wanted nothing more to do with the staff in the room. He began to strip off his clothing. When the staff tried to prevent him from removing his diaper, Matthew let out a shriek and threw himself down on the floor, crying and banging his head. The staff tried to restrain him and he began kicking and scratching. Lorelai couldn't stand it any longer and barged into the room. She gave Matthew his blanky, as the staff backed away. The boy grabbed it and sat on the floor, rocking back and forth, his mother talking soothingly to him.

Lorelai managed to calm Matthew down enough to redress him in one of his one piece outfits she'd packed, just in case. She returned to the doctor's office holding Matthew's hand and sat him on her lap, as he continued to rock. Someone entered and handed Dr. Reitman a large manila envelope, which he promptly opened and read the contents of. He set the sheets of white paper down on the desk and folded his hands on top of them.

"Mr. And Mrs. Danes, I have here the results of Matthew's assessments," Dr. Reitman announced. "Before I go over them, I'd like to discuss my findings. Based on observations of your son, and my interview with the both of you, your son is exhibiting symptoms of autism. Autism is a biological brain disorder. Children with autism develop normally as infants, but during their toddler years, seemed to regress markedly."

"You said it was biological," Luke said, as a stunned Lorelai could only stare into space. "Why doesn't our daughter have it?"

"No one knows for sure who will develop symptoms of autism," Dr. Reitman responded. "It seems to strike more boys than girls and the severity can range from mild social impairment, called Asperger's Syndrome to severe impairment. Children with autism have effectively withdrawn from all forms of communication and do not socialize as other children do. Everything is concrete for them. They have no spontaneous play or imagination. They don't understand social cues. They are often very rigid and need structure. If their routines are altered, they become overwhelmed and self stimulate."

"Self stimulate," Luke repeated questioningly. "Like what…masterbate?"

"They prefer objects to people and will focus on these objects with incredible attention," Dr. Reitman explained. "When agitated, they communicate by tantruming or 'stimming"…rocking, flapping their fingers or other objects, spinning things, any repetitive motion that brings a sort of hypnotic calm to an autistic child is called 'stimming.' They also seem deaf or blind at times, completely withdrawn. At other times, loud noises can be extremely overwhelming, as in your son's aversion to lawnmowers and sirens. Matthew is exhibiting severe symptoms of autism and his IQ tested at below thirty."

"Are you saying our son is retarded," Luke snapped. Lorelai could only listen silently as the doctor effectively destroyed her world.

"I'd prefer the term 'developmentally delayed'," Dr. Reitman corrected. "Matthew is functioning at the level of a child under the age of twelve months. His social skills, communication skills, basic intelligence, are all way below his chronological age."

"But he was so normal before he turned two," Lorelai said softly. "I don't understand how a normal child could actually lose intelligence! Is he going to stay this way for the rest of his life?"

"Autism can be treated, but it can't be cured," Dr. Reitman replied gently. "I can recommend a school for him that specializes in treating children with autism spectrum disorders. They have a small student to staff ratio and can teach him basic skills, as well as work on communication and reduction of self-stimulatory behaviors. I wish I had better news for you. I know this must seem very overwhelming for the both of you, but I've seen hundreds of cases of autism over the years and your son's symptoms are typical. Would you like the contact information for the school I mentioned?"

"Yes, please," Lorelai said, barely above a whisper.

Doctor Reitman wrote down the information and included some pamphlets on autism, and slipped them, along with the assessment results, back into the manila envelope. He handed the envelope to Luke, as Lorelai looked on with a mixture of relief at knowing what was really wrong with their son, and what could only be described as grief. Matthew would never be a normal little boy. He'd never play with his sister, giving her hugs, as they ran around the living room laughing. There would be no more snuggling with her little boy, as he chattered away about nothing in particular.

"Lorelai?" Luke's voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Dr. Reitman wanted to know if you had any more questions."

"No. Not right now," she answered in a daze. "Can we leave now? Matthew's getting tired and we've got a lot of processing to do."

"I understand," Dr. Reitman nodded. "Please call the number I gave you to schedule a visit to the school and if you have any more questions, please don't hesitate to call me."

"Uh, yeah, thank you, I guess," Luke stammered. "At least we're not crazy or bad parents."

"If you read the pamphlets I gave you, you'll see that there are support groups for parents of autistic children as well," Dr. Reitman said, standing up. "No one said you have to go through this alone. Good luck to the both of you," Dr. Reitman said, shaking Luke's hand.

Lorelai carried a sleepy Matthew to the car. Neither she nor Luke said anything. Both were too stunned by the news they'd just received. They drove back to Stars Hollow in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. As Luke neared a fast food restaurant, he motioned out the window.

"You hungry? I could hit the drive thru if you want."

"I'm not hungry," Lorelai murmured, turning to look out the window. "Let's just get to Sookie and Jackson's and pick up Emmy."

They pulled up in front of the Belleville residence a while later and could hear the shrieks of little girls floating in the air. Luke decided to stay in the car with Matthew while Lorelai retrieved Emmy. When Lorelai entered the house, nine-year old Davey was chasing his sisters, eight-year old Martha and six-year old Stella, around the house with a plastic pirate sword as Jackson flew Emmy around in the air.

"They're playing Peter Pan," Sookie giggled. "Emmy is Tinkerbell. She's so cute!"

"Uh, Sookie, I'm ready for that weekend getaway," Lorelai announced with a sob.

Sookie immediately pulled her best friend into her arms as Lorelai broke down in tears.

**So please press the pretty button and leave a review! I'm making "the face" and my eyeballs have shriveled up like raisins and are about to fall out of my head from lack of sleep! Nighty night! Oh man, where is my sleep mask? Toodles! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Here's the next chapter. Sorry it's late. Things have been hectic lately. This was going to be longer but I decided to break it up. We'll see everyones reactions to the news here. In the next chapter we will see more of Luke and Lorelai's reactions, as they take their weekend to process it all. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You can't imagine how those reviews inspire me to write and make my day. I was happy dancing all over the place! I think I may have ruptured something in my joy! Lol!So keep the reviews coming and I will do my best to keep you on the edge of your seat as this story unfolds.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino.**

**Chapter 12: Reactions**

"Jackson, I'm going outside," Sookie called out to her husband, as she pulled her best friend onto the porch, shutting the door behind her. She wrapped an arm around Lorelai and led her to the padded wicker loveseat to sit. Lorelai continued to sob uncontrollably, as Sookie held her, rubbing her back. When Lorelai composed herself, Sookie handed her a wad of tissues from her pocket.

"Honey, what happened," Sookie inquired of her teary friend. "It's bad news, isn't it? I knew it! There's something wrong with Matthew! They found a tumor and it's pressing on his brain and causing all these strange behaviors," she added in a rush of words.

"Oh my God! No! You watch way too much Grey's Anatomy," Lorelai gasped. "There's no tumor," she choked out, desperately trying to contain the flood of emotions building inside her again. "He has autism."

"You mean like Rain Man? Or that kid on St. Elsewhere?" Sookie tried unsuccessfully to lighten Lorelai's mood. Lorelai just stared into space, tears streaming silently down her face. "So what does this mean? What happens now?"

Lorelai sniffled and wiped her face with the wad of tissues. "They um…they gave us a bunch of pamphlets on autism and the info on a school for Matthew that's supposed to help. I just…I don't know how to handle this! This Dr. Reitman made it sound like Matthew will be like this forever, that Luke and I will have to take care of him for the rest of his life! He said there was no cure." Lorelai broke down sobbing again.

Sookie rubbed her friend's back, as she watched Luke sitting in the car, staring off into space with the same overwhelmed look she's seen on Lorelai only moments ago.

"Lorelai, I meant what I said," Sookie said softly, as she placed a hand on Lorelai's. "You and Luke take the weekend and go somewhere. I'll watch the kids. I'm sure Rory will help. You guys need to digest all of this and figure out what you're gonna do next. You both need a break."

"I can't leave you with Emmy and Matthew," Lorelai sighed. "It's too much."

"You can and I won't take no for an answer," Sookie stated adamantly. "Just write down Matthew's daily routine from wake up till bedtime, what he likes, what he doesn't like…I promise I'll stick to his routine. I've raised three kids so far without any major damage. Trust me, honey, I can do this. I want to do this."

"Thank you," Lorelai uttered, barely above a whisper. "I need to uh…get Emmy and go home. I've got phone calls to make."

As if on cue, Emmy came bolting out of the front door with Stella behind her.

"Mommy! You're back! Why are you crying," Emmy inquired, climbing into her mother's lap.

"Oh, it's nothing Sweetpea," Lorelai said, wiping her eyes and giving her little girl a weak smile.

"Did Matty hurt you again," Emmy asked with a frown.

"No baby, Matty is fine. He's taking a nap in the car with Daddy," Lorelai said, pointing to the car. She gave Emmy a squeeze and kissed her on the cheek.

A shriek from inside the house startled everyone. "Mom! Davey keeps hitting me with his sword and it hurts!"

"Davey hit me too Mommy," Stella said, showing her mother the welt on her arm.

"Martha, where is your father," Sookie shouted into the house.

"Ow! Davey stop! He's out in the yard talking on the phone to Uncle Beau," Martha yelled back.

"Look Sookie, I'll call you tomorrow," Lorelai said, gathering Emmy and standing up.

"Okay hon, you do that," Sookie answered distractedly. "Jackson! Get off the phone and deal with your son before I wring his neck," she yelled, heading into the house with Stella on her heels.

"Oh yeah, she's gonna do great with the kids," Lorelai muttered to herself, as she walked to the car with Emmy.

Lorelai helped Emmy into the car and secured her in her seat next to her brother. Matthew had awakened and was sitting quietly, studying his fingers. Since he couldn't rock, being confined to the car seat, he kicked his feet rhythmically against the back of the driver's seat. Luke gave Lorelai a look of frustration, his face red, as he kept his anger in check. The incessant seat kicking was driving him crazy and he didn't want to set Matthew off by yelling at him. Lorelai climbed in the passenger seat and turned to gently lay her hand upon Matthew's feet. He stopped momentarily and then began to kick the seat again. Luke sighed and pulled his seat forward. His legs were cramped but at least Matthew's feet could no longer reach his seat and jar his kidneys with every rhythmic thump.

When they arrived home, Emmy set off to gather her favorite books to take yet another journey into her imagination. Matthew sat on the floor in the living room, rocking and staring into space. His face was expressionless, his gaze on nothing in particular. Luke sat down on the couch and watched his son, his own thoughts racing through his head like a freight train, never halting long enough to explore the questions that plagued him. He didn't feel like talking yet. This was all too much to take in.

Lorelai paced the floor of their bedroom, phone in hand, trying to think of what to say. She sighed and ran her hand through her now tangled curls for the umpteenth time. This wasn't news you could just spring on someone on the phone. This was major, life changing. What would she say? No, this was something that needed to be revealed in person. She took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm her racing heart, and let it out slowly. The queasy feeling was still present, having gained permanent residence in her stomach it seemed.

"Hi, Mom," Lorelai said into the phone. "I was wondering if you and Dad could come over for dinner tonight? Luke and I have some news that we don't feel like sharing over the phone." She paused, listening to her mother for a moment. "Yes, I know it's short notice, but we'd really rather discuss this in person. We'll see you at six then."

Lorelai hung up with her mother and dialed Rory who, upon hearing the subdued tone of her mother's voice, consented immediately.

"Mom, are you okay," Rory asked before Lorelai could hang up.

"I…I just need you hon," Lorelai replied softly. "We'll see you at six then."

"Hang in there, Mom," Rory reassured her mother. "It's going to be okay. I love you."

"Love you too, Sweets," Lorelai murmured, then hung up the phone.

"Luke," Lorelai called out breathlessly, as she trotted down the stairs. "What do we have in the fridge that you can whip up for dinner tonight, cause my parents and Rory and Logan are coming over for dinner and they'll be here at six?"

"Wait, what? Slow down Lorelai," Luke said, watching her pace the floor, as she wrung her hands.

"I invited everyone over for dinner tonight," Lorelai said nervously, cringingly slightly as she waited for the rant that was sure to explode from her husband at any moment. "I just couldn't tell them about Matthew on the phone," she added softly. The rant didn't come. Instead, Luke gathered her in his arms and held her close.

"It's probably best," he sighed, tipping her face up and kissing her gently on the lips. "Look, why don't you relax and I'll figure out what to make for dinner that your parents will like." When he saw the worried look on his wife's face, the furrowed brow and teary eyes, he hugged her tightly. "We'll get through this Lorelai." She nodded in response, too overwhelmed by his loving support to say any more.

Luke managed to prepare a simple but delicious meal of penne pasta with vegetables in a creamy alfredo sauce with grilled chicken. A tossed salad and some hot garlic bread completed the meal. Lorelai pushed the food around on her plate, barely touching it. She didn't have much of an appetite, which was rare, but her stomach was in knots as she tried to figure out how to break the news to her family. The silence around the table was almost deafening as everyone glanced at each other, waiting for Lorelai or Luke to speak the words they all knew were perched on their lips.

"So Lorelai, how did the appointment with Doctor Reitman go this afternoon," Emily inquired, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I assume that's why we're all assembled here tonight, to discuss the outcome?"

"Your nurse friend was right, Mom," Lorelai said softly. "After a whole bunch of tests and observations, Dr. Reitman said that Matthew has autism and an IQ below thirty."

"Oh Mom," Rory whispered, reaching across the table to take her mother's hand in hers.

"He recommended a school for Matthew that deals with autistic kids," Luke said, clasping Lorelai's other hand in his.

"This Dr. Reitman is only one doctor," Richard said adamantly. "Emily, don't you have other contacts? You need a second opinion or third if need be."

"Dad. Dad! Please…" Lorelai began, as her father continued on about finding the best specialists in the field of child development. "Doctor Reitman said he's seen hundreds of children and Matthew was typical. I don't want to put him through any more assessments. We just have to accept that Matthew isn't like other kids and will have to be taken care of for the rest of his life."

"But there has to be more we can do," Rory stated, looking over at Matthew as he sat eating his pasta, one piece at a time, with his fingers, all the while rocking back and forth in his seat.

"I can certainly find more specialists, if that is what you both want," Emily stated, "but I agree that Matthew has been through enough already. I think we should focus on his treatment and how we can best help him."

"So what do we do now," Logan inquired, "and how can we help?"

"Um…this is all so overwhelming," Lorelai began. "I'm not sure where to begin."

"We're still dealing with the shock and everything. Sookie offered to watch the kids while Luke and I take a weekend getaway to sort things out. I don't think she can handle both Matthew and Emmy by herself."

"I'll come over and stay here to help," Rory offered.

"Are you sure hon," Lorelai asked. "You've got Ariel and your job…"

"Don't worry about Ariel," Logan interjected. "She'll be fine."

"Yes, Ariel can stay with us until you pick her up after work," Emily stated to Logan.

"And I can always work on my article on the computer while the twins are napping," Rory added. "Mom, please take Sookie up on her offer. You look exhausted."

"Richard, has the house in Martha's Vinyard been opened for the summer yet," Emily inquired.

"I believe it has," Richard nodded. "We were planning on spending a week there next month or have you forgotten already?"

"How could I forget," Emily stated, rolling her eyes. "A week with the Sandersons."

"Now Emily, Bill is a long time client of mine and a good friend," Richard said. "I haven't seen him in ages."

"That may be," Emily responded, "but his new wife is an insufferable twit. She has the social grace of a barbarian and the intelligence of a gnat. I don't know what he sees in her! The last time we had the misfortune of socializing with them, she carried on a horrendously boring conversation about who was a cooler mom, Peg Bundy or Marge Simpson! I was ready to ring her skinny little neck!"

"I don't know, Mom, it's pretty close in my book," Lorelai said with a smirk.

"Anyway…how would you and Luke like to stay at the Vinyard for a weekend," Emily inquired. "You'd have the entire place to yourselves and you can relax."

"That's a wonderful idea, Emily," Richard chimed in. "You don't have to worry about things here. I'm sure everything will be taken care of."

"And your father and I will be available as well," Emily added.

"So it's all settled," Rory said. "Hey Emmy, how'd you like me and Aunt Sookie to come spend the weekend with you and Matty?"

"Really?" Emmy bounced in her seat, clapping her hands. "Can we go to the park and play?"

"I think that can be arranged," Rory replied, smiling at her little sister. "Maybe Logan can bring Ariel over to play with you."

"Thanks guys for everything," Luke said, sincerely. "As long as you think you can handle these two, I guess it couldn't hurt to take a few days away."

"We really appreciate this," Lorelai said, with a small smile.

Once dinner had finished, Rory helped Luke clear the dishes away. She couldn't help but notice how uncharacteristically quiet her mother had been all evening. In fact, everyone seemed lost in their own thoughts. As she dried the last pan and put it away, she watched her mother slip out the back door with a cup of coffee. Richard was in a discussion with Luke about plans for the weekend getaway. Emily and Logan had taken the children into the living room. Rory saw this as the perfect opportunity to spend a moment with her mother. She filled a cup with coffee and headed out the back door. She found her mother sitting at the table on the back porch, quietly sipping her coffee, the faraway look on her face.

Rory set her coffee down on the table and hugged her mother from behind.

"Oh, hey hon," Lorelai said, giving her a sad smile. "Everything done already?"

"All finished," Rory stated, taking a seat at the table next to her mother.

"I was gonna sing the dishwashing song to Emmy while I did the dishes," Lorelai said with forced cheeriness. "You know how much she loves it."

"Well, I beat you to it, and besides Grandma and Logan took the kids into the living room," Rory said, taking a sip of her coffee. After a moment, she sighed and placed a hand on her mother's. "Mom…are you okay?"

"No…not really," Lorelai murmured, looking down into her coffee cup. "I…I don't know what to feel, you know? I mean I feel sad and angry and frustrated and numb at the same time. It's like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it, then gave it back to me and said 'here you go, now deal with it'! I don't know what to do! I don't know how I'm supposed to act around people. They think Matthew is strange as it is! Rory, I don't know what I did wrong that could've caused this. I…I…I thought I had this whole parenting thing down! You were perfect! What did I do wrong?"

Lorelai dissolved in tears, sobbing into her hands, as Rory wrapped an arm around her.

"Mom, you didn't do anything wrong," Rory said softly, taking her mother into her arms and holding her as she wept.

"I'm a bad mother," Lorelai sobbed, clinging to her daughter.

"You're not a bad mother," Rory whispered, kissing her mother on the cheek. "You never gave up on me after my accident and encouraged me in my physical therapy, even when I was bawling my eyes out because of nerve pain. You were so strong." Lorelai shook her head. "Yes, you were! Mom, if anyone can help Matthew, you can! You won't be alone. We'll all help."

"Yes, we will," a voice affirmed from behind. Rory looked up to see Emily standing behind them. "Your father and I were about to leave and we wanted to say goodbye first."

Lorelai slid her chair back and stood up. She tried to wipe her tear-streaked face but Emily clasped Lorelai's hand in her own.

"Lorelai, I know I haven't been the best mother to you, and I'm certainly not perfect now, but I want you to know that I think you are doing a tremendous job with Matthew," Emily said, holding Lorelai's hand in her own. "I most certainly don't think his autism is your fault. I know you're doing the best you can. We'll get him help. Go take your weekend with Luke. We'll all be here to help with the children." Emily reached up and brushed away the tears, which still coursed slowly down her daughter's already wet cheeks, with her thumb.

"Thanks again Mom," Lorelai whispered hoarsely, as she enveloped her mother in a heartfelt embrace.

Emily held her daughter for a moment and rubbed her back. She was still unaccustomed to physical displays of affection, but she was beginning to really enjoy the warm feelings that coursed through her when her daughter initiated a hug. She welcomed the connection that she had longed for since Lorelai left home as a teen. She could feel her daughter's tears seeping through the thin material of her blouse, as Lorelai cried softly against her shoulder. Emily stroked Lorelai's hair as she held her then pressed a tender kiss to her wet cheek as she pulled back.

"We will deal with this as a family," Emily said softly.

"Ah! Emily! There you are," Richard announced, coming out onto the porch. "I've been looking for you. Rory, Logan is ready to go. He said that Ariel was getting cranky."

"Thanks Grandpa," Rory replied, standing up. She wrapped her arms around her mother and gave her a huge hug. "We're all here for you guys. Hang in there, Mom. I love you." She kissed her mom and grandparents and headed into the house.

Lorelai wiped her face, in an effort to collect herself, and gave her parents a tremulous smile. "I uh better get in there and put the Katzenjammer kids to bed," she said, pointing to the door. "Thanks again, Dad, for letting Luke and me use the house in Martha's Vinyard for a weekend. I promise we won't throw any huge blowouts without inviting you first. After all, you know where all the good hooch is hidden," she added with a chuckle.

"And don't you forget it," Richard teased with a stern face. The twinkle in his eye gave him away and he smiled warmly at his daughter. "You'll be fine, Lorelai, and Matthew and Emmy will be well taken care of in your absence. Are you ready Emily?"

"Yes, Richard," Emily replied. "Just let me get my purse."

"Good night, Lorelai," Richard said, leaning down to kiss his daughter on the forehead.

"Night Dad," Lorelai whispered, swallowing back her emotions once again.

When Lorelai entered the house, Luke was already gathering Matthew and Emmy to give them their baths. She offered to give the baths if Luke brought her their pajamas. It was getting late, and Matthew was already rubbing his eyes, so she decided to let them share the tub. Emmy undressed and climbed in, bringing her favorite bath toys with her. She sat, pouring water from her little pink beach bucket onto her head until she was thoroughly soaked. Matthew sat next to her, rocking back and forth, while quietly awaiting his turn.

Lorelai shampooed and rinsed Emmy's hair, as the little girl chattered away, creating her own adventures with her toys. She soaped up a washcloth and encouraged Emmy to wash herself, assisting in washing the areas that Emmy couldn't reach.

"Wash your head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes," Emmy sang, as she scrubbed each body part. "See, Mommy! I can do it myself!"

"That's because you're such a big girl now," Lorelai replied, rinsing Emmy off.

Once Emmy finished, she scrambled out of the tub and into her father's arms. Luke dried her and helped her to dress, while Lorelai prepared to wash Matthew's hair. Lorelai gently poured water over Matthew's tangled mass of dark curls. He flinched, gasping as the water ran down his face. She quickly shampooed his hair and held her hand over his eyes as she rinsed it. He continued to rock as she washed him, his tired gaze falling on nothing in particular. Lorelai rinsed Matthew and drained the tub, grabbing a fluffy towel to wrap her son in. Once in his bedroom, Matthew lay on his bed while Lorelai diapered and dressed him for sleep.

Luke tucked Emmy into bed, as Lorelai tucked Matthew in his own bed. There were the usual round of hugs and kisses as Emmy yawned and snuggled Mr. Wiggles. Matthew lay still, clutching his favorite blanky to him. Once Lorelai knew he was asleep, she gently stroked his soft curls, kissing his forehead and wiping away the tear that landed there.


	13. Chapter 13

**Here is the next chapter and it's a long one! Whew! I'm not sure when I'll be able to post the next chapter, since I may have my electricity disconnected (times are hard), but I will find a way to post, even if I have to go to the library to write a little at a time and post it using their computers. Writing is my outlet and keeps me sane, so don't worry, this story will not be forgotten. This is one of my favorite chapters. It's raw and emotional. I hope you enjoy it. Luke and Lorelai have a catharsis like no other, as reality hits. Just to make up for putting them (especially poor Luke) through hell, I will treat them to some extra TLC in the next chapter. :) Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! During this time of struggle in my life, writing not only keeps me sane but the reviews give me encouragement. You guys rock! So please read and review so I can do the happy dance! I could use the exercise! Lol! Until next time...enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino!**

**Chapter 13: The Heart Of The Matter**

The heart is a resilient thing. No matter how many times it gets broken, it still mends, beating in time to the rhythm of even the most unspoken emotions. It pulses with life, filling the body with nourishing blood and prolonging the existence of the bearer. How truly amazing is the heart, an organ responsible for sustaining life, yet so intricately tied to the emotions! Was it actually possible to break it wide open with the sheer force of unexpressed emotion? Lorelai was beginning to wonder since she, who was no stranger to heartbreak, was so sure her own heart had exploded in her chest when she received the devastating news about Matthew.

Still she said nothing, as she watched her husband go about his daily grind. It had been days since the news and Luke wouldn't discuss it further, saying he needed time to process. The way he worked his jaw, and the lackluster look in his eyes, told Lorelai that he too was having just as difficult a time as she was. He ranted at the customers in the diner, which was nothing out of the ordinary, becoming even more the monosyllabic man at home. He didn't want to talk about it, not until the weekend. So Lorelai held her tongue and her heart, in a desperate attempt to keep from falling apart. Maybe the pain in her chest would go away someday, but for now she resigned herself to its constant companionship.

Lorelai spent her days preparing for the trip. She wrote a detailed list of Matthew's likes and dislikes, as well as his routine for Sookie. She knew Rory would be able to help should he have a meltdown, but that didn't ease the gnawing ache in the pit of her stomach. This would be the first time she and Luke took any time away from the kids since they were babies. She completed payroll so the employees at the Dragonfly could get their checks before she left for the extended weekend. Michel was doing a surprisingly good job as manager, since Lorelai was forced to cut back due to Matthew's problems. She confirmed with him that everything was set, as she wouldn't be available.

She hung up the phone, confident that Michel would be able to handle things at work. Now all she had to do was pack. She trudged upstairs to her bedroom and pulled out her suitcase, setting it on the bed and opening it. She listened for a moment to the monitor on the nightstand. Matthew was taking a nap, providing Lorelai with the perfect opportunity to scour her closet for something decent to wear. Relieved that Matthew was sound asleep, Lorelai turned her attention back to the task at hand.

Emmy had fallen asleep on the couch downstairs, and Lorelai saw no need to wake her up, so she let her sleep where she lay. She knew Emmy was smart enough to come look for her when she woke up. Matthew needed constant surveillance, as he had a habit of running out the front door. Many times she had to hunt for him in the neighborhood, or Babbette would bring him home, having spotted him wandering around her yard. Therefore all the doors were locked with deadbolts from the inside to insure Matthew's safety.

Lorelai continued to place items in her suitcase, oblivious to the pair of sleep-groggy blue eyes, identical to her own, peering at her from the open doorway.

"Mommy, can I help you," Emmy said, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh, hey Baby," Lorelai exclaimed, startled. "Did you have a nice nap?"

Emmy nodded, still a bit sleepy, and padded into the room. She wrapped her little arms around her mother's legs and hugged her tightly. Lorelai smiled and rumpled the light brown curls. She lifted her girl into her arms and gave her a squeeze and a big kiss on the cheek.

"You see those pairs of shoes over there," Lorelai asked, pointing to the pile of shoes she'd separated for the trip. Emmy nodded. "How about you bring them over and we can see if we can squeeze them into this bag. Daddy doesn't think Mommy needs this many shoes but he just doesn't understand. The shoes make the outfit. You can never have too many pairs of shoes."

Emmy brought the shoes over and dumped them on the bed. Lorelai wedged them carefully into her suitcase, filling every nook and cranny.

"Come here Sweetpea," Lorelai grinned. "I need you to sit on my suitcase so I can zip it closed." Emmy giggled and jumped up on the suitcase so her mother could zip it.

"Mommy?" Emmy paused for a moment. "You and Daddy are coming home right?"

Lorelai's head snapped in the direction of her daughter with an expression of shock.

"Oh Sweetpea! Of course we're coming home," Lorelai said adamantly. "Do you really think Daddy and I would just leave you and Matty and never come back?"

Emmy looked away. "Matty doesn't like me any more. He won't play with me. Maybe I'm a bad girl and that's why you and Daddy are going away."

"Oh Baby," Lorelai choked out, pulling her little girl into her arms. "We're not going away because you're a bad girl! We love you and Matty so much! We just need a little vacation."

"Then how come I can't come too," Emmy inquired dejectedly.

"Well, we would take you, but Daddy and I need some grown up time together so we can figure out how to help Matty," Lorelai explained, as Emmy hugged her neck tightly.

"So, you're gonna come back," Emmy asked tentatively.

"Of course," Lorelai exclaimed, covering her little girl's cheeks with kisses. "It's only for a few days and Aunt Sookie and Rory will be here with you guys. You're gonna have so much fun. You love when Rory comes over!"

"And Aunt Sookie will make us cookies," Emmy added, brightening up. "I hope she doesn't burn off her eyebrows like the last time!"

Lorelai burst out laughing. "That was so funny! Remember? She had to draw her eyebrows on with a pencil till they grew back?"

"I tried to tell Aunt Sookie that Daddy told me never to touch the oven cause it makes fire," Emmy giggled.

"Yeah well, Aunt Sookie is a bit of a klutz," Lorelai giggled. "She's always getting hurt cause she's not always careful. You're still not allowed near the oven young lady, so let Aunt Sookie deal with it okay?"

"Okay Mommy," Emmy said, nodding. "Can I still lick the bowl?"

"You might have to fight over it with Rory, but sure," Lorelai said, grinning. "Why don't we see if Matty is awake. Daddy will be home soon. You can help him make dinner."

Friday morning was a bustle of activity. Sookie and Rory arrived as Lorelai was just finishing her shower. Luke was packing the last items into his suitcase when the doorbell alerted him to their arrival. Rory immediately went to work, helping to get the kids dressed, while Luke brought the bags down and set them in the foyer. Sookie had already staked her claim on the kitchen, setting her cookware on the counter and filling the refrigerator with food she'd brought.

"Lorelai," Luke called at the bottom of the stairs. "Come on! Let's go! I want to beat the traffic."

"Hold your horses," Lorelai yelled back. "You expect me to function like a normal human being on three hours of sleep and only two cups of coffee? Since you had me up before the freakin' roosters, you can wait, Mister!"

Luke rolled his eyes, shook his head and began to carry the bags out to the car.

"Mommy! Daddy's leaving without you," Emmy called out.

"He wouldn't dare," Lorelai gasped as she bounded down the stairs, fastening an earring in her ear. "Oh, hey Sweets," Lorelai said, kissing Rory on the cheek. "You're here early. I thought you were working this morning at the paper."

"I told them that I was working from home today," Rory said, giving her mom a hug.

"Rory, I put everything away in the kitchen, away from little hands," Sookie announced entering the living room. "Oh, Lorelai! Hey! Wow! You look fabulous!"

"Save it Sook, I'm taken," Lorelai said, checking out her reflection in the mirror in the foyer.

Sookie giggled. "You can't knock a girl for tryin'! You do look great though. I bet Luke won't be able to keep his hands off you."

"Sookie," Lorelai gasped. "There are little ears listening." She leaned in to her friend and whispered, "And that's what I'm hoping. We've both been so stressed that…well you know."

"Well then what are you waiting for," Sookie exclaimed. "Rory and I can handle these two. You go handle your man."

"Dirty," Lorelai proclaimed with a grin. "Now you have the list of Matthew's preferred foods and his routine. He likes to eat with his fingers so trying to get him to use a fork will only bring on a meltdown. Remember to keep the doors bolted at night and when you're inside during the day cause Matthew will take off and run down the street. He almost got hit by a car one time. He has to have his blanky to sleep with."

"Mom, I already know these things," Rory stated calmly.

"You ready Lorelai," Luke inquired impatiently, as he entered the house. "Let Rory and Sookie deal with the kids. You wrote out a list a mile long on their care. If they can't figure it out, I'm sure we'll get a call."

"Okay, but you make sure…" Lorelai began

"We'll call you if we have any problems. I promise," Rory said, nodding.

"Matthew, Emmy, come say goodbye to Mommy and Daddy," Lorelai announced. Matthew didn't respond and just sat on the floor in front of the TV, oblivious to his surroundings. Lorelai went over and leaned down to kiss the top of his curly head. He flinched and moved away, never glancing up at his mother. Lorelai sighed and stood up, looking around the room for Emmy.

"Emmy, we're leaving," Lorelai called out. She shrugged her shoulders. "Bye Sweetpea."

Emmy came running downstairs in an explosion of tears. She ran at Lorelai full force and clung to her mother, crying hysterically.

"Mommy, don't go," she wailed. "I don't want you to go away! Please, Mommy! Don't go. I'll be good."

"Oh Baby, we're not mad at you," Lorelai said, taking Emmy into her arms, as the little girl clung to her neck sobbing. "You're our little angel! Mommy and Daddy are just taking a few days to ourselves. We're coming back. We wouldn't leave you guys."

"Bu bu but I wanna go with y you," Emmy sobbed. "Pleeeeease, Mommy!"

"You're going to have fun with Rory and Aunt Sookie," Lorelai reasoned. "You're going to have so much fun that Mommy and Daddy will be home before you know it."

Lorelai held her little girl, rubbing her back and kissing her wet cheeks. Emmy refused to be consoled and clung to her mother, crying pitifully. It broke Lorelai's heart to see her baby girl so full of anxiety. It bothered her even more that Luke was being standoffish and not helping her comfort their daughter. She glared at him, as he stood in the foyer rubbing the back of his neck. Striding across the room, Lorelai handed Emmy to a flustered Luke and headed out to the car without a word.

"Mommy! Don't go," Emmy screamed, trying desperately to free herself from her father's grip.

She wailed harder, burying her face in her father's neck. Luke sighed and rubbed her back. This was just too much for him. His own inner turmoil was giving him a massive headache. His thoughts just wouldn't stop and Emmy's meltdown was making it even harder. His quickly kissed Emmy and handed her over to Rory.

"We'll be back home in a few days," he said, in an effort to soothe his little girl. "You be good for Rory and Aunt Sookie." He turned and walked out the door, Emmy's hysterical pleas still ringing in his ears.

"It's okay Emmy," Rory said, rocking her little sister in her arms. "Mommy and Daddy will be back. I promise. Why don't you get one of your books and we can read together. I'll show you some new words."

Rory sat on the couch with Emmy on her lap. Emmy's sobs had been reduced to soft whimpering. The little girl popped her thumb in her mouth and snuggled against her big sister, as Rory brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"Would you like me to read you The Little Mermaid again," Rory inquired, receiving a small nod from the curly head pressed against her chest.

"Hey Sweetie," Sookie said, patting Emmy on the leg. "I'm gonna make cookies later. You wanna help? Chocolate chip. Your favorite!"

"Can I put the chocolate chips in," Emmy asked shyly.

"Of course Honey," Sookie replied enthusiastically. "I brought m&ms too! We can make all kinds of cookies!"

"Okay," Emmy said softy. She yawned and leaned against Rory, waiting for the story to begin.

Rory pulled the book out of the couch cushions, opened to the first page and began to read.

Lorelai sat in the jeep, staring out the front windshield seething, as she watched Luke walk over to the driver side. He opened the door and waited for her to get out.

"I'm driving," Lorelai said between clenched teeth. "If you don't like it…tough!"

"What the hell is wrong with you," Luke snapped, marching around to the passenger side and getting in.

"You were unbelievably rude to Emmy," Lorelai shouted. "She was having separation anxiety about us leaving and you acted like you couldn't care less! What the hell is wrong with YOU?" She started the car, pulled out of the driveway and headed down the street.

"I've got a lot on my mind," Luke offered lamely.

"What? And I don't," Lorelai queried through pursed lips. "I know this is all overwhelming Luke, but you're not the only one going through this! I'm not dealing too great right now either and, yes; even Emmy is feeling the stress. You pretty much reinforced her fears Luke."

"Fine," Luke grumbled. "I'm not going to have a fight with you in a moving vehicle, so can we just save this until we get to the house?"

"Whatever," Lorelai answered shortly. "We've got a lot of talking to do, so you'd better not go all monosyllabic man on me."

"Don't worry," Luke snapped, "I've got plenty to say."

They made the drive to Martha's Vineyard in relative silence, neither wanting to fuel the fire in each other. Luke knew he was going to have to explain his actions to Lorelai, especially given how irritable he'd been lately. He also knew it wasn't fair to put the burden for caring for the twins on Lorelai. He just needed time to wrap his brain around all the information that never seemed to stop racing around his head. He hoped this weekend would not only get them talking but give them an opportunity to really support each other.

Once they reached their destination, Luke grabbed the bags from the back while Lorelai unlocked the house. Emily and Richard sure knew how to pick 'em! Even from the outside, Luke could already tell it was beautiful. The house was right on the beach, yet still secluded from the neighbors. The grounds were impeccably maintained, with large pots of summer flowers lining the stone walkway to the front door. There were rose bushes of all varieties and colors growing along the fence, adding their sweet fragrance to the abundant flora.

Lorelai turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open. She entered the house cautiously, as if she expected her parents to suddenly appear in the foyer. The house was quiet and appeared to have been prepared for their visit. The windows were open, the curtains drawn back, letting in the bright sunshine and fragrant breezes. Everything was extraordinarily neat and tidy. Emily did have exacting standards when it came to her décor and this house certainly reflected those high standards.

"If I remember right, the bedrooms are this way," Lorelai said, climbing the stairs.

"Bedrooms," Luke inquired. "Are we not sharing a bedroom?"

"Oh, we are," Lorelai stated matter of factly. "We just have our pick as to which one."

Lorelai decided that the master bedroom would be perfect. Not only was it the most spacious, the thought of making love with her husband in her parent's bed gave Lorelai a kind of smug satisfaction. Emily would have a fit! Still, it would be just between her and Luke. She'd wash the linens before leaving. What Emily didn't know wouldn't hurt. Luke set the bags down on the cedar chest that was placed at the end of the bed. They would unpack later. After the long drive, they both just wanted to rest.

Lorelai removed her shoes, climbed up on the king sized bed and stretched out, beckoning Luke to join her. Luke unlaced his boots and pulled them off. He climbed up next to Lorelai and she immediately draped a leg over him as she snuggled up into his chest. She didn't want to talk right now. She certainly didn't want to fight. All she wanted to do was feel the warmth and security of her husband. Luke could sense Lorelai's need to just cuddle: he himself was feeling the same exhausted need for comfort. They both fell into a deep sleep, lulled by the sound of the waves lapping at the shore coming through the open window.

Luke opened his eyes a few hours later and looked at the clock on the nightstand. He should probably see if there was anything to eat in the kitchen. He doubted it. He remembered Richard telling him about a market nearby where he could pick up groceries. He slid out of bed, careful not to wake Lorelai, grabbed his boots and left the room. He didn't want to mar Emily and Richard's highly polished wood floors so he decided to leave his boots near the front door and pad around in his socks.

He walked around the house, realizing that Lorelai hadn't really given him a tour, and found the kitchen. His cell phone rang, startling him. He dug in the front pocket of his jeans and found it. It was Richard wondering why they hadn't checked in. Luke explained that he and Lorelai were so exhausted that they decided to take a nap.

"I'm glad everything is okay," Richard said, sounding relieved. "Emily was already beginning to worry when she hadn't heard from you."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Luke replied, rubbing the back of his neck, as he looked around. "We made pretty good time getting here."

"Now Luke, we took the liberty of having our caretaker pick up some groceries for the both of you," Emily said through the speakerphone. "I gave him a list. He should have also opened the house before your arrival."

"He did," Luke replied. He opened the refrigerator and saw that it was stocked with enough fruits, fresh vegetables and basic staples to last the weekend. The freezer contained several packages of chicken, ribs and steaks. They would probably run to the market anyway in order to indulge Lorelai's junk food addiction.

"If you need anything else, please let Bob know," Emily said. "His phone number is on the refrigerator."

"I see it," Luke stated, noting the small post it on the freezer door. "Thanks for everything. I'm sure that if Lorelai were awake she'd thank you too."

"You're quite welcome," Richard acknowledged. "Luke…take care of our daughter. I know things have been very difficult lately but Lorelai needs you."

"We'll check on the children," Emily said reassuringly. "I'm sure Rory and Sookie will be able to handle them, but we'll be available for back up should they need it."

"I'd better start dinner before that bottomless pit of a daughter of yours wakes up and decides to eat the furniture," Luke chuckled.

"You tell her that if she eats it, she replaces it," Emily said. Luke could almost see her smiling through the phone.

"Will do," Luke said smiling. "We'll see you Sunday night."

Lorelai was aware of someone talking. She felt the bed next to her and realized that it was empty. She opened her eyes and yawned. How long had she been asleep? Was it morning already? One glance out the window proved otherwise. She stretched and groaned, her muscles stiff from hours of driving. She sat up and swung her long legs over the side of the bed. She looked down at her red toes that she'd carefully polished the night before in an effort to make herself attractive to her husband. She wondered if he would even notice her attempts. Luke had been so distracted, so irritable, that she didn't know how to reach him lately.

She decided to forgo her shoes and padded barefoot downstairs to find Luke. He was in the kitchen rooting through the cabinets, taking out cookware and utensils.

"So, who were you talking to," Lorelai asked, causing Luke to jump and drop a pan he was holding. It clattered to the floor and Lorelai could only smile.

"Jeez Lorelai," Luke snapped. "Make some noise will ya! You have this annoying habit of sneaking up on me and scaring the crap out of me."

"Sorry," Lorelai muttered, the smile replaced by a frown. "Maybe I should just go back to bed."

"No!" Luke sighed and softened his voice. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I've just been on edge."

"I've noticed," Lorelai said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I was talking to your parents," Luke stated. "They called to see if we made it here okay and to let me know there was food in the house. Bob, the caretaker, had gone shopping for groceries for us."

Lorelai walked over to the fridge and opened it. She wrinkled her nose and shut the door again. "I see they were thinking of you when they made out the grocery list."

"Well, we can always go to the market later to get some crap that you like," Luke said, pulling a couple of steaks from the freezer and setting them in the microwave to defrost.

"I guess," Lorelai answered listlessly. "What are you making?"

"I thought I'd cook a couple of steaks on the grill and we could eat out on the deck," Luke said, pulling seasonings from the cabinet. He took a few potatoes from the fridge and began to wash them.

"You need any help," Lorelai inquired.

"Why don't you see if your mother has a table cloth for the table out there," Luke said, pointing to the patio set outside. "You can set the table if you want."

"You're not gonna make me eat green things, are you," Lorelai questioned. "We're on vacation. Sort of."

"Humor me," Luke replied, wrapping the potatoes in foil. "A nice tossed salad won't kill ya."

"I don't know," Lorelai said, smirking. "I've had nightmares of being chased by giant carnivorous vegetables. Haven't you ever seen Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes?"

"Stupid movie," Luke grunted, taking veggies out of the crisper compartment to wash for the offending salad. "And tomatoes are technically a fruit."

"Ha!" Lorelai smacked the counter with the palm of her hand for emphasis. "If it doesn't come in a pie crust, forget it! And I've never seen a tomato pie!"

Luke just rolled his eyes, shook his head and went back to prepping his salad.

Despite the levity during the dinner prep, the actual meal itself was, in essence, uneventful. They made small talk, but neither Luke nor Lorelai were willing to delve into the heart of the matter, the reason for this excursion to the Vineyard, the big question…what now? Avoidance seemed to be the topic of the day, as the uncomfortable silence stretched out into early evening. The meal was consumed, the dishes cleaned up and now Lorelai sat out on the deck, sipping a cup of coffee.

Luke stood in the doorway, drying his hands with the dishtowel, as he watched her. She gazed out on the water, her expression one of pensive anticipation. He could tell by the way she bit her lower lip, lost in thought. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and padded out onto the deck, the sliding patio door alerting Lorelai to his presence. He took a seat next to her and observed her for a moment. The setting sun cast a warm hue to her beautiful features, making her blue eyes even more striking. Behind those beautiful features and nearly expressionless gaze, showing only in the eyes, was a pain and uncertainty that Luke knew equaled his own.

He twisted off the cap and took a long pull on his beer, the cold liquid soothing his parched throat. The breeze blew through Lorelai's hair gently, as she took another sip of her coffee and set the cup down on the table, tracing the rim with her index finger. She opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind. All she could think about was how Emmy would love playing on this beach and that Matthew would never be able to enjoy it the way his sister would. She could feel her throat constricting with unexpressed emotion, as her eyes welled up.

"Luke," she croaked out, as she fought for control over her emotions. "Why did this happen? Was it something we did?"

"I don't know," Luke said wearily, as he finished off the beer in his hand. He began to peel the label off. He couldn't look Lorelai in the eyes, lest she see his fears reflected in them.

"I mean, I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how this could've happened," Lorelai began. "Emmy is fine. We didn't treat Matthew any differently. He was so normal as a baby. How could this happen? He wasn't sick as a baby." She gasped. "Do you think when his placenta broke during delivery it could've caused some kind of problem? You said they had to do an emergency c-section cause they were in distress."

"Yeah, but Emmy is fine," Luke said. "She wasn't affected."

"Maybe she wasn't affected cause it was Matthew's placenta that ruptured and not hers," Lorelai said.

"Lorelai, this is ridiculous," Luke said, getting irritated. "Dr. Rubin gave them a clean bill of health when he discharged them. If he even suspected something wasn't right, he wouldn't have let us take Matthew home. Maybe all that crap you ate when you were pregnant affected his brain!"

"Ouch," Lorelai winced. "That was low! And I ate the same crap when I was pregnant with Rory and she's perfectly fine! I didn't see you trying to stop me!"

"Like I could," Luke scoffed. "Yeah, I made you eat salad and drink less coffee, but don't think I didn't notice all the take out bags stuffed in the trash! And I know Sookie was indulging your addiction to all things toxic!"

"Oh, so now it's Sookie's fault," Lorelai barked, throwing up her hands. "It's no one's fault Luke!"

Luke stood up, pushing the chair back. He paced the deck, his lower jaw clenching and unclenching, his hands balled into fists, as if prepared to fight some invisible enemy. Lorelai could tell, by the rising color in his face, that Luke was ready to launch into the rant of all rants. She was never more relieved that the house was so secluded than at that moment. Luke had been so uncharacteristically reluctant to talk about Matthew the past few days. Lorelai was worried that he would withdraw from their son completely, leaving her to take care of him alone. Luke turned to her, eyes blazing, and unleashed his pent up fury.

"You think I don't know what they're saying about Matthew," He bellowed, throwing his arms out wide.

"Who," Lorelai inquired, confused.

"Everyone! The idiots who come into my diner complaining about Matthew's tantrums," Luke clarified. "They all think they know how to deal with his behaviors, and everyone has their own solution! 'He just needs a good spanking to knock some sense into him!' 'Maybe he's got allergies!' 'I can't believe Luke let's Lorelai bring him into the diner when he's so destructive!' 'He used to be such a good baby and now he's out of control!' 'The kid is weird!'"

"Our neighbors are saying that?"

"Everyone is saying that, Lorelai! Strangers have seen the way he acts! They shake their heads and move to another table or leave, as their kids call our son a retard!" Luke was now yelling at the top of his lungs. "One snot nosed punk called Matthew a freak of nature! I wanted to ring the brat's neck till his eyes popped out! Oh, but then his idiot parents would've had me arrested for attempted murder, and you'd be visiting me in prison while some huge gorilla named 'The Rod' makes me his date for the evening!"

"Luke, calm down," Lorelai said, trying to remain calm herself. She could see the vein bulging in his forehead, as he continued to pace about the deck, yelling obscenities.

"I don't wanna calm down," Luke raged. "I've been more than calm for too long! Dammit Lorelai! This is our son they're talking about! They call us bad parents and look down their noses at us, like they're so much better than we are!"

"I can't believe our friends would say such horrible things about Matthew, or us," Lorelai said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Oh no," Luke growled. "Our friends pity us! How many invites have you gotten from our friends to do anything? Other than Sookie and Jackson."

Lorelai thought for a moment and reality hit her with a jolting slam in the gut.

"You can't answer, can you?" Luke was seething. The look of pain on Lorelai's face tore him wide open. "Our son will never be normal! He'll never be like other kids! He'll always be pitied or treated like a freak, because he is!"

"No," Lorelai screamed. "I refuse to believe that! Matthew is NOT a freak, no matter what anyone says! He's our SON! And he needs us!"

"We failed him, Lorelai! I failed him! He's a lost cause! We may as well just put him in one of those facilities where they would take care of him twenty-four hours a day!"

"How can you say that," Lorelai croaked, her voice hoarse from yelling and the tears that threatened to fall. "We can't just give up on him. I won't give up on him!"

Luke let out a growl of frustration and swept his hand across the table, sending the beer bottle and coffee cup flying across the deck. Lorelai jumped, as the items shattered against the wall of the house. Luke began grabbing anything within reach and flinging them, as he bellowed obscenities into the night air. Deck chairs went sailing across the patio, the cushions landing in the sand. He was a man out of control. Lorelai bolted out of her chair and backed toward the deck rail, out of the way of the destruction. Luke picked up each of the large terracotta pots that adorned the deck with their displays of plants and flowers and hurled them. Lorelai watched in horror as they smashed, sending dirt everywhere. With one last roar, Luke latched on to the edge of the table, his red face covered in sweat.

"Luke! No," Lorelai screamed, realizing his intent. She barely had time to turn away and cover her head when Luke heaved the large table, knocking it over on its side, the glass top shattering into a million tiny fragments over the deck. Lorelai could feel the sting as she was hit by flying glass. She turned to face Luke, shaking the glass out of her hair, and caught a glimpse of him as he hopped the wooden railing and landed on the sand below. He took off running down the beach.

Lorelai survey the devastation to her parents' once pristine patio, her mouth agape in disbelief. She'd never seen Luke like this. It looked like a bomb went off on the deck with toppled furniture, shards of glass, broken terracotta pots, dirt and plants everywhere. She looked down at her bare feet and shook the glass off them. She turned and carefully scaled the wooden railing surrounding the deck, dropping to the sand below. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, as she took off running down the beach to catch Luke.

"Luke! Wait! Stop!" Lorelai thought her heart was going to explode in her chest. She wasn't one to exercise to begin with, but trying to chase her former high school track star husband down the beach was severely testing her limits. Luke finally slowed down and dropped to his knees in the sand, panting and gasping for air. Lorelai caught up to him and flopped down in the sand next to him, completely spent, not only from the run but also from the sheer impact of Luke's meltdown.

"Luke," she whispered, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder. She could feel his shuddering breaths, as he sat down and wrapped his arms around himself. He looked so small for a man who, only minutes ago, was pulling an Incredible Hulk demonstration.

"All the dreams we had for Matthew…they'll never happen now," Luke whispered hoarsely, his voice sounding weak and strained. "When we found out you were carrying twins, I was over the moon. All I could think about was being a father and watching them grow. When we found out we were having a boy and a girl, I thought everything was perfect. I'd have a little girl who would adore me, and a son to pass on the lessons I'd learned from my father."

Lorelai could feel the tears stinging her eyes, along with the blowing sand, as she listened to Luke's heart breaking, as he poured out his grief.

"I was going to teach him how to fish and about the joys of camping out in the woods," Luke said brokenly. "I was going to teach him how to work with his hands and build something he could be proud of. I'll never forget the smile on my dad's face when I built my first boat. I was five and had made it out of Popsicle sticks and glue. We took it down to the lake to see if it would float. It did. I'll never get to do those things with Matthew."

A sob caught in his throat, as he shook his head.

"Our boy doesn't even know we exist," Luke choked out. "He won't be able to play like other kids. He'll always be treated differently. I miss his smiles and his laughter. I miss the way he could cuddle up with his blanket and hum when I would play the guitar. I miss tickling him, as he squealed 'no, Daddy!' I miss his little voice and the words he no longer uses. I want our son back! I want to be his daddy and not some object, no different from the vacuum hose he spends hours studying. I want him to see me, to see us, and know that we exist. I want to reach him so bad."

"I know," Lorelai whispered. "I want that too, more than anything. Oh Luke…" She couldn't continue, as her grief and pain overwhelmed her, and she broke down in tears.

Luke pulled his wife into his lap and enveloped her in his arms, as she clung to him sobbing. He gave in to the pain that had been exposed, raw and unyielding, by the release of his anger. Stripped away of the unjustness of Matthew's plight, Luke was left with the deep grief of a father whose dreams for his child had been ripped from him, like the pages of a book. It was Matthew's story and it was now torn asunder, the beautiful hopes and dreams fading, as the pages blew away in the winds of change.

Luke gave in to the pain; a guttural howl ripping from his very core. His whole body shook, as the sobs overtook him. He held onto Lorelai tightly, as they both wept. Luke was not one to cry. There were very few times in his life when he broke down in tears: the day his mother died, the day his father died, when Rory was in her car accident, when he proposed to Lorelai, on their wedding day, the birth of the twins…no, Luke Danes was a man who kept his emotions in tact. Now he couldn't hold back. It was as if the memory of every traumatic event in his life exploded from the deepest recesses of his psyche in one huge tidal wave of emotion.

Eventually the distraught parents stopped crying, exhausted from the whole experience. Lorelai turned to face the water and leaned back into Luke. She looked up into his eyes as he looked into hers, each mirroring the others' deepest fears. Their tear stained faces glistened in the moonlight as they both struggled to regain their composure. It was out in the open now. There were no more boundaries between them.

They sat for a long time, neither of them speaking. There were no words that could convey their shared grief over Matthew's autism. Lorelai shuddered, as the cool night air blew through her thin camisole. Luke wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. He could smell her perfume, mixed with the salty ocean air, as he nuzzled her neck. She turned her head to give him better access. She could feel his tears dropping on her skin, as he buried his face in her neck. Once again Lorelai was overcome with emotion and wept softy, as Luke rocked her in his embrace.

Luke felt as if the life had been drained from him. He was so exhausted that he could barely move. He held Lorelai as she wept, the sound of the waves lapping at the shore drowning out her sobs. He felt strangely comforted by the sound. It was constant, soothing and rhythmic, and it seemed to fill him with that life force that his spent rage had drained from him. The moonlight danced on the water like thousands of tiny diamonds. If circumstances were different, this would have been the most romantic moment they'd shared in a long time. But circumstances were what they were, and this moment brought comfort instead of passion, release instead of romance.

Now that his feelings were out in the open, he needed to repair the damage he'd caused. He needed to erase the pain he saw in his wife's beautiful features. He knew all too well that he was one of the main reasons for that pain. He'd failed not only his children but also his wife, and he hoped that Lorelai would be able to forgive him for not being there for her. Luke held onto Lorelai tightly, hoping that maybe the sheer force of his love would take away her pain and stop the tears from falling.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear. He kissed her cheek, tasting her salty tears on his lips. "I've said those words so many times that they probably have no meaning, but I do mean it. I love you so much Lorelai. I know right now I'm the world's biggest ass, and I've pushed you away when you needed me most, but I do love you. The last thing I wanted was for you to see me like this."

"Like what? Vulnerable? Human? Like a father who just received devastating news about his only son?" Lorelai held onto his forearms and leaned back against him, drained and in pain. "Luke, you have to let me in," she croaked hoarsely, her throat raw from yelling.

"I know," Luke sighed. "I didn't want you to see me so weak and out of control."

"I'd rather see you rant than have you ignore me," Lorelai said softly. "And I can't cry for both of us Luke. I need to know how you feel, and that you need me as much as I need you."

"I do need you Lorelai," Luke whispered, his voice cracking with emotion.

"And I need you to take me back to the house and make love to me," Lorelai said, a sob catching in her throat. "I don't want to talk about Matthew any more tonight. We can discuss what to do tomorrow. Now that you've expended your rage on my parents' patio, I need you to show me gentle, loving Luke."

"He's right here," Luke whispered, lifting her chin to kiss her tenderly on the lips.

"I love my Incredible Hulk," Lorelai murmured, stroking Luke's scruffy cheek.

"Couldn't I just be Bruce Banner instead," Luke inquired, helping Lorelai to her feet.

"Okay," Lorelai said softly. "Take me to bed Bruce. And be gentle with me. I've had a rough day." She entwined her hand in his and they walked back toward the house.


	14. Chapter 14

**I finally finished this chapter! Luke and Lorelai continue their weekend getaway. I hope you enjoy it. Life is still challenging, but I will do my best to post as frequently as I can. Please review cause it really makes my day and gives me incentive to write. Thanks so much for all the reviews of the last chapter! You guys are so awesome! Your reviews make me dance around my computer with joy! Hugs to everyone! Now let's find out how Luke and Lorelai recover from the meltdown to end all meltdowns.**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino.** **Enjoy!**

**Chapter 14: Kissin' The Boo Boos**

By the time they reached the house, Lorelai was limping slightly. She must have gotten some glass in her foot after all. They stopped at the patio and Luke finally saw the results of his rage. He shook his head, embarrassed at having lost control. He could only imagine how scared Lorelai must have been.

"You know my parents are going to kill you," Lorelai stated. "Forget Dad, Mom's gonna take out a contract on your life and the next thing you'll know, you'll find yourself being fitted in cement shoes and sleepin' with the fishes."

"You watch way too many movies," Luke frowned. "I'll just tell her you ate the furniture."

"And you think I'M crazy," Lorelai said, leaning on his shoulder, as she lifted her right foot to check for shards of glass.

"Don't worry," Luke said. "I'm going to pay for it."

"Yes you are," Lorelai nodded. "For the rest of your life, I'm sure." She winced, seeing some blood oozing from the bottom of her foot.

"I'll clean this up in the morning," Luke said, scooping Lorelai up in his arms. "You're hurt and I don't want you stepping in any more glass."

"And here I thought you were being all chivalrous," Lorelai said, a small smile playing on the corners of her mouth.

"Too tired to be chivalrous," Luke said, carrying her around the side of the house. He stepped up to the front door and opened it, while balancing Lorelai in his arms.

"Take me upstairs to the master bath," Lorelai said. "I want to shower in case I've got more glass on me.

Luke sighed. "I can't believe I lost it like a madman. You could've been seriously hurt. I swear it'll never happen again."

Luke carried Lorelai up to the master bath and set her down on the toilet lid. He searched for some tweezers, antiseptic and bandages, while Lorelai carefully shook her hair to remove any remnants of glass. She slowly removed her clothes, gathering the items in a ball in case she had any glass trapped in the folds. She plucked a few pieces out of her bra before removing it as well. She sat naked on the toilet seat checking for damages. She noticed some small cuts on her arms where tiny fragments of glass pummeled her body.

Luke entered the bathroom with towels and changes of clothes for the both of them. He also set a first aid kit on the edge of the sink. When he saw Lorelai's glass battered body and the forlorn look on her face, he felt horrible. He sank down to his knees and placed his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his disheveled hair.

"I am so sorry," he whispered hoarsely.

"I know, Babe," Lorelai murmured, as she leaned down to kiss the top of his head.

Luke sat back and lifted Lorelai's foot across her left knee. He gently cleaned the cut with antiseptic, as Lorelai winced from the pain. He spotted the shard of glass and used the tweezers to remove it. Luckily the cut wasn't too deep. After she showered, a couple of Band Aids would do the trick. He stood up and began to strip off his own clothes. He turned on the water in the shower and adjusted the temperature.

The remorse Luke felt at his actions lately, especially tonight, was tremendous. He wanted to make it up to Lorelai. As she stood under the spray of water, letting it cascade down her head and shoulders, Luke could see the exhaustion in her red eyes, swollen from crying. He applied shampoo to her drenched hair and massaged it into her scalp. She leaned against his chest as he lathered her hair, too tired to stand alone. Luke rinsed her hair and began to gently wash her body with a soapy washcloth. He would have made love to her right there in the shower, if she didn't look so spent. After Lorelai washed Luke, they both just stood under the spray of water holding each other.

Luke turned off the water and climbed out of the shower first, assisting an injured Lorelai. They dried off with the towels then wrapped them around their bodies, neither wanting to get dressed. Lorelai sat on the toilet lid again and applied antibiotic ointment and two Band Aids to the sole of her right foot over the still slightly oozing cut. Lorelai stood up and dropped the towel, exposing herself to Luke. She took his hand and led him to the bed. She sprawled out on the bed, her damp hair fanning out on the pillow.

Neither of them said a word. There was nothing to say. They knew each other so well: all they had to do was read each other's faces. Their eyes spoke volumes. All Luke wanted to do was comfort his wife, to show her that he was all in. He felt raw, ripped open wide emotionally, and knew she felt the same way. Never had he let anyone see him so vulnerable. Never had he lost control so vehemently and with so much unresolved pain. Now Lorelai had seen a side of him that he felt ashamed existed, his own fallible weakness. Their eyes connected, the pain very evident in the unshed tears each fought so hard to contain.

"Love me, Luke," Lorelai whispered hoarsely, her voice choked with emotion.

"Always," Luke choked out, overcome himself. "No matter what happens Lorelai, I will always love you…as much as I love our kids. I've been a crappy husband and father lately and I want to change. I just don't know how."

"Just don't give up on us, okay," Lorelai croaked, her tears seeping from the outside corners of her eyes down the side of her face. "We need you. I need you."

Luke cupped her face gently in his hands and placed a tender kiss to her trembling lips. Lorelai pulled him closer, desperate for more contact. A pleading sob escaped her lips as she sought comfort in his nearness. They kissed passionately, each drinking in the tender comfort of their connection. Luke covered Lorelai's face with kisses, wanting nothing more than to take away her pain and stop her tears from falling. Each salty tear that he kissed away brought him one step closer to her, one heartbeat deeper in love with her.

He could feel her melting into his touch, as her soft sobs turned into moans. Her breathing became shallow and ragged, as Luke continued his gentle ministrations. He caressed every inch of her, hoping to soothe her anxieties. She held him tight, not wanting to break the loving bond they felt. Luke worked his way down Lorelai's body, massaging her soft skin with his rough work worn hands, and kissing, nibbling, and sucking each area. He sought nothing less than their unity in body and soul. His love for her was far from perfect, but he wanted her to know she was the only one for him, and nothing would ever change that.

Luke kissed his way down her legs, as he slid down to the end of the bed. He lifted her right foot and gave her a smile, as he kissed each toe. She began to giggle, and tried to pull her foot away, but Luke continued kissing his way up her instep. He turned her foot, and with another playful smile, tenderly placed a kiss to her bandaged cut. She stopped squirming, a huge grin spreading across her face.

"You kissed the boo boo," she exclaimed, as she burst out laughing.

"Yeah well, you wouldn't have injured yourself if it weren't for me," Luke said contritely.

"Up here now," Lorelai commanded, as she pulled him up over her body. "I need you to kiss more than my boo boo."

She crushed his lips with hers in a searing kiss, as Luke filled her. In that moment of levity, Luke knew that things would be okay between them. He had made her laugh after all, and there was no sound he'd rather hear right now than the sound of her laughter.

Lorelai lay sprawled out on the bed, tangled in the sheets, her head on Luke's stomach. He lay on his back, his right hand caressing her tangled curls splayed across his stomach. She took his left hand and brought it to her lips, kissing it. He cupped her face, stroking along her cheek with his thumb. Lorelai shifted and slid up next to Luke, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I miss the kids," she murmured, running her fingers through the fine hair on his chest. "I needed this time away so much, yet I really miss them."

"Me too," Luke admitted, rubbing her arm lightly. "I miss reading Emmy her bedtime story while you settle Matthew down."

"Luke," Lorelai questioned, looking up into his eyes. "Why did you withdraw from Matty? You used to be so attentive to him, and now it's like you don't want anything to do with him. I can't deal with him by myself. I need your help."

"I know, I know," Luke groaned, tensing up slightly. "I'm just afraid that I'll lose control with him and take my anger out on him. I know he can't help himself, and he doesn't understand, but it makes me crazy sometimes. I see how it affects you and I just get so damn pissed!"

"I get angry too Luke," Lorelai acknowledged, "but we need to understand what's going on in Matthew's head. Can you imagine how overwhelming life must be for him? He didn't used to scream and throw tantrums when he was a toddler. He was so sweet and happy. Now everything seems to set him off. I just want to understand what's going on. Why is he like this? What can we do to help him?"

"I just don't get how he could be growing so normally, walking, talking, doing everything other kids his age do, and then go backwards," Luke said, shaking his head. "How could he now be retarded and completely incapable of interacting with anyone?"

"I hate that term…retarded," Lorelai said, frowning. "It sounds so horrible. I don't think he's retarded at all. I think he's just kind of lost inside himself and doesn't know how to get back to us."

"It just makes me so mad that everyone has judged our son, and us, because of his autism," Luke said, holding Lorelai close. "I don't know if I'm more angry or upset that the sweet little guy, that we both had such high hopes and dreams for, is gone."

"I know," Lorelai whispered, holding Luke tighter. "I miss our sweet baby boy. I want him back. I can't watch the video of the twins first birthday without crying! I see Matty so happy, chattering with everyone, asking for 'happy cake', and it just breaks my heart. He used to snuggle with me and ask for his blanky when he was tired. He doesn't ask for anything any more. He doesn't even look at us."

Lorelai couldn't continue, as the pain washed over her again. As she began to cry, Luke held her close, kissing her tenderly.

"Lorelai, we can't just lay here crying over the past," Luke said softly. "Believe me, I feel the same way, but there has to be something we can do for Matthew to help him. We need to concentrate on that."

Lorelai sniffled and wiped away her tears with the edge of the sheet.

"So now what do we do," she wondered forlornly. "He and Emmy are supposed to start preschool in the fall. Emmy is definitely ready, but Matty won't be able to go with her."

"I guess it's time to look into one of the special schools for autistic kids that Dr. Reitman recommended," Luke answered with a sigh.

"I wish Matthew and Emmy could go to school together," Lorelai sighed. "Emmy's having a hard time with all this."

"You know we're going to have to explain it to her," Luke said, running his fingers through Lorelai's hair. "She's a smart kid Lorelai. She knows her brother isn't like other kids."

"She reminds me of Rory as a little girl, so smart and inquisitive," Lorelai pondered. "While she may be more outgoing than Rory, she's also extremely sensitive. Luke, you had to see her the other night when I was packing. She was afraid we weren't coming back and that somehow it was her fault!"

"I keep forgetting that Matthew's autism affects her too," Luke muttered. "She's just so smart. I keep forgetting that she's just a little girl. She has no clue as to why her brother won't play with her and why he attacks her when he has a meltdown. No wonder she feels like it's her fault!" He shook his head with remorse.

"I feel so guilty spending so much time and energy on Matthew," Lorelai said, frowning. "I feel like I'm neglecting Emmy. She wants so much attention from me during the day and I'm too exhausted from dealing with Matthew. That's why I need you to help me Luke. I feel like I'm stretched thin with trying to run the Dragonfly, take care of Matthew, and give Emmy enough attention as well. It's just too much!"

"I promise to try harder," Luke said, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"So I guess we try the special school for Matty then," Lorelai said with a yawn. "As much as I'll miss having him around, I could definitely use a few hours of sanity each day."

"We live in Stars Hollow," Luke stated. "There is no sanity."

Lorelai giggled. "Okay, how about some much needed 'me' time each day so I don't get all Girl Interrupted and start hiding chicken carcasses under the bed."

"You do that now," Luke said, smiling.

"Fast food wrappers don't count," Lorelai replied with a huge grin on her face. "I mean, I don't want to end up on the funny farm, running from nurse Ratched, while she tries to fit me with one of those 'love me jackets'!"

"I love you, crazy lady," Luke chuckled, pulling her close and kissing her tenderly.

"I love you too, burger boy," Lorelai giggled, as she playfully swatted his arm. "Now go fix me a snack. All that lovin' makes me hungry."

"What DOESN'T make you hungry," Luke snorted, as he rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom to find the clothes he never had a chance to put on after the shower.

The rest of the night went much better. They talked, ate, talked some more and made love again, each sinking into the warmth of their love for each other. As tired as they both were, they felt renewed and energized at having come to an understanding about what to do for Matthew. The stress of not communicating dissolved into the security of unity. Eventually, exhaustion took hold again and they fell into a relaxed sleep, safe in each other's arms.

Lorelai's nose was awake before she was, as an aroma of bacon and fresh coffee wafted into her dreams. She inhaled deeply and smiled, as she tried to peel her eyes open. Once she cleared her vision enough to see, she noticed the empty spot next to her. She stretched and untangled herself from the wad of sheets and blankets. She sat up and yawned, looking over at the clock on the nightstand. Her eyebrows shot up when she realized it was after one in the afternoon. She felt the call of nature and padded off to the bathroom.

Luke entered the bedroom with a tray filled with food, a carafe full of coffee for Lorelai, and orange juice for himself. He was about to set the tray down on the bed, when Lorelai emerged from the bathroom. She sauntered over to Luke with a huge smile on her face.

"You're naked," Luke stated, as Lorelai climbed back into bed, covering herself with the sheet.

"And you're dressed," she replied, shifting herself up against the headboard.

"Yeah, well, splattering bacon grease plus certain parts of the anatomy don't mix," Luke smirked, setting the tray on Lorelai's lap. "That and I didn't want to give the neighbors a show while I cleaned up the destruction on the patio. It took me over an hour. And you're right…I am a dead man."

"Why didn't you wake me," Lorelai inquired, taking a bite out of the bacon. "I would've helped."

"My mess, my responsibility," Luke said, kicking off his shoes. He was about to climb into bed when Lorelai held up a hand to stop him.

"Lose 'em mister," she said, gesturing to his attire. He looked puzzled for a moment. "Hello? Naked woman in bed?"

Luke smiled and quickly shed his clothes. He climbed into bed and snuggled up to Lorelai, kissing her on the cheek. "Gorgeous, naked wife in bed," he corrected. He picked up a fork and began stabbing some scrambled eggs with it. He grinned, as he held the fork up to Lorelai's lips. She smiled and accepted his offer.

"Are you trying to make up to me for the way you've been treating me lately," she inquired, chewing thoughtfully.

"Got a lot of making up to do," Luke nodded, taking a bite of toast. "And there will be much more making up after breakfast," he said with a wink.

"Looking forward to it," Lorelai purred, kissing him full on the lips. He licked his lips.

"Mmm, secondhand bacon," he muttered sarcastically, gazing into her eyes.

Lorelai giggled. "You love it. Admit it."

Luke shook his head and grinned. "Love YOU, crazy lady."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Lorelai giggled, as Luke assaulted her neck with kisses.

"That's what I'm hoping," he growled, then nibbled her ear.

Lorelai squealed with laughter and gave him a shove. "Food first, lovin' later, burger boy!"

A few hours later, Lorelai lay cradled in Luke's arms, listening to the sound of the waves lapping at the shore through the open window. Luke was dozing next to her, his soft snores mingling with the sound of the seagulls on the beach outside. She had a feeling she was forgetting something, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember what. She sighed, wracking her brain, trying to recall the illusive thing. Suddenly it dawned on her and she bolted upright in bed, jolting Luke out of his nap.

"Crap! Crap, crap, crap," she muttered, reaching over to grab her cell phone from the nightstand. She quickly dialed and waited for the phone to be answered.

"What's wrong," Luke mumbled, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.

"Sookie?" Lorelai ran her fingers through her disheveled hair, brushing it off her face. "Oh my god! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"You DID tell Kirk to come by and baby proof the house," Sookie inquired. "I've been trying to get rid of him for over an hour! He won't leave!"

"Where is he now," Lorelai asked, almost afraid to find out the answer.

"Well, after he got stuck in the flue trying to check your fireplace for escape routes, he crawled out an upstairs window and the last I saw, he was on the roof." Sookie sounded panicked. "Why is he here again?"

"He kept pestering me last week in the diner about his new Baby Security business," Lorelai said, wincing. "He wouldn't go away till I said he could come over and assess the house."

"Wait! You gave Kirk permission to enter our house? And do what," Luke bellowed, trying to grab the phone from Lorelai. She pressed the speakerphone button.

"Kirk," Sookie yelled in the background. "What are you doing? Wait! That's a drill! Why do you have a drill, Kirk?"

"I swear I'm gonna drill his head, if he damages our house," Luke scowled. They could hear the sound of a power drill in the background.

"It's to install the door alarms," Kirk called out in the distance.

"Door alarms? What door alarms? Kirk, you were only supposed to assess our house, not install anything," Lorelai called out into the phone.

"Kirk! Lorelai doesn't want you to install anything," Sookie relayed. "Kirk! Drop that drill! I mean it! Don't make me hurt you!"

Emmy came running through the front door with Rory behind her, setting off a loud, high pitched, shrieking alarm.

"Whoa," Lorelai yelped, yanking the phone away from her. "Sookie? Sookie! What's going on?"

Lorelai and Luke could hear a scuffle, as both Emmy and Matthew began to cry at the incessant noise. They looked at each other, then back at the phone in Lorelai's hand, picturing the scene on the other end.

Sookie grabbed a hammer from Kirk's toolbox, shoved him off the step stool, and began smashing the offending alarm to pieces. Kirk picked himself up off the floor and tried to wrestle the hammer from Sookie's hands. Emmy stood nearby, holding her hands over her ears, while Matthew screamed. Rory, picked the flailing boy up, grabbed her purse and ran with him out to her car to escape the alarm. She quickly strapped him in his seat and got in the driver side. As she pulled out of the driveway, Emmy began to cry inconsolably, while staring out the window. Sookie chased Kirk around the house with the hammer, threatening to add more lumps to his head. Kirk tripped over Paul Anka in an effort to escape Sookie and fell flat on his face. The poor dog took off running upstairs and hid under the bed.

"Sookie? Sookie, pick up the phone," Lorelai yelled into the phone. Emmy noticed the phone on the floor and picked it up. "What's going on?"

"Mommy? Mommy!" Emmy sobbed into the phone.

"Sweetpea! Are you okay," Lorelai asked. She could hear Sookie yelling at Kirk in the background. "Where's Rory, honey?"

"She took Matty in the car and left," Emmy wailed. "She didn't take me too!"

"Oh baby! Rory probably just took Matty real quick to get him away from all the noise," Lorelai said, trying to reason with her little girl.

"Mommy, come home!" Emmy begged, through her tears. "I want you and Daddy to come home!"

"Sweetpea, Mommy and I will be home tomorrow," Luke reassured. "Rory will be right back and Aunt Sookie will make Kirk go away. You're a big girl now."

"No Daddy! I'm not a big girl! I'm little," Emmy sobbed.

Sookie tossed Kirk's tools out on the lawn and shoved him out the front door.

"Hey! I haven't paid those tools off yet," Kirk whined, picking up the scattered tools from the lawn. "I bought them from Mother. She said that, if I break them, she'll break me. Mother is four hundred pounds! She could snap me like a twig."

"If you don't leave now Kirk, I'LL snap you like a twig," Sookie said.

"I'm going," Kirk said, picking up his toolbox. "Tell Lorelai I'll come by the Dragonfly on Monday with an estimate for baby proofing her home."

Sookie went back into the house and took the phone from Emmy.

"Lorelai? You don't have to worry about a thing. Rory and I have it under control," Sookie assured her friend. "Kirk is gone and Rory took Matthew for a car ride to calm him down. Emmy sweetie, how would you like to make homemade Play Doh with me?"

"Are you sure everything is fine," Lorelai queried cautiously.

"Absolutely! Don't worry, honey, everything is great," Sookie said enthusiastically. "Now you two go enjoy the rest of your weekend! And stop worrying!"

Lorelai and Luke said goodbye to Emmy and flipped the phone closed. They just stared at each other for a moment, shaking their heads.

"You know, we're going to have to talk to Emmy soon," Luke said finally.

"I'll take her out for a special Mommy/daughter day and we'll talk," Lorelai nodded.


	15. Chapter 15

**Wow! It only took me a week this time to write this! It's another one of my favorites. Lorelai and Luke end their weekend getaway, Matthew starts school, and Lorelai and Emmy finally have their mommy/daughter day! I loved writing that part! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter! So many people couldn't wait for the mommy/daughter day, so I had to get crackin' with the writing to make you all do the happy dance around your computers, like I do every time I get a review! Lol! Thank you all sincerely from the bottom of my heart for your awesome reviews. They are really uplifting and are helping me get through** **this difficult time in my life. I love writing and will continueas long as people want to read my words. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. Lilo and Stitch is owned by Disney. Gilmore girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino. No copyright infringement intended. This story is for entertainment purposes only.**

**Chapter 15: The Wisdom Of Emily Ann**

Sunday morning Lorelai woke very early, earlier in fact than Luke. The bedroom was just light enough to see in as she pulled on a tank top and shorts and, grabbing her flip-flops, headed downstairs. She quietly opened the door to the patio and went outside. She smiled, remembering how Luke decided to man up about the destroyed patio to Emily and Richard. He had to hold the phone away from his ear, as Emily yelled her displeasure into it. Once he figured she'd spent all her energy, Luke told her everything. She became quiet. Too quiet.

"And you decided to take out your frustrations on my patio," Emily acknowledged with a sigh.

"I'm really sorry, Emily," Luke said for the fourth time. "Please…I want to pay for the damages. If you tell me where you bought the furniture, I'll replace it today. I'll replace all the destroyed plants too."

"That won't be necessary," Emily said, calmly. "As expensive as that patio set was, I never really liked it. I was thinking about replacing it anyway. You just made up my mind for me."

Luke rolled his eyes. "That still doesn't make it okay. I wrecked your patio and I want to pay you back."

"Fine. If you must," Emily conceded. "I will send you the bill for the furniture. Don't worry about the plants. I hated those terracotta pots. They came with the house when we bought it. They were huge and unsightly. I just didn't have the energy to move them, so you did me a favor, Luke. Now I can set up the patio the way I like it."

"So…you're not going to kill me," Luke asked sheepishly. "Cause I think Lorelai would really miss me." Lorelai giggled in the background.

Emily laughed. "I think you're safe for now. I'm just glad you decided to take it out on my furniture and not my daughter."

"I think I scared the crap out of her though," Luke said. "But we talked…a lot. We're going to be okay."

Lorelai stood out on the empty patio that Luke had so expertly cleaned of all debris. The sky was ablaze with color, as the sun peeked over the horizon. She discarded her flip-flops and headed for a walk on the beach. She was still surprised that her mother understood about the damage to her patio set. She still expected her to act with impunity, based on past experiences, but now Emily seemed to loosen the reigns, so to speak. She was relieved that her mother wouldn't hold this against Luke.

Lorelai walked at the water's edge, enjoying the feeling of the cool water lapping at her feet and the soft wet sand squishing between her toes. She bent down to pick up some interesting shells that she knew Emmy would love. She shook the wet sand out of them and rinsed them in the foamy waves. She carefully placed them in her shorts pocket and turned to look back down the beach. The sun reflected off the sand and water, giving it rainbow hues. Her lone set of footprints was quickly being washed away by the incoming tide.

It was such a relaxing moment, so quiet, so stress free. Lorelai stood there, at the water's edge, staring out on the water for a long time. She was lost in thought. As much as she enjoyed this weekend with Luke, she really missed Matthew and Emmy. She wanted them to be here enjoying this too. She could see Emmy, in her mind's eye, running down the beach with her arms out, pretending to fly like a seagull. Emmy would be laughing and running away from the waves, before they knocked her on her little butt. She could see Emmy building a sand castle with Luke, chatting away about princesses and dragons and the handsome prince who would save the day.

Lorelai turned and faced the beach, her face clouding over, as she pictured Matthew at the beach. Her boy wouldn't leave the blanket because he hated the feeling of sand anywhere on his body. The waves scared him too. He would just sit on the blanket, rocking and flapping, staring off into space, oblivious to anyone around him. He wouldn't play with his sister or her and Luke. He would just sit and wait to go home, where he felt safe.

She could feel the tears stinging her eyes and she tried to blink them away. She was so tired of crying. She just felt so bad that Matthew seemed so out of touch with everything and everyone around him. She wanted more than anything to have her little boy back. She knew Matthew was in there somewhere, locked deep inside himself. She wanted to help him find his way back to her, to his family. She sniffled and wiped away the few tears that managed to slide down her cheeks. Suddenly a steaming mug of coffee appeared before her and a strong arm wrapped around her from behind.

"I thought you might like this, since you were up before me," Luke said, hugging her from behind. "I had to hunt you down," he chuckled. "I'm the one who's supposed to be the early riser, breakfast maker and coffee supplier."

"Yeah, well, you're slackin'," Lorelai said softly, taking a sip of the coffee in her hand. "I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep. I figured a walk on the beach might do me some good." She turned to look at him, her eyes brimming with tears.

"What's wrong," Luke asked, getting alarmed.

"Nothing," Lorelai said, shaking her head. "Just missing the kids, that's all."

Luke pulled her into a tender embrace and kissed her. "Yeah…I miss them too."

"Luke? I'm ready to go home now," Lorelai murmured against his t-shirt clad shoulder. "I mean, I love it here, but I miss the kids and I'm worried about Emmy."

"We'll pack after breakfast," Luke nodded. "Right now, I want to spend these last few hours with my beautiful wife, before we go back to being parents again."

"You know, there's no one on the beach this early," Lorelai said, with a gleam in her eye. "Can I bury you in the sand?" She giggled and finished off the last of her coffee.

"No, but you might be able to convince me to join you in your walk on the beach," Luke said, smiling.

"How about a snuggle in the sand," Lorelai asked, placing little kisses to his neck.

"We don't have a blanket," Luke stated. "And I don't feel like getting sand in every crack and crevice."

"Ah! That's what the shower is for," Lorelai announced, pulling Luke close and kissing him passionately on the lips.

"Yeah, that shower has definitely seen some action this weekend," Luke chuckled.

"Make out with me now, and I'll make sure that you're extra clean for the trip home," Lorelai cooed, nibbling on his ear. "I'll even let you check my cracks and crevices for sand." She burst out laughing when Luke screwed up his face in disgust.

"I know, I know! Dirty," Luke said, rolling his eyes.

"You like me dirty," Lorelai said, grinning.

"I like to see that smile and hear you laugh," Luke said. "I miss it. I haven't seen it in a while."

"As long as you keep me fed, loved and supported, you'll see that smile much more, I promise," Lorelai purred, nuzzling his neck. "Now let's play in the sand before the neighbors wake up."

Little Emmy Danes paced the living room, anxiously awaiting the arrival of her parents. She must have gone to the windows to look out a hundred times! Every time she heard a car, she flew to the window. She didn't want to read with Rory. She didn't want to help Aunt Sookie make a special cake to go with the welcome home meal she was cooking. No, all Emmy wanted was Mommy and Daddy, and the waiting was torture.

"Rory, when are Mommy and Daddy coming home," Emmy asked for the hundredth time that day.

Rory sighed. "They called a little while ago. They'll be home soon."

"But when," Emmy persisted, with a whine.

"When they get here," Rory stated patiently.

"Will they be home 'fore I have to go to bed," Emmy asked.

"If they don't get stuck in traffic," Rory replied, "they should be home in time for dinner. Aunt Sookie is cooking so Daddy doesn't have to."

"Cause he'll be tired," Emmy confirmed, nodding.

"That's right," Rory said, taking her little sister's hand and guiding her away from the window. "Why don't we make the time go by much faster while we wait for Mommy and Daddy? How about we watch a movie?"

"Okay," Emmy said, frowning. "Can we watch Lilo And Stitch? Stitch is funny! Blue punch buggy!" Emmy tried to put on her best Stitch voice as she said, "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind."

"Or forgotten," Rory added, completing Stitch's words of wisdom. "And you won't be forgotten either kiddo. Mommy and Daddy will be home soon. Why don't you see if Aunt Sookie has any popcorn for our special sister time?"

Emmy ran into the kitchen to grab some snacks, while Rory set up the video.

Lorelai sat in the passenger side of the jeep, as Luke drove them home. She stared out the window at the scenery passing by, her mind on one thing only…her children. She hoped that everything was okay and that Kirk was the only incident during the weekend. Since she hadn't received any panicked phone calls from Sookie or Rory, she figured they were handling it well. It didn't stop her from worrying though and, as relaxing a weekend as it was; she was feeling the return of the gnawing pain in her stomach. She tried not to focus on it and glanced over at Luke.

"Do you think everything went okay at home," she inquired, biting her lower lip.

"I'm sure everything was fine," Luke said, glancing her way. "If there was a problem, we would have gotten a call. We'll be home soon and you can check for yourself."

Lorelai chuckled and shook her head. "You know, for the longest time, all I could think about was getting away from them and taking a vacation. I felt like I was losing my mind! Then when I finally get the chance to get away, all I do is worry about them and miss them! You really did marry a crazy lady."

"Yep," Luke said, smiling. He grasped Lorelai's hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "My crazy lady," he said, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it tenderly. "Let's go see our babies," he said grinning, as they pulled into Stars Hollow.

Emmy sat transfixed on the TV as Stitch, Jamba and Pleakley raced to rescue Lilo from Gantu's spaceship. Suddenly, the sound of two car doors shutting startled her and she gasped. Emmy flew to the window and let out a shriek.

"They're here! They're here! Mommy! Daddy! They're home!" She tore open the front door and bolted outside, leaving Rory behind to chase a frightened Matthew, who also bolted out the front door.

Emmy reached her parents before they made it to the porch. She jumped up into her father's arms and threw her arms around his neck, showering him with kisses.

"Daddy! You're home! I missed you," she said beginning to cry.

"Hey Sweetpea! Don't cry. I told you we'd be back," Luke replied, hugging his little girl tightly.

"Hey baby girl," Lorelai said softly, trying not to become emotional. "Were you good for Rory and Aunt Sookie?"

Emmy nodded, reaching out for Lorelai to take her. Lorelai took her from Luke and hugged her, kissing her cheeks.

"Mommy…don't go away again," Emmy pleaded against her neck, her tiny voice barely audible. "I want you to stay with me."

"Now you know, you're a big girl now and you'll be going to preschool soon," Lorelai said, stroking her daughter's soft curls. "Mommy can't go with you to school. I don't think I can fit in the tiny desks!" Emmy giggled. "And if I get stuck, I'll have to walk around with a desk on my butt all day! Then Daddy will have to come up to the school with his toolbox and saw the desk off Mommy's heinie!"

"And if Mommy gets splinters in her uh…heinie…Daddy will never hear the end of it," Luke added. "Let's go inside. Was that your brother I saw running around the yard just now?"

"Oops," Emmy said sheepishly. "He ran outside when I did. I guess he wanted to see you too."

Lorelai set Emmy down and she and Luke turned to see Rory capture her little brother and gently take his hand. They were now walking towards them, Matthew flapping the fingers of his free hand in front of his face as he stared off into space.

"Matty, come and say hi to Mommy and Daddy," Rory prompted. The boy ignored her and stood there rocking back and forth.

Lorelai squatted down to Matthew's eye level and ran a finger along his little cheek, which was flushed from running around. He turned away at her touch.

"Hey Matty," Lorelai cooed softly. "Were you a good boy? Mommy and Daddy really missed you."

She placed a tiny kiss on his cheek. He didn't flinch this time, but didn't look at her either. He just stood there, rocking and flapping, his gaze fixed in a world of his own. Lorelai looked into her son's eyes. There was no storm brewing this time, no agitation, just a sort of serene acceptance of what is. Matthew was there, yet wasn't, and at the moment, he didn't seem to mind. He was content in his head.

Lorelai stood up, took Matthew's free hand, and walked toward the house with him. Luke and Emmy followed behind. The aroma of Sookie's cooking filled the house, making Lorelai's mouth water instantly. It had been a long drive and she was starving. She chatted with Sookie and Rory, while Luke brought the bags in from the Jeep.

"So how was it really," Lorelai inquired. "Matthew didn't give you any problems?"

"Lorelai, it was fine," Sookie said, patting her friend's hand. "Other than Kirk coming over and wreaking havoc, it was manageable."

"Yeah, Mom, I took Matty for a car ride, while Sookie dealt with Kirk, and he calmed down pretty quickly," Rory said, reassuringly. "We actually did a trade off during the weekend. When Matty was calm, Sookie kept an eye on him. When he had a meltdown, I'd take him for a car ride and he'd calm right down."

"It was definitely easier with Rory here though," Sookie acknowledged. "I don't know how you do it alone during the day Lorelai! He really is a handful."

"Yeah, he is," Lorelai muttered, watching Matthew walking in circles around the room, flapping his fingers in front of his face. "And how was my little angel here," Lorelai asked, hugging Emmy to her.

"She was spoiled rotten," Rory said smiling. "Grandma and Grandpa came and took her out after you left on Friday. She spent the whole day with them."

"We went to the zoo," Emmy said excitedly. "And Grandma ate a hotdog with me!"

"No way," Lorelai cried out. "They wouldn't let me get hotdogs at the zoo when I was little! I thought Grandma hates hotdogs."

"She got mad though when Grandpa ate three of 'em," Emmy giggled. "And we had ice cream."

"You so got spoiled," Lorelai said, pouting. "Did you like the zoo?"

"Oh yes, Mommy! It was fun," Emmy said, nodding enthusiastically. "Can we go again?"

"Daddy? Would you mind watching Matthew one day, so Emmy and I can have a Mommy/daughter day at the zoo," Lorelai asked Luke, as he sat down on the couch next to her.

"I think that can be arranged," Luke said, rumpling Emmy's hair.

"Really? Just me and Mommy?" Emmy's eyes were as big as saucers.

"That's right, Sweetpea, just you and me," Lorelai said. "No boys allowed."

"What about big sisters," Rory inquired.

"Maybe next time," Lorelai replied. "I think Emmy needs some special alone time with Mommy. You've had me for much longer."

"What? I have to share," Rory cried, with mock indignation. "Not fair. You so like her better."

"Ah, but I liked you first," Lorelai said, giving Rory a kiss on the cheek.

"Ooh! Dinner is ready," Sookie exclaimed, flying into the kitchen at the sound of the timer. "Come and get it!"

Life got back to normal, as normal as could be, in the Danes house. Lorelai and Luke searched for a school for Matthew and settled on one in Hartford. He would be bused and have his own attendant assigned to him to help him. They were both apprehensive about sending their little boy off to a full day program, but they really wanted to give Matthew a chance while he was still so young. Emmy would attend preschool in Stars Hollow in the fall.

When the first day of the year round program Matthew was attending came, Lorelai dressed him in overalls, since they would be harder for him to strip out of, and a button down shirt. She pulled a pick through his wild curls that now reached below his collar. He hadn't had a haircut since he was two. He would scream whenever anyone came near him with scissors. Now he was looking more like his sister, and Lorelai made the decision to just hold him in her lap and restrain him, as he got his hair cut. Yes, there would be the inevitable meltdown, but she was tired of people telling her what cute daughters she had!

The little yellow school bus pulled up in front of the house and the attendant came out.

"Hi, you must be Mrs. Danes," she said, shaking Lorelai's hand. "My name is Tanya and I'll be Matthew's attendant. Hi Matthew," she said squatting to his level. "Are you ready to go to school?"

"He doesn't talk," Lorelai stated, handing Matthew's backpack to the woman. "I put an extra change of clothes in there, as well as diapers. He's not toilet trained and he has no interest in learning."

"Most young children with severe autism take longer to learn basic skills," Tanya replied. "We will be working on toileting as one of Matthew's functional skills."

"His blanket is also in his backpack," Lorelai added. "When he gets agitated, he likes to hold his blanket. It soothes him and he can't sleep without it, so please make sure it comes home each day."

"Don't worry, Mrs. Danes," Tanya said soothingly.

"It's Lorelai. Please call me Lorelai," Lorelai answered.

"Don't worry, Lorelai, Matthew will be fine," Tanya said. "It will be an adjustment at first. Children with autism don't like change, but he will get used to the highly structured routine. Come on Matthew. Say goodbye to Mommy. You'll see her later."

Tanya slung the backpack over her shoulder and took Matthew's hand. Lorelai gave him a hug, feeling him tense in her arms, and kissed his cheek.

"Be good, Matty, and make Mommy proud," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "We'll see you later, baby. Mommy loves you. Daddy loves you. Rory loves you and Emmy loves you." She fought back the tears, as she turned to Tanya. "Take good care of my baby boy. He's gonna be President some day."

Tanya smiled and walked Matthew toward the bus. He stopped at the steps, refusing to climb them. Tanya lifted him under his arms and climbed the steps with him. Lorelai watched as Tanya wrestled the now crying boy into a booster seat and strapped him in.

"Oh Matty, Mommy loves you so much," Lorelai said softly, as her tears fell.

Tanya took a seat next to Matthew and the bus pulled away. She could hear Matthew's screams and see him flailing in the booster seat, desperately trying to unbuckle himself. That was all it took for the dam to burst wide open. Lorelai ran back to the safety of her house, glad that Luke had taken Emmy with him to the diner for breakfast this morning. The last thing she wanted was for her little girl to see her as she was now, curled up in a fetal position on the foyer floor, crying her eyes out.

After a while, she composed herself. She got up and went to the bathroom to wash her face and reapply her makeup. Once she was assured that she looked somewhat normal again, puffy red eyes not withstanding, she grabbed her purse and headed to the SUV. Today she would finally have a chance to spend some quality time with her little girl. Besides, if she didn't get out and do something fun, she'd spend the day crying over Matthew. She promised Emmy that they would go to the zoo, since the child was not happy that her brother got to go to school today and she didn't.

The bells above the door rang out as Lorelai entered the diner. Emmy was sitting up at the counter eating pancakes and watching her father work. Lorelai took the stool next to her and dropped her purse on the counter. Luke turned from the kitchen and spotted the sad look on Lorelai's face. He immediately placed a mug down in front of her and filled it with coffee. Lorelai sighed, as she stirred some milk and sugar in the mug.

"Rough morning," Luke inquired. "He'll be fine, you'll see."

Lorelai sighed again and blinked back some tears, hoping Emmy wouldn't see them.

"I hope so," she replied shakily. She gave him a tremulous smile, as she sipped her coffee. "I'll have pancakes too with a side of bacon and scrambled eggs with cheese."

"Hungry much," Luke inquired, handing the order to Caesar in the back.

"Well, I've gotta keep my strength up, so I can chase my girl around the zoo," Lorelai said, brightening up. "We're gonna make faces at the monkeys. Right Emmy?"

"Can we go to the petting zoo too," Emmy asked. "I wanna feed the baby lambs. They drink bottles! I don't like the baby goats though. One goat butted me in the belly and I fell down! Grandpa laughed so hard!"

"Well I'll make sure to keep those mean goats away from my baby," Lorelai said. "I want to hold some baby chicks. Hey Emmy, did I ever tell you about the time Rory brought home a baby chick for her homework and Mommy had to baby-sit it? I named her Stella and she got out of her cage. It took Daddy and me all night to find her! All I could hear was peep, peep, peep, and then she'd run away before I could catch her!"

"Can I have a baby chick," Emmy asked, bouncing in her seat.

"No," Luke snapped, placing Lorelai's breakfast down in front of her. "Your Mommy isn't good with pets. Ask her about Skippy the hamster sometime."

"Oh come on! Is anyone in this town EVER gonna let me live that down," Lorelai inquired loudly.

"No," cried Patty, Babette, Morey, Kirk, Taylor and a half a dozen other citizens of Stars Hollow.

"I rest my case," Luke said, refilling Lorelai's mug.

"You see Emmy, this is why we're having mommy/daughter day," Lorelai said, leaning toward her daughter. "Daddy just doesn't get it, so we'll go play with the baby animals."

"So Lorelai, Matthew started school today huh," Patty called out from across the room.

"Isn't he a little young for school," Babette inquired? "Luke, can we get some refills over here?"

"Hold your horses," Luke snapped, heading for the table with the coffee pot. "Matthew's going to a special school and they take young kids."

"I know you're gonna miss him," Patty sighed. "He's such a doll. Those long curls…"

"Are getting cut off," Lorelai finished. "He looks like a girl now. He gets enough hassles without the Sampson locks."

"But he looks so precious," Patty exclaimed. "I'm gonna miss seeing him around here."

"At least it'll be quieter," Babette announced. "No offense, doll, but that boy has a set of lungs on him that could wake the dead! I love him to death, but I won't miss the screamin', that's for sure."

"Do you think this school will be able to help him," Patty asked, grabbing a piece of Babette's bacon off her plate.

Babette slapped her hand. "Get yer own Patty! Yeah, I hope this school can help Matthew. It'll be good for you guys to get a break from him too."

"Well, he just started today so we have to give him time to adjust," Lorelai said. "This is a lot of changes happening all at once, and Matty doesn't handle change too well. We'll see how it goes. I'd love to chat more ladies, but I've got a date with my girl here."

"Me and Mommy are having a mommy/daughter day," Emmy piped in enthusiastically.

"Good for you Sweetpea," Babette exclaimed. "Just be careful of the gorillas: they like to throw poop at people."

"Ew," Emmy said, making a face.

"Don't tell her that," Luke grumbled, clearing the decimated breakfast remains from the counter.

"What! It's true! I saw it on one of those National Geographic programs," Babette stated. "Right Morey? Didn't we see monkeys throwin' poop on TV last week?"

"Yeah," Morey said. "That was so not cool."

"All I'm sayin' is watch out for those monkeys," Babette reiterated to Lorelai.

"We will," Lorelai replied, helping Emmy down from the stool. "You got that kiddo? Watch out for poop flinging monkeys!" Emmy just giggled.

"See ya later, Babe," Lorelai said, leaning over the counter to kiss Luke goodbye.

"Try not to smuggle any critters through the gates with that humongous purse of yours," Luke said with a smirk.

"You're silly, Daddy", Emmy giggled. "Mommy only sticks food in her purse!"

"You know, in case we get hungry, or want to lure some unsuspecting critter to bring home to Daddy," Lorelai said with a huge grin. Luke rolled his eyes.

"Bye Daddy," Emmy said, dragging Lorelai toward the door by the hand. "Let's go Mommy!"

"Like mother, like daughter," Luke muttered, shaking his head, as he grabbed a cloth and began wiping down the counter.

"Mommy, can I get a friend for Mr. Wiggles," Emmy inquired.

"We'll see," Lorelai replied, as they rushed out the door, jangling the bells above.

Lorelai never realized how much fun her little girl was! When Rory was little, she wasn't in a position to take her to the zoo, since they had to make her paycheck stretch. Rory was such an easy child that she enjoyed outings to the library. Emmy was spontaneous and fun. She was outgoing and inquisitive and Lorelai hadn't laughed so hard in a long time. It felt so good to just have fun with her little girl, but she knew she had other reasons for the outing. She'd been reading everything she could find on autism to prepare herself for the inevitable chat with Emmy. She would have talked to her sooner, but she wanted to be prepared for the numerous questions she knew would come.

She sat on a bench, doubled over laughing, as Emmy chased a group of baby lambs around the corral, with the little pygmie goats shoving her from behind. She held a bottle of milk high above her head, as the baby animals tried to jump up and knock it out of her hand. One frisky goat rammed her from behind, sending her flat on her face. Lorelai was still laughing as she ran over and scooped her little girl up off the ground and dusted her off. Another child grabbed the bottle and started feeding a lamb. Emmy began to cry.

"Mommy, that's MY bottle," she whimpered. "She took my bottle. Now I can't feed the lambs!"

"Oh Sweetpea, it's okay, I'll get you another one," Lorelai said, comforting her daughter. She took a cloth from her purse and wet it in the fountain. She washed the dirt from Emmy's face and hands, placed the cloth in a plastic baggie, and dropped it back in her purse.

"My butt hurts," Emmy said, pouting. "Kiss it Mommy."

Lorelai chuckled, pulling Emmy on her lap, as she sat down. "Sorry, baby, but that's where I draw the line at boo boo kissing. Let's give the baby animals a rest for a bit and have a chat, just you and me."

"Okay Mommy, but can I feed the lambs after," Emmy asked.

"I'll get you all the bottles you want," Lorelai replied, setting Emmy down on the bench next to her. "You know Matty started school today right?"

"Yeah," Emmy said, pouting. "How come he gets to go to school and not me?"

"Well, Matty is going to a special school," Lorelai explained. "Remember when Daddy and I took Matty to that Doctor and you stayed with Aunt Sookie?"

"And we played Peter Pan," Emmy nodded. "But Davey hitted us with his sword and it hurt."

"But Uncle Jackson took it away from him," Lorelai affirmed. "Do you remember when we came to pick you up?"

"You were crying," Emmy said. "I don't like when you cry Mommy. It makes me sad."

"Well, I was sad and that's what you do when you're sad," Lorelai explained, ruffling Emmy's curls. "I was crying because the doctor just told Daddy and me that Matty has autism."

"What's austism," Emmy asked, wrinkling her nose.

"Autism is what they call those silly things that Matty does," Lorelai said. "You know how he rocks and flaps his fingers in front of his face, and how he likes to play with the vacuum hose but doesn't play with toys? Or how he hates loud noises and likes to watch Scooby Doo over and over? Matty is different than other kids."

"Do I have autism too," Emmy inquired with wide eyes.

"No honey, you don't, just Matty," Lorelai said, giving her girl a kiss on her forehead.

"Is autism why Matty doesn't talk anymore and why he goes potty in his pants and has to wear a diaper," Emmy asked.

"Yes," Lorelai explained. "You see Matty doesn't know how to do the things you do cause it's hard for him. He doesn't play or hug or talk to us because he doesn't know how to anymore."

"I can show him," Emmy said enthusiastically. "I can do lots of stuff Mommy!"

"I know you can, Sweetpea, cause you're so smart," Lorelai confirmed. "See, Matty has a hard time learning things. That's why he has to go to a special school."

Lorelai sighed, trying to think of a way to explain autism to her little girl in a way she would understand.

"You see that baby chick over there, Emmy," Lorelai said, pointing to a stray chick that had managed to escape the chicken pen, and was now running frantically around the larger pen with the lambs, goats, piglets, and other assorted farm animal babies.

"Ooh! Can I pet her," Emmy asked, getting ready to bolt towards the little chick. Lorelai grabbed her around the waist and sat her down again.

"Not yet. You see how that baby chick is running around and none of the other animals even notice her? They don't understand baby chick talk," Lorelai said. "They don't know what she wants. It's like the little chick is all alone, away from her chicken friends who understand her peeping. Well, Matty is like that baby chick. We are the other animals and we don't understand him cause he seems strange to us. Can you understand what I'm saying, Sweetpea?"

Emmy shook her head. "I think Matty is like Stitch. Stitch is from another planet and he wrecked stuff like Matty does. Everyone thought Stitch was mean, but he wasn't. Then Lilo taked him home and teached him how to talk and behave and Stitch was good. Stitch jus' wanted a family to love him. Maybe Matty jus' wants to be loved too. Maybe he does all those things cause he gets mad cause he can't talk to us. Maybe the world where Matty is from is in his head, so when he talks to us we can't hear him. He rocks and flaps and looks at stuff that only he can see. I wish I could see his world. I miss him. He went away to the autism place and I want him to come back."

Lorelai was stunned into silence. She had no idea what to say to her little girl. Emmy seemed to have a greater grasp than she ever imagined. Comparing Matthew to the Disney character astounded her. Emmy was right: Matthew was in a world of his own and didn't know how to relate to people. Lorelai knew that Emmy and Matthew shared a close bond as babies, but now that bond was gone and Emmy felt lost too. She swallowed the lump in her throat and sighed.

"Autism is like being in another world," she said gently to Emmy. "Matty doesn't know how to talk to us and some things really bother him and hurt his ears, like loud noises. He's sensitive to things."

"Maybe it's really quiet in his world and noises scare him," Emmy said, nodding.

"I think you're right, Sweetpea," Lorelai affirmed. "Maybe we'll just have to figure out how to go into Matty's world and show him how much fun our world is, so he can come back to us. We just have to love him, no matter what."

"Even when he screams and bites and pinches," Emmy asked. "I don't like when he bites me."

"I think that biting, pinching and screaming are the only ways Matty can tell us when things are bothering him."

"Cause he can't talk," Emmy mused. "Babies cry cause they can't talk. Matty is like a baby again. He's not a big boy. Did the autism make Matty a baby again?"

"Sort of," Lorelai said. "He's going to have to learn everything all over again. That's why he's going to the special school, so they can teach him. You don't need a special school because you're so smart. You will go to school and learn different things than Matty."

"Will Matty get better," Emmy asked.

"I hope so," Lorelai replied. "Like you said Emmy, I think we just have to love Matty with our whole heart, and maybe he'll let us into his world so we can understand."

"I think he likes it where he is," Emmy said. "What if he doesn't want to come back?"

"Then we just love him anyway," Lorelai said, giving Emmy a hug. "Matty can't help the way he acts. He can't play games with you because he doesn't know what playing is. He doesn't know how to pretend. He likes things to be the same all the time cause it makes him feel better."

"Maybe he thinks our world is scary, like Stitch did," Emmy said. "Stitch did bad things cause he was scared. I want to help Matty to be good, cause he's my brother, and my bestest friend. When Matty comes home, I'm gonna sit next to him and be very quiet. Maybe I can hear Matty talking with my heart."

Lorelai was so moved by her little girl's expression of love for her twin that she fought to keep her emotions under control. Without really knowing the definition of autism, Emmy seemed to have an understanding far beyond her three and a half years of living. She also had far more compassion than she realized. Emmy was so sensitive. It was as if she felt everything and reacted accordingly. The child was gifted with a big heart. Maybe she would be able to hear her brother in the silence of her own heart after all. She reached out and pulled Emmy into a crushing hug, letting her tears fall.

"You are the greatest kid ever, you know that," she whispered, kissing Emmy's cheek.

"Don't cry Mommy," Emmy said, cupping her mother's face with her tiny hands. "You're a good mommy! Matty just doesn't know how to tell you, like me. Can we go see the monkeys now?"

Lorelai laughed and brushed the tears from her cheeks. "Let's go angel girl."

Later that afternoon, Lorelai and a very tired Emmy arrived home. Emmy had just dozed off in her car seat, clutching her new friend, a big plush stuffed orangutan she named Goober. Lorelai unbuckled her daughter and carried her into the house. She walked past Luke, headed upstairs, and placed Emmy on her bed to finish her nap. Luke followed her and hugged her from behind.

"How'd it go," he whispered, taking note of the new critter in Emmy's arms.

"Our daughter is an angel," Lorelai murmured. "She totally gets it. I'm floored. How did Matthew do on his first day of school?" She went downstairs and sat on the couch.

Luke shook his head. "Not good. They said he screamed all day and wouldn't participate. He came home, screamed some more, and finally passed out on the floor over there."

Lorelai watched her sleeping son, wondering if she could hear him in her heart too.


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry I took so long to post, and this is so short, but I wanted to give you all something for being so patient with me. I've been having a rough time lately and, unless I can figure out how to pay a really high past due electric bill today, I am going to have my electricity disconnected tomorrow!If that happens, it could be quite a while before I post a new chapter. Don't worry I won't forget about this story. I really appreciate all of your wonderful reviews. They really do make my day and inspire me in my writing. Thank you everyone! Please keep those awesome reviews coming! This chapter takes us back to the present, which we last saw in the beginning of chapter 8, so please reread that if you need a refresher. Lorelai is recovering from Matthew's most recent tantrum. This story will stay in the present from now on. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the characters I create. All others belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino. Except Scooby Doo of course! This story is for entertainment only. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 16: Transitions**

The bathroom floor is a cold unforgiving place to recover from a meltdown, but that's where Lorelai found herself sitting, leaning against the tub, her head in her hands, as her shoulders shook from the sobs she tried so hard to control. She wiped at her tear-stained face with the back of her hands and then placed them on her lap. She looked down at the fresh bruises and bandaged scratches on her arms, the painful reminders of Matthew's latest tantrum. Her hands trembled, as she rubbed her palms on her jeans in an effort to calm her rattled nerves. She could hear the faint sounds of the Scooby Doo tape playing downstairs for what seemed like the millionth time. She could also hear the pitiful sobbing of her little girl who, yet again, had to concede to her brother's wants over her own.

She thought things would get better once Matthew was in school, but he seemed to be getting worse. He had a hard time adjusting to all the new people and new routines. He became more agitated and his tantruming increased. Day after day, she watched her little boy scream and fight against the restraints that held him firmly in his seat on the bus, and day after day, she fought back her own tears, as she smiled and waved goodbye to him. Now, months later, Matthew had become resigned to the consistency of the bus routine, but he became more withdrawn.

Lorelai and Luke attended support groups and had monthly team meetings with the staff and therapists working with Matthew. At first they heard reassuring words like 'give him time', 'he's still adjusting', 'children with autism are very resistant to change', 'once he gets used to the structure and consistency, his behaviors will decrease'. The psychiatrist on staff even suggested that Matthew be put on medication to decrease his incidents of aggression and self-injury! Lorelai had to restrain Luke from punching the man in the face! Matthew was still practically a baby! Who in their right mind would put a barely four-year old child on psychotropic meds?

Lorelai even took the morning off one day and went to Matthew's school to observe him. She sat in a small room and watched Matthew's class through a two-way mirror. Matthew's therapist, Susan Hastings, answered Lorelai's questions as they watched Matthew. The class size was small, six children with one teacher and two classroom aids, yet Matthew still seemed to be lost. The other children had varying degrees of severity in their developmental delays. Matthew was the lowest functioning child in the class. His aide Tanya worked with him one on one, yet Matthew still struggled.

Matthew sat on his chair, rocking back and forth, as Tanya sat beside him using the pieces of a puzzle to try to get Matthew to make eye contact with her. She held a piece at eye level, saying the name of the object while trying to get Matthew to focus on her. She repeated this over and over. Matthew grabbed the little wooden puzzle piece and put it in his mouth and each time Tanya removed it, starting the process over. One thing was blatantly obvious, Lorelai noticed: every time one of the other children acted out or disrupted the class, Matthew would become increasingly agitated.

Lorelai shook her head. She knew the build up all too well. It began with an increase in rocking and flapping objects. Then Matthew bolted from his chair and began pacing the room in circles, while tugging on his ears. Tanya redirected him back to his seat. He jumped up again when another boy in his class began to scream and bite his hand in frustration. Tanya chased Matthew around the room and escorted him back to his seat. Matthew threw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming, and was removed from the classroom to a quiet area for a time out.

"Why is she restraining him," Lorelai inquired, remembering all the times she herself had to physically hold her son to prevent him from injuring himself or others. "I thought there were no restraints here."

"We only use physical restraint as a last resort, when a child is a danger to himself or others," Susan replied calmly. "Most of the time we separate the child in order to allow him to calm down. Our goal is to teach Matthew how to deal with his frustrations and learn to calm himself."

"He gets upset when things are chaotic," Lorelai said. "He hates loud noises. He also doesn't like to be forced to do things. That's when we have the most trouble with him."

"Matthew's program is highly structured, Mrs. Danes," Susan said. "Children with autism need structure and consistency. Although his teacher works with all the children in creating and implementing their programs according to each child's individualized education plan, Matthew, as part of his needs, has his own aide. Tanya works exclusively with Matthew."

"I get that, I do," Lorelai acknowledged. "It just bothers me that Matthew doesn't seem to get it as well. I mean… there are times when he is just the sweetest little boy. He's quiet and seems so content to be where he is in his own little world. Other times, he just fights the world around him, like it's all too much for him and we're invading his sanctuary."

"Right now, all Matthew has to tell us what he needs are his behaviors," Susan explained. "He doesn't communicate with words…"

"He used to," Lorelai interjected with a sigh. "He used to talk up until he was two and then he stopped."

"And so now he uses his behaviors to communicate his needs," Susan continued. "We want to teach Matthew that there are other ways to communicate besides tantrums and self injury. Once he learns that he can make his needs known through other means, such as a picture exchange communication system, or PECS as it's called, Matthew will decrease the frequency of outbursts and self-injurious behaviors. Then we can work on social skills and basic daily living skills. I know this seems harsh, but Matthew will eventually learn to communicate and hopefully interact with others. Yes, he is having a tantrum, but once he is calm, he will return to class as if nothing had happened."

Lorelai wasn't so sure of that. Something just didn't click. Matthew wasn't a dog that you could teach to sit, roll over, or play dead: he was her son, and she wanted so much more for him. Now she understood why Matthew would come home from school very irritable and needing his space. He was stressed and wanted his familiar surroundings. He was not enjoying school at all, and the experience only made him withdraw further into himself or lash out in frustration. She left the school that day feeling very dismayed. There had to be more they could do to help Matthew.

Emmy, on the other hand, was doing very well in preschool. She was nervous about going that first day, but having Mr. Wiggles and Goober in her backpack made it far less traumatic. At least on her end! Her mother had a much worse case of separation anxiety! Lorelai didn't want to leave her baby. Going to school meant that Emmy was growing up, and she wasn't ready for that transition. Spending so much time and energy on Matthew made Lorelai feel like she'd been cheating her daughter of precious life experiences. She felt guilty for not having the time she wanted to spend with Emmy. Now that her little girl was in preschool, Lorelai really missed her.

Lorelai sat on the floor in the bathroom trying to figure out what went wrong. What was missing in the big picture? Matthew was in full day school and she and Luke were trying to be consistent at home, giving Matthew structure, yet he continued to be irritable and overwhelmed. What were they doing wrong? Why was Matthew so resistant to everything they tried?

Maybe he just wasn't happy. Maybe her little boy would rather be in his own head than with his family. Maybe he really didn't understand what others expected of him. The only time he seemed to be calm and serene was when he was left alone. It was as if he couldn't care less about anyone else. He was the center of his universe, and that was just fine with him.

Lorelai could feel the tears stinging behind her closed eyes, as she wondered if Matthew even knew his family existed. In her mind's eye, she could see Matthew toddling around the living room, chortling happily, his huge grin lighting up his face. She could almost feel him flinging himself in her arms and planting a jelly covered kiss on her cheek, as he hugged her with his sticky hands. He repeated new words like a parrot and loved to sit on the floor with Emmy and chatter away. He was so full of life and love. Where was he now? How could such a sweet loving toddler become a complete enigma to everyone? How could such a wonderful life become so overwhelming that he had to attack the ones who loved him most? What broke her heart was that her little boy was so distressed at times that he would injure himself.

A soft rap at the door broke her from her reverie. She sniffled and wiped the fresh tears from her cheeks. "Come in," she called out.

"Mommy?" Emmy poked her head in the door. "Daddy said that I can watch The Little Mermaid on your TV. Can I?"

"Sure Sweetpea," Lorelai replied, getting up off the floor. She tucked some strands of hair behind her ears and looked into her daughter's puffy red eyes. "How's Matty doing?"

"He's watching Scooby Do with Daddy," Emmy said, pressing her cheek into her mother's belly, as she hugged her.

"How's your arm Baby," Lorelai inquired, taking Emmy's small arm in her hand and giving it a look over. There was a small circle of red teeth marks, but no broken skin. She bent down and kissed Emmy's arm.

"It's better," Emmy said. "Matty didn't mean to bite me. I don't like it when he does though."

"Yeah," Lorelai sighed. "Me either."

Emmy saw the bandages on her mother's arms and pouted. "Can I kiss your boo boos Mommy?"

"I'd like that," Lorelai said softly. She smiled, as Emmy gently kissed each little bandage and bruise.

"Mommy, are you mad at Daddy," Emmy asked, as Lorelai popped the tape into the VCR. "Daddy said you were mad at him, so he's staying downstairs."

Lorelai sighed, as she climbed up on the bed next to Emmy. "I'm not mad at Daddy. I mean I was at first, but not now."

"It makes Daddy sad when you get mad at him," Emmy said, as Lorelai started the movie. "Daddy doesn't mean to yell at Matty. I think he just gets sad cause Matty is not like other kids."

"How do you know that Daddy gets sad," Lorelai asked Emmy, as she pulled her close to snuggle.

"Cause when you went upstairs crying, and Daddy put Scooby Doo back on, he hugged me cause I was crying and he was crying too," Emmy said. "He pretended he wasn't though, but I saw him."

"Oh," Lorelai said quietly. Emmy became engrossed in the movie, and Lorelai stroked her little girl's soft curls, watching, as Emmy grew sleepy and yawned. When Emmy fell asleep, Lorelai gently scooted off the bed and left the room.

She padded downstairs to find Luke sprawled out on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. Matthew sat directly in front of the TV, watching it with rapt attention. Her little boy's face was serene, as he slowly rocked to his own internal rhythm. She walked over to the couch and patted Luke's legs. When he shifted over, she sat down next to him with a sigh. He didn't make a move to cuddle with her, keeping his distance, never taking his eyes off the TV screen.

"You totally have a thing for Daphne," Lorelai blurted out, in an effort to break the icy air between them.

"I do not," Luke retorted, with a snort.

"So Velma is your secret crush," Lorelai inquired, with a surprised gasp.

"I do not have a secret crush on Velma," Luke grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. "And Freddy is a dork. Who the hell wears an ascot anymore? And don't get me started on Shaggy! He makes Kirk seem intelligent by comparison."

"Hey! I like Shaggy," Lorelai exclaimed. "He's the only person who could actually eat me under the table!"

Luke arched an eyebrow and smirked. Lorelai realized what she'd just said and gasped. "Dirty!" She giggled, as Luke moved in closer, draping his arm around her shoulder.

"You do know Shaggy is a cartoon character, right," Luke queried, his smile spreading across his face.

"I rest my case," Lorelai stated. "No one can outdo the Gilmore appetite." She sat quietly for a moment just staring at the TV. "So…are we okay?"

"We're good," Luke said, nodding. He pulled her against him and rubbed her arm lightly, being careful of her fresh wounds. "I'm sorry for going off on Matthew again," he muttered with a sigh. "You know I'm trying, right? I'm really trying to keep my temper in check. It's just hard sometimes."

"I know," Lorelai affirmed. "I wish I knew how to reach him. God Luke, when he bangs his head on the floor like that, it just makes me crazy! I hate to see him hurting himself."

"Yeah, well I hate to see him hurting you and Emmy," Luke retorted with a frustrated puff. "This isn't working, this school isn't helping him. He's getting worse, not better."

"Then we just have to keep searching until we find something that does work," Lorelai replied, leaning against Luke's shoulder. She looked down at Luke's arm and noticed a fresh scratch. "I see he got you too."

"He crapped while you were upstairs, and I was trying to change his diaper," Luke stated, with a smirk. "That's nothing. He also kicked me right in the nads, as I was putting a clean one on him."

"Kid's gonna bend it like Beckham one day," Lorelai observed. "Do you need me to kiss the boo boo?" She broke into another grin, as her hand rubbed along the inner seam of his jeans, precariously close to his injured manhood.

"Uh…maybe later," Luke responded, "when the kids are asleep."

"Looking forward to it," Lorelai whispered, kissing him on his scruffy cheek. "I'm sorry too Luke. I shouldn't have gone off on you either. I know you're trying. Matthew is a tough kid for anybody to handle. Like I said…when he goes off like that, it makes me crazy. Poor Emmy has to deal with it as well. She was so upset, but she just takes things in stride. She knows Matty didn't mean to hurt her. She was actually more concerned about you being so sad."

"She said that," Luke inquired with raised eyebrows. Emmy was very perceptive. He would have to keep his emotions in check from now on. He didn't want his little girl to worry about him as well.

"Yeah, when she came upstairs with her video for us to watch," Lorelai nodded, absently playing with the buttons on Luke's flannel. "She said you were crying while you were comforting her earlier."

"Yeah, well…," Luke trailed off, embarrassed to have been caught in a weak moment by their little girl.

"It's okay, you know," Lorelai murmured, pressing little kisses to his neck. "You don't have to be Mr. Manly Man all the time, you know. I love that somewhere inside that gruff exterior of yours is a sensitive guy. Besides…I don't want to do all the crying around here! It's giving me a complex!"

"So you're not mad at me anymore for being an ass earlier," Luke inquired, changing the subject.

"I've put up with you this long, I guess I'll keep you around for a while," Lorelai said smiling. "At least till George Clooney decides to answer all my fan letters. Sorry babe, but Clooney is going to one day discover me and rock my world."

"Right," Luke smirked. "And I'm going to be a contestant on America's Next Top Model."

Lorelai giggled. "You've been hanging around me far too long."

"Shut up and watch the cartoon," Luke said laughing. He kissed her tenderly and turned to watch, as Matthew stood up and ran in circles, flapping his hands excitedly.


	17. Chapter 17

**I told you I'd find a way to write and post! Here is what you've been waiting for...hope comes to the Danes family! Maria is back and she brings not only hope, but healing. When we pay attention to those serendipitous moments, a seemingly chance encounter can be the answer to our prayers. Everything happens for a reason, as Luke and Lorelai will find out. When we ask with an open heart, we will receive. Please review and let me know how you like this. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You all rock!**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. Gilmore Girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino. The Son-Rise Program and Option Process are created by Barry Neil Kaufman and Samahria Lyte Kaufman, founders of The Option Intitute and the Autism Treatment Center of America, and are used with permission. This story is a work of fiction, based on real principles, and is intended for entertainment purposes only. **

**Chapter 17: Serendipity**

"Hey Luke," Lorelai mused, as she sat in the kitchen drinking her morning coffee, while the twins ate breakfast. "What do say we take the kids to the park today?"

"Lorelai, it's cold and there's like a foot of snow on the ground," Luke replied, setting a plate of French toast in front of Lorelai.

"I want to go to the park Daddy," Emmy chimed in. "I like to play in the snow."

"I rest my case," Lorelai said, smiling through stuffed cheeks.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Luke scolded. "You're setting a bad example for the kids."

Lorelai swallowed and took another sip of her coffee. "Come on Grumpy Mc Grumperson," she teased, as Emmy giggled. "It's a beautiful day, and not too cold, plus we both took off from work so we could spend more time with the kids. Remember?"

"Yeah, I do," Luke remarked, sitting down to eat his own plate of scrambled eggs with a side of fruit salad he'd prepared. He placed a few pieces of melon on Matthew's plate and watched, as his son popped a piece in his mouth with his fingers.

"Besides, Matthew really likes the snow," Lorelai said, stabbing a forkful of French toast and swirling it in the puddle of syrup that was taking over her plate.

"Can we go to the big park near Grandma and Grandpa's house," Emmy asked, wrinkling her nose at the fruit her father placed on her plate. "Do I have to eat it, Daddy? I don't like it. It's yucky."

"Yes, we can go to the big park and yes, you have to eat it," Luke replied, taking a sip from his orange juice. "It's good for you. Just because Mommy doesn't like fruit doesn't mean you have to as well. And it's not yucky. It's very sweet, like candy."

At the mention of the word 'candy', Emmy popped a piece of melon in her mouth and began to chew, the juice dripping down her chin.

"Nope, still yucky," Emmy said, with a frown, as she swallowed the piece and stuck out her tongue. Lorelai burst out laughing.

"She's your daughter," Luke stated, pointing across the table at Lorelai with his fork.

"Yes, she is," Lorelai said, a huge grin plastered on her face. "At least we know one of them takes after you," she said, looking over at Matthew, who continued to eat his fruit, rocking side to side, a far away look on his face.

Luke turned to look at Matthew and smiled. He ruffled the boy's curly hair and placed a kiss to the top of his head. Matthew flinched and pulled away from the contact. He flapped a spoon in his left hand, while continuing to eat with the fingers of his right hand. Luke picked up Matthew's cup of milk and moved it back and forth in front of Matthew's eyes. The boy followed the cup in his line of sight and grabbed it, taking a sip and putting it down.

"I think he'll be okay at the park," Lorelai stated, watching Matthew rock and hum softly as he ate. "It shouldn't be too crowded this time of year, and he really does like the snow. Not to mention that you could push him on the swings for hours! He loves it."

"We'll head out after lunch, when it's warmer," Luke nodded, sliding a few more pieces of melon from his plate onto Matthew's.

"Sounds like a plan Stan," Lorelai replied, getting up to refill her coffee cup.

Later that day, Luke and Lorelai bundled the twins up in their warm snow suits, affixed knit hats on their heads, handmade by Lorelai herself, and wrapped their matching scarves around their necks. Emmy sat on the floor pulling her boots on, as Lorelai searched the closet for her missing gloves. Luke rolled his eyes, as he tried to get Matthew's kicking feet into his boots. Once everyone was fully attired, Luke and Lorelai ushered the twins out to the SUV and strapped them into their booster seats.

They drove into Hartford and headed for the community park. It was the same park that the nannies used to take Lorelai to as a child when her parents were too busy. Now Emily and Richard would take Emmy and Matthew there when they visited them. Times sure had changed. There were plenty of kids in the park, although not as many as there would be during the warmer weather. The freshly fallen snow looked pristine and ready to be gathered up to make snowmen and trodden down to make snow angels.

Lorelai and Emmy rolled giant snowballs to create their perfect snowman. They laughed, as they lifted each piece, and placed it on top of the previous one. A bit of well placed packing and smoothing and they had their creation in top form. It was quite large and once the other children saw the enormity of each snowball, they came to help build Frosty. Emmy loved the attention and laughed, her little cheeks flushed from excitement and the cold.

All the effort it took to create Frosty the snowman wore Lorelai out. She panted, as she trudged through the snow, and flopped down on a nearby bench to rest. Emmy was having a ball playing with the team of snowman builders. Lorelai looked around and spotted Luke pushing Matthew on a swing. The boy held on and smiled to no one in particular, as he flew back and forth. Luke seemed to be enjoying his son's glee, as he pushed him, being careful not to push too hard lest the boy go flying face first into a nearby snowdrift! He had to remind Matthew to hold on and not let go.

Lorelai was so caught up in watching her family that she didn't even notice the presence strolling up to her.

"Lorelai? It is you," a cheerful voice greeted.

Lorelai turned to see an old friend standing next to her. It was Rory's former Physical Therapist, Maria Truesdale. Maria had been instrumental in helping the family get through Rory's car accident. Her kind and loving nature helped them to heal old wounds and find hope for the future. It was Maria who ultimately brought Lorelai and Emily together, helping them heal the pain and resentments from their past. It was Maria who helped Lorelai find the strength to support Rory in her journey toward recovery. Lorelai recognized her immediately and jumped up, throwing her arms around Maria's neck in a warm embrace.

"Maria! Oh my God, I thought you fell off the face of the earth," Lorelai exclaimed, pulling away. "Where have you been? I've tried calling you so many times over the past three years! Your phone was disconnected. I went to your house and you'd moved! I thought you were trying to get rid of me!"

"I'm sorry," Maria replied contritely. "I've kind of been on a sabbatical from everything. You see, three years ago my son died."

"I didn't know you had a son," Lorelai remarked with surprise.

Maria nodded, a sad smile briefly playing on her features, before being replaced with one of genuine warmth.

"Janie's younger brother, Michael," Maria confirmed. "When David and I divorced, after Janie's accident, Michael blamed me too. He decided to go live with his father. Things were never the same between us again."

"How did he die," Lorelai asked, wincing at the thought that her friend might not want to talk about it.

"Suicide," Maria answered, her eyes clouding over with pain. She sighed and composed herself. "Apparently, Michael suffered from depression, only no one knew. He kept things hidden so well from us all."

"I'm so sorry," Lorelai whispered, her eyes filling with tears, as she embraced her friend once more. "Why didn't you call me?"

Maria shook her head. "I needed to get away. I was lost. I took a sabbatical from work, which ended up with me resigning. I went on a journey of self-exploration. I needed to heal and find my path in life yet again."

"And did you," Lorelai inquired, her brow furrowed with concern.

"I did," Maria said, smiling. She looked out on the playground and spotted Luke giving Emmy a ride on his shoulders, as he followed Matthew around. "Is that Matthew and Emmy? They're so big! I never thought I'd see Luke Danes playing in the snow," she said laughing.

"Yeah, he's not perfect, but he tries," Lorelai said, watching her children with their father. "How is Janie?"

"She's great," Maria replied. "She's writing another book. This one is about her relationship with her brother. Oh! And she's engaged to be married!"

"Who's the lucky guy," Lorelai inquired with a giggle, as she watched Matthew fall face first into the snow. Luke put Emmy down and picked him up, brushing the snow from Matthew's face and clothes.

"You remember Janie's attendant, Brian Flanagan," Maria inquired. "Well he's been taking care of Janie for the past four years and I guess they fell in love. He's a great guy and I know he'll always take care of my baby. Now that we're back in touch, I'm sure you'll get an invite to the wedding."

"We'd love to go," Lorelai affirmed. "I really missed you, you know?"

"I really didn't mean to cut you off," Maria said softly. "I just felt so overwhelmed with grief over Michael's death. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not some angelic being on loan from heaven. I'm not perfect and I have my dark moments, just like everyone else."

"But you're okay now, right? You're back from Oz? I hope you found the ruby slippers," Lorelai said, with more than a little bit of hurt that her friend had just up and left for three years.

"Better," Maria replied, sensing Lorelai's hurt. "I found myself. I had this incredibly strong feeling that I needed to go to the park today, this particular park, and now I now why. Lorelai, I'm so sorry that I haven't been much of a friend these past few years, but I'm back, and I promise I'll be here for you."

Maria knew there was a reason for Lorelai's outburst. She could sense that something was bothering her friend. She could see it in her eyes, and the wistful way she watched her husband interacting with their children. They sat quietly for a few minutes, each caught up in their own thoughts. Maria followed Lorelai's gaze and observed Matthew, as her friend did.

The little boy appeared very disconnected. He didn't play with his sister, or any of the other children at the park. At the moment, he was rocking, shifting his weight from his extended front leg to his back leg, all the while flapping his hands up next to his face. He didn't speak or even make eye contact with anyone. Luke stood near his son, at a loss as to what to do with him. He just stood there. Emmy had run over to build a fort with some other children.

"Lorelai, how long has Matthew had autism," Maria asked, out of the blue.

"How did you…um…we started noticing changes when he was two," Lorelai replied, knowing all too well how Maria would know. Maria was very intuitive. "He was finally diagnosed last summer."

"And he's how old now, four," Maria wondered out loud.

"He and Emmy turned four last month," Lorelai replied. "Emmy is already in preschool. She should have started next year, because her birthday is in January, but she's so smart and mature that they felt she could begin now. Actually, there's talk of moving her up to kindergarten. She knows her colors, her numbers, how to count up to a hundred, and she is reading already! I've got another Rory on my hands," Lorelai said, smiling at her daughter, as the little girl waved to her.

"She looks just like you," Maria noted, with a laugh. "She was so precious as a baby."

"She still is," Lorelai said. "She tries so hard to understand her brother, but despite being on the receiving end of Matthew's aggressions at times, she still loves him."

Maria listened as Lorelai explained Matthew's diagnosis and severity of symptoms. She listened intently, as Lorelai recounted their efforts to educate him at a school for special needs children. She placed an arm around Lorelai, as her friend began to cry. Maria could feel Lorelai's desperation and grief over Matthew's autism. Maria smiled while comforting her friend. This was one of those serendipitous moments that happen for a reason. Maria understood how life brought challenges to shake up our world and give us opportunities for growth. She herself had faced those challenges, and now she felt drawn back into the lives of the Danes family again to offer her loving support.

"I know a way to help Matthew," Maria said gently.

Lorelai's head snapped up from her hands. She wiped her eyes and studied Maria's face for signs of a joke. "How?"

"Well, as part of my healing process, I discovered The Option Institute in Sheffield Massachusetts," Maria replied, rubbing Lorelai's forearm. "It's about an hour and a half from here. At The Option Institute, I took classes and learned how to heal my grief and find my mission in life."

"So how can they help Matthew," Lorelai wondered. She watched as Matthew walked over to the swings and stood in front of an empty swing. He didn't utter a word, or even gesture his desire. He just stood there. Luke picked him up and placed him on the swing.

"I actually spent a long time at the Institute, even volunteering, just to absorb the energy from that wonderful place," Maria said, smiling. "While I was there, I also became interested in The Son-Rise Program, which is taught at The Autism Treatment Center of America."

"What's The Son-Rise Program," Lorelai inquired, her curiosity piqued.

"The Son-Rise Program was developed by a couple whose little boy was diagnosed with profound autism and an IQ under thirty," Maria explained. "They wanted a way to reach their child, to love him unconditionally and accept him. They didn't want to judge his behaviors as good or bad. They knew Raun was doing the best he could and was happy in his own little world. They wanted to join in Raun's world and lovingly encourage him to join ours, on his own terms, in his own time."

"Luke," Lorelai yelled out excitedly across the playground. "Come here! You have to hear this!"

"You come over here," Luke called out. "If I pull him from this swing to talk to you, he'll flip out."

"Maria, can we continue this discussion somewhere warm and preferably inside," Lorelai said, feeling a chill. "My parents live nearby. Maybe they're home and we could drop in on them. They'd love to see you again and then maybe I could get the kids to take a little nap while we talk. They have to be worn out."

"If it's not an imposition, that would be nice," Maria said, giving Lorelai a huge grin.

As Luke gathered the twins, Lorelai called her parents. Emily was thrilled to hear about Maria and assured them that, although Richard was still at work, he would be home shortly. Maria followed them in her car and within minutes they arrived at the Gilmore house. Lorelai rang the bell and Emily herself opened the door. Emmy threw herself at her grandmother.

"Grandma! I made a snowman with Mommy today," Emmy exclaimed with glee, as she hugged her grandmother.

"How wonderful! Look at those apple cheeks! You'd better come inside and get warm," Emily said, ushering the family inside.

"Don't be fooled by her exuberance, Mom, Emmy's really tired," Lorelai said, unbuttoning her coat. "Thanks for having us over on such short notice."

"You sounded so excited on the phone," Emily remarked. "How could I say no?"

"Emily! It's so good to see you again," Maria gushed, as she enveloped Emily in a warm embrace.

"Maria Truesdale, you've been sorely missed by everyone in this family," Emily said. "Lorelai, why don't you and Luke take the children up to the nursery and change them into some dry clothes, while I have the maid prepare us some tea," Emily stated. "Coffee for you, Lorelai?"

"You need to ask? Hello! How long have you known me, Mom," Lorelai chided as she began to climb the stairs with Matthew.

"Long enough to purchase a coffee maker just for you, so you can have an entire pot to yourself," Emily replied, smiling.

"My own pot of coffee? See! My mommy loves me," Lorelai exclaiming, her face beaming.

"You know she's kidding right," Luke muttered, trailing behind Lorelai with Emmy and the diaper bag. Lorelai's face fell instantaneously into a pout.

"Actually, I'm not," Emily called up the stairs, her smile widening.

Lorelai's pout was gone as quick as it appeared, replaced by a look of sheer joy. "Thank you, Mom!"

"You're welcome," Emily shot back.

"I see you and Lorelai are getting along much better," Maria noted, as they walked into the living room.

"Thanks to you," Emily responded, smiling even brighter. "We've had our moments, and continue to, but I can honestly say we've let go of the past. Unfortunately it's our stubborn personalities that clash even now."

Maria laughed. "So basically you still drive each other nuts!"

"And we love every minute of it," Emily added. "Now Maria, tell me what you've been up to these past three years."

While Emily and Maria caught up in the living room, Lorelai and Luke changed the twins. Emmy could barely keep her eyes open and, before Matthew was diapered, she'd fallen asleep on the bed. Luke tucked her under the covers and kissed her forehead. Lorelai finished zipping up Matthew's jumper and she and Luke brought him downstairs so he wouldn't wake his sister. Richard arrived home just in time for tea and an assortment of baked goods laid out on a doily covered silver tray. Lorelai did indeed have her own pot of coffee, which made her very happy.

"Maria was telling me about a program that could help Matthew," Lorelai began, once the pleasantries had been exchanged. "I wanted Luke to hear this too, but I figured that since we were in the area, why not include the whole family so I don't have to try to repeat any of it. Crap! Rory's not here!"

"Lorelai, watch your language," Emily scolded. "I don't want Matthew's first word in two years to be a cuss word. I'm surprised that Emmy doesn't have a potty mouth."

"Um…well…let's just say: she knows what they are and if she ever repeats them again her daddy will take away her books for a month," Lorelai confessed.

"Why don't I give Rory a call and put her on speakerphone so she can participate in this very impromptu conversation," Richard suggested, leaving the room to retrieve the phone.

Richard dialed Rory and she was excited to hear from Maria. She was at the Courant finishing an article she was working on. Now that she'd completed her final draft for submission, she welcomed the interruption in her long day. She listened as Maria told everyone about her experiences at The Option Institute, and how those experiences changed her life. Rory couldn't imagine how hard it would be to lose a child to suicide. Ariel was running around now, at a year and a half, and getting into everything. If she'd lost her baby girl, she'd be more than devastated! Maria always seemed so strong, an indomitable force of loving-kindness. Not even she was immune to life's pain.

"While I was at The Option Institute, I decided that I wanted to work with special needs children," Maria explained. "Barry Neil Kaufman, or 'Bears' as he likes to be called, and his wife Samahria developed a program for their son Raun, who was diagnosed as profoundly autistic with an IQ of below thirty. They didn't agree with the professionals who said their son would never function normally, that he should be institutionalized. Raun was not a tragedy but a joy, their beautiful son. They would love him no matter what. They made a choice to accept Raun and not judge his behaviors as good or bad. They would encourage him to join their world by first joining his."

"This actually sounds familiar, now that I hear it," Lorelai interjected. "I remember seeing a movie on TV about an autistic boy when I was a kid."

"Yes, you probably did," Maria acknowledged. "It was called Son-Rise: A Miracle of Love."

"So what kind of program did these people create," Richard inquired, his interest piqued.

"They created a program based on the principle 'to love is to be happy with'," Maria continued. "They let Raun be the teacher and lead them on the journey toward unconditional love. They didn't judge him. Instead they observed him, discovering the many wonderful facets that was their son. They created a playroom, separate from all distractions, where they spent Raun's every waking hour, giving him one on one attention."

"We give Matthew that now, but he still pulls away," Lorelai noted, sadly.

"Autistic children can sense when we have unresolved emotional issues," Maria said. "They are like emotional barometers. If they don't feel that you are sincere or comfortable around them, they will react accordingly. Matthew can sense that you have internal pain and emotional distress. He may not understand it, but he reacts just the same"

"So how can we help Matthew," Rory chimed in on speakerphone.

"I am a trained Son-Rise Program teacher," Maria stated brightly. "If you want to devote your time and energy on Matthew, I will teach you how to do the Son-Rise Program at home. I'll show you how to interview volunteers who will bring energy, excitement and enthusiasm to his playroom sessions. I will teach you and your volunteers how to join Matthew in the most loving way and how to accept him as he is."

"And this program really works," Luke asked, with more than a little skepticism.

"The Kaufmans have taught countless families from all over the world how to reach their autistic children," Maria said, smiling. "At the Autism Treatment Center Of America, I've worked with children like Matthew and I've seen miracles. I've watched children blossom from non-verbal, at times aggressive, children into loving, bright children who interact with their families. I will teach you how to reach him, how to attain eye contact, how to encourage communication…I will teach you how to celebrate this beautiful little boy, as he decides to explore our world. All you have to do is make a choice."

"Oh my God, yes," Lorelai choked out, her eyes filled with tears of hope.

"We will do anything to help our grandson," Emily whispered, overcome with emotion.

"You can count me in as your first volunteer, Mom," a tearful Rory chimed in.

"I'm all in," Luke said, smiling. "Can I ask what became of Raun?"

"He's now CEO of The Option Institute and Autism Treatment Center of America, and shows no signs of autism whatsoever," Maria announced.

Four mouths dropped open in shock and surprise, followed by a round of joyous hugs.


	18. Chapter 18

**Here is the next chapter. I'm sorry it took so long. Life got in the way. I hope this is worth the wait. I am really trying to make this story as accurate as possible. Please review and let me know how you liked this. Things are heading into a much more positive direction.I will try not to take so long posting the next chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. And to those reviewers who pointed out my punctuation mistakes with the missing question marks in the dialogue, I have corrected the problem. Thank you. I haven't been in school in decades so I may have forgotten a grammar rule or two. Thanks for pointing it out to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review so I can do a happy dance around my Christmas tree! Lol!**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. Gilmore Girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino. The Son-Rise Program and Option Process are created by Barry Neil Kaufman and Samahria Lyte Kaufman, founders of The Option Institute and the Autism Treatment Center of America, and are used with permission. This story is a work of fiction, based on real principles, and is intended for entertainment purposes only.**

**Chapter 18: Plans, observations, and mindful moments**

Never in all her forty-four years of life had Lorelai felt such joy in the house where she grew up. Yes, there had been celebrations in her family home, many in fact, but none could compare to the celebration going on in that moment. It was more than a celebration. Hope had come to the Gilmore and Danes families. Once again, Maria was the answer to their prayers. Amid the hugs and tears of joy, real hope shone in the eyes of everyone in that room.

"Are you saying that this Son-Rise Program can cure Matthew of his autism?" Lorelai inquired, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Any changes Matthew makes are entirely up to him," Maria explained. "The Son-Rise Program isn't a cure for autism. Yes, some children have had remarkable breakthroughs, some even learning to overcome their autism, but that isn't the goal of the program."

"I don't understand," Luke said, shaking his head. "You said that Raun kid was cured of his autism and is completely normal now as an adult."

"Yes, he is," Maria nodded. "Raun made the choice to follow his parents' loving example and far exceeded even his parents expectations. When Bears and Samahria began to work with Raun, their goal wasn't to change him. Their goal was to just accept him without judgments. They let Raun lead the way as the teacher in his own program. You see the key to the Son-Rise Program isn't the program itself but rather the intent."

"See, now I'm confused," Lorelai remarked, gazing at Matthew, who was sitting on the floor rocking and studying his toy car with great concentration. "How can Matthew be his own teacher?"

"Look at Matthew," Maria directed everyone. "Notice how he sits so quietly, completely caught up in the activity that is his main goal in life at this moment. Nothing matters to him except that toy car. He sees nothing else. He hears nothing else. Yet he is completely at peace and one with that inanimate object. Does he appear to be struggling? Does he look angry or unhappy?"

"He reminds me of my husband when he's engrossed in a good book," Emily stated. "He's off in his own little world."

"Well exceptional reading material will do that, Emily," Richard affirmed. "I enjoy reading. It relaxes me."

"Autism was once seen as a tragedy," Maria began. "Professionals would basically tell parents that their child would never be normal and they would eventually need to place their child in an institution. Granted, things have gotten better as we began to understand more about autism, but still, children were viewed negatively. They were placed in special education programs at school and taught to conform. Autistic children often developed behaviors as a result of the stressful conditions."

"Matthew hates school," Lorelai noted. "I've gone down to his school and watched them teach him. He still fights it and they get very impatient with him."

"Does he look distressed to you, right now, at this moment?" Maria asked.

"No," Lorelai said softly. She sighed as she watched Matthew turn his car over and over in his hands, all the while rocking rhythmically.

"That's because Matthew is content where he is," Maria pointed out. "He knows what he likes, what makes him happy. He has lost the ability to communicate his wants and needs and to socialize appropriately. He's learned that by acting out aggressively or in a self abusive way, he can get his needs met."

"So how do we reach him?" Luke asked, looking over at Matthew.

"Hold on a sec, Babe," Lorelai interrupted, leaning over toward the speakerphone. "Hey Rory? Are you there? You've been awfully quiet."

"Yeah, I'm here," came a voice from the doorway. Lorelai let out a startled yell, as Rory closed her cell phone and dropped it in her purse.

"Jeez kid, I thought you passed out or something! I had visions of the janitor finding you slumped over your desk with newspaper print all over your cheek!" Lorelai jumped up and threw her arms around her first born, kissing her on the cheek. "Glad to see that you're ink free."

"Sorry," Rory giggled. "I left work and drove over here so I could catch some of the excitement. I was listening though." She walked over to Maria and squealed, as the woman stood up and pulled her into a huge embrace.

"Rory! It's so great to see you again," Maria gushed, rubbing Rory's back. "You look incredible! I see you've really got the hang of using those prosthetic legs of yours."

"By the end of the day, I'm exhausted and I have to take them off so I can relax," Rory said sitting down next to Maria. "Hi Grandma, Grandpa. Is there any coffee left for me or did Mom drink it all?"

"Your mother has her own pot," Emily replied.

"And I'm not sharing," Lorelai said, holding her cup possessively to her chest.

"Mean! I'd share with you," Rory whined, giving her mother 'the face'.

"Olivia! Please bring my granddaughter a carafe of coffee and some pastry," Emily called out to the maid in the kitchen.

"Right away, Mrs. Gilmore," came the reply.

"I just got off the phone with Logan," Rory stated. "I told him that I'd be late getting home tonight. He's picking up Ariel from daycare and we're going out to eat so I can't stay long. Did I miss anything?"

"Maria was about to explain how this Son-Rise Program is supposed to help Matthew," Luke said.

"There are some steps to prepare for Matthew's program and I'll explain everything as we go along," Maria said smiling. "I've given you so much to take in already. I don't want your heads to explode from information overload!" Her smile spread at the stunned looks on their faces, until it reached her warm brown eyes, and she let out a laugh. "You all look like I just took away all your Christmas presents! Relax. We're going to take this one step at a time."

"So what do we need to do first?" Lorelai inquired, relaxing at Maria's reassurances.

"Well, we'll need a space to function as a playroom for Matthew's program," Maria began. "It will need to be free of outside distractions, simple in design, yet functional. It should contain shelves to hold toys, puzzles and other materials. It should have a table and chairs, some larger play furniture such as balls and any other toys that Matthew is interested in. The floor should not be carpeted, but rather linoleum sheeting over soft padding, so that activities can be done on the floor as Matthew desires."

"Actually, the garage would be perfect!" Lorelai clapped her hands together in excitement. "We don't really use it. It's large, away from the house, and we can make alterations to it if we need to. Luke can do the work himself and I can paint."

"Good, cause there's no way I'm putting my boy in a room that's hot pink with flower appliqués on the walls," Luke snorted, rolling his eyes.

Maria burst out laughing. "Lorelai! I'm shocked! You haven't repainted that garage yet? You told me three years ago that you were going to paint it since it was a reminder of your break up with Luke the first time!"

"Well, it shows you how often I go in the garage," Lorelai replied laughing.

"I'm the only one who goes in there," Luke acknowledged. "The last time Lorelai went into the garage, she piled it full of odds and ends from the kids. Eventually I couldn't see the walls anymore so I gave up the thought of repainting."

"While the playroom is being set up, we'll need to gather volunteers to work the program," Maria commented.

"I think we should put it out during the next town meeting," Rory suggested.

"Please! Taylor is already going to have a fit about converting the garage into another room!" Lorelai shook her head and groaned.

"You leave that idiot to me," Luke said gruffly. "If he even objects to our plans, I'll raise his rent on the Soda Shoppe so high he'll crap that stupid red striped suit of his!"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Really Luke, must you be so vulgar?"

Lorelai giggled as a sleepy Emmy climbed in her lap, rubbing her eyes. "Hey baby girl! Did you take a good nap?" Emmy yawned and nodded, snuggling against her mother.

"Mommy, can I have some coffee and a Danish?" Emmy eyed her mother's freshly filled cup with interest.

"No you can't have coffee," Luke barked. "Lorelai, are you giving her coffee behind my back? What have I told you about…."

"One time! I let her taste my coffee once!" Lorelai reached over and grabbed a danish for Emmy. "I can't help it if she's got the Gilmore caffeine craving!"

"Luke, if you need help procuring any materials for your garage makeover I'm sure I can help," Richard bellowed out in an effort to change the subject.

"And I would like to attend this meeting you're going to have," Emily added. "I want to make sure that you are thorough in interviewing for volunteers. I have experience in that area. I've met some of your fellow townsfolk, Lorelai, and while I'm sure they are nice enough, some of them are certifiable."

Maria laughed. "Now Emily, let's not judge. These are people who obviously care about this family and their intentions are good. If they have qualities of love, energy, and enthusiasm, and a genuine desire to learn the program, then they have the attitude needed to learn to fully accept Matthew. Every volunteer will have his or her own special qualities to bring to Matthew's program. I would love to have you present during this process."

"Very well," Emily conceded, bringing her cup to her lips and taking a sip. "But if that man child Kirk wants to volunteer, he had better take it seriously."

"Mom, Kirk takes every job he does seriously," Lorelai noted.

"All five hundred of them," Luke added, rolling his eyes.

"I actually think this would be one job that Kirk would be great at," Lorelai said smiling.

"So we've got a playroom to set up and volunteers to gather," Maria counted off on her fingers. "The most important part comes before all of this. I want you to take a day and observe Matthew from the moment he wakes until bedtime. I want you to write down everything…what he likes, what he doesn't like, his favorite foods, toys and activities: I want you to notice everything. Take note of his moods and his routine. We will then use this to create his own individual program."

"I…I'm not sure what I'm supposed to write down. What am I looking for? I know Matthew's routine. It's the same every day." Lorelai was puzzled.

"I want you to really observe him," Maria replied. "I want you to be present with him as he goes about his day. Then we'll talk and I'll answer any questions you may have."

Maria could see the looks on everyone's faces as they processed all the information she'd given them.

"I know you're all ready to explode with all that I've shared. Lorelai, do you still have movie nights at your house?"

"Not as much since Rory moved out, but yeah, why?"

"I'd like everyone to view the movie Son-Rise: A Miracle Of Love," Maria explained. "It will go into greater detail about how the Son-Rise Program came to be and then we can discuss it."

"How about we have Friday night dinner at our house this week?" Luke offered. "I'll make a lasagna and we can watch the movie afterward."

"That sounds wonderful, Luke, thank you," Emily responded. "We will be there."

"I'll bring the movie and dessert," Maria said, grinning.

The next morning, Lorelai began to take note of Matthew's daily routine. She kept a notebook with her everywhere she went and followed him, writing down the time he woke, when he had breakfast, what he ate. She wrote everything down in as much detail as she could. Emmy wanted to help her and so Lorelai handed her little girl her own notebook and a pencil. Emmy followed her mother, scrawling nonsensical scribbles across the page just like her mommy did. Amid the scribbles were some well formed letters of the alphabet that Emmy was practicing.

"Look, Mommy! I wrote my name," Emmy exclaimed, showing her mother the page with her name written as neatly as a four-year old could manage.

"You are so smart, Sweetpea," Lorelai responded, kissing her little girl on the cheek. "Maybe we could get you a job as a reporter where Rory works."

Emmy giggled and shook her head. "You're silly Mommy! I have to use a computer first. Rory uses a computer."

"Oh, well in that case you'd better get crackin' with your new Leap Frog that you got for your birthday," Lorelai said, smiling. "You can help Mommy with her report on Matty. See," Lorelai said, showing Emmy her notebook, "I can't write as neat as you and I want this to look pretty. Wanna help me?"

"Okay Mommy, but we have to do it later, cause Matty just ran in the bathroom," Emmy said, pointing down the hall.

"Gah!" Lorelai bolted down the hall and entered the bathroom just as Matthew was climbing into the tub. She stood in the doorway and watched as Matthew sat down in the tub. He didn't turn on the water. He didn't dump out the shampoo bottle. He just sat, staring at the tiles on the wall. He then began to rub his hands along the smooth surface of the top edges of the tub. He rocked back and forth, rubbing his hands along the tub, completely focused on that activity. He seemed content in the moment. He showed no desire to take a bath. He just sat.

_Matthew climbed into the tub and is sitting and rocking. He hasn't tried to remove his clothes or turn on the water. I can't tell if he wants me to give him a bath. He isn't even playing with the tub toys. He's just rocking and rubbing his hands along the surface of the tub. He likes smooth objects. He likes to hold them or rub them. Now he is leaning over and running his tongue along the top of the tub, back and forth, back and forth. I'm so glad I cleaned the bathroom last night!_

Lorelai stood in the doorway for a long time, watching Matthew and writing in the notebook. She felt herself growing very calm, as she observed her son in his solitary moment. He had many moments like this she discovered. When he wasn't being forced to do something, Matthew was actually a very sweet boy. Only when he felt overwhelmed with expectations did he become agitated and lash out. Today was his day. Lorelai let Matthew take charge of his activities and he seemed much more relaxed and serene.

When Luke came home from work, he had his opportunity to observe his son. He read over what Lorelai had written and went about his usual interactions with Matthew. He tried to do as Maria instructed and just observe but he found himself growing frustrated. His mind raced with thoughts about Matthew's strange behaviors and he fought the urge to intervene. Matthew seemed to pick up on his father's inner turmoil.

_6:30pm Matthew played with his dinner. He eats with his fingers. Unlike his sister, he seems to like vegetables. They have to be cooked though. He won't eat raw veggies. He likes noodles and macaroni. He likes most fruit except fruit with seeds. Won't eat strawberries, grapes, kiwi, but likes strawberry jam. He likes to poke at his food, which drives me crazy cause he smears his fingers on everything._

_6:40pm I put a cup of milk in front of him when we started dinner. He hasn't noticed it. I pick it up and wave it in front of his face. He follows the cup but doesn't take it. I put the cup down on the table and it is forgotten._

_7:10pm Matthew is just sitting at the table. I guess he is finished eating because the plate is ignored. Now he stares at his spoon as he holds it up to his face._

_7:30pm still staring at spoon. He likes shiny objects._

_7:42pm finally climbs down from the table and heads for the living room. He still has the spoon. I take it to put in the sink to be washed. He jumps up and down, flapping his hands in the air, and lets out a scream! He smacks himself on the side of his head. I give him back the stupid spoon._

_8:20pm Matthew is sitting on the floor, flapping the spoon in his fingers. He stops now and then to stare at it or lick it. It's time for his bath. Lorelai takes his hand and tells him it's time for his bath. He stands up and walks with her upstairs. She has so much more patience with him._

_8:28pm Lorelai has Matthew in the bathroom. She undresses him. He won't do it himself. His diaper is dry. She sits him on the toilet in an attempt to see if he'll go. He kicks and scratches her and jumps down off the toilet. Lorelai is filling the bathtub. Matthew rocks side to side and then pees on the bath mat! That's it! I'm done!_

_9:40pm Luke is downstairs throwing the bath mat into the laundry. I sent him away cause he went off on Matty about peeing on the rug. Matthew screamed and cried. __I finally got him into the tub and he eventually calmed down. I watched Matthew as he rocked and flapped his hands. When he began to calm down, he rubbed his hand along the side of the tub with that glazed look in his eyes. Maybe he's just tired. I washed him and rinsed him. He didn't play with any toys. He is now in bed. Emmy has been asleep for over an hour now. Matty is sitting up in bed, cuddling his blanket and rocking. Since he started school, it's not unusual for Matthew to have trouble falling asleep. Sometimes he's up till 3am!_

_11:16pm I've tried telling him stories, singing softly to him. He's still awake. Every time I try to leave the room, he cries. I'm afraid he'll wake Emmy so I sit and wait._

_12:36am Matthew is walking around the bedroom in circles, his blanket in his arms. Does he do this every night? Luke and I usually say goodnight and close the door. No wonder he's so cranky in the mornings!_

_2: 45am Matthew is finally asleep on the floor. I gently pick him up and put him in his bed and cover him._

Lorelai padded softly into the bedroom and shut the door. In the dim light coming from the cracked bathroom door, she could see Luke lying on his side, sound asleep. She yawned and stretched, her muscles sore from the day's events. She placed the notebook on her nightstand and headed for the bathroom. She wanted to take a hot bath but was too tired. A quick shower would have to do. She grabbed a clean pair of pajamas and entered the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind her.

She adjusted the water and began to undress, checking out her tired reflection in the mirror. She hoped their record of events would be accurate enough for Maria to work with. She was surprised at how many things about her son went unnoticed. She and Luke had been so focused on Matthew's aggressive behaviors that they didn't notice all the wonderful things about their little boy. Yes, he tantrumed when agitated and would attack whoever was in his vicinity, including himself, but he also had the same sweetness she remembered in him as a toddler.

Lorelai stepped into the steaming shower and let the water cascade down the aching muscles of her back. She sighed and allowed herself to get lost in the moment. She tried to think like her son and just focus on that moment, wondering what captivated him so. As she lathered her hair, she closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of her shampoo, and the feel of the rich lather, as her fingers massaged her scalp. She began to relax into the actions of her cleansing routine. She tried to think of nothing. It was so hard. Instead, she allowed herself to be carried away by the sensations of the hot water on her skin, the silky lather of her body wash, noticing everything. No wonder Matthew was so serene in his own little world! He was free from worry, free from expectations, free to just be. Most of all, he seemed happy without all those pressures placed upon him.

Lorelai finished her shower feeling as relaxed as if she'd soaked in a hot bubble bath. She fought the drowsy state that enveloped every muscle in her body. She pulled a brush through her towel-dried hair and dressed for bed. She hit the light switch as she entered the bedroom, plunging the room into darkness once again. She climbed into bed, snuggling under the warm covers with a yawn. She couldn't wait for Friday. She had so many questions for Maria. She curled up against Luke and fell into a deep relaxed sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**Is anyone still with me? I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. Life gets in the way sometimes. But I did say that I would complete it, and I'm sticking to my word. Previously on Gilmore Girls: Maria came back into the Danes family's lives and she brought news that would irrevocably alter their world. She told them of a program that could help Matthew**. **Plans were made for the entire family to have dinner at Luke and Lorelai's, where Maria would show a movie about the family who created The Son-Rise Program and their amazing story. I want to give huge thanks to the real Maria in my life (I Love Lukey), whose friendship has inspired me to open my heart and continue this story. Many hugs to you for waking up my muse! You are awesome! As are all my readers! Please review so I know that you're still with me. I am actually writing the next chapter as soon as I post this. I'm on a roll, so why stop now, right?**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. Gilmore Girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino. The Son-Rise Program and Option Process are created by Barry Neil Kaufman and Samahria Lyte Kaufman, founders of The Option Institute and the Autism Treatment Center Of America, and are used with permission. This story is a work of fiction, based on real principles, and is intended for entertainment purposes only.**

**Chapter 19: Son-Rise**

Friday came and the Danes house was filled with an air of eager anticipation. As Luke prepared dinner, Lorelai straightened up the living room to make it Emily and Richard approved. Emmy helped by picking up her toys and putting them away in the toy chest. Lorelai looked around the room, inspecting it and nodding in satisfaction. As she dusted the tables, her thoughts rambled in her head.

_What if this doesn't work? What if we go through learning this whole program and Matty doesn't get better? Luke has been spending a lot of time at the diner. I think he's purposely avoiding us. He's more monosyllabic than usual. Emmy has been clingy. She just wants so much of my attention, and I don't know how much more I have to give. I'm exhausted with trying to take care of Matthew, working at the Dragonfly, and dealing with things here. I want this Son-Rise Program to work. I want my boy back! I want things to be back to normal again._

She was interrupted from her thoughts by a tug on her pant leg. She looked down to see Emmy's big blue eyes staring at her. She ruffled the girl's curls and smiled.

"What's up, Sweetpea?" Lorelai sat down on the couch and pulled Emmy onto her lap.

"Mommy, can I watch the movie with you and Daddy?" Emmy muttered, rubbing her face in her mother's shirt.

"Honey, we aren't going to watch the movie till after dinner," Lorelai said, kissing the top of Emmy's head. "You may fall asleep during it."

"But I want to see it, Mommy," Emmy whined, jutting her bottom lip out in the characteristic Gilmore pout.

"How about this?" Lorelai compromised. "I'll let you stay up to watch the movie, but if you fall asleep during it, we can watch it tomorrow."

"Is Matty gonna watch the movie?" Emmy inquired, snuggling against her mother.

"Probably not," Lorelai replied. "I don't think he'll want to. I'll set him up with Scooby Doo on the portable DVD player. He'll like that."

"Can we have popcorn?" Emmy asked. "Daddy makes the bestest popcorn!"

"With extra butter for you and me," Lorelai added, giving her little girl a big squeeze. "I think we can talk him into it. After all, Rory and Logan are coming, and you know your sister loves the buttery goodness too."

"Grandma and Grandpa won't eat popcorn," Emmy giggled, as Lorelai tickled her on her belly.

"Then they can eat bunny food like Daddy," Lorelai laughed.

"I heard that," Luke exclaimed from the kitchen. He poked his head in the doorway and gestured with a wooden spoon. "Vegetables are good for you. There will be healthier choices to snack on during the movie other than your gut-busting, artery clogging junk food. And Emmy will be eating something other than popcorn with extra butter."

"That's right! We can't forget the Red Vines," Lorelai gasped, slapping herself on the side of the head. "What was I thinking?"

Emmy giggled and clapped her hands. "Can I have cookies too?"

"You'll have apple slices with yogurt to dip them in," Luke called out firmly from the kitchen.

"Aw, Daddy," Emmy whined, a frown creasing her brow, as she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

"Sorry, Sweetpea, I tried," Lorelai muttered in consolation. "At least you can have some popcorn."

Luke sighed and shook his head. He really wanted his kids to eat better, but having Lorelai around to sabotage his efforts was proving futile. She wanted them to be able to choose for themselves, not to be forced to eat things they didn't like, the way she was as a child. And so Luke sought out to make fruits and vegetables appealing to his picky family, Lorelai included. As Lorelai and Emmy continued their living room cleaning, he set out to create some tasty movie snacks that would hopefully be enjoyed by everyone.

After spreading a sheet of wax paper on the kitchen table, Luke brought over a bowl of assorted fruit he'd just cut up. He was planning on serving a nice fruit salad for dessert, but decided that it was going to take more than mere fruit to get his family to eat better. He searched the drawers to find toothpicks and found a box stuffed in the back of the junk drawer. He set the toothpicks on the table and retrieved a pot of warm dark chocolate from the stove.

"I smell chocolate," Lorelai called out from the living room. "Is the Nestlé's Quik Bunny here?" She sauntered into the kitchen with Emmy practically knocking her over in her haste to meet the Nestlé's Quik Bunny.

"Where is he, Daddy?" Emmy ran around the kitchen, looking under the table for the elusive bringer of chocolaty goodness.

"You just missed him. He went that way," Luke commented, gesturing toward the back door with his thumb. His lopsided grin gave him away.

"Oh, Daddy, you're silly," Emmy giggled, throwing herself at her father. "He can't open the door to go outside."

"Well maybe Sonny, the Cocoa Puffs bird, opened it with his beak and they ran off to find Count Chocula," Lorelai pondered with a giggle.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Now I know where she gets it from."

"Shh," Emmy whispered in Luke's ear. "Mommy doesn't know they're cartoons on TV and they're not real."

Luke let out a belly laugh and ruffled Emmy's hair. He slapped Lorelai's hand, as she attempted to dip her index finger into the chocolate. Luke watched silently as Matthew entered the kitchen, grabbed a handful of fruit from the bowl, stuffed it into his mouth, and headed back into the living room. His smile quickly vanished when he noted the vacant look in his son's eyes, and the complete lack of awareness his boy had for anything going on around him. Luke sighed and began skewing pieces of fruit with toothpicks. He dunked each piece into the chocolate and placed it on the wax paper. Once the wax paper was filled with chocolate covered fruit, he placed the sheet in the freezer.

Luke had no clue as to whether chocolate covered fruit would make any difference in the evening's success, but he hoped things would go smoothly. Having his in-laws over was usually stressful enough. Watching some movie about how some autistic kid has a seemingly miraculous recovery felt too good to be true. He wanted to believe it though. There had to be something out there to help Matthew. Observing the faraway look on Lorelai's face, he hoped that they would make it too. Raising the twins, and Matthew's autism, was proving to be a bigger challenge than either of them had ever undertaken. The stress was taking its toll on both of them.

Dinner went surprisingly well. Rory and Logan came with Ariel. Emily and Richard were cordial; refraining from making disparaging remarks about the cleanliness of the house, or the fact that Matthew refused to eat at the table and paced around it in circles. Maria thoroughly enjoyed watching him. She found the boy to be delightful. Lorelai was amazed that Maria could be so calm and sweet, completely unfazed by Matthew's high pitched vocalizations, as he circled the table, flapping his hands in front of him.

When dinner was over, Rory settled Ariel down to sleep in her old bedroom. Lorelai placed a Scooby Doo DVD in the portable player and Matthew sat on the floor in the living room to watch it. Emily and Richard seated themselves in the two chairs, while Rory joined Logan on the floor. Luke made sure everyone had a supply of movie snacks before he flopped down on the couch next to Lorelai. Emmy climbed up in her mother's lap and snuggled against her. Maria stood in the center of the room to introduce the movie they were about to view.

"This movie is called Son-Rise: A Miracle Of Love. It was a made for TV movie and it tells the story of a couple who searched for answers about how to help their unreachable autistic son. They found those answers inside themselves and developed a program based on unconditional love. As you watch the movie, you'll understand exactly what I mean. Enjoy!"

Maria sat down next to Lorelai on the couch as the movie began. Lorelai wasn't sure what to expect, but she found herself engrossed in the Kaufmans story. They seemed to have it all, the whole package as Lorelai liked to put it. They had two young daughters and joyously welcomed their new son into their family. After some health issues, Raun thrived and grew into a happy baby. As a toddler, Raun began to exhibit strange behaviors and withdrew into his own little world.

Lorelai could feel Luke tightening his embrace on her shoulder, as the parents sought out specialist after specialist who offered no hope for their son. She didn't even realize she was crying until Maria reached for the box on the coffee table and handed her some tissues. She looked over at Maria, embarrassed by her loss of control, and was met with a pair of compassionate brown eyes and a soft smile. Maria gave her hand a squeeze and turned back to the TV. Lorelai began to sob in earnest when the Kaufmans visited a facility where young children with developmental disabilities were strapped to chairs, isolated, given punishments for non compliance, and even administered shock treatments.

"It's okay, Lorelai," Maria whispered close to Lorelai's ear.

"Mom, are you alright?" Rory croaked softly, as she wiped the tears from her own eyes. When her mother nodded wordlessly, Rory turned back to the movie.

Even the normally stoic Emily Gilmore dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. Lorelai caught her mother's gaze and smiled slightly. No one in the room was immune to the powerful emotions of the story playing out on the TV screen. It was one thing to watch it; it was quite another to actually live it. Lorelai sighed and leaned into Luke, as the story continued to unfold.

The parents, appalled at the way these special children were being treated, decided to explore other avenues to help their son. They loved Raun, as he was, and they wanted to understand him, so they set up a play area in their bathroom and observed Raun. They kept a journal of everything he did, what he responded to, his likes and dislikes—they wanted to embrace their son's uniqueness. And they wanted to do it from a place of unconditional love and acceptance, without judgments, without expectations. They would let Raun show them the way.

"Mommy, how come they have to stay in the bathroom all day?" Emmy whispered loudly. "How come Raun can't play with his sisters?"

Lorelai looked puzzled and glanced over at Maria for backup. Maria smiled and rubbed Emmy's leg.

"Well, sweetie, Raun didn't know how to play with his sisters," Maria explained, "just like Matthew doesn't know how to play with you. His mommy and daddy made a play room in the bathroom so it wouldn't have any distractions to upset him."

"What's distrations?" Emmy asked, wrinkling her nose.

"Distractions are the things that bother Raun, like fire engines and loud noises bother Matthew." Maria patiently continued. "When Raun is in the bathroom, there is nothing to bother him and it's calm and safe."

"Oh," Emmy breathed, nodding her understanding. She popped a piece of chocolate covered banana in her mouth and leaned back against her mother.

Luke smiled at his little girl as she ate piece after piece of fruit. He looked over at Matthew and noticed the DVD had finished, and now the boy was sitting and rocking, clutching his blanket and staring into space. He turned to the movie once more and watched with renewed interest, as the couple began to join their little boy in his rocking. Whatever Raun did, they did. Luke wasn't sure if he agreed with their methods, but he was curious anyway.

As the movie progressed, Lorelai understood the reason for keeping a daily log. Every night, after Raun had finally gone to sleep, the exhausted but hopeful parents reviewed the daily journal. Had there been any changes in Raun's self-stimulating behaviors? If so, what was the cause? Did he make any eye contact and if so, for how long? They assessed every detail of Raun's day and celebrated every success, no matter how minute. Through it all, they supported each other and kept the lines of communication open. Lorelai was amazed that they made time for their two little girls, making sure they not only felt loved, but that they too were a part of their brother's program.

Lorelai wrapped her arms around her sleepy daughter and hugged her tight. Emmy was fighting to stay awake. She was so interested in the story of the cute little boy that she was fighting a gallant battle with her droopy eyelids and losing. Lorelai kissed the top of Emmy's curly head, running her fingers through the soft, springy ringlets. She knew her little girl would be just as helpful with her own brother as Bryn and Thea were with Raun.

"Mommy?" A sleep Emmy murmured. "If I do like Matty does, will he get better?"

Lorelai could feel the tears stinging her eyes, as she blinked them back. "I hope so, Sweetpea."

As the Kaufmans celebrated each breakthrough with Raun, all eyes were glued to the TV screen. Lorelai barely noticed when Emmy slid down off her lap and tip toed across the room. Maria patted Lorelai's hand and gestured with her head, a huge smile lighting up her face. Lorelai gasped and poked Luke, who also turned. Maria tapped Logan on the shoulder and he caught Rory's attention. Within seconds, all eyes were focused on the sight in the corner of the room. There sat Emmy, side by side with her brother, rocking along with him in perfect synchronicity. As sleepy as she was, she quietly rocked, keeping pace with Matthew. She didn't touch him because she knew he didn't like to be touched. She just rocked.

"I think we have our first Son-Rise Program volunteer," Maria commented, still beaming with joy. She paused the movie and they all just watched Emmy. "This is "joining" in action," Maria said. "Emmy has entered Matthew's world, a place where he feels safe, and by joining him in rocking, she's showing him that she accepts him and that he is okay. She's not judging his actions as good or bad. She's just being with him and loving him as he is. This is the key to the Son-Rise Program. This is why it works."

The room was silent, as everyone observed the twins. They were so connected, their movements like a choreographed dance whose music only they could hear. The rocking slowed as the participants began to succumb to their fatigue. Eyelids slowly closed, and suddenly, as if part of their tandem ballet, two little bodies slumped over face first on the rug. Brother and sister were fast asleep, their bodies mere inches from each other.

Rory giggled, as Lorelai wiped the tears from her cheeks. She turned to Luke and noticed the moisture in his eyes. He blinked to clear his vision. "I guess we should get them settled into their beds," Lorelai suggested, patting Luke's thigh.

Emily and Richard looked at each other, communicating without words. "Lorelai, may we put them to bed?" Emily inquired. "Your father and I don't often get such an opportunity, especially with your father away on business."

"What your mother is trying to say is that we would really love to spend a few moments with our grandchildren," Richard added.

"Oh. Okay," Lorelai responded. "Um, thank you for doing this. Matty's diapers are under the bathroom sink. Oh and have Emmy use the toilet before you put her down. She had a lot to drink tonight and we don't want any accidents."

Emily and Richard each scooped up a child and headed upstairs. Emily coerced a sleepy Emmy to use the toilet and wash her hands afterward. She debated on whether to have the child brush her teeth, but decided against it since Emmy had been asleep. She didn't want to wake her fully. She brought a diaper into the bedroom where Richard was undressing Matthew.

"Let me, Richard," Emily asserted. She tucked Emmy into her bed and motioned Richard aside.

"I am perfectly capable of changing the boy's diaper, Emily," Richard replied. "I have performed the task successfully on several occasions."

"If by "successfully" you mean wresting the child into submission and putting the diaper on backwards, taped to his shirt, with one butt cheek hanging out, then you were very successful," Emily remarked facetiously, with one eyebrow quirked.

"Well he's asleep," Richard noted. "How hard can it be?"

Emily threw up her hands in concession. "Alright. If you think you can handle it, then fine. Not once did you change Lorelai's diapers, or Rory's for that matter."

"We had nannies for that," Richard stated. "And Lorelai wouldn't allow us near Rory as a baby. She wanted to do everything herself. I'm still incensed about all the nannies she let go, all perfectly good women that we hired to help her with Rory."

"That is the past, Richard. She and Luke are actually letting us be grandparents this time, and they need all the help they can get right now."

Matthew slept, oblivious to the conversation going on, as Richard opened the wet diaper and removed it. He slid a new diaper under Matthew's butt, making sure the tabs were positioned correctly. Once exposed to the cool air, Matthew began to urinate straight into the air. Emily stifled her laughter, as a stunned Richard promptly capped off the geyser with the diaper, narrowly avoiding a direct hit to the chest. He fastened the tabs on each side and checked to make sure no body parts were exposed. He beamed a smile of satisfaction and dressed Matthew in his pajama suit.

"Well done, Richard," Emily whispered, as she tucked Matthew under the covers. They kissed their two grandchildren on their foreheads while gently stroking their soft curls. It was the only time Matthew would allow physical contact and they both fully appreciated that moment. They stood up and Richard put his arm around his wife. They gazed at the two serene little faces once more and turned to exit the room.

"Well, Dear, now I recall why I don't change diapers," Richard chuckled, as he leaned down and kissed his wife on the cheek. They descended the stairs arm in arm; surprised that Lorelai hadn't started the movie without them.

"We were wondering what was taking you guys so long," Rory remarked.

"Your grandfather decided to change your brother's diaper," Emily replied, crossing the living room to take her seat.

"Oh no! You totally got hosed, didn't you?" Lorelai gasped. The sheepish look on her father's face told her everything she needed to know and she burst out laughing.

"We forgot to warn you," Luke apologized. "Matthew has a tendency to pee as soon as his diaper is removed. I swear he times it just to make me mad."

"For your information, I did not get "hosed"." Richard said, emphasizing the word. "My reflexes are still quite good. Although I must admit, the boy does have good aim."

"It must be a guy thing," Logan said, grinning. "We don't have that problem with Ariel."

"Now if we could just get him to aim for the toilet…." Lorelai commented, shaking her head.

"I believe we've had enough talk of bodily functions," Emily announced. "Let's not waste Maria's time. She was kind enough to bring this movie for us to view. The least we can do is watch it. I for one, want to see how it ends."

"That's quite alright, Emily," Maria giggled. "I'm really enjoying this. It's nice to see everyone having fun. And I completely agree with you, Logan. My son used to aim for the ceiling! He got me on more than one occasion! His father used to joke that Michael was practicing his sky writing."

After drinks and snacks had been replenished, Lorelai grabbed the remote and continued the movie. Raun started to show significant improvement, as his family worked with him every waking hour. Raun began making eye contact for longer periods of time and his self-stimulating behaviors decreased. Lorelai found herself cheering when Raun communicated his desire for juice for the very first time. The little boy blossomed into a curious child, as he discovered the world around him. He developed words to communicate and could identify people and objects. He was extremely bright and inquisitive.

One day, there was a shift in Raun that was unsettling. He withdrew back into his solitary world and began rocking, flapping his fingers, and spinning plates again. He no longer responded to stimulus or communicated his wants. The change was disheartening but his parents loved him as he was. Raun was testing them and they knew it. They went back into the playroom and started from the beginning. When Raun rocked, they rocked. When Raun spun plates on their edges, they spun plates. They were with Raun, loving and accepting him, without judgments or conditions.

Lorelai felt like her emotions were being put through a wringer. She fought back the tears as she watched Raun pull into himself. When Raun decided to come back to his family and greet them one morning with smiles and words, Lorelai broke down and sobbed. The movie ended with scenes of an older Raun, played by a child actor in the movie, playing in a park. Young Raun questioned the caretaker of another special child, and in an act of compassion he gave the child a helium filled balloon. This Raun showed no signs of autism whatsoever.

"Please, please, please tell me this can work with Matthew," Lorelai begged, mopping her cheeks with a crumpled tissue.

"Lorelai…." Luke placed a hand on her thigh.

"What, Luke?" Lorelai turned and snapped at him. "Everything we've tried with Matthew has only made things worse. If I have to sit in the bathroom with him for twelve hours a day, every day, until he looks me in the eyes and recognizes me, then so be it! I'm ready, Luke. I'm so ready! I can't live like this anymore. The older he gets, the more withdrawn he is."

"Lorelai, I'm not sayin' I don't wanna try it, but what if it doesn't work?" Luke ran his fingers through his hair. "We need to be realistic."

"And if Matthew didn't improve, would you be okay with that?" Maria questioned gently.

"I don't know," Luke huffed. "Why even try something if there's no guarantee that it'll work? It seems like a waste of time."

"I don't think it's a waste of time," Lorelai countered. "Look at what it did for Raun?"

"Matthew isn't Raun, Lorelai. He has tantrums far worse than any kid I've ever seen."

"I know that, Luke! Who do you think is with him all day? Who deals with his meltdowns? Me, that's who!"

"You're absolutely right, Luke," Maria affirmed. "Matthew _isn't_ Raun. Every child is different, and each child responds to the Son-Rise Program in his or her own way, in their own time, but they _do_ respond. How much growth Matthew accomplishes is up to him."

Rory could see the argument between her mom and Luke was about to heat up further, so she decided to redirect the topic. "So, Maria, what's the first step toward setting up this Son-Rise Program?"

"Well, first I'd like to go over the diary that I asked you to keep on Matthew of all his daily activities," Maria directed to Lorelai and Luke. "It will give us an idea of what Matthew's needs are and we can begin from there."

"Please tell me you aren't planning to sit with Matthew in the bathroom all day, every day," Emily remarked with a look of mild disgust.

"Oh no, Emily," Maria laughed. "The Kaufmans set up a play area in their bathroom because they were experimenting and needed a place free of distractions. The program is actually done in a playroom that you set up."

"That's right, Emily," Richard added. "I do recall mention of using your garage as the playroom?"

"I think that would be perfect," Rory exclaimed. "Luke can fix it up with everything Matthew would need."

The conversation continued on about setting up the garage as Matthew's playroom and what items would go into it. Although Lorelai and Luke participated, Maria could sense the tension between the two. As the evening came to a close and the elder Gilmores and Huntzbergers left, Maria took Lorelai aside. "Lorelai, can we sit and talk for a bit?"


	20. Chapter 20

**Wow! I posted another chapter in eight days! Woo hoo! I'm on a roll now! Lol! I hope you enjoy this. Don't worry, we'll see how Luke is doing with things when Maria corners the man in the next chapter. Ya gotta catch him when he's workin'! In this case, he's working on setting up the playroom for Matthew. Please leave a review and I'll do the happy dance for you! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I have the most awesome readers and reviewers! Lol!**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. Gilmore Girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino. The Son-Rise Program and Option Process are created by Barry Neil Kaufman and Samahria Lyte Kaufman, founders of The Option Institute and the Autism Treatment Center of America, and are used with Permission. This Story is a work of fiction, based on real principles, and is intended for entertainment purposes only.**

**Chapter 20: Support, snow, and snuggles**

"Luke, I'm going out on the porch to talk with Maria," Lorelai called into the kitchen, while pointing to the front door. Luke had been cleaning up the night's mess.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Luke replied distractedly. "I'm gonna finish up in here and head up to bed."

"Thanks, babe, I'll be up in a bit." Lorelai quietly shut the front door behind her as she went outside.

Maria sat on the porch swing, a serene look on her face. Puffs of breath drifted from her lips in the cold night air. Lorelai zipped her coat up, pulled her hat from the pocket and put it on. She stood for a moment gazing at her friend. Maria had changed, but it was a good change. Her brown hair was longer now, reaching just to her shoulders. She was still slim and looked much younger than her fifty-two years. She smiled warmly, the only evidence of the hardships she'd been through showing in the fine lines on her forehead and around her eyes.

Maria patted the seat next to her on the swing. "Come and sit and talk with me for a bit, Lorelai. I've really missed you."

"I missed you too," Lorelai replied softly, taking a seat. Maria placed an arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "You know, I'm still kind of mad at you for just dropping off the face of the earth for three years."

"What do you mean?" Maria probed. She already had a strong feeling that she knew the answer to that, but she wanted to hear it from Lorelai's mouth. She could feel Lorelai's body stiffen in response.

"I needed you," Lorelai began, her voice choked with angry tears. "I needed you and you weren't there. You were such a great help when Rory had her car accident. I don't know how I would've gotten through that, if it weren't for you. And then all of a sudden you're gone. No phone calls. Your number's disconnected with no forwarding number, and you've moved."

"I'm sorry about my absence, Lorelai. It wasn't intentional. Well maybe it was." Maria thought for a moment before continuing. "When Michael committed suicide, I fell into a deep depression. I was lost. I withdrew from everything and everyone I loved. I know my actions then had consequences, but I just wasn't ready to accept them. I needed to find help. I needed to find myself again. I never meant to abandon you."

"But you did," Lorelai replied, barely above a whisper. "There were so many times over the past year even that I wanted…no _needed_ to talk to you and you weren't around! God! Listen to me! Here you are telling me the _reason_ why you weren't around and I'm just being selfish. You must think I'm a horrible person."

"I don't think you're a horrible person, Lorelai," Maria stated. "You've had a lot to deal with and you're entitled to your feelings."

"I noticed tonight that there was a lot of tension between you and Luke," Maria mentioned. "Is there anything you want to talk to me about now? I'm here and I'm listening."

Lorelai took in a deep breath and swallowed hard against the lump forming in her throat. There was something so comforting about Maria. No matter how upset she was with her friend for not being a part of her life for the past three years, she couldn't stay mad at her. Maria sat next to her, patiently listening as she babbled on about her problems. Lorelai looked down at her hands, as she wrung them in her lap. How could she admit to herself, let alone another person, that she feared for her marriage? How could she admit that the strain was tearing her apart? She loved Luke, but he seemed to be pulling away from her and the kids.

"I'm so tired," Lorelai sighed, her head slumping forward. "I feel like I do everything. I run the Dragonfly, working mostly from home now because I can't leave Matthew with anybody. I've got Emmy constantly looking for my attention, Matthew having meltdowns, and Luke! Don't get me started! We're supposed to be in this together, but he's got no patience! He flies off the handle almost as much as Matty does! Or he retreats to the diner and works long hours, leaving me alone to deal with the kids. I'm frustrated and tired. Matthew isn't doing well in that school we thought would help him. In fact, he's getting worse! I just don't know what to do! Now I'm rambling on like a lunatic. They should just come and get me and stick me in one of those padded rooms in one of those love-me jackets! I could learn how to weave baskets and do five billion piece jigsaw puzzles."

"I hear what you're saying, Lorelai," Maria soothed. "But why are you telling me this?"

"To prove just how mentally unbalanced I've become?" Lorelai offered, looking down at the ground. "I guess I'm just getting everything out. I don't know."

"If I'm hearing you correctly, you're saying that you're feeling overwhelmed with all of your responsibilities and lack of support from Luke?"

Lorelai nodded. While she felt hopeful about starting the Son-Rise Program, she wasn't sure if Luke would completely involve himself in it. She needed him. She'd always prided herself on being independent and doing everything on her own. She had raised Rory successfully. But Rory wasn't Matthew. She hadn't a clue how to raise him and she felt like a failure. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, stinging from sheer exhaustion. Her lower lip trembled, as she fought to hold back the deluge of emotion.

"Lorelai, what are you feeling right now?" Maria inquired gently. She placed an arm around a sniffling Lorelai and offered her a tissue.

"I'm a failure," Lorelai whispered, wiping her eyes with the tissue. "I thought I could do this parenting thing. I did pretty well at raising Rory, but I don't know how to do this. I'm trying so hard to do everything right and it's all just so wrong! I'm a failure."

"Why do you believe that you're a failure?"

"Luke and I fight all the time. Emmy wants my attention and when I give it to her, it's never enough. I can't keep Matthew from having tantrums. He doesn't talk anymore. He used to talk. Don't you remember? He doesn't smile or even look at us. It hurts to see him like this and I can't fix it. I can't make everyone happy."

"Do you believe it's your job to make everyone happy?" Maria rubbed Lorelai's back in small circles.

"I'm a mother," Lorelai said simply. "My kids are supposed to be happy and healthy or I'm doing something wrong. My parents did a lot of things wrong when they raised me. I definitely wasn't a happy kid. I promised myself that when I became a mother, I'd do things differently. I'd be a good mother and my kids would be happy. Rory turned out great. She was sweet and bright and just a super kid right from the start. When she was fully grown, I thought I'd made it. Then the twins came along and everything I thought I knew went right out the window!"

"Do you really believe that you can make your family happy?" Maria asked again.

Lorelai thought for a moment. "I guess not."

"What do you think would happen if you _didn't_ believe that?"

Lorelai shook her head. "I don't understand, Maria. Are you asking me what would happen if I didn't think I could make my family happy?"

"Beliefs are thoughts we have, attitudes we adopt because of how we were raised, or how we feel about a particular statement," Maria explained. "Do you believe that you can make anyone happy, or unhappy for that matter?"

"I guess not," Lorelai muttered. "I can't even make _myself_ happy. How could I make anyone else happy?"

"Simply put, you can't," Maria stated. "Nobody can _make_ you feel anything. Feelings are a part of our makeup. Emotions just _are_. Nobody can make you feel anything, because you have the _choice_ of what to feel, and how to respond to people. You can choose to be sad or you can choose to be happy. Luke can choose to be angry, and it's _his _choice, _his_ emotions. It's not a reflection on you."

"How are we supposed to help Matthew if we're not together on the same page?" Lorelai wondered. "I can't do it all myself."

"You don't have to, Lorelai. You're not alone. I've worked with many families who felt just as overwhelmed as you and Luke are feeling. Do you believe that the Son-Rise Program will help Matthew?"

"I want to believe," Lorelai sighed. "I want to believe so much."

"If you believe it, you can make it happen," Maria affirmed. "I'll show you how, step by step. All you have to do is open your heart and want it."

"I do," Lorelai whispered, her voice lost to the emotions building inside her. Lorelai looked away, her eyes clouded with unshed tears, as Maria pulled her in a tender embrace.

"Lorelai, hon, I understand about the pain you're feeling. I've had more than my share of it in my lifetime," Maria consoled. "I know you're hurting and I'm here to lean on. I'm not going anywhere. I'll talk with Luke and see if he wants to share his issues with me. I know that he isn't one to open up and pour out his pain to just anyone, but maybe he'll trust me enough to open that door."

Lorelai sank into her friend's embrace, deeply moved by Maria's genuine loving kindness. She had missed her so much, and having her back in her life was the answer to her prayers. She let go, completely secure in her friend's arms, and began to cry. She could feel Maria rubbing her back, as her shoulders shook with sobs. It was such a relief to be wrapped in those loving arms. If angels really did exist, then Lorelai was sure Maria was one of them. When Lorelai sat up straight, Maria handed her another tissue and placed a tiny kiss on her friend's tear stained cheek.

" I know you feel as if you failed your family, Lorelai, but you haven't," Maria soothed. "Luke loves you. He may be angry and feeling just as overwhelmed, but that man loves you so much. You aren't responsible for what he feels. All you can do is accept that he is dealing with things as best as he can, as are you."

"Why do I always feel better after talking with you?" Lorelai questioned. "Even when you abandon me for three years, you still manage to work that charm and make me feel less like banging my head against the wall." Chuckling slightly, she sniffled, and then took the crumpled tissue and blew her nose.

"It must be my sparkling wit and charming personality," Maria remarked with a giggle. "Everything is going to be okay, hon. Just remember…you and Luke are doing the best you can. I know it's hard, but try to accept Luke's feelings for what they are, _his_ feelings, not yours. As far as Matthew's tantrums go, if you can learn to accept your son as he is, you'll find the strength to help him. You love him and so does Luke. Let that love be the force that guides you toward an understanding of Matthew."

"Luke, use the force," Lorelai intoned in her best Obi-wan Kenobi voice. She shook her head and giggled.

"Do or do not. There is no try," Maria stated in a perfect Yoda impression. She watched the smile spread across Lorelai's face and they both burst out laughing.

"Now I know why I missed you so much," Lorelai noted. "You always could make me laugh! Even when I felt like crap!"

"It's a gift, what can I say?" Maria patted Lorelai's hand. "Look, hon," she said softly, gesturing with her head.

Lorelai followed Maria's gaze and gasped. Downy white flakes of snow drifted silently in the night sky, touching down softly on the ground. It was tranquil, and its significance was not lost on the women. They both watched for a moment, as the flurries continued to float in the air, completely absorbed in the intricate dance they seemed to perform. Lorelai stood up and skipped down the porch steps. She threw her arms out wide and spun in circles, her head pointed upward, as the tiny icy flakes landed on her face. The only sound that filled her ears was the crunch of the old snow under her feet.

Maria stood on the porch, a huge grin lighting up her face. "I remember you telling me that the snow was magical, and that good things happened when it snowed."

"It's a sign, isn't it?" Lorelai stopped spinning and faced Maria. "This Son-Rise Program is going to work."

"If you believe it will, then it will," Maria acknowledged. "Miracles happen every day, Lorelai. You just have to open yourself to the possibility, trust in the power of love, and watch it all unfold."

"You're so optimistic, Maria."

"Is it rubbing off on you?"

"I sure hope so! I want Matty to be healthy and happy. I want to cure him of his autism, like Raun did. I want my family to be whole. I want everything to be back to normal, the way it was when the twins were babies." Lorelai sighed and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Well if the snow says it's so, then it must be so," Maria said, smiling. "I need to go home, put on my warmest pajamas, and cuddled up in front of the fire with a good book, a cup of hot chocolate, and my blanket. We'll talk more tomorrow. I'll go over your daily journal entries and we'll make plans for converting the garage into Matthew's playroom. You, my friend, need to go make peace with that stubborn diner man of yours and have lots of sex all night long."

"Maria!" Lorelai gasped, feeling her cheeks flush.

"What? I may be spiritually enlightened, but I'm not a prude!" Maria laughed, as she descended the porch steps. "Seriously though, go show that man of yours how much you love him. I'll bet he's feeling pretty lonely in that big bed of yours right now."

"Maybe I'll tell him about our Star Wars revelations," Lorelai stated. "He'll get a kick out of that. My Yoda isn't as good as yours though."

"If you think I'm going to entertain your husband with my character impersonations while you two get your freak on, you've got another thing coming!" Maria burst into a fit of giggles.

"Gah! What are you …twelve?" Lorelai was about five shades of red now.

"Nah, seventeen. I went to see Star Wars when it first came out and I snuck into Saturday Night Fever and watched it three times in a row! Those were the days! Disco skating at the local roller rink, really short shorts and knee socks…okay, those I would not like to relive…I had a blast in my youth."

"Man, you _are_ old!" Lorelai giggled and threw her arms around her friend in a crushing hug. "Thanks for talking me down, Maria. After watching that movie, I've got a lot to think about."

"Remember, Lorelai, you can choose to be angry and overwhelmed, or you can choose to be happy and live with joy. It's all up to you. Now go make your man happy!"

"I don't know how I feel about you talking about my sex life," Lorelai grinned, shaking her head. "Besides, you said I can't _make_ anyone happy or unhappy."

"True," Maria replied, "but you can give him a reason to change his mood and let him decide. If he decides to stay grumpy, you just have to accept that his choice is about _his_ feelings, not yours. Either way, give him your support and your love. Now I'm tired and I'm going home. I'll talk to you tomorrow, hon."

"Thanks again, for everything," Lorelai said softly.

The two women hugged and kissed each other on the cheek. Lorelai watched as Maria trudged through the increasing new blanket of snow toward her car.

"Drive safely. It's really coming down now and the roads aren't well lit around here." Lorelai called out.

"I'll be careful. I'll call you when I get home to let you know I made it okay." Maria waved and got in her car.

Lorelai watched her friend pull away, and then stood for a few moments more, watching the snow fall. She felt a chill blow through her and turned and darted for the house. Once inside the foyer, she pulled off her snow caked shoes and set them in the bin to dry. She smiled softly to herself, noticing the little pairs of boots sitting in the bin. She had placed the bin by the front door to encourage Emmy to put her wet or muddy shoes in it, not on the floor. It was nice to see Emmy being more consistent about it, although it took numerous scoldings from Luke to drill it into her head. _Like mother, like daughter,_ Lorelai thought, remembering her childhood disregard for her mother's rule about muddy shoes on her immaculately polished floors.

After taking one last survey of the downstairs, Lorelai padded up to the bedroom. She cracked opened the door to the twins' room, peeking inside. Both Matthew and Emmy were sound asleep, Matthew cuddling his blanket, and Emmy hugging Mr. Wiggles, her stuffed iguana. Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief. This was one of the rare nights that Matthew fell asleep and stayed asleep. Usually she and Luke took turns trying to get the boy to sleep until the middle of the night. She carefully closed the door and crossed the hall to her own bedroom.

She entered the bedroom and closed the door behind her. Luke had left the bathroom door cracked and a sliver of light trailed along the floor. It was enough to see by. She glanced over at Luke, who was already in bed and appeared to be asleep. Lorelai quickly entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She hoped the light wouldn't disturb him. Once inside, she went about her bedtime routine.

When she was finished, she turned out the light and opened the door. After allowing her eyes to adjust to the darkness, Lorelai took a few tentative steps into the bedroom. She could see that Luke had rolled over onto his back, but she wasn't sure if he was awake or not. As she reached the edge of the bed, Lorelai made an impulsive decision. She yanked her pajama top over her head, tossing it on the floor, and removed her bottoms. She then climbed naked into bed and pulled the covers up over her. Luke still hadn't stirred and she bit her lip, wondering if he was still mad at her.

She turned to her side and faced him. "Luke," she whispered, placing a hand on his chest. The soft cotton of his t-shirt felt soothing and she pressed her cheek to it.

"Hmm," Luke hummed in his sleepy state. His eyes remained closed, but he lifted a hand to caress Lorelai's hair.

"Are you mad at me?" Lorelai whispered, her breath warming his skin through his shirt.

Luke sighed and stretched, opening his eyes and blinking a few times to clear his vision. He was tired, yes. Exhausted in fact. But was he mad at her? He was a bit irritated earlier when they were about to get into yet another argument, but that was over now. Lorelai lifted her head to look Luke in the eyes. He smiled languidly and kissed her forehead. She returned the smile and reached up to stroke his scruffy cheek.

"I'm not mad," Luke muttered, his voice gruff from sheer exhaustion. "I heard a lot of laughing out there."

"Well, good. I'm glad you didn't hear all the crying _before_ the laughing," Lorelai chuckled. "We had a good talk and Maria cheered me up."

"She's good at that," Luke noted. He rubbed Lorelai's back over the blanket, as she lay on his chest.

"I think this Son-Rise Program will work," Lorelai stated suddenly. "I also think that with Maria's help, we'll be able to reach Matthew. I'll admit I'm scared at the thought of trying something new with him. You know how he hates changes in his routine. But I think if we follow Maria's instructions to the letter, it will work. It has to. I can't keep going on like this."

Lorelai's sparkling eyes dimmed in that moment of painful reality. Luke didn't want her to start crying again, so he cupped her face, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, and kissed her tenderly on the lips. She smiled softly, embarrassed at how quickly her emotions could change. Luke gazed into her eyes, hoping to silently convey his love for Lorelai. He hated to see her so sad.

"I'm scared too, Lorelai," Luke whispered, as he continued to stay locked on those sad, but hopeful eyes. "All I know is what can it hurt, right? Things can only get better."

"Maria is going to go over the daily log we kept on Matthew and she wants to talk to you about setting up the playroom in the garage. I guess after that we start looking for volunteers to work the program with Matty." Lorelai sighed, letting the calming breath dissipate any of her reservations. Seeing the twinkle in Luke's eyes, her smile broadened.

"You're not wearing any pajamas," Luke discovered, as he slipped his hands under the blanket to wrap his arms around his wife. His smile grew to match Lorelai's.

"Oh, so you finally noticed," Lorelai giggled. "The kids are asleep. Both of them. At the same time. That's a rarity, and I thought we could take advantage of that."

"I'd rather take advantage of you," Luke growled, as he rolled them over, effectively pinning his wife beneath him. When Lorelai let out a little squeak of pleasure, he began to cover her face and neck with moist kisses.

"Why Mr. Danes, is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"You're crazy, you know that? And I love you so much." Luke crushed her lips with his.


	21. Chapter 21

**I've finally finished this chapter and it's a long one to make up for the delay. I hope it's worth the wait. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed and stuck with this story. In this chapter, Luke has a bit of a breakthrough. Things will start moving along after this. I will try my best to post more frequently.**

**Disclaimer: I own only the characters I create. Gilmore girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino. The Son-Rise Program and Option Process are created by Barry Neil Kaufman and Samahria Lyte Kaufman, founders of The Option Institute and the Autism Treatment Center of America, and are used with permission. This story is a work of fiction, based on real principles, and is intended for entertainment purposes only.  
**

**Chapter 21: On A Clear Day….**

The sun shone brightly above in a clear blue sky. Luke squinted, shading his eyes as he looked up. It was one of those perfect days where nothing could go wrong. He looked around, keenly aware that something was very different about this day, yet it appeared as if nothing was out of the ordinary. A gentle breeze blew, rustling the leaves on the trees around him, and fluffing up his hair. He wasn't wearing his ball cap. He pulled his fingers through his hair, trying to comb it into some semblance of order.

He was drawn away from his observations by the sound of laughter. Turning around, Luke caught sight of a playground with children climbing, swinging, and sliding. Two children in particular caught his attention. A young boy and girl were challenging each other, as they pumped their legs on tandem swings. Their joyous laughter filled his ears, as a smile spread on his face. He saw the light brown curls of his little girl flying behind her, as she pumped her legs to swing higher and higher. Next to her, her brother's short dark curls flopped in his face, as he pulled back, holding tightly to the chains.

"Daddy! Watch me," Emmy called out, as she leaned back to pump her little legs. "I can swing higher than Matty!"

"No you can't, Emmy," Matthew taunted with a laugh. "I'm going to swing right over the top of the swing set. Watch me, Daddy!"

"No! Watch me," Emmy squealed. As she kicked her legs forward, one small pink sneaker went flying off her foot, almost hitting Luke in the head. This brought out peals of laughter from both kids, as Luke bent down to retrieve the canvass missile.

"Easy, you two," Luke called out. "If you _do_ fly over the top, you're gonna get all caught up in the chains, and I'm not climbin' up there to untangle you."

"Daddy, you're silly! You can't swing over the top of the swing set," Emmy wisely corrected. "You'd fall off first. Matty just thinks he can. But then, he thinks he can fly too," she added with a giggle.

"I can too fly," Matthew said, grinning broadly. "See! I can reach the sky! I'm gonna kick the leaves off the trees. Maybe I'll even catch a bird. See that bird up there, Daddy? I'm gonna swing up and catch it. Then I'm gonna bring it home and keep it as my pet."

"You can't catch that bird, Matty," Emmy stated, rolling her eyes. "Besides, Daddy won't let you bring home a wild bird. Right, Daddy?"

"There will be no wild birds flying around the house," Luke agreed.

"I _can_ fly," Matthew exclaimed, as he let go of the chains and jumped from the swing in mid air. The boy landed on his butt with a thud in the soft sand. He stood up, brushed the sand from his shorts, and trotted over to his father. "Can I have a bird?"

"What? The fish, newts, hamster, frogs, and guinea pig aren't enough for you?" Luke smiled, ruffling his boy's hair. He joked, but he was also impressed by Matthew's love for all living things, and the tender care he gave his pets. "Why a bird?"

"Because birds are free, Daddy," Matthew answered, as if it were the most logical answer he could give. "Birds can fly. They can go anywhere and see everything. And they sing. I love to hear birds sing. I want a canary cause they sing the best. Birds make people happy. How can you be sad when you hear a bird sing? I want to always have happiness, even when I'm inside. And when I hear my canary sing, I'll remember to be happy."

Luke looked down at his son's beaming face, knowing that Matthew spoke the truth. He could see it reflected in the huge blue orbs that were locked on his on. He sucked in a breath and listened, as the birds sang in the trees nearby. Emmy jumped off her swing and ran over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist in a huge hug. It was a perfect moment, but something was missing. Or rather, some_one_. Lorelai.

Luke could still hear the birds singing, as his eyes fluttered open. The sun was just appearing over the horizon, filling the bedroom with a soft orange glow. Luke shifted slightly, the dream fog beginning to clear, as he felt the tickle of his wife's hair on his cheek. Lorelai was here, in their bed, her warm naked body snuggled up to his. The dream seemed so real. In his head, he could still see Matthew's angelic smile, hear his laughter, and the simple words of childlike wisdom. But why wasn't Lorelai in the dream?

He drew in a breath and exhaled slowly, trying to calm his pounding heart. It was just a dream, a vision of things that hadn't happened, couldn't possibly happen. Or could they? He wanted that happy family life more than anything. The dream was still lingering in his mind, still fresh in his consciousness. Matthew was a healthy, happy boy, as perfect as any child could be. Reality dawned on him, pressing down on his shoulders like an immovable weight. Luke swallowed hard against the building emotions. No, dream Matthew wasn't real. His boy was trapped inside the prison of his own body, communicating nothing, wanting nothing, interacting with no one. Two fat tears slid from the outer corners of his eyes and rolled slowly down the sides of his face and into his ears. He quickly rubbed away the evidence with the back of his hand.

Lorelai stirred next to him and he wrapped his arms tightly around her, kissing the top of her head. She was here. The fact that she wasn't in his dream didn't mean anything. If Luke was certain of one thing in his life, he was assured that Lorelai loved him and he loved her. She was the strong one. He was the coward who couldn't deal with his own son, or give his wife the support she desperately needed. What was he so afraid of?

Luke couldn't answer that question. He could, however, do _some_thing helpful. Motivation filled his veins and energized him with purpose. They needed a playroom for Matthew's Son-Rise Program, and he was just the man to create it! Ideas flooded his head and he sprang from the bed, nearly knocking Lorelai out of the bed in the process.

"Hey! What the…." Lorelai clutched the edge of the mattress in an attempt to keep from falling off. She blinked her eyes, as she pulled herself into the middle of the bed. Luke was already in the bathroom, his clothes wadded up under his arm.

"What time is it?" Lorelai croaked, half asleep. She opened one eye and promptly squeezed it shut against the early morning sun streaming through the windows. "Gah! Who turned on the sun? Big blazing ball of torment! Someone forgot to close the curtains last night," she accused, pulling the blanket over her head.

"That would be you," Luke intoned from the bathroom, as he zipped up his jeans. He could hear Lorelai's muffled groan escape from the pile of blankets. He pulled a fresh t-shirt over his head and a navy blue long sleeve tee over that. Layers were the key. It may have been cold outside now, but once he began to work, Luke knew he'd be peeling those layers off eventually. He entered the bedroom and rifled through the top drawer of his dresser till he found a pair of socks. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled them on.

"Need coffee," Lorelai mumbled under the blankets. "Need sleep. Coffee, then sleep. Why'd you wake me up? It's quiet. The kids are still asleep," Lorelai whined from under her cocoon of downy softness.

"What was that? I couldn't understand your mumbling," Luke replied, tying his shoes.

"I said why'd you wake me up?" Lorelai groaned impatiently, as she bolted to an upright position, her tangled mop of hair hanging in her face. Luke turned and caught sight of her naked and disheveled appearance and a huge grin spread across his face. "Why are you smiling? You've just deprived me of that rare chance to sleep in. That's no reason to smile. Hate morning. Hate early! Stupid birds singing! It's winter! Why aren't they all in Florida or something?"

Luke pushed the hair away from Lorelai's face and cupped it gently. He couldn't resist her pout. He knew that she wasn't really angry with him. She just wasn't a morning person. Her eyes were bloodshot and she had traces of eyeliner smudged under her lower lids. She looked so tired. She also looked beautiful. Luke placed a soft kiss on her lips, as he stroked her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

"Stop flirting with me. It's too early in the morning," Lorelai murmured, her pout faltering, as a smile teased at the corners of her mouth.

"How can I resist with a beautiful naked woman in my bed?" Luke replied, with a smile. "Although, you might want to put some clothes on before you give the neighbors a show, not to mention the possibility of awkward encounters with small children."

"Don't wanna," Lorelai drawled, as she lay back against the pillows, pulling Luke down with her. "Wanna snuggle with my man." She smiled languidly, her sleepy eyes struggling to stay open.

"Much as I'd love to, I've got a lot to do today." Luke kissed her once more and then pulled back. "Look, it's still early. The kids won't be up for a while. Why don't you go back to sleep for a while longer. I'll take care of Matthew and Emmy. I want to get ready to work on turning the garage into Matthew's playroom. I need to put together a list of stuff. I've got some good ideas. You sleep. I'll get the kids when they get up and I'll wake you when breakfast is ready."

"You're a good man, Luke Danes," Lorelai murmured, as she rolled over and hugged his pillow.

Luke brushed a lock of hair from Lorelai's face and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. He got up and crossed the room to leave.

"Luke?" Lorelai called out softly, turning to face him, as he stood in the doorway. "Thank you," she stated shyly, clutching the pillow to her chest. "I didn't think you'd be so quick to start work on the playroom. Thank you for taking The Son-Rise Program seriously. It means a lot to me."

"Yeah, well, building things is something I know how to do," Luke shrugged. "At least I can get things started. Now go back to sleep before Emmy comes barging in here wanting you to watch cartoons with her."

Lorelai sighed and closed her eyes, still hugging Luke's pillow. So much for getting his wife dressed. He shook his head, gazing at Lorelai's soft smile of contentment, knowing that she'd be asleep within moments. He turned the lock on the doorknob, giving Lorelai some privacy, and silently closed the door behind him. As he passed the twins' room, he stopped and listened. He cracked the door open and peeked inside. Emmy was still sound asleep, but Matthew was sitting on his bed, rocking quietly as he clutched his blankie.

Luke silently entered the room and escorted Matthew out into the hall. The boy kept a grip on his blanket, as he reluctantly took his father's hand. Luke brought Matthew to the downstairs bathroom and gave him a bath. Luke pinched the urine soaked diaper between two fingers and deposited it in the trashcan. He then wadded up the wet sleeper and tossed it into the washer. When he returned to the bathroom, Matthew was still sitting in the tub. The boy was rubbing his hand back and forth over the smooth metal grip rails with complete concentration.

"Looks like it's you and me this morning, buddy," Luke said, as he doused Matthew's hair with a pitcher of water. "Your sister is still asleep and it looks like God Himself couldn't get your mom out of bed." He chuckled to himself, as he shampooed Matthew's hair. "How about I set you up to hang out with Scooby Doo until Emmy gets up? Then we'll make some breakfast and get Mommy up too. What do you think?" Matthew kept his gaze on the shiny metal bar he was exploring and paid no attention to his father. Luke just sighed in response. He finished bathing Matthew, not even attempting to converse with the boy. _Why bother. It's not like he even understands a word I'm saying anyway,_ Luke thought to himself.

Luke popped the worn video into the VCR and pressed play. He grabbed a tablet and pen from the desk and sat on the couch. There was so much to remember, so many details. He made a list of what he thought Matthew would like in his playroom. He would have his colorful cars. The ragged blanket was a must. Maria said there needed to be educational toys to help Matthew learn to communicate. He'd leave the acquisition of those toys to Lorelai. She was much better at buying that stuff anyway. He'd need a place to put those toys. Shelves! Now _that_ was something Luke could do.

The day seemed to fly by like a blur for Luke. He made his list, fed the hungry masses, and headed to the garage to begin clearing it out. He was so focused and determined to complete the playroom in as little time as possible, that Lorelai accepted his absence. She was busy anyway. Maria had come over and was going over the log entries on Matthew's observation. This gave Luke uninterrupted time in the garage.

Lorelai went to the sink to fill the coffee pot with water for her third pot of the day. She gazed out the kitchen window over the sink and watched as Luke hauled off yet another load in his truck to destinations unknown. Maria came up behind her, placing her hand on Lorelai's shoulder.

"He's quite the busy bee, isn't he?"

"He's been out there all day, working like a madman in the garage," Lorelai replied, cringing at the thought of where all of her treasures from the garage might end up.

"He really seems to be focused on creating the playroom," Maria said smiling.

"Yeah, he is," Lorelai added with a nod. "He's trying, you know? I didn't think he'd take this seriously, but he's really trying. At least he's not griping about Matthew's behavior."

"I picked up the frustration in his observation notes on Matthew," Maria commented. "I _do_ want to check in with him and see how he's doing though. I want to make sure that we're all on the same page when we begin Matthew's playroom sessions."

A knock on the front door interrupted them and Emmy rushed for the door to answer it.

"Mommy, Aunt Sookie's here," she called out excitedly. "And she brought Martha and Stella!" The girls ran squealing up to Emmy's bedroom, as Sookie made her way to the kitchen.

"Hey, Sook, what brings you here? And aren't you missing a kid?" Lorelai crossed the room to embrace her friend.

"Nah, I pawned him off on Jackson," Sookie giggled. "He's doin' mans work. Hey, Maria. You _do_ know that Luke has been emptying your garage out into my shed, right?"

"He is?" Lorelai looked stunned. "I'm so sorry. He just went all gonzo on this playroom project. I didn't even think about where he'd put all the stuff from the garage."

"It's okay, hon," Sookie reassured her. "He came over and asked Jackson to help him 'clear the crap' from the garage, as he put it. Jackson was more than happy to oblige. And since Davy was grounded for smacking Stella upside the head, he put him to work too."

"So you decided to get away from all that testosterone and come over here?" Lorelai smiled and offered her friend a chair.

"It was either this or drag the girls up to the Dragonfly on my day off to torment Michel," Sookie said with a huge dimpled grin. "I thought he was going to have a stroke when Martha drew smiley faces on his Post-Its and stuck them all over the reception area last week. But when Stella ran out of the kitchen and hugged him with her jelly-covered hands, he threw a tantrum! He ranted for fifteen minutes! It made me wish I took French in school, cause I'm pretty sure there were quite a few cuss words in there."

"Well, we know how anal Michel is about his suits," Lorelai said, laughing.

"So Luke is really on board with turning the garage into a Son-Rise playroom?" Sookie wondered aloud. Lorelai had filled her in on the whole plan.

"It seems so," Maria replied, smiling. "I was going to check up on him in a while to see how he was doing. He's been gone quite a while this trip."

"Oh! He and Jackson mentioned something about heading to the Home Depot in Litchfield to get supplies," Sookie mentioned.

"I guess I can catch him later," Maria commented. "Something smells delicious. What are you hiding in those bags, Sookie, and does it go with coffee?"

Sookie giggled and began unloading a veritable feast of home cooked delights. Having known Lorelai for many years, Sookie knew not to come calling on her friend without bringing some kind of tasty treat, especially since Lorelai usually had nothing worth eating in her house. Things got exponentially better once Luke came into Lorelai's life, but Sookie still loved to bring over food she'd cooked from new recipes. She figured that if Lorelai liked it, it was sure to be a hit at the Inn.

The three women were so caught up in their visit that they didn't noticed Matthew quietly slipping out the unlocked front door. Maria spotted him through Rory's bedroom window walking along the porch. Lorelai caught Maria's intent gaze and panicked. She bolted from her chair, heading out the back door. Maria followed her, but instructed her to stand back and observe her son.

"But he'll take off down the block, or run into traffic," Lorelai exclaimed.

Maria placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "He's in the backyard. He'll be fine. We're watching him. We'll get him in a minute."

Lorelai glanced over her shoulder and spotted Sookie eying them through the kitchen door. She turned back to watch her son from their unobtrusive perch on the back porch. She was so used to panicking every time Matthew ran out of the house. She fought the nervous tremors in her muscles, as she battled the urge to grab her son and bring him back to the safety of the house. Why was she so afraid?

Maria felt Lorelai's anxiety and put her arm around her friend's shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze. They watched for a moment as Matthew walked in circles in the snow, oblivious to the audience he now commanded. His eyes held a dreamy expression, as he gazed up at the trees. He stopped and bent down to pick up some snow. It was cold in his hands and he threw it down, clapping his frosty hands together. Despite the cold, Matthew seemed to actually enjoy himself. The yard was quiet, unlike the upstairs, where three young girls were noisily playing dolls.

It was only then that Lorelai noticed that Matthew actually had boots on! He was walking around in his socks in the house. They were on the wrong feet, but they were on, nonetheless. She wondered if Emmy had put Matthew's boots on and encouraged her brother to go outside. She wouldn't put it past her clever daughter to try to get rid of the boy, so the girls could play in peace. She wasn't aware that Matthew even knew how to put on his boots. Apparently Maria noticed the same thing, because she was smiling.

"He's wearing his boots," Lorelai stated quietly. "I didn't know he knew how to put them on. He never showed any interest in dressing himself before."

"That doesn't mean he isn't capable of learning," Maria stated simply.

Both women were so engrossed in marveling at Matthew's achievement that they didn't hear the crunch of tires in the driveway. A truck door slammed, and before either of them could process it, Luke came bounding into the yard. He scooped up the startled boy under his arm and trudged to the back door. His face was red and his eyes were blazing with barely contained anger. Matthew began to scream and fought to release himself from his father's grasp.

"What the hell is he doing outside by himself?" Luke boomed, dropping Matthew to his feet on the back porch. The boy began to hit himself on the side of his head and scream louder.

"He's not outside by himself," Lorelai shot back. "We're out here too!"

"He's got no goddamn coat on, Lorelai! It's freezing out here! What the hell were you thinking?" He ushered the boy into the house, as Lorelai and Maria followed.

"We're not wearing coats either! Do you really think I planned this? That I just thought 'hey, let's let Matty outside to run around by himself with no coat on'? He snuck out and we followed him."

"You followed him? He takes off down the street and has nearly been hit by a car more than once!" Luke struggled to keep his anger in check. He paced around the kitchen.

"We were just observing him for a moment, to see what he was doing," Lorelai snapped.

"Oh! So I have _you_ to thank," Luke snarled, pointing an index finger at Maria. "When my son comes down with goddamn pneumonia, I'm sending you the medical bills!"

"Hey! It's not her fault! Jesus, Luke, nothing happened! Matthew is fine! We were watching him the whole time!"

"I think I'm gonna…." Sookie pointed toward the living room and left to keep an eye on the kids.

"Watching him freeze out in the snow? You could watch him in the house where it's warm! You know how unsafe it is for him to be outside alone! He runs out the door, you go get him _period_! You don't let him run around out there without a coat in the goddamn snow!" Luke's face was beet red, and his breaths were coming out in puffs.

"Stop yelling at me, Luke!" Lorelai backed away, her whole body shaking with anger and just a bit of fear. "You're getting Matthew even more worked up."

She looked over at her son, who was rocking furiously in a corner, his hands slapping at his ears. He was crying hysterically, and it was breaking her heart. A part of her wanted to join him, wanted to sit on the floor and just cry, but she inhaled a shaky breath and regained her composure. Once again, she needed to pacify her boy, and escape her husband's anger.

"Lorelai, why don't you take Matthew into Rory's old room, where it's quiet, and see if he'll calm down for you?" Maria suggested, giving Lorelai's shoulder a little squeeze. "Luke, can we go out to the garage and talk for a bit?"

"I don't feel much like talking right now," Luke muttered, watching as Lorelai bent down to help Matthew up off the floor. As she led him to Rory's old room, he could see the look of sadness in her glistening eyes, and he averted his gaze to his boots. The bedroom door clicked shut in quiet contrast to the explosive atmosphere in the room only moments before.

"That's fine," Maria replied. "You could show me what you bought at Home Depot, and fill me in on some of your ideas for the playroom."

"Yeah, sure." Luke sighed, all the fight drained from his body, leaving him feeling exhausted. He took a few steps into the living room and spotted Sookie playing tea party with the girls. She caught his eye and nodded, giving him a sad smile. He gave her a small contrite smile of his own, and a little wave.

"I'm going into the garage with Maria," Luke stated, his voice hoarse from yelling. "Lorelai is trying to calm Matthew down in Rory's room."

"Don't worry about a thing," Sookie responded. "I've got the girls under control. We're playing tea party with some of the goodies I brought. They'll be fine. Emmy's helping me make the tea."

"You want some, Daddy? It's good," Emmy offered, raising her little teacup.

"Maybe later, Sweetpea," Luke answered. "Be good for Aunt Sookie. I'll be back in a little bit."

Luke headed out the back door and went over to his truck parked in the driveway. He sighed and shook his head, ever aware of Maria's serene presence nearby. He said nothing, as he opened the garage doors and began to unload the truck. When Maria began to help carry some of the supplies, he had no comment. His thoughts were whirling around in his brain like a gritty sand storm, scratching the insides of his consciousness like an annoying itch he couldn't reach. He felt suffocated and terrified, all at the same time.

He tried to focus on creating the playroom, but the whirlwind of thoughts wouldn't allow him. He clenched and unclenched his jaw, concentrating on keeping his breathing even, for fear he'd have an anxiety attack and the very fabric of his being would be rent asunder. He needed to keep it together. He could feel the fear clawing at his chest like millions of voracious insects gnawing and burrowing into his lungs. He couldn't breathe.

After a while, Luke sat down on the floor and leaned back against the wall. He brought his knees up. He removed his cap, ran his fingers through his sweat-dampened hair, and rested his elbows on his knees. Maria sat down next to him and waited. Finally, he shook his head slightly, blew out a tremulous breath, and spoke.

"I screwed up again, didn't I?" He almost didn't recognize his own voice. It was small and almost whispered.

"Why do you feel that you screwed up, Luke?" Maria waited for him to answer.

"Because I yelled at Lorelai. Again! I freaked out Matthew. I was a total asshole to you. Do I really need to go on?" Luke rubbed his forehead, as a headache settled in right behind his eyes. "I want to help Matthew, I do, but I just can't stop screwin' things up. I'm so goddamn angry!"

"Why are you angry, Luke?" Maria gently prompted him to further explore his feelings.

"Why am I…? Stop tryin' to shrink my head, Maria! Just talk to me like normal, okay?" Luke sighed. He hated that he was so stressed that he flew off the handle at every little thing.

"I'm not trying to shrink your head, Luke," Maria replied, calmly. "I'm just helping you to explore some of your feelings so that you can find the answers for yourself."

"So, you're not going to give me the answers, or tell me what I should do?" Luke raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Why should I? You already know the answers. You just have to look inside yourself to find them," Maria said, smiling.

Luke processed Maria's words. Maybe he just wasn't cut out for this. Kids always annoyed him to no end. He didn't have the patience. He'd hoped things would be easier when he had kids of his own, and for a while it was pretty good, but this autism thing was kicking him in the ass. Before he knew it, he was spouting off a rant of epic proportions that would have made Lorelai's jaw drop in awe. The words poured forth like a volcanic eruption, spewing out the hot ash and molten lava of his anger and frustration.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Maria asked, when Luke finally took a breath.

"You wanted to know why I'm angry," Luke retorted. "Apparently, it's genetic. I come from a long line of impatient, angry men." Luke sighed and muttered under his breath, "Probably why I've always kept to myself. Lorelai used to call me a hermit." He smirked and gave a tiny shrug.

"Lorelai also says that you are one of the most supportive people she knows," Maria stated, giving Luke a pat on the knee. "She told me that you'd do anything for your family and friends. You're there to help. You call yourself a hermit, and yet you care about people. Why is that?"

Luke rubbed the three-day growth of scruff on his jaw and thought for a moment.

"I guess I've always felt a sense of responsibility. My mom died when I was a boy and I helped my dad with the hardware store. I felt I owed him. When he was sick, I took care of everything. Every time Liz has gotten into some kind of trouble, I was the one who bailed her out. Hell, I even took in my nephew, Jess, when she couldn't deal with him anymore! I've always been one to fix things—whether it was little things around Lorelai's house, or helping out my messed up sister. I was taught by my dad to help the people you care about. But I don't know how to fix this, and it pisses me off."

"Why do you have to fix anything?" Maria inquired gently.

Luke pondered the question, releasing a shuddering breath. "If I can't fix it, it means I've failed. Wouldn't be the first time. Like I said, maybe I'm just not cut out to be a father."

"Do you really believe that if you can't fix something then you have failed?"

Luke let the question roll around in his brain for a moment, as he tried to formulate an answer that wouldn't sound ridiculous. "I guess if I can't fix something it just means that I can't fix it." He cringed and shook his head. The words coming out of his mouth sounded stupid to him.

"And do you really feel that you're not cut out to be a father?" Maria inquired gently.

"Yes. No! No, I don't believe that," Luke stated firmly. "I've done a great job with my kids when they were babies. It scared the crap out of me, but I did it. I love my kids. I never knew I was capable of loving anyone so tiny and fragile. All those bodily functions grossed me out, but when I saw them smile for the first time none of that mattered."

"Tell me, Luke, what do you want? What it is that you really want?" Maria probed.

"I want to stop yelling at my wife and kids," Luke muttered. "I want everyone to be happy. I want to see Emmy grow up to be just as beautiful and strong a woman as her mom. I want…." His voice cracked with emotion, as he tried to force his wishes out for his son. "I want Matthew to stop beating himself and us up. I want to hear him laugh like he used to when he was a toddler. I want to hear him call me Daddy, as he runs into the diner from school, excited to tell me all about his day. I want to teach him to play ball and build things like my father taught me. I want my son back."

Luke swiped at the tears that were coursing down his cheeks in a vain effort to regain some control over his emotions. He hated feeling so raw and vulnerable. He was supposed to take care of his family and fix things. This was one thing he felt he couldn't repair and he felt helpless. Beneath all the anger and frustration was a deep sadness that gnawed at his gut and tore up his heart.

"Do you believe that you can't have what you want?" Maria pressed.

"I don't know," Luke replied brokenly. "It just seems like it won't ever happen."

"Do you believe that The Son-Rise Program can help Matthew?" Maria probed.

"A part of me thinks it's too good to be true, and I don't want to get my hopes up and have it fail like everything else we've tried." Luke sighed. "I guess I'm trying to be realistic. Maybe I _am_ a bit skeptical, but I _want_ it to work."

"What are your expectations for the program, Luke? What do you want to see as a result?" Maria inquired.

"I want it to work like it did for that kid in the movie," Luke shrugged. "Is that even possible? Do you really think Matthew can be cured of his autism?"

"I believe that Matthew can and will recover," Maria said, smiling. "I believe that he will show us the way, if we pay attention, and learn from him as we teach him. I understand how angry and overwhelmed you must be feeling, but I assure you there _is_ hope."

"When I saw Matthew out in the yard by himself I panicked," Luke acknowledged, remembering the earlier incident. "I'm sorry I went off on you. I didn't mean it. I was terrified that he would take off. He's done it so many times. I blew up at Lorelai when I should've made sure he was okay and then listened to her. I overreacted big time."

"Did you notice that Matthew had his boots on?" Maria queried softly.

"He did?" Luke's eyes widened in surprise, as Maria nodded with a big smile plastered on her face.

"That's what we were marveling at when you arrived," Maria replied. "Lorelai mentioned how she'd never seen him dress himself before, and yet he had his boots on. This is actually a huge deal. It shows that Matthew is intelligent and more aware of his surroundings that you thought. The goal of The Son-Rise Program is to gently guide him into making more choices for himself on his own terms. We want to celebrate his achievements, no matter how small."

"And then I come along and ruin the moment by being paranoid," Luke grumbled.

"You were just trying to protect him from the cold and keep him safe," Maria corrected. "Your intentions were good. And Matthew was only outside for a few minutes. We were about to bring him inside when you surprised us."

"You mean when I barged on the scene and flipped out like a freakin' lunatic," Luke said sheepishly. "How do I keep from overreacting like that over everything?"

"You'll learn," Maria said. "Just remember, Luke, that you and Lorelai are doing the best you can with Matthew. You love him and you both want him to be safe, healthy, and happy. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Or Lorelai, for that matter. We'll talk a lot more as we prepare for Matthew's Son-Rise sessions. For now, why don't you go inside and make peace with Lorelai. I'm sure she could use a hug right about now."

"That's if she'll even talk to me," Luke added, shaking his head. He stood up and placed his ball cap on his head. "I was gonna start working in here today, but I guess it'll have to wait. I think I've got some good ideas about how to set it up."

"Oh, good! What did you have in mind?" Maria glanced down at the list Luke pulled out of his back pocket.

Lorelai paced the bedroom, her arms wrapped around her body protectively. She walked over to the window and looked outside for the sixth time. This time she spotted Luke and Maria exiting the garage talking animatedly. She glanced over at Matthew who was sitting on the floor in the corner rocking listlessly. His eyes were glazed over from exhaustion. Lorelai entered the kitchen and closed the door to the bedroom, leaving Matthew to rock quietly. Luke and Maria came in the front door shaking the snow from their shoes.

"Thanks for leaving me to deal with Matthew again," Lorelai called out, obviously still irritated.

"Where's Sookie? I thought she was here," Luke responded, as he pulled off his boots.

"She had to go home to fix dinner for Jackson and the kids," Lorelai said, as she rounded the corner and leaned against the wall in the foyer, her arms crossed over her chest.

Luke noticed the fresh welts and scratches on her face. "What happened to…?"

"My face? Well, let's see…"

Lorelai launched into a rant about Matthew's tantrum and the severity of his agitation. Her arms gesticulated wildly, as her own agitation mounted. Luke looked over at Maria, searching for a clue as to how to respond. Maria smiled softly and gave a small nod, giving Luke the reassurance he needed. He crossed the foyer in three steps and wrapped his arms around the stunned Lorelai, effectively stopping her in mid rant. He held her tightly, caressing her hair, and rubbing her back. He could feel the tension melting from her body, as she sank into his embrace.

"I'm so sorry," Luke whispered in her ear. "I know I say that a lot, but I mean it. We're gonna do this, Lorelai, but you've got to bear with me. I'm gonna work real hard at managing my anger. I love you and I love our kids."

"I love you too," Lorelai choked out, as she pulled back. "Now go check on your son."

Luke brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs and kissed her tenderly. After Maria said her goodbyes, Luke went into Rory's old room and found Matthew curled up on the floor sound asleep. He squatted down and lifted the boy, holding his limp body to his chest. Luke rocked his son in his arms and kissed his tousled curls. Lorelai watched the tender moment, blinking back tears, as she locked eyes with Luke and smiled.


	22. Chapter 22

**Here it is! The long awaited chapter 22 of "A Mother's Love"! See, I haven't forgotten! Sorry it took me three years to update this story. So much has happened in my life, but I said that I would finish it and I intend to. I know it's short, but I am already beginning the next chapter which will show Matthew's first day in his new Son-Rise Playroom that Luke set up for him. But first they have to gather the volunteers! Enjoy! And please leave a review so I know if people are still interested in this story or not.**

A Mother's Love: Chapter 22

**And So It Begins…**

Lorelai sat fidgeting in her chair, every so often glancing around the room to see who showed up for the special town meeting she begged Taylor to hold. The dance studio was packed to near capacity and Lorelai found it hard to hold back the tears. These were her friends and neighbors and they showed up. Maybe there was hope after all.

She looked over at Luke and squeezed his hand. He nodded and gave her a small smile. She knew he was as nervous as she was. After all, they were about to ask for support from the very people who had shunned their autistic son. She hoped it was because of awkward helplessness and not indifference. Maybe once they understood Matthew's diagnosis they would feel more at ease.

Taylor Doose took a gavel and proceeded to call the meeting to order. He stood at the podium and rolled his eyes as the chattering crowd ignored him. He pounded the gavel again.

"For cryin' out loud, Taylor, we're not in court! Put that thing away," Luke snapped.

"I'm just trying to call this meeting to order," Taylor commented. "A meeting that was not previously approved by the town council I might add."

Patty stood up, walked over to the Selectman, and yanked the gavel from his hand. "I _am_ on the council, Taylor, and I also own this dance studio that we're meeting in, and you're giving me a major headache!"

"Yeah Taylor, enough with the bangin' already," Babette screeched. "Just tell us why we're here! And make it quick! I got a hot date with Ben and Jerry and my new giant flat screen TV."

"What? No Morey?" Lorelai turned around and inquired of her next door neighbor.

"He's got a gig in Manhattan and I got Apricot duty," Babette sighed. "Poor baby! She's been yakkin' up hairballs all day."

"Not to discount the severity of your cat's hairballs, Babette, but we have more pressing matters at hand," Taylor stated. "Now, as you all know, we called this unscheduled town meeting at the request of two of Stars Hollows' long time residents. They have an issue they'd like to discuss with you all pertaining to their son, who, by the way, managed to completely decimate a display of canned peas on aisle six in my store last week."

"He ripped pages out of two books in my shop," Andrew stated with annoyance.

"And I then paid for the books," Lorelai added, becoming irritated herself.

"He pinched my kid the other day in _your_ diner, Luke," another man shouted, pointing his finger at Luke. "You need to discipline that boy!"

A melee broke out with everyone pointing and accusing. Luke and Lorelai were stunned that their own neighbors were attacking them and their parenting. Lorelai locked eyes on Maria in a silent plea for help, feeling utterly defeated. Maria nodded, gave a reassuring smile, and took the podium. She pounded the gavel until the room silenced. Once everyone was seated, she motioned for Luke and Lorelai to join her. Luke's face was still flushed with anger as he removed his ball cap and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair.

"We didn't come here to fight," Maria began. "I'm not sure you all have any idea what is going on in the Danes family and just how difficult a time they are having. For those of you who don't know me I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Maria Truesdale and I am a friend of Luke and Lorelai. I am also a Certified Son-Rise Program Teacher and Option Process Mentor. Their son Matthew has autism which explains his behaviors."

Lorelai listened as Maria explained what autism is and how it affects Matthew. Her eyes wandered around the room, glancing into the faces of her friends and neighbors. Faces who had only minutes ago been overcome with anger now softened to understanding, some eyes even filling with remorseful tears. It was as if a light had been turned on and that light dispelled the anger of misunderstanding. Lorelai could feel the sympathy and compassion from those changed hearts. She took Luke's hand in hers and looked down at the floor, her ragged exhale conveying the relief she felt. Two fat tears slid down her cheeks as she was suddenly caught up in a rush of embraces from her friends and neighbors.

"We had no idea what you were going through," Patty exclaimed as she crushed Lorelai between her ample breasts. "We just thought he has some behavior issues and trouble talking."

"Well, he does have behaviors," Lorelai gasped, pulling herself free from Patty's hug. "It's the only way he has to communicate with us right now. I understand that now. "

"Honey, I always said I would help you and Luke out with Matthew," Sookie stated, giving her best friend a squeeze. "I just didn't know how and you were just so overwhelmed with everything."

"We appreciate everything you _have_ done Sookie, especially helping taking Emmy so Lorelai could deal with Matthew," Luke replied, "but now we need you all."

"What can we do to help, Sugar?" Babette implored while patting Lorelai's hand.

"We need volunteers for a program we are about to start with Matthew," Lorelai explained. "Maria will go over the Son-Rise Program and how it will help Matthew."

Everyone took their seats as Maria discussed the details of the Son-Rise Program and the now completed playroom. She spoke of the qualities needed to volunteer to work one on one with Matthew in his playroom in shifts to cover his waking hours from rising to bedtime. Each volunteer needed to be loving, accepting, non-judgmental, and full of energy, excitement and enthusiasm. The volunteers would be trained by Maria to work the Son-Rise Program with Matthew and there would be weekly meetings to discuss his progress.

"The goal is to allow Matthew to take charge," Maria reiterated. "Each volunteer will start by just being present with Matthew, joining in on the activities he chooses to do without judging them as right or wrong. We want to celebrate Matthew as the child he is while encouraging him to learn to communicate his wants appropriately. I believe that as Matthew begins to feel comfortable in his environment the aggressive behaviors will decrease and hopefully stop. Right now Matthew can't process the world around him. It doesn't make sense and he feels overwhelmed by everything. We need to create a safe place for him to explore and grow and that's why we have the playroom."

Kirk raised his hand. "I can be very enthusiastic and I have lots of energy. I want to volunteer."

"Me too," Lulu chimed in. "I have plenty of experience working with children and I've always wanted to work with children with special needs. I could do a shift after school lets out."

"I don't know nothing about kids," Gypsy shrugged, "but I could help out somehow."

"Any assistance would be appreciated," Maria said, smiling. "Now I know some of you are thinking that you don't have the slightest clue of how to work with a child with autism, but I assure you that if you have a loving heart you can learn and the experience will change you for the better. I know it changed me. Now if I could get your names and times available we will set up training and begin."

"We want to thank everyone for understanding and being willing to help us out," Lorelai said, leaning into Luke.

"Yeah, it means a lot to us to know that people care," Luke added. "I may be the biggest ass around but I am really trying to understand my son and help him come back to us. I miss him."

Luke couldn't continue because the lump in his throat prevented him from saying anymore. Lorelai could see the way he worked his jaw and knew he was fighting his emotions. She knew his rapid blinking hid the tears and the fear in his eyes. She knew him all too well. He would never want to appear weak in front of the whole town. And his friends and neighbors knew it because those previously judging eyes welled with tears yet again. For a moment no one said a word.

"I miss him too," Lorelai whispered, too choked up to say more. She still had that familiar ache in her chest but this time it wasn't accompanied by a gnawing fear. This was more of a warmth that spread throughout her whole body, a feeling of hope and love. A huge smile spread across her face as the room filled with the familiar cacophony of chatter among her friends and neighbors. They asked rapid fire questions and Maria answered them just as quickly.

Later that night Lorelai opened the door to the twins' room to check on them before heading to bed. She was exhausted yet wound up from the night's excitement. She couldn't wait to get home to fill Rory in on the meeting details. Maria would be coming first thing in the morning to begin training her and Luke in the playroom. She would spend most of the day with Matthew and Luke would begin his playroom session when he came home from the diner.

Lorelai's eyes adjusted to the dim glow of the nightlight. She glanced over and spotted Emmy sleeping peacefully, curled up with her beloved stuffed lizard, Mr. Wiggles. She padded softly over to the bed and tucked the covers around her little girl. Emmy stirred, yawning and blinking, but then settled back into slumber. Lorelai kissed her pink cheek and tucked a silky honey brown curl behind her baby girl's ear.

Emmy was growing up so fast and Lorelai knew the child would have so much to offer in the playroom. Emmy loved her twin and was ecstatic about being able to help him find his way back. Lorelai couldn't help but smile at the thought of Emmy rocking and flapping with Matthew as if it was the best game ever. She was such a loving and energetic child that Lorelai felt the Son-Rise Program was created just for her. What a wonderful teacher she would be! Yes, if anyone could guide Matthew back to the family it would be Emmy.

Lorelai walked over to the other bed and was surprised to find Matthew sitting up, silently rocking and clutching his blanky. She didn't want to disturb him, lest he became agitated and wake his sister. She gently sat down on the bed and observed him for a moment. The rocking was actually very relaxing. She found herself rocking with him. What did Maria call it? Joining? She remembered what Maria told her: don't judge, just be with him. So she rocked with the same pace as her son. Back and forth, she rocked, bunching another of Matthew's blankets in her hands just the way he did. When Matthew flapped his fingers in front of his face Lorelai flapped hers in front of her face. After a few minutes, Matthew slumped over onto his pillow, clutched his blanky under his chin and closed his eyes. Lorelai tucked him in, kissed the top of his head and left the room.

When Lorelai returned to her bedroom Luke was already in bed. She quickly went about her nightly routine and climbed into bed to join him. He rolled over, sensing her presence, and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. His whiskers tickled her face as he snuggled into her. She sighed and breathed in his scent, feeling more relaxed than she'd felt in a long time. Tomorrow they would begin a new journey with Matthew, one more challenging than they could ever imagine and yet filled with endless possibilities.

"Luke?" Lorelai whispered into her sleepy husband's ear. "Are you asleep?"

"Yes," Luke mumbled, stifling a yawn.

"If you were asleep you wouldn't have answered me," Lorelai stated.

"Ask a stupid question…," Luke trailed off and Lorelai slugged him on the upper arm. "Ow!"

"Smart ass," Lorelai smirked, rolling her eyes.

"If I _was _asleep, I'm not now," Luke groaned while rubbing his arm. "Now that you've got my attention, what is so pressing that it can't wait till morning?"

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep," Lorelai stated, rubbing the soft cotton of Luke's t-shirt.

"So your goal is to make sure no one else does?" Luke ran his fingers through his hair.

"Aren't you excited about tomorrow? I can't turn my brain off," Lorelai remarked.

"That's the three pots of coffee you had tonight," Luke groused. "Maria prepared us for the playroom. You're gonna do great. If anyone should be worried it's me. You're so much better with the playful enthusiasm. You're like a big kid. Me; I'm more of a bull in a china shop. Every time I turn around I cause more destruction."

"That's not true," Lorelai exclaimed, lifting her head to look him in the eyes. "You're great with the kids. You've just got to let go and relax and just let Matthew lead the way. Right now we're supposed to just join him in doing whatever he does. We can do this, Luke. I know we can!"

"Well neither of us is going to be able to function if we don't get any sleep," Luke said, tucking a strand of hair behind Lorelai's ear.

"Make sure I'm awake when you get up," Lorelai announced, as she settled back down into her pillow. "I want to make sure I'm ready for Matthew as soon as he wakes up."

"I'll get Emmy ready for school and drop her off so you can deal with Matthew," Luke offered.

"Thanks," Lorelai said, leaning over to plant a kiss on Luke's scruffy cheek.

"I want a _real _kiss," Luke replied, pulling his wife into his arms and locking lips with her. "Now if I don't get some sleep I'm gonna be extra grumpy in the morning."

"Well I can't have my favorite diner man being extra grumpy or he may forget to supply me with never ending coffee to get through the day," Lorelai giggled. "And I am so going to need that coffee tomorrow!"

"I'll set up the pot to brew before I leave for work so you and Maria will be plenty energetic," Luke said with a smile.

"I'll be energetic," Lorelai chuckled, "Maria might be bouncing off the walls! She's not used to drinking the rocket fuel that I am so accustomed to."

"Well, in that case I'll go easy on the grounds," Luke nodded.

"Gah! No way, mister! You will not compromise my caffeine rush for an amateur," Lorelai gasped. "I'll just add some extra hot water in hers to dilute the strength. That's what I always do."

"I really need to get some sleep, Lorelai," Luke yawned. He pulled her in for one last kiss and then cuddled up behind her.

"Night, babe," Lorelai whispered, as she settled into Luke's embrace.

She lay there for a long time listening to the sound of Luke's breathing. The occasional snore punctuated the stillness of the darkened room causing Lorelai to stifle a giggle. She felt so comfortable and secure in Luke's arms and yet she still couldn't turn off her brain. All she could think about was beginning the Son-Rise Program with Matthew and hoping for a miracle. Eventually in the soothing rhythm of Luke's breathing and the gentle rise and fall of his chest, Lorelai succumbed to the exhaustion and fell asleep.


	23. Chapter 23

**Wow! It didn't take me three years to write this chapter! The story is going to move along now so start the Happy Dance! Please leave a review cause it really makes my day and fuels my writing.**

**Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino et al. I own only the characters I create. The Son-Rise Program was created by Barry Neil Kaufman and Samahria Lyte Kaufman, founders of The Option Institute and the Autism Treatment Center Of America, and are used with permission. This is a work of fiction based on real principles and is for entertainment purposes only. **

"**A Mother's Love": chapter 23**

**Joining**

Lorelai's head was spinning. After a hectic morning of listening to Maria going over how Matthew's day would begin and consuming her first pot of coffee, she nervously waited for the telltale sounds that Matthew was awake. When she heard the familiar thumping of the headboard against the wall she knew he was rocking, as he did every morning until she or Luke came to get him. Luke had taken Emmy to school and it was time to begin.

She climbed the stairs, entered the twins' bedroom and greeted Matthew. She went about her usual morning routine with him, changing his diaper and putting on a fresh one piece outfit which she zipped up the back. She put socks on his feet since it was cold and he would at least keep them on his feet longer. During the routine Matthew silently stared into space and flapped his fingers near his eyes. Lorelai kept up a constant stream of chatter with Matthew even if he didn't acknowledge her existence.

Once downstairs, Lorelai fed her son watching how he ate with rapt attention. Maria told her to notice everything her boy did and how he did it. Maria sat nearby smiling reassuringly at Lorelai and Matthew ignored both women as if they didn't exist. Lorelai watched as Matthew gingerly picked up a piece of fruit in his fingers, brought it to his mouth and licked it. He licked all the juice off the piece of melon and then popped it into his mouth, rocking side to side contently as he chewed.

"I want you to take notes Lorelai," Maria said softly so as not to startle Matthew. "The key to joining is not to just do as Matthew does but to put your whole heart into it. Join him in his world with the same intensity, being a mirror of his actions. Be with him, Lorelai. We want to show Matthew that our world can be fun and exciting and that we accept him unconditionally, no matter what he does. Don't judge his behaviors and actions as right or wrong, just be with him in his little world."

"Okay, I can do this," Lorelai said, more as a way to soothe her own nervous expectations than to show confidence. Maria picked up on her anxiety.

"I know you can, Lorelai," Maria soothed, placing a hand on top of Lorelai's. "You have just the personality to make Matthew's Son-Rise Program a success. Now take some fruit and mirror his actions exactly as he does, every movement, every sound."

"Really? I have to actually eat fruit?" Lorelai shuddered and Maria laughed.

"I promise it won't kill you," she replied, smiling. "The key is to enjoy that fruit as much as Matthew does. Make a game of it. Encourage eye contact with him."

"How about I concentrate on eating the fruit without gagging," Lorelai stated, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

Maria giggled again. "As long as you lovingly not gag on that fruit…"

Lorelai knew that meals would be a big part of the playroom sessions and that Matthew would be eating them all in the distraction-free playroom. This was more of an experiment for her under Maria's guidance. Lorelai also knew that the nanny cam Luke installed in the playroom would be recording each day's events to be played back and used for feedback from Maria. This is how they would all learn to be loving volunteers and how they would observe the growth in their son. She and Luke would go over each day's progress and Maria would meet with the entire volunteer team weekly.

Lorelai watched closely as Matthew picked up another piece of melon. She picked a piece from her bowl and licked it exactly as he did. She then popped it into her mouth and chewed with the same thoughtful expression on her face as she rocked side to side. She followed his movements exactly as if she was his reflection in a mirror. When Matthew delicately picked up a piece of scrambled egg between two fingers in a pincher grasp, licked it as if tasting it for the first time, and then popped it into his mouth, Lorelai followed suit.

"You're doing great, Lorelai," Maria said, jotting down some notes in a small notebook. "Once Matthew is finished with his breakfast we'll head out to introduce him to the playroom."

"He still won't look at me," Lorelai sighed.

"Remember: no expectations," Maria reiterated. "Give him time. When he's ready, he'll let us know. Right now the important thing is to let Matthew know how much he is loved and accepted. By joining him in the activities he loves, it shows him that you accept him as he is without trying to change him."

"But we want him to change," Lorelai stated. "Isn't that the point? We want Matthew to be normal like other kids."

"And if he isn't?" Maria queried. "Would you love him any less?"

"Of course not! I want him to be happy," Lorelai remarked as she grabbed a washcloth to clean up her son.

"If Matthew never spoke a word or became 'normal'," Maria posed with air quotes, "would you love him any less than you do now?"

Again, Lorelai let the query roll around in her mind. "I'll always love my son. I just want so much for him. I want him to have a great life like his sister. If he never became like other kids I'd feel pretty upset, like I failed him somehow."

"I know that raising a child with autism can be draining and exhausting, but it's also such a wonderful gift," Maria said, giving Lorelai's hand a squeeze. "You have the opportunity to grow with your son and to learn to love unconditionally. Let Matthew guide you. He's one amazing little boy. Listen to what he says through his actions and emotions. He's speaking his wants and needs very clearly, but no one seems to understand him. I will work with you and Luke to help you understand your son and to help you let go of your own fears. Now let's introduce Matthew to his new playroom."

Lorelai helped Matthew into his coat and shoes and then donned her own outerwear. She took Matthew's hand and led him outside to the now converted garage. Luke had built a wall at the entrance to serve as a gallery for volunteers to view Matthew's progress through a two way mirror. He wouldn't be distracted by their presence. It would also be a training method for Maria who would use Lorelai's playroom sessions to teach the volunteers.

"Now remember, Lorelai, this is all new to Matthew," Maria explained. "Let him explore and join him. If he is anxious and 'isms' you join him in that. If he rocks, you rock. If he flaps his fingers, you flap yours. Let him know that he is okay where he is and if he isn't ready to join our world, you will join him in his. Love him without judging what he is doing."

Once inside, Lorelai removed Matthew's coat and shoes and hung them on the wall pegs next to her own. She then opened the door to the main room and let Matthew enter first. She watched silently as he walked around taking in his surroundings. The floor was a soft padded material that was smooth and yet cushioned for playing on. There was a little table with two chairs in one corner and along one wall were bookcases filled with books and toys and shelves up high filled with more toys. On another wall was a mirror and there was a toy box with balls and large toys. The room was sparsely furnished and the walls were free from distracting colors or decorations.

"Look Matty," Lorelai exclaimed with glee. "It's your new playroom! Anything you want to do in here is okay. You're the boss in here little man."

Matthew began to trot around the room, flapping his arms. He didn't appear to be agitated. Maybe he was enjoying himself. Lorelai knew that when Matthew's movements were more energetic that he was either going to have a meltdown or was content and happy. Since he wasn't tugging at his ears but rather skipping and hopping, she figured a tantrum was not forthcoming. The room was quiet except for the sounds of Matthew trotting around in circles with a serene look on his face. Lorelai observed him for a few moments, taking in the nuances of his movements. She caught a glimpse of Maria who was silently watching the action from the corner of the room, a warm smile on her face.

Maria nodded in Matthew's direction. "Join him in his exploration. And remember to have fun!"

Lorelai skipped along with Matthew at the same pace, flapping her arms. When Matthew began to jump up and down while flapping his hands near his face Lorelai did the same. After about an hour Matthew began to notice something was different. He glanced in Lorelai's direction without actually looking at her. A smile spread across his flushed little cheeks and he squealed and clapped his hands. Lorelai squealed and clapped her hands too with the same enthusiasm.

"Ee oh! Ee oh! Ee oh!" Matthew began his familiar vocalizations, chanting over and over and he trotted around the room.

"Ee oh! Ee oh! Ee oh!" Lorelai intoned in the same pitch as her son. She was actually beginning to enjoy herself and relax. She felt energized and less nervous. Hours passed with Matthew alternatively skipping, hopping, jumping and flapping in circles and Lorelai right beside him following every action and vocalization perfectly.

Suddenly Matthew stopped and Lorelai almost crashed into him. He stood staring at the door and smacking his lips together. He walked over to the door and tugged on the knob but it wouldn't open. He began to rock back and forth while smacking his lips together. Lorelai stood next to him in front of the door and rocked as he did, smacking her lips together. Something puzzled her. Was he trying to communicate with her?

"Read his body language, Lorelai," Maria said softly from the corner. "What is Matthew trying to say to you?"

Lorelai looked at her watch. It was well past lunch time. "He's hungry! That's it! He's hungry and probably thirsty. I know I am. Matty, do you want to eat?"

Matthew responded by tugging on the door knob again. He definitely wanted something. Lorelai opened the door to the little viewing gallery. She helped Matthew into his coat, pulled on her own coat and shoes and carried her little boy into the house, without even bothering to put on his shoes. She was so excited about starting in the playroom that she forgot to pack his lunch and snacks for the day. She prepared his favorite foods and set them in front of him. Matthew sat at the table and rocked as he ate. Lorelai rocked along with him as she ate her own lunch.

Lorelai continued in the playroom after lunch, delighting in Matthew's surprisingly good mood. When Luke brought Emmy home from school Lorelai sat in the gallery while she joined her brother in the playroom. Maria gave the little girl instruction on how to join her brother, doing just as he did. Emmy thought it was the best game, and Luke and Lorelai could see Maria's huge smile as Emmy spun in circles with Matthew, flapping her arms up near her face. When Matthew squealed Emmy squealed. She had an amazing knack for mimicking her brother's sounds and actions precisely. It was a game they used to play as toddlers before autism took her brother away from her.

Matthew walked over to the shelves of books and pulled one out. Emmy pulled another book. She watched as he fanned the book in front of his face. She fanned hers in front of her own face and giggled as the breeze it created rumpled her curls.

"Look Matty! It's a fan," Emmy giggled while continuing to flap her book. "See! It's a fan!" Matthew stopped flapping his book for a moment and watched intently as Emmy flapped hers in front of her face. She stopped and waited for his next move. Matthew suddenly lifted his gaze and met Emmy's eyes. The little girl gasped. "You're looking at me!" As quick as a flash, the moment was over.

Matthew looked down at the book in his little hands and began to rub the smooth surface while rocking side to side. Emmy frowned at losing her brother to that autism thing again, but she remembered Maria saying that Matthew can't help it. He doesn't mean to ignore her or bite her. He just doesn't know how to tell us what's wrong. Emmy started to rub the surface of her own book exactly as Matthew did. He would come back to her. She knew it in her heart. Her twin would come back and play with her like he did when they were little. She would wait for him until he was ready.

Lorelai watched the scene unfold from behind the two way mirror and grabbed Luke's arm.

"Did you see that? Luke, he looked right at Emmy! Matthew made eye contact," Lorelai exclaimed. "Oh my God! I've been working with him all day and Emmy comes in and in less than a half hour she's got him making eye contact!"

"Yeah, he actually seems to be relaxed," Luke noted. "I thought he'd kinda flip out at all the newness. You know how much he hates change."

"Maybe it's because I put a lot of his books and toys in here along with the new ones," Lorelai remarked while gazing through the two-way glass at her little ones.

"It's my turn in the playroom next," Luke said, rubbing his hands on his pants. "What if I do it wrong?"

"No one will be judging you, Luke," came a voice from the doorway. Maria slipped out of the playroom and into the gallery. She closed the door behind her, as Matthew and Emmy continued their book exploration in the background. "You see Emmy? She's a perfect Son-Rise Program volunteer. She is completely in the moment with him, one hundred percent present. She's not worried about what people are thinking or _could_ think about her. She's just doing as her brother does and to her it's such a wonderful game! She's having fun while being mindful."

Luke removed his ball cap and ran his fingers through his hair. "I guess I'm just feeling self-conscious."

"Lorelai, how did _you _feel when you were in the playroom with Matthew?" Maria inquired.

"I was nervous at first, but then I just did what you said and I put all my thoughts on hold and just joined Matthew," Lorelai said. "It felt awkward at first but then I started having fun with it. Every time Matthew did something different I followed him exactly. After a while, I felt really relaxed! It was just me and Matty, doing what he likes to do."

"So Luke I want you to focus on just that," Maria began. "I want you to do as your son does until you begin to feel that inner calm Lorelai mentioned."

"You know, Maria, watching Matthew, it looked like he was experiencing that same calm. He looked so serene. Do you think that's why he 'isms' like that, because it makes him feel _calm _in a world that is so overwhelming for him?" Lorelai thoughtfully posed while watching her children rock and rub their hands over their books.

"Matthew's repetitive movements do serve as a self-soothing mechanism for him," Maria answered. "So by joining him in his 'isms' we are telling him without words that we accept him unconditionally and he is just fine the way he is. When he's ready, I believe that Matthew will initiate communication just like he did as a toddler. Now Luke, get ready to relieve Emmy."

"What about dinner?" Luke inquired, stalling. "Remember; Lorelai doesn't cook."

Maria laughed. "Yes, I know, but I do. I want to observe you for a while and then I'll fix dinner."

"Wow, Maria, you do it all, don't you?" Lorelai said, smiling. "You don't have to cook for us too you know. I can order us some food for delivery."

"I refuse to eat the crap you like to order," Luke grunted, shaking his head. "Why do you think _I _do all the cooking? Besides, we're _all _trying to eat healthier, remember? I want to see if it makes a difference in Matthew's autism."

"Many people believe that eating a diet free of processed foods, excess sugar and grains makes a huge improvement in many health conditions," Maria added with a nod. "Luke is on the right track."

"Okay, then while Luke is in the playroom I'll call up Sookie and have her bring over some healthy dinners from the Dragonfly," Lorelai replied, pulling out her cell phone. "This way Maria can keep an eye on you in case you freak out with all the rocking and flapping."

"I will not freak out, Lorelai," Luke snapped while giving her an eye roll.

"Are you sure it isn't going to be an inconvenience to Sookie?" Maria asked.

"Are you kidding? She was begging me to come over after work tonight anyway," Lorelai exclaimed. "She can't wait to volunteer with Matty!"

"She's got more excitement, energy and enthusiasm than many people I know," Maria stated with a laugh. "She's going to be amazing when it comes to playing pretend games!"

Emmy loves when Aunt Sookie babysits her," Lorelai added. "I'm just glad that the playroom is _padded_! She's my best friend, and I love her to death, but man is that woman a klutz!"

Lorelai and Maria shared a good laugh and then Lorelai headed back to the house to call Sookie, leaving Luke to join Matthew in the playroom. He removed his clunky boots and padded into the room. Matthew had tossed the book aside and was now standing with one leg forward of the other. He rocked from his back leg to his front leg, alternatingly lifting the non-weight bearing leg. His movements were fluid and Emmy stood right next to him rocking along in the same manner exactly as her brother.

"Hi, Daddy!" Emmy ran into her father's arms as soon as she spotted him. "Are you going to play with Matty too? We're having so much fun! I do what he does, just like Mommy said to do."

"Yes, 'Pea I _am _gonna play with Matty," Luke confirmed to his little girl. "Why don't you go wait in the house with Mommy? Aunt Sookie is going to bring over some dinner."

"Okay, Daddy," Emmy said. She kissed him on the cheek and skipped across the room and out the door.

Luke was now alone with his son. He inhaled deeply and then blew out the breath slowly, as he observed Matthew's actions. The boy had that dreamy look on his face again, as he walked in circles rocking side to side. Luke silently came up next to him and followed him around the room, moving just as he did. He felt ridiculous at first, but realized that if he wanted to bond with his boy then he needed to be where Matthew felt most comfortable.

Matthew seemed to be aware of his father's presence. He didn't look directly at him, but rather out of the corner of his eye. He began jumping up and down while flapping his hands in front of his face. Luke remembered the three "E"s that were needed to be successful in the Son-Rise Program: _energy, excitement, and enthusiasm._ He needed to not mimic his boy, but to truly _join _him with the same excitement Matthew showed. _Just let go of all judgments and expectations_ _and be present with him, _Maria had said.

Matthew looked so content, so happy in that moment and Luke wanted to be a part of that. _I can do this. I can be four years old and have fun. No judgments. It's just you and me, Buddy. I love you so much! _Luke began to jump up and down next to Matthew. He flapped his hands in front of his face. When Matthew squealed in excitement, Luke followed in as close a pitch to his boy's as he could. When Matthew galloped around the room, Luke followed, shortening the pace of his long legs. He thought about nothing except following his son, doing what Matthew did. For the first time, Luke felt connected to his boy.

Lorelai opened the door to allow Sookie to enter the house, her arms laden with bags. "Seriously? Sookie, you know there isn't an army here to feed, just us."

"Well, I figured that you guys would be so busy setting up Matthew's playroom routine for the next few days that you wouldn't have time to cook," Sookie said, dropping bags of food on the kitchen table. "Where's Luke?"

"He's in the playroom with Matty," Lorelai replied as she rummaged through the bags.

"Oh my God!" Sookie exclaimed, nearly flinging a tossed salad into the air. "This I have to see!"

The three women entered the gallery and peered through the two way mirror. There was Matthew skipping around the room, flapping his hands and squealing and right next to him was Luke skipping and flapping in tandem, a huge smile on his face. Lorelai gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Two fat tears rolled down her cheeks and over the corners of her beaming smile. He was doing it! Luke was joining and completely in the moment with his boy and her heart nearly broke with joy!


	24. Chapter 24

**Well at least it didn't take me three years to update! Lol! Here's the next chapter. There will probably be one more and then an epilogue which will set up my next story, "A Mother's Legacy". Enjoy! And please review.**

**Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls is owned by Amy Sherman Palladino et al. I own only the characters I create. The Son-Rise Program and The Option Process were created by Barry Neil Kaufman and Samahria Lyte Kaufman, founders of The Option Institute and the Autism Treatment Center Of America and are used with permission. This is a work of fiction based on real principles and is for entertainment only.  
**

**A** **Mother's Love: Chapter 24**

**It's all about the attitude, baby!**

_Luke rolled around the floor next to Matthew and then wriggled his body the way Matthew did. "I'm a wriggly fish in the water, Matty! I see you wriggling! Are you a little fishy Matthew?" Luke animatedly chatted with his boy, not expecting an answer from the giggling youngster wriggling around on the floor._

"_No!" The word startled Luke into silence. It was the first word he'd heard out of his son's mouth in two years! _

"_No! No? If you're not a fishy, what are you, buddy?" Luke exclaimed, engaging his son further. He faced his boy on the floor, as they lie on their stomachs, and grinned wide as Matthew made eye contact with him._

"_No fishy! Scooby Doo!" Matthew squealed with glee, as Luke rushed him and began tickling his belly._

"_Scooby Doo," Luke exclaimed with a big belly laugh. "Then I'm Shaggy and I'm gonna scratch my buddy's tummy!" Matthew's laughter filled the room as Luke pretended to scratch his boy's belly._

Maria pressed pause on the DVD player. Everyone in the room applauded. It had been weeks of playroom sessions and they were now reviewing Matthew's huge breakthrough. The couches and chairs were filled with volunteers: Rory, Logan, Emmy, Sookie and Jackson, Kirk and Lulu, Babette, Patty, Gypsy, Lane and Zack as well as Brian and Gil from the band. Emily and Richard sat next to Luke and Lorelai and the children all sat on the floor. Even the youngest volunteers had so much to give to Matthew.

"Luke, you absolutely deserve this applause," Maria said, beaming. "That was quite an accomplishment!"

"I really wanted to hug him, but I didn't want to freak him out," Luke said.

"Hon, the fact that Matty _spoke_ for the first time in so long was _amazing,_" Lorelai exclaimed, giving her man a squeeze.

"Luke, you've come a long way from the uptight, short tempered man who wasn't sure he could even be in the same room with his boy without exploding to this loving, accepting dad," Maria stated.

"Yeah, well, if you hadn't dialoged with me so much I'd probably be still afraid of screwing up," Luke replied, shaking his head. "You were so patient with me. You taught me how to really love my son and accept him. I don't feel like a failure anymore."

Lorelai's eyes misted over and she leaned over and kissed her husband on the cheek. "Like Maria said; it's all about the attitude, baby! You've grown as much as Matthew. I know _I _have. You've all been so amazing with Matthew."

"So now that we've reviewed the highlights of Matthew's week, who would like to tell me what they've noticed that was different about Matthew this week?" Maria inquired of the assembled group.

"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!" Sookie threw up her hand, accidentally elbowing Jackson in the nose.

"Watch it, Horshack," Jackson grunted, checking his nose for blood. "I'd like to keep the nose intact, at least for the rest of the night."

"Sorry," Sookie giggled. She handed him a handkerchief that she pulled out of her sleeve like a magician.

"Whoa! You do magic too? Man I should hire you for my kid's birthday," Gil marveled, giving Sookie a thumb up.

Sookie giggled again. "No magic. I just like to keep supplies on hand in case of an emergency. You know…bandages, splints…I can make a mean tourniquet with a bandana and a couple of forks!"

"Your creativity will definitely be an asset in the playroom, Sookie," Maria stated with a laugh. "So you noticed something different with Matthew this week?"

"Ooh! Yes!" Sookie clapped her hands together. "He is making so much more eye contact! And not just eye contact. He's much happier. He laughs at me every time I trip over my feet or fall off my tiny chair."

"Who doesn't," Lorelai chuckled, blowing her best friend a kiss across the room. "That's why you are so awesome, Sook! You may be klutzy, but you've got such a big heart and you make people laugh. Don't you remember how Matty used to laugh at your antics when he was a toddler? I've noticed much less tantruming too. He definitely seems calmer."

"Maybe it's me," Kirk began thoughtfully, "but he seems to be doing less rocking and flapping. Or maybe I'm doing _more _rocking and flapping and it looks like Matthew's doing less."

"Well, let's see," Maria replied, changing the DVD in the player and pushing 'play'.

"Oh, this should be good!" Babette screeched, giving Patty an elbow to the ribs.

"I know, right?" Patty laughed as she grabbed her side.

_Kirk skipped around the playroom, following Matthew's lead. The boy flapped his arms like wings, aware of the strange man in his peripheral vision. Matthew stopped and so did Kirk. Matthew walked on his toes over to the shelves that were just out of his reach on the wall. He jumped up and down in front of them. Kirk began to bounce like a jumping bean next to Matthew._

"_I can jump too, Matthew! You want to jump? Let's jump like kangaroos!" Kirk placed his hands in front of his chest like a kangaroo and jumped even higher. He slammed his head on the top shelf causing it to come crashing down along with every toy and game on it. Matthew stopped jumping and stood completely still, his mouth open and eyes wide. He put his hands over his ears, but didn't slap at them. He just stood there watching Kirk scramble to pick up the mess he'd made. When Kirk slipped on a Dr. Seuss book and landed flat on his back, the boy did something no one could have predicted. He walked over to Kirk, grabbed the man's hand and tried to pull him up off the ground._

_Kirk stood up; holding on to Matthew's little hand. The boy led him to the table and sat down. He began rubbing the surface of Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham, once again pulled into himself. Kirk rubbed the top of his head where a large bump was rising._

"_Okay, if you want to sit and rub a book, I can do that too," Kirk said, rubbing the book in his hands._

_Matthew stopped rubbing his book and handed it to Kirk. He said nothing, but smiled at the man sitting across the table from him. When Kirk realized that Matthew was making sustained eye contact he literally fell backward off his chair! Matthew suddenly burst out laughing and purposely fell to the floor. He crawled over to where Kirk lay and patted the book in the man's hand._

"_You want me to read it to you?" Kirk sat up and Matthew sat on the floor next to him. He opened the book and began to read. "I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham." Matthew rocked as he listened, a small smile on his face._

Maria stopped the DVD. "So what can you tell me about Kirk's session with Matthew?"

"He's a bigger klutz than Sookie!" Babette snorted and burst out laughing.

"And you thought that crash was Joe Noonan falling off his roof again," Patty laughed.

"He's been fixing that roof for a _month_! And he fell off the roof onto his shed _twice_!" The two women doubled over with laughter.

"I'd hate to cut into your merriment ladies, but I believe Maria asked an important question," Richard called out from his perch on the couch.

"Well, I noticed that Matthew didn't start hitting himself when he was startled by the crashing shelves," Rory pointed out.

"He seemed to be much more aware of what was going on around him," Emily said, nodding. "He wasn't completely tuned out to the world."

"He initiated interaction with Kirk," Lulu piped in proudly. "He took Kirk's hand and communicated his desires. He actually wanted Kirk to read to him. I've been noticing much more that Matthew is reaching out to us."

"The Son-Rise Program is all about allowing the child to be himself in a safe environment," Maria explained. "When Matthew feels accepted, he can then choose to make interactions with us. We don't force him to do what we want him to do, but rather give him the choice to reach out to us. We want to show him how interesting and exciting our world is and that we love and accept him whatever his choices are."

"I'm beginning to see my sweet boy return," Lorelai noted. "When he was a toddler, Matthew was such a happy little guy and had so much love for others."

"He was such an affectionate little boy, always giving hugs and kisses," Rory added.

Emmy bounced up and down in her seat, eager to share her observations. "And when I was sad Matty would give me hugs and when I fell down he would kiss my boo boos like Mommy would!"

"So I think we can all agree that these changes in Matthew have been pretty profound," Maria stated. "Everyone is doing such a wonderful job with Matthew in the playroom. He is making much more sustained eye contact, is more relaxed, and is tantrumming much less. He is initiating communication and has begun to use words."

"So to refresh everyone, especially the kids working with Matthew, how do we continue to encourage him to use those words?" Rory asked, taking copious notes during the meeting. She liked to keep a journal of Matthew's progress, as she was planning to write a book about her little brother's journey.

"Well, let me show you a great example," Maria began, "and you will see exactly what I'm talking about." She changed the DVD yet again and pressed 'play'.

_Emily Gilmore was beginning to get frustrated. She knew that Matthew was picking up on her frustration because the child seemed tense and rocked with greater intensity. She sat next to him and rocked. He kept his eyes focused on the opposite wall. Matthew locked eyes with her and then brought his focus back to the wall. Emily was sure he wanted something, but she remembered he couldn't communicate his wants yet._

"_What do you see, Matthew?" Emily engaged her grandson, hoping to discern his desire. "Is there something you want over there?"_

_Matthew stopped rocking, got up from his chair, and walked over to the other side of the room._

"_Do you want something from off the shelf?" Emily inquired of the boy. "I see you looking at the shelves." She remembered that the goal was to interact with Matthew and give him opportunities to communicate. She knew that the reason he had tantrums was to get his needs met in the only way he knew how._

"_Do you want the blue ball?" Emily asked cheerfully. "Perhaps you would like the teddy bear instead?"_

_Matthew reached his arms up and jumped up and down. The object of his desire still eluded him, just out of his grasp. He began to tug at his ears in frustration. He grabbed his grandmother's hand and attempted to have her procure object. Emily wanted to see if he could ask for it himself. Matthew had quite the vocabulary until he just stopped using his words at the age of two. They had to be somewhere inside him and she was just the person to help him retrieve them!_

"_Do you want the elephant puzzle," Emily asked enthusiastically, "or how about the red fire truck? How about the sea lion? We would be trainers in the circus and teach him how to balance a ball on his nose!" She clapped her hands together and attempted to make barking noises like a sea lion._

_Matthew's eyes went wide at his grandmother's antics. He didn't know whether to laugh at her or cry because she didn't know what he wanted! He stared at her for a moment and then pointed to the top shelf. His face contorted into a look of profound concentration, his brow furrowed, and his lips working at forming long unused words. Suddenly it was as if a light bulb turned on in his head and Matthew's whole face brightened. He turned his face toward his grandmother, while continuing to point, and announced as clear as day: "want blocks!"_

_Emily cheered and clapped, giving Matthew's hands a squeeze. "Good job, Matthew! You used your words! You want the blocks! Let's play with the blocks, shall we?" She reached up and pulled down the container of colorful building blocks from the top shelf and gave them to Matthew. He took them to the table and dumped them out. Emily joined him and together they stacked blocks._

"_Matthew, what color is this block?" Emily asked, holding a block up in front of Matthew's line of sight._

"_Blue," Matthew replied, taking the block and adding it to his stack._

"_And what color is THIS block? Is it blue?" Emily inquired, feigning confusion. She waited patiently for a response._

_Matthew thought for a moment and then took the block from his grandmother's weathered hand. "Not blue. Yellow!"_

"_Wonderful! That's right! It's yellow! What a smart little boy you are," Emily exclaimed with joy. "You know your colors! Can you tell Grandma what you're building?"_

"_Blocks," Matthew replied as he continued to make his stack higher and higher._

Maria stopped the DVD and turned to face the assembled group. "I chose this particular clip because I was very impressed with your interactions with Matthew. Emily, you showed more patience than I've seen from you, well…ever!" Maria laughed, as she blew Emily a kiss.

"Yeah, had that been one of Mom's maids she would have fired him," Lorelai chided.

"Now Lorelai, that was uncalled for," Richard said, frowning. "Your mother has been trying very hard change her ways. I'm very proud of what I just witnessed in that session. Emily, my dear, you never cease to amaze me with your willingness to grow and the effort you put into that growth." Richard leaned over and kissed his wife tenderly on the cheek causing Emily to blush slightly.

"Thank you Richard," she responded with a smile. "I was worried that Matthew was going to have a meltdown because he couldn't get me to understand what he was pointing to."

"The fact that Matthew was pointing was a level of communication that he wasn't even using before we started The Son-Rise Program," Maria stated. "I love how Emily would invite him into interaction by asking him what he wanted and waiting for him to respond. I've worked with so many families who tell me how they are being enthusiastic with their child and asking questions, and yet they wonder why they aren't getting those interactions. We're asking Johnnie questions and he just rocks and flaps more. Did you give him time to process? Uh…no. Maybe he's feeling overwhelmed and isn't ready to answer."

"So the key to getting Matthew to respond is to give him plenty of time to answer your requests?" Rory asked as she continued taking notes.

"We want to encourage Matthew to use his words to communicate instead of behaviors like tantrums," Maria explained. "In that example, Emily did a wonderful job of waiting for Matthew to respond to her requests and then she gave him praise for his efforts."

"Do you think that would help our Ariel?" Logan mused, rubbing his chin. "She's been tantruming more lately. I wonder if it's because she's frustrated. She isn't using her words either."

"Babe, relax," Rory said, giving Logan's leg a pat. "Ariel isn't showing signs of autism. She's just stubborn like her dad. I think we should just be more patient with her and encourage her to use her words rather than having a meltdown in frustration. It's beginning to work with Matthew."

"It will work with Ariel too," Maria nodded. "An attitude of unconditional love and acceptance works with everyone, not just children with autism. Who else can tell me what they noticed in Emily's interaction with Matthew?"

"Oh, wait! I know!" Lane practically jumped out of her seat. "I noticed that when Emily asked Matthew what he was building with the blocks he answered 'blocks'. When Steve and Kwan build they create elaborate forts and towns with dragons."

"Yeah, the little dude isn't using any imagination," added Zack. "I try to get him to play pretend games and he just looks at me like I got two heads!"

"Yes, Matthew is still having difficulty grasping the concept of imaginary play," Maria explained. "This is typical of a child with autism."

"But he pretended he was Scooby Doo with me," Luke noted. "That was definitely creative play."

"Yes, he did," Maria nodded. "That was another huge accomplishment for him and I'm glad you noticed that, Luke. He's only had one instance of imaginative play so far, but it's a huge breakthrough, one that we want to build on. Always give Matthew opportunities to be imaginative. Let him lead in an activity and then encourage imaginative play. What are some of Matthew's favorite activities?"

"He does like to drum with me," Lane noted, "so maybe he likes music."

"He does," Lorelai added excitedly. "When he was a baby, Matthew used to love to listen to music and dance around with Emmy!"

"Whoa! So like does that mean we can play instruments and jam with the little guy?" Gil inquired as he launched into a hard rock air guitar riff complete with head banging.

"I don't think Matthew's quite ready for Hep Alien," Lane replied, "but he seems to perk up when I join him on the toy drums."

"Give him time," Patty remarked. "I'll have him in my dance class yet. The boy is a natural, just like his big sister."

"Uh, Patty, you remember I quit class soon after I started," Rory announced.

"Yeah, but you couldn't have been as bad as your mom taking yoga," Babette shouted from across the room. "She broke her leg _and _the other gal's jaw!"

"Who knew that balancing stick pose was so dangerous," Lorelai said with a laugh. "I can't picture my boy doing yoga or ballet."

"He'll do ballet over my dead body," Luke snorted. "I'll teach him how to cook. He seems to love the shiny metal utensils anyway."

"Do you realize that this is the first time we've talked about Matthew's future with hope?" Lorelai remarked as huge grins spread across everyone's faces. "Whatever he wants to do- ballet, yoga, diner chef extraordinaire- I just want him to be happy. I want him to be so happy with his life."

"Me too," yawned a sleepy Emmy, as she climbed into her mother's lap to snuggle.


End file.
